- Erotic Poetry
- Yogyakarta Special Region
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Click hereAt night, twisted on my stiff cot,
I hear the slap of bodies in the humid air,
The rapid animal cries
Of pleasure, the rustle of sheets.
I would pay for a woman's body,
For the comfort of shared sweat,
For the small release it would offer
From cinnamon poetry and puppet shows,
But I am student, and rupiah
Are much to be conserved.
Perhaps Sinta would come to me
For just the promise of Colorado--
Her father is a farmer and he knows
Well of trusting in the Land. But,
I must be careful of my seed;
Life decisions are poorly made in need.
- COMMENTS
fridayamover 13 years agoand I liked the ending, with it's play on farmers and seeds, although I think it is the words "Life decisions" at the beginning of the last line that is the problem--they feel too banal in the context. Lovely read though. Ty
Diktorover 13 years agoAuthorfor your comment. I might disagree with you that that end rhyme was "forced" (it seemed quite natural to me, given how I talk and write), but you're way correct in saying that it ends the poem awkwardly. Thank you for your comment. It is much appreciated, and quite helpful.
Anonymousover 13 years agoThis is a good poem, but the forced end rhymes of the 2 last lines reads awkward.
