You Chose Him

I offered you my heart, my life, a better life for you.

You chose him.

He treated you like shit for so long you couldn't even remember when it started.

I worshipped you as a goddess, showered you with gifts, admired your beauty, your brains, your wit.
Slowly, ever so slowly, we rebuilt the self-esteem he had destroyed.

You chose him.

You ranted and raved about how terrible and lonely it was to be ignored, invisible, taken for granted.

I listened, reached across the wires, and tried to make it better.
Tried to help you make him notice you.

You chose him.

He hated that you had a career and he had a job.
He didn't understand how gifted you were, couldn't comprehend why it mattered.
You worked so hard to do something that would impress him, and he was bored by all your efforts.

I was amazed by what you could do, awed by your talent, applauded your accomplishments, shared your pride.
I taught you how to be better than you thought you could ever be.

You chose him.

He ignored his kids, took any excuse to let you raise them alone.
Guilt at feeling trapped by the children you loved with all your heart overwhelmed you.

I loved them almost as much as I loved you, miss them almost as much.
I thought my chest would burst when your small daughter looked up and told me she loved me.

You chose him.

He looked at you and saw a dated but occasionally useful piece in one of his collections.
Until another collector tried to steal the nearly worthless bauble.

I saw you, a person, a wonderful, warm, loving, caring soul.
I wasn't stealing. I paid dearly, in tears and heartache.

You chose him.

You told him that you loved me, and I loved you.
He apologized, said that he had been foolish, that he would do better.
Then he told you to get back in line, and you hopped right back up to your place on the shelf,
convinced it was your idea.
You probably smiled as he locked the cabinet again.

I asked you to give him one more chance to change, because I knew you would always wonder.
I was afraid, but trusted you to be smart enough to see, to remember all that he had done to you,
all the hurt he caused.

You chose him.

You offered yourself to me, told me again and again you wouldn't change your mind.
Said you would always love me, even after you decided to go.

I love you more.
Which one of us is the bigger fool?

You chose him.

He called and told me goodbye for you, told me to stay away, told me that...

You chose him.

Why?