You vs. Me

I was taken by you.
Shaken by your gentle demeanor and kind words.
It was absurd really, how easily we fell in line.
I had your back, and you had mine.

I was Bonnie to your Clyde.

We were two ships floating silently, side by side.
And I took pride in the thought that we were solid, a united front.
An impenetrable force to be reckoned with.
Fast forward to a game of Battleship, shoot to kill.
All anger and will in this ocean that now feels more like a fish bowl.

You sunk my heart, when you dropped the bomb.

It was supposed to be you and me against the world.
Now it's you versus me, and the world is our witness.
And within each sentence a death occurred.
Another star died.
Eyes that once shone with excitement, are now tarnished and dull.
Words once spoken from the heart, in the heat of the moment,
are now nothing more than cold echoes of a lie.

And I love you even still.

Love you till I can't speak...
because my only focus is breathing.

You told me once I was one of your best
friends.
And you're right, I was.
Because I was always there, I loved you unconditionally, I held you, comforted you, encouraged you, supported you.

And you fucked me.
Like we were friends with benefits.

You loved me for those 5 seconds every time you said it,
before you blew your load.

For 7 years.

And at that time, it was enough.
Because,
we still had mountains to climb.
Walls to break down,
and rebuild around each other.
We were lovers...in confidence,
instead of lovers and confidants.
And I lost mine in you.
Every day that you shut me out like I wasn't good enough.
In every cliche line about how it's not you, it's me.
In your inability to explain yourself.
Which meant I must not be trying hard enough to understand.
So I stood my ground even stronger.
Burrowed myself in to be that support beam you never had.
Fracturing my own foundation and peace of mind.
Knowing that I wouldn't last for the long haul like this,
but even still I was your leaning post.
Your shoulder, your crutch
And I tore myself down,
Just to rebuild myself in the image I thought you wanted.

For 7 fucking years!!

Which makes me the schmuck.
Because I sold out.
I sacrificed myself,
My own hopes and dreams.
Because I believed in love,
in due process; you get what you earn.
In respect and honesty.

Because I believed in you.