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Click hereI gaze up at you, your savage,
passionate eyes glare at me
fiercely locked on me, while your hair
weaves an arabesque tapestry
on my face, painting me with you.
Hot, sweating, your power, burning,
guiding me, rhythm controlling
as I feed your will, your yearning.
You take me so completely,
drawing me deep within you,
your fiery need leading me.
I begin to breathe with you,
my every movement becomes
one with yours, following a lead,
each touch, stroke, each thrust matches yours:
a choreography of need,
a ballet, of intense power
fiercely pulsating over me:
your body, draining my pleasure,
you moan, pulsing in ecstasy.
luring a person into the poem and holding them. Just one thing drew my attention "away" from the poem...too many "ings". Try to tone them down a bit. Change the wording as ones tongue and mind tends to get caught on them. Otherwise, excellent, surging poem.