- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Your skin
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Click hereYour skin, it warms and feels so good,
The thousand times I touched and felt,
All your love, the hands that held,
Comfort, hope and dreams that stood,
Not thinking what horrid truth there dwelled.
Your skin was cold when you softly spoke,
Those words that never left my mind,
They were not pleasant, not too kind,
They tore and burned and finally broke,
My heart that all the time was blind.
Your skin, so sweaty when we met,
And all the times our bodies shared,
The passion, warmth, your eyes that glared,
The heaven that we called our bed,
I wish my feelings would be spared.
Your skin is gone, I don't know why,
I only know I let you go,
I didn't want it, I could not know,
I guess we were a few rounds shy,
Of luck and love and shared future so.
Your skin, it's missing in this place,
I hope he deserves you more than I,
If only I could just drive by,
Look into your angel face,
And say, '' I'm sorry.'' But I just cry.
Your skin, it warmed and felt so good,
The hope I have it grows so thin,
I know I must get up, begin,
New life, new hope, new love that would,
Touch my heart, and warm my skin.
- COMMENTS
bg23almost 20 years agoWho cares if the theme has been used before, although that may be the understatement of the century? Its a concept that's always going to be around, so I hardly imagine people are going to stop writing about it. Wonderful stuff, Snoop, awkward and graceful all at once, smooth and yet halting. Could really feel the emotion that was put into the piece. I don't agree that your word structure needs work - I think its awkward enough to convey a sense of gritty reality, a sense of who you are, and far more effective than a flowing poem that is too polished. I can't claim to know that much about poetry myself of course, but these are just my thoughts.
ABSTRUSEalmost 20 years agoI really don't know a lot about poetry, but for someone who uses English as a second language, your words spoke quite movingly.
YDDalmost 20 years agoI realize English is not your first language,
However, you do far better in it than I could ever hope to do in a foreign tongue.
If you want comments,
then your theme of a pining lover who has been dumped is quite common
and pretty much used up.
Not all your rhymes are good.
Stanzas one and three could use another look,
and so could some of your word structure/arrangement.
I wouldn't be able to understand it, but if you have written poetry in German,
could you post one or two?
An audio poem would be great!
Then we could hear how a poem sounds in Deutsche!
