Yup I Got Fucked

-Yup I Got Fucked by EWFH (NSFW)

I sat there staring at the brown discrete box. The funny name in the return spot, that doesn't fit the item laying inside it's four cardboard walls. I am trying to think straight and wondering what I am to do with it now.

My mouth goes dry and my lips start to quiver as I think about what I could do to be happy even if it is just for a moment. Then my chin gives way and my eyes feel like they will melt onto the floor.

I said to myself 'suck it up, it is a proven fact cumming or having an orgasm releases serotonin' so
I slowly pulled back the tape like flashes in a movie and you were there and I relived the conversation about the 6 inch purple toy I am now holding in my hand.

And I still want to just say fuck it. Give it up and cry, but I have been alone for so long. I need to find some peace, bliss some respite and I don't know what else I can do alone in a foreign town and no friends to go out or talk.

So I start trying to get wet, because I forgot to buy lubricant. Typical me fucking everything up. I can't even fuck myself.

There go my eyes again, so my lips wont tremble anymore, I thrust it in only slightly damp. Thinking of everything we said and what we shared in confidence and trust only days prior to this.

You said it was safe. My body is getting flush, hot and red. You said I could tell you, that you weren't interested in anyone else or sharing my admittedly slightly warped fantasy. You said that it was you I could trust.

I told you that I wanted to watch you while you fucked someone else.

With that last thought came a rush of heavy tears, climax and a gut wrenching pain you cant even begin to imagine.

Whoever said dreams cant cum; and come true obviously doesn't know how I feel about my value to you and how you can be so cruel like I do.

How is that for self-mutilation? I spent the rest of the night and morning rocking myself. Folded into my own arms pretending they were yours, counting with every rock as if I was going to lull myself magically to sleep.

I lost another part of my soul. We had a relationship for years and now knowing I was nothing more these past seven months than just some call girl whore.

Now I am seven hundred miles away from home. Awake and counting as I try to sway gently. The only thing pretending to bring me comfort while it laughs in my face is the thought of you screwing her.

And I am glad I didn't record a video like you wanted because I'm still so lonely for you and obviously fucked up with grief I would have sent it. Just to hear and feel the scorn of your rejection and abandonment.

I am completely broken

-Yup I Got Fucked by EWFH
(NSFW)