1. Racing From Love Ch. 19-21

She was just leaving when her mom pulled into the driveway. She hadn’t seen her since they’d been out to lunch that day and she had told Emma that she should break it off with Sam. She waited on the front step for her, watching as she gathered her brief case and locked the car. Her mom smiled and waved to her, Emma waved back.

As she watched her mom walk towards her she anticipated the anxiety, but it never came. Emma covered the last few steps between them and enclosed her mom in a tight hug. Her mom was a few inches taller than her and much broader, she was a tall athletic woman. Emma’s had to lift her face up towards the sky to hug her.

‘Mommy,’ she whispered, thinking of everything her mother had sacrificed for her.

‘What is it Emma? What’s wrong?’ Her mom asked.

‘Mom, I love you,’

‘I love you too Emma,’ she replied. ‘What’s all of this about?’

Emma pulled away from her and looked up into her eyes. ‘Mom, you saved my life, I owe you my life, but I can’t stop loving Sam because that’s what you want.’

Her mom’s eyes narrowed and turned dark. ‘You’re going to go back to him,’ she stated.

‘Yes.’

‘You are going to engage in a sexual relationship with your brother.’

‘Yes, if he’ll have me back.’ Emma knew that she would have to tell Sam all of the things that Nanna had told her, she hoped it wouldn’t make a difference to the way he felt about her.

‘With your brother, Emma. Do you realize how disgusting that is?’

‘I understand that you find it… disturbing, yes. But I love him, I need him.’ Emma was surprised by how calm she felt.

‘And what about what Sam needs?’

‘Sam has a choice too, he’s always had a choice.’

Her mom sighed, her lips contorted in a tight frown. ‘I’m not happy about this Emma. I want you to leave now.’

‘Okay.’ Emma looked at her mom for a few long seconds. ‘Mom, I hope you decide to stay in our lives, it would be horrible to live without you,’ she told her.

Her mother looked uneasy. She opened her mouth as if to speak but then shut it again. Emma turned away and walked down to her car. When she looked back up her mother had gone into the house.



CHAPTER TWENTY

It wasn’t that warm in Fresno, Emma agreed that a swim meet was a stupid idea. She zipped her fleece all the way up to her chin and rooted around in the trunk of her car for more warm clothes. She’d come straight from training that morning, she’d taken a lightening fast shower and thrown on her track pants and a t-shirt, not even thinking about what the weather might be like closer to the mountains.

She found a woolen winter hat and shoved it down over her unruly hair. That would have to do, the only other clothes in her car were a swimsuit and a tank top.

She tried to jog over to the swimming complex but she couldn’t handle the pain in her boobs. They were so incredibly sore, running had been really uncomfortable this morning. She folded her arms over her chest and walked very quickly to try and generate some body heat.

When she got to the swim complex she opted to take the back way in. She’d been here before, actually more than once, so she knew her way around. She wanted to sit and watch until Sam had swum all of his events before going to say hello, and taking the back way in would help her to avoid him.

She stopped past the notice board where the program was posted to check the schedule of events. She looked up at the score board, they were up to event 14, about half way through the program. She scanned down the list of events. Sam would have already swam the 100 and 200 fly and the 200 IM, there were two more events before the 400 IM, then he’d be done until the relays.

She walked up into the stands. It was fairly crowded, the teams from Cal, Stanford and UCLA were there, and each had brought their women’s team as well. She decided to sit behind the UCLA supporters. Shit it was cold. She pulled her knees into her chest and hugged them with her arms.

They were swimming the 100 breaststroke. This was Tyler’s event. Emma scanned the men behind the blocks trying to figure out if he was in the line up. Not in the first heat. The starting gun went off and the next row of swimmers moved up behind the blocks.

Her heart skipped a beat. Sam was down there. He was talking to a lanky guy, it must have been Tyler. He must have been wishing him good luck. They did one of those stupid handshakes that guys do and to her surprise he lined up behind lane 2. Sam was swimming the 100 breaststroke? What was up with that?

The racing was moving quickly. The previous heat cleared from the water and Sam’s heat was called onto the blocks. He looked so good up there. He was wearing a racing suit that extended from his hips to his ankles, his tanned torso was lean and his shoulders bulky. The starting gun went off. He got a pretty good start and surfaced near the front of the field.

They were swimming short course so it was 4 laps total. Tyler was kicking ass. She watched him carefully; what was he doing that made him move through the water so fast? He wasn’t taking more strokes than anyone else, in fact, if anything he was taking fewer, longer strokes. His arms didn’t look like they were doing any of the work, it was all in his kick.

He had an amazing kick, his hips and legs actually undulated like he was swimming butterfly, his feet came close to breaking the surface but they never did. She looked over at Sam. He was doing a pretty good job at keeping up but he looked like shit compared to Tyler, too flat in the water. Sam looked like he was going flat out, while Tyler seemed to be gliding along effortlessly. The race was over quickly and they cleared the water.

She watched as Sam pulled himself out of the water and waited for Tyler, who’d been a few lanes over from him, to get out. He patted Tyler on the back and they walked over to the warm up pool together.

Emma sat through the women’s 100 breaststroke and then the 50 freestyle. It wasn’t that long before Sam was behind the blocks again, this time for the 400 IM.

Again he got a pretty good start but this time he was leading at the first turn. He had such a beautiful butterfly, so powerful yet graceful at the same time. His backstroke was looking nice too, he was easily a few body lengths ahead of the rest of the field when he came into the turn for the breaststroke leg.

He stuffed up the turn, he flipped too close to the wall and he stumbled when he pushed off. It cost him a few tenths of a second. He still had an easy lead over the rest of the field but it was diminishing by the time he got to the end of the breaststroke. He sprinted the last 100 freestyle and came in a good couple of seconds ahead of second place. He won easily but it was a shitty race, he looked sloppy.

She watched him get out of the water and go to the warm up pool to cool down. She gave him a few minutes before getting up to go find him. Her legs felt stiff and her ass was numb from sitting on the cold bleacher. She walked around the competition pool and over to the warm up pool.

She scanned the water looking for him. He wasn’t in there, she looked around the deck of the pool. He was talking to Tyler, he had his back to her. Tyler was demonstrating something to him, showing him an arm movement. They were about the same height but Sam was way bulkier in the shoulders.

Two women in swimsuits approached them, Emma watched intently. One of them put her hand on Sam’s arm and Emma felt a fire ignite in her stomach. Sam moved his arm to scratch his head, side-stepping at the same time to move away from her reach, not rudely but obviously. Emma smiled, she didn’t deserve such a good man.

She walked towards them, she was getting so close that she could hear snippets of their conversation, the woman that had touched Sam was laughing loudly.

Sam had shaved his head, she hadn’t noticed it before but it looked good from this close, short and thick.

Tyler saw her, a big goofy grin spread over his face. ‘Oh, this is going to be good,’ he said.

Emma smiled back at Tyler.

‘What?’ Sam asked as he turned around, following Tyler’s gaze.

‘Hey Sammy,’ she said, giving him her best smile.

‘Emma!’ He was obviously surprised.

‘Nice hair cut,’ she said as she ran her hand over his head, his short damp hair chilling her already cold fingers.

He pulled her into a hug. ‘What are you doing here?’ He asked, bewildered.

‘I wanted to see you race.’

‘What do you think Emma? Are you going to rip him a new one?’ Tyler said, still grinning.

‘Huh?’ She asked as Sam released her.

‘Didn’t you see that last race? He missed a turn, I thought you’d be all over that,’ he said with a questioning tilt of his head. The two girls looked on interestedly.

‘Oh, I thought it was fine. It was great. Good race Sam,’ she said. She patted him on the back for good measure. ‘I saw the 100 breaststroke too, you were awesome Tyler.’

Tyler narrowed his eyes at her, ‘Now I’m suspicious,’ he said.

‘What? I’m serious,’ she said. She rubbed her hands together to try and warm them.

Sam grabbed her hands. ‘You’re freezing. Come on, I’ll get you a sweater,’ he said as he lead her away towards where the USC team had all of their gear on the grassy hill on the West side of the competition pool. He let go of her as he ducked to get under the tent. There were athletes all over the place, stretching, chilling, listening to music, it wasn’t unlike the track team at Cal.

Sam leaned down and rifled through a bag, his racing suit just covered to tops of his butt cheeks, she could see the curve of the small of his back. He pulled a hooded sweatshirt from his bag and walked to the back of the tent where the big long fleece lined team parkas were hanging. She waited as he sorted through them until he found the one that said ‘Watson’ on the back.

He came back out from the tent holding the sweatshirt in one hand and the parka in the other. ‘Which one?’ he asked.

She reached for the hoodie and quickly pulled it over her head. It was stupidly large on her, the waistband fell half way down her thighs, but it was warm. ‘Thanks. I left so quickly this morning I didn’t even think about bringing warm clothes.’

‘Is there another reason you’re here Em?’ He asked as he pulled his parka on, his face was serious.

‘Yeah, I wanted to talk to you in person.’

He nodded, ‘Okay, come on,’ he grabbed her hand and started walking out of the swim complex. He led her past the food stands, past the locker rooms and around the corner, to the rear of the building, which was deserted.

‘You’ve made a decision?’ He asked, tense.

She nodded. ‘Yes…’ she took a deep breath, ‘I think we should have the baby,’ she told him.

He was staring at her hard, it made her feel unsure of herself, wasn’t this what he’d wanted?

‘You’re sure?’

‘So long as you are Sam, I can’t do this without you.’

He was still staring at her. ‘You want to keep the baby?’ He asked again.

‘Yes.’ She replied.

Finally he broke the stare. He closed his eyes and let out a breath, as if he had been holding it for a long time. He pulled her to him, hugging her close. She cringed, it hurt her boobs, but she didn’t want to pull away. ‘Thank you Emma,’ he whispered to her.

He held her like that for a long time, the pain in her breasts subsided with the prolonged contact. She moved her arms under his parka and hugged him around his naked torso. Her hands found his bare skin and were heated by the warmth radiating from him.

He pulled back from her a little. They were still in a half-hug, with her hands resting on his hips and his hands on her shoulders.

‘Did you decide about us?’ He asked.

‘I think so. We need to talk about it more first,’ she said.

‘Okay, what do you want to talk about?’ He asked.

‘There are some things that I need to tell you, it’s kind of a long story. When are you going to be home for Christmas break?’

‘My last exam is Thursday morning, I can come up right after that,’ he said.

She nodded, ‘Okay, come to my apartment first.’

He was staring at her again. ‘What?’ She asked.

‘Come on Em, you’re killing me. Is it ‘I think so good’, or ‘I think so bad?’’

She smiled, ‘Let’s just say that I am amenable.’

‘Amenable? Shit babe, you’re going to make me get out a dictionary at a time like this?’

She laughed. ‘Sam, I want to be with you, I just think there are some things we need to talk about first.’

Sam leaned down close to her face. ‘You want to be with me?’ He asked softly, his lips just inches from hers. She could see the faint freckles that were scattered across his tanned nose and cheeks.

‘Yeah Sammy, I want to be with you,’ she replied in a quiet voice.

His hands cupped her face, he looked into her eyes for a few long seconds. This was her man, the man she would spend the rest of her life with, the father of her child. He brought his lips down to meet hers. He kissed her slowly, his cold lips gentle yet incessant, his warm tongue stroking her back to life. She let her hands roam over his naked back, gliding over his smooth skin and caressing his firm musculature. She was lost in him. He was warm, he felt so good in the cold air.

Nearby, someone cleared their throat. Emma and Sam broke their kiss. It was Tyler, with that goofy grin of his.

‘Sorry,’ he said. At least he had the decency to look a little sheepish about it. ‘Sam, you’re going to miss the 200 free if you don’t hurry up.’

‘200 free?’ She asked. She was surprised by this new program of events, first 100 breaststroke and now 200 freestyle?

‘Yeah, well I figured if I’m going to swim the IM for real I had better figure out my breaststroke and freestyle,’ Sam said.

Emma smiled, he was taking her advice.

They walked back to the pool together with Tyler.

‘So, can I assume it is good news?’ He asked.

Sam grinned, ‘Emma is amenable.’

Tyler laughed. ‘Emma is going to make a very good lawyer. Isn’t amenable one of those words that can have about ten different meanings?’

‘Yes,’ she admitted.

Sam turned to look at her, his brow furrowed in question.

‘It’s okay, there was only one definition of it that made any sense in the context, it means willing.’

His eyes widened and she couldn’t help but laugh at his wicked grin, ‘Oh, I like that better… Emma is willing.’ He pulled her into his side with one arm around her waist.

She laughed as she batted at him. ‘Get away from me, you pervert,’ she giggled.

‘No way, you never know what sort of mischief a willing woman may get up to in a place like this.’

They had come back to the team tent. He smiled down at her, ‘I guess I will have to trust Tyler with you for now.’

He let go of her and ducked back under the tent leaving her standing with Tyler. He emerged a few seconds later, he’d shed his parka and had swim cap and goggles in one hand. He held out a shopping bag.

‘Eat.’ It was half way between a request and an order.

She nodded as she took the bag from him.

‘Be back in a minute,’ he said as he walked off towards the warm up pool.

She looked at Tyler, who was regarding her openly.

‘What?’ She asked him.

‘Nothing, it’s just that I’ve never seen Sam play with anyone like that before. Come on.’

He led her past the team tent to a patch of grass in the sun. There were fewer people around and they’d have a good view of the competition pool from here.

‘So, what was it like growing up with Sam?’ He asked as he sat down on the grass.

Sam must have told him. She looked at him carefully, he seemed open and friendly, she guessed that if Sam trusted him she should too. She sat down beside him and opened the bag.

‘Good. I’m glad for him,’ she said as she rooted around in the bag. He had a tonne of food in there; fruit, cheese, bread, nuts. She pulled out the loaf of bread, it was one of those artisan loaves. She tore off a chunk and started chewing it. The sleeves of Sam’s sweater fell down around her hands but she didn’t bother to roll them up. Her stomach didn’t feel too bad. Not great, but not too bad.

‘God, I would have hated to be Sam’s sibling, he’s such an overachiever. How could you get noticed with Sam being so good at everything?’

She laughed, ‘Well, we lived in a pretty white neighborhood, I was the only black kid in our grade at school, it was kind of hard for me to not get noticed. Besides, Sam’s not good at everything, you obviously haven’t heard him sing. Or should I say, try to sing.’

‘Really?’ Tyler was grinning, obviously delighting in finding out the dirt on his friend.

‘The boy doesn’t have a musical bone in his body. When we were in grade school our mom insisted that we learn to play an instrument. Our school had a bunch of instruments that they rented out to families, I got a violin and Sam got a clarinet.

She smiled thinking about it. ‘It was so funny. Sam couldn’t stand the fact that he wasn’t good at it, he would practice and practice and practice, but he was terrible. The clarinet is a beautiful instrument, but in Sam’s hands it was an instrument of torture. I swear our ears were bleeding. I think it sent our Poppa deaf, he was never quite the same after Sam got that clarinet.

‘Sam was so upset, he became convinced that it was broken.’ She started laughing, thinking back to the young boy who’d thrown such a big tantrum. ‘He insisted that we swap instruments. It took me all of 30 minutes to figure out how to play it. He was so mad. To my knowledge he’s never touched another musical instrument since.’

Tyler’s eyes were sparkling as he laughed. ‘What else? What else is Sam bad at?’ He asked.

‘Oh, I don’t know, that’s probably it.’ Actually she knew of a lot of other things that Sam wasn’t any good at, he was terrible at ball sports, he couldn’t dance, he never understood grammar and punctuation, he had been hopeless at disciplining their dog Rosie, but he was good at all of the things that mattered.

The 200 freestyle had started. She sat up tall to try and locate Sam in the marshaling area behind the blocks.

‘Lane 5,’ Tyler pointed him out.

She watched as his heat was called onto the blocks and the starting gun went off. He dove into the water in a perfect arch. She wasn’t used to watching Sam race freestyle, it had been a long time since he had any free events in his program. He looked pretty good, at least he was nailing the turns this time. He was still doing that stupid thing with his head when he turned to breath on his right side, he’d look up towards the end of the pool instead of turning exclusively to the side. She guessed it was because he had been a butterflyer for so long and he was used to looking ahead.

He was doing well to keep up with the field, actually he was pretty close to first place. If he’d just keep his damn head down he probably would have taken first place, she’d have to say something to him about it, it didn’t seem like his coach was doing much for him.

She watched as he pulled himself out of the pool and looked around for them, his broad chest rising and falling rapidly. She put her hand up above her head and waved, he smiled and waved back as he walked towards the warm up pool.

She relaxed and continued eating the bread, she was surprised by how much she’d eaten, almost a quarter of the loaf. She put it away and took out an apple and started to chow down on it. Jesus, she was really hungry.

‘What did you think?’ Tyler asked.

‘I think he can win the 400 IM at worlds this year, if he stops farting around with that coach of yours,’ she said honestly. ‘He might be good at writing workouts, you guys look fit in the water, but he’s done jack all for his technique as far as I can tell, and I think he has Sam on the wrong weights program.’

‘What, he’s not big enough for you?’ He asked.

‘No, I think he’s too bulky. He looks like a sprinter.’