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Click hereJohn and Mary settled down to watch the 10 O'clock News one warm September night recently. They were a middle class couple with two kids, two cars, and two jobs. Their house was nice but not lavish. They were educated and felt that they were knowledgeable citizens. This being an election year, they started paying attention to candidates and issues early. They frequently discussed the issues and looked deeper into them if they felt uncertain about them. They were reluctant to discuss politics outside of their home because too many tense arguments developed between friends.
So on this warm September they sat down after putting the kids to bed to watch the news, expecting little of importance to be revealed. It was what is known in the news business as a slow news day. There weren't any violent deaths, multiple car pileups, or miraculous cures for disease to be announced. The local sports teams were in the midst of slumps. None of the players had made headlines in over two weeks.
John and Mary settled down as the two anchors casually joked with each other. The one on the left turned a serious face to the camera and announced the first story of the evening. A young Hollywood starlet had made a silly statement on a talk show and at least three national organizations were up in arms and threatening to boycott the starlet's popular TV show. Following a commercial, the other anchor announced that a high school on the west side of town had been named as a state-wide finalist for achievement since 75% of their students had passed last year's achievement test program. Three juniors were interviewed all of them expressed their enthusiasm by using the word 'wow' at least twice in their interview.
Following a commercial, the first anchor announced a News feature on a local man who had discovered a use for used garbage bags. It ran for almost four and one half minutes before the next commercial break.
Then just before the sports teaser, the second anchor announced that a local politician had held a news conference at a local hotel earlier this evening and that their crack News Team was there with complete coverage. The video of the politician started as he began his announcement.
"Good evening friends, enemies, and constituents. For the past six years, I have represented my district to the very best of my abilities. Some people like what I have done. Just as many have disliked what I have done. Frankly, I respect both of those groups. For those that haven't liked me, I understand. But please understand that I felt that the decision I made was the best for everyone."
"Recently, some groups whose feathers I have ruffled have taken it upon itself to remove me from office. They have set up a pretty smiley face who talks well on television even if he doesn't understand what he is saying to run against me. Right now, they have funded this candidate with five times more money than I have and have promised more to come. I have been approached by four groups who have promised me vast sums of money if I will support their particular agenda. They have assured me that they have the people and the money to insure that I will be re-elected."
"Folks, I have always worn a blue shirt and a red and white striped tie because I love this country and believe in its importance and value to this world. It is important to me that I do my very best for you and the nation as a whole. After considering my options, I cannot allow myself to become a pawn for any of these groups. Therefore, I am withdrawing my name from consideration for this office. I do so regretfully but fully aware that my conscience is more important to me than being elected by trickery and manipulation."
"Thank you for allowing me to represent you and I wish all of you my best. By the way the names of all these organizations will be posted on my Facebook page in the morning if you are interested." He stepped back from the microphone and the camera switched to the in-house political analyst who quickly summarized the incumbent's achievements.
"While not well known among his peers, he is recognized by staffers and insiders as being a tireless worker and one who studies pending legislation diligently and casts his vote accordingly. Unfortunately, he often votes against his own party. As a result, his party is actively looking for a replacement while the opposition is satisfied with their choice to replace him. Back to you in the studio, Ed."
"Thank you for that accurate and insightful report, Jim. In a related story, the police have discovered a man shot to death in a parking garage a block away from the hotel. He has been described as a middle aged man wearing a blue shirt and a red and white tie. Preliminary reports indicate that the man was shot multiple times although police are confused as it appears that all of the gunshot wounds were from different guns. A witness reports that there was a card on the body which read, "In Jesus name, sleep well, heathen." This hasn't been confirmed. Further information will be released after confirmation of his identity and notification of his next of kin. Following this commercial break we will go to sports where our team might pull one out tonight."
John and Mary flicked off the television and rose to go to bed. "That was a sad story about the man shot in the hotel garage." Mary said. "He was probably an out of town business man going out to look for a hooker." John replied. Mary said, "You're probably right as usual."
They turned out the light and were quickly asleep.
Political satire was once upon a time a highly regarded art form. You’re not David Frost but a fun read.
Short stories are a special type of writing, and you have succeeded beautifully! A statement of today's society that has had me gigling for days - but probably flies over many peoples' heads! I just love it.
Many may say that it does not belong here, at Literotica, but if it had not been, I would not have received such pleasure. Thank you, again.
the reporting has been known to cause sleep apnia. TK U MLJ LV NV
I don't understand the meaning. Would you mind explaining it?
The talking heads and their sort are usually in the pocket of a political party and as such present the party line.
John and Mary (Q. Public)?
Well how else do you explain the election and re-election of so many who obviously do not have OUR best interests in mind?
But if voting really mattered would they let us do it?