180 Degrees-Vicky's Today

*

Sitting in Dylan's car on her way back to Pennsylvania, her mind worked overtime. She couldn't seem to formulate a coherent thought. Why hadn't Tae looked in the bag? If she knew what it was, why hadn't she arrested her? What would happen now? And why had she kissed her?

She felt nauseous...her heart was racing, her hands still trembling. This time, it wasn't only the fear of driving on slick roads. She blinked the tears from her eyes, not certain why she was crying...not certain how she felt about the entire ordeal. She was relieved when she pulled into Dylan's driveway safely. She sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to calm herself.

When she entered the house a full 20 minutes later, she wasn't surprised that Dylan was parked in front of the television playing video games. The latest Grand Theft Auto from the sounds of it. She tossed the make-up case on the sofa beside him.

"What the—...babe! You got it! Thank god!" He stood and folded her into his arms. For some reason, she wasn't comforted. "Jimmy was about to have my ass for this shit. Thanks baby!"

And he went back to playing his game, just like that. A pound of uncut cocaine sitting beside him. He didn't ask what had taken her so long. He didn't ask why she'd sat in the driveway for 20 minutes. She sighed, making her way up the stairs and heading for the bathroom. She locked the door, removed her clothes, and stood beneath a piping hot spray as she cried softly into her washcloth.

Two hours later, Dylan shook her shoulder roughly, rousing her from the deep sleep that she'd worked so hard to claim. She pushed his hand away, turning her back to him.

"Babe, Jimmy's downstairs. He wants to talk to you."

Was she supposed to care that his dealer wanted to speak with her?

"Fuck off Dylan, I'm sleeping. Tell him I'm sick."

"But babe—"

She sat up, kicking the covers from her. "Dyl, I fucking got the package back. And I'm not doing this again. So fuck him and fuck you. Now leave me alone."

She knew he followed her from the bedroom because he was expecting her to head downstairs. Instead, she made her way to a guest bedroom, slamming the door in his face and locking it.

She could hear him making her apologies downstairs, but for once she didn't care. Tae's words reverberated through her head. 'You cannotbe this stupid.' Except shewasthat stupid, wasn't she? She sighed, crawling beneath a goose-filled quilt and trying to quell the tears threatening to fall again. She'd just about fallen asleep again when Dylan began pounding on the door.

"Bitch, are you crazy?! What the fuck is going on with you? Open this fucking door!"

"Dylan, leave me alone!"

"You fucking embarrassed me Vi! Open this fucking door before I break it down!"

She didn't like the way his voice sounded. Higher, pinched, rushed...like he'd been using. Sampling the merchandise with Jimmy most likely. And Dylan did not think logically when he was high. She stood and opened the door, believing he would break it down if she didn't. She had to calm him down or he'd never leave her alone.

"Dyl, I'm just not feeling well. I told you I wasn't feeling well. I'm still out of it from the accident," she started, trying to placate him.

"But that's myboy! Why would you fuck with me like that in front of him?! Now he thinks I'm some punk ass faggot!"

She swallowed, this wasn't going well. He was becoming more and more agitated.

"I'm sorry baby," she'd lowered her voice, assuming a contrite position. "I wasn't feeling well. I'll call Jimmy and apologize, okay?"

"Fuck that! He's never gonna let up! Why would youdothat?"

"Dyl, it's not a big deal—"

He hit her. The intellectual thought reached her brain, as well as the pain from her cheek, before the emotion caught up. She stood before him, her hand against her cheek, her mouth open as she stared in shock.

"I told you before about that shit! I told you about that! You don't do that shit in front of Jimmy! I can't look like no faggot in front of him! You want me dead?! You want him to put a bullet in my fucking brain because I can't control you?! Are you fucking nuts?!"

She wasn't any more prepared for the second blow or the next one that buckled her knees and had her sinking to the carpeted floor. She'd have to figure out, later on, why it took her so long to move, to crawl away from him as he kicked her, stealing the breath from her lungs. She was at the stairs, hurrying away from him before he kicked her down them. Dressed in nothing more than a tee shirt and boxers, she grabbed his car keys and ran from the house. She thought to lock the car doors before fumbling to put the key in the ignition. Dylan appeared out of no where, screaming, yelling, kicking at his own car with a force that scared her to death. She put the car in reverse and sped out of the driveway.

*

She didn't know where she was or how long she'd been driving by the time the pain in her face forced her to realize she needed to go to a hospital. She could barely focus on the road because of the throbbing, almost blinding pain. And when she licked her lip, she tasted blood. She was tempted to assess the damage herself, but she was scared to look in the mirror. Instead, she began to focus on the road signs in an attempt to figure out where she was. She'd driven toward her job, the commute she drove four days a week, probably out of habit. She found a blue sign with a huge white 'H' on it and began to make her way to the nearest hospital.

The look on the triage nurse's face should have scared her, but she ignored it. After a short wait and some x-rays, the resident doctor told her the bruising and swelling would go down over time. His ring had lacerated her cheek, but it wasn't deep enough to need stitches. He said he wasn't sure that the scar would disappear entirely. He patched her up, asked if she wanted to speak to a domestic violence counselor, and then asked if she had someone who could drive her home. The pain meds he'd given her would make it almost impossible for her to drive. She shook her head, hesitated for a moment, and then asked him to call Tae.

She wasn't sure why Tae came to mind, and she regretted calling the 'police,' since she had no intention of pressing charges. Still, she was relieved, after another 30 minutes in the waiting room, when the tall, broad shouldered woman stepped through the emergency room doors. She thought Tae did a pretty good job of downplaying the wince that appeared on her face when she spotted Vicky. She stood, her legs wobbly, as Tae approached.

"Hi, thanks for coming." Her voice was distorted, as if her cheeks were filled with cotton. Tae's wince had transformed into an angry frown.

"What happened to you?"

Vicky shook her head, hesitating, "it was an accident. I-I...I didn't have anyone else I could call this late. The doctor didn't want me to drive—"

"What kind of accident? Someone accidentally ramming a fist into your face?"

She shook her head again, but didn't say another word. She looked past Tae as another officer entered the emergency room. She assumed it was Tae's partner. Tae left her side to speak with the shorter, Hispanic man dressed in a similar brown trooper's uniform. She watched him turn to leave as Tae made her way back to her side.

"How did you get here?"

"I drove."

Tae held out her hand and after a moment's hesitation Vicky realized she was asking for the keys. She handed them over, watching as Tae shrugged out of her leather bomber and hung it on her shoulders.

"Rick's gonna follow me. I'm gonna put you in a hotel until my shift is over, okay? Then I'll be back."

Vicky nodded, following her to Dylan's car and sliding into the passenger's seat. As Tae pulled out of the parking lot, she realized she didn't have her wallet and told Tae as much.

"Don't worry about it."

She nodded, closing her eyes. She hadn't realized how sleepy she was. Fifteen minutes later Tae had her tucked away in a Holiday Inn. It only took her a few minutes to climb into the bed and fall asleep.

*

It was daylight when she opened her eyes. A quick glance at the clock informed her it was after 11am. She looked around the room, but saw no sign that Tae had returned.

After calling the front desk, she realized she only had about 30 minutes before check out. So she called Dylan, trying to figure out if he was home. When he didn't answer his cell, she checked out and drove back to Brodheadsville.

She was relieved that he wasn't there when she arrived. She showered, wincing at the purple, blue and black swollen mass that was now her face. Once she was done, she took a pain pill and checked the messages on her voicemail. A message from Dylan surprised her.

"Baby...I'm really, really sorry. I was high...I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Look, when you get this, I need you to call Taz in Brooklyn. He'll tell you where I keep my stash. I need you to bail me out. Please baby, I'll make it up to you, but you gotta get me out of here. They got me on possession and battery. Okay, I hope you come soon."

His breathing sounded labored...and frightened. She couldn't help but smile just a little considering the night she'd just had. She sighed, she'd still help him out though. And then, she needed to figure out what she wanted to do with the rest of her life...or at least where she planned to live. The realization that she'd made up her mind about her relationship was comforting. What was distressing was that she had less than a thousand dollars in her savings account and certainly no money to rent an apartment. She sighed again, dialing Taz in Brooklyn.

Hours later, as she drove to the police station, Vicky shook her head. Not only did Dylan have close to $50,000 squirreled away, he'd put all of his bank accounts, cars and his house inhername. She assumed it was so they couldn't take his assets under the forfeiture laws if he was arrested. After requesting a $10,000 certified check for his bail, she helped herself to an additional $10,000, moving it into a new account at a different bank. She'd deal with his anger later, but at least she had the money to get away from him. Considering she wasn't pressing charges, he should consider it a settlement for her pain and suffering.

After paying for his bond, Vicky opted not to hang around. Instead, she made her way back to his house,herhouse technically, and packed as much of her stuff a she could fit in two manageable bags. She called a cab and was booked into another hotel room before Dylan arrived.

She wasn't surprised when her cell phone rang about two hours later and Dylan's phone number appeared on her caller ID screen. She answered the phone.

"Hi baby. I thought you would be here when I got home."

"Dylan, I got you out. I'm not coming back there. I'm done with this."

He sighed a little impatiently, "babe, come on. I'm sorry. I was fucked up. I didn't know what I was doing."

"Dylan, I don't care. I'm done."

He paused and she could hear him recalculating, "okay, so you're pissed, I get it. I'll leave you alone for now. But, you got something that belongs to me. I want it back. And you gotta call the cops off my ass."

She wasn't surprised he had found out about the money so quickly.

"Consider it payment for my pain and suffering," and then she realized the rest of his statement. "What are you talking about with the cops? I didn't call the cops."

"The bitch that drove you home the other day. She was at the precinct when they brought me in. She told them to add battery to the possession charge. You know I got priors baby, they're talking 5 to 10."

Vicky wasn't certain how to respond.Taehad him arrested? She was stunned, to say the least.

"Dylan, I'll talk to you about this later."

She ended the call before he could say another word. She sat on the bed, trying to digest the information. Why had Tae made those decisions without discussing them with her? She closed her eyes, trying not to imagine her teaching career flushed down the toilet. And trying not to regret that she hadn't taken more of that money. She sighed, lying back on the comfortable bed. She was dizzy and nauseous, probably because she hadn't eaten this morning. She just wanted to rest for a few more hours before she had to deal with all of this.

*

When she woke, Tae was sitting in a chair beside the bed. She didn't mind waking up to this woman's face, that creamy, caramel skin, those full lips and piercing gray eyes. Eyes that were focused on her right now. She shifted uncomfortably, lowering her amber-colored eyes as she pulled herself up into a sitting position.

"How did you find me?" She hedged, already knowing how easy it would have been for a New Jersey trooper to run her credit cards. Especially since she'd opted to hole up in New Jersey.

"I'm a cop. You ready to tell me what's going on?"

That husky voice touched something in her and she wanted to trust her instincts, wanted to believe this woman could help her out of the mess she'd created for herself. But like Tae had just reminded her, shewasa cop.

"Nothing. I just...wh-what do you mean? Nothing is going on."

She listened as Tae sighed with frustration.

"Vicky, I'm not here to arrest you. But I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

She shook her head. She couldn't. Couldn't admit she'd been a fool for so long, risked her freedom, her livelihood...everything. She'd risked everything for a man who was more concerned about impressing his supplier than he was about her.

"I can't."

"Look, just...trust me, okay. Just take a shot and trust me."

Vicky turned to look at her, her amber eyes staring into gray eyes so stormy she was lost in them. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly...then took another. Dylan would go to prison for far more than five years if she decided to trust this woman...this cop. And she would probably spend time inside herself. She was a drug mule. There was no escaping prison. Unless she gave them Jimmy. But Jimmy would hunt her down and kill her if she opened her mouth.

She took another deep breath and dove in.

"I traffic drugs for him. I drive a brick across state lines twice a week. Dylan sells out of the house in the Poconos. There was a pound of uncut cocaine in that bag you returned to me yesterday."

It felt odd to admit it. She'd never told anyone. Not her brother, not her best friend. In fact, it was one of the reasons she had avoided people for the past year. And now it was out, sitting between them. She watched Tae chew the inside of her check as she processed the information.

"Fuck."

Vicky nodded, agreeing with Tae's assessment.

"You had Dylan arrested. He'll give me up before he spends another night in jail. And he'll sell me out way before he gives up his supplier."

"Do you know who he works for?"

She shook her head slowly, her eyes widened with fear, "I can't. I can't. He'll kill me."

"Not if you put him away first."

"He's huge and I-I...I just can't. I'll just do my time."

Tae snorted, "do you know how much time you're talking? Probably a nickel, mandatory. Maybe more since it's dealer weight."

Vicky swallowed, "five years?"

"Minimum."

She closed her eyes, trying to swallow down the tears. Jesus.

"Tell me that you at least saved some of the money you made so you can hire a damn good lawyer?"

She shook her head, her eyes stilled closed. "I didn't make any money. Dylan just asked me to do it for him. I didn't get paid."

When she opened one eye to take in Tae's look, she wasn't totally surprised by the look of incredulity on the woman's face.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No. I took some money from him, around $10,000, but that's all I have."

Silence hung between them again.

"Fuck."

She didn't know if it was the panic rising up to choke her, or the concern in Tae's final comment, but she couldn't seem to stop the tears that began to fall.

"I'm screwed, aren't I?"

She watched Tae who was watching her, the two staring at one another for a full minute before Tae sighed again.

"I'm not gonna lie to you. You might be able to get out of this if you give up the guy Dylan works for."

Vicky shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself for a moment. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and took a deep breath.

"I can't."

Tae seized her chin between her thumb and forefinger, forceful gray eyes penetrating past Vicky's raw fear.

"You're just tellingme, okay? Trustme. Who is it?"

Vicky licked her lips anxiously before whispering, "Jimmy L."

She watched Tae's face as the name registered, her brows raised in surprise.

"Jimmy L? You mean James Lasher?"

She nodded slowly. After a moment of stunned silence, Tae finally responded.

"Fuck."