19th Hole

I went to Hunter with my problem. To my surprise, he urged me to call Kyle. I was a hotbed of insecurity. Hunter was a Brinks truck.

It was a fun call. Kyle told me Turner had left him for someone else, but they had run their course, and it was time for one of them to leave.

He told me how they had gotten the kids, and how Turner had left them without looking back. Now, Kyle was a single father of two and again trying to find his way.

I told him about Hunter. "He's how old and plays what?" he asked.

"23 and lacrosse."

"23 and lacrosse?"

"Yeah, isn't it awesome?"

"I guess so. It seems like a lot of work. I'm raising two kids. I don't want to date one."

I ignored the verbal slap and decided to parry back. "You would if you saw him."

"I'm googling him right now. . . . Holy shit, Michael, he's hot. He's also a scion. You know that right?"

"I do."

"You're a far cry from the boot heel now."

"I know."

As the call ended, we made plans to meet in Columbia for dinner the following Friday. Kyle told me to bring Hunter along.

Hunter refused to go. "You two need to meet alone," he said. "You have unfinished business. You don't need me there."

"I want you there."

"No, you don't."

"I do."

"That's nice of you to say. But, you don't."

He was right. Even as Hunter helped me tear down the barriers I had erected over the years, there was one he could not touch, and that was the hope of Kyle. It was always lurking, as I wondered what might have been and what might yet be.

I was anxious and nervous as I left for Columbia. Hunter walked me to the car, kissed me good-bye, and whispered "come back to me" in my ear. As always, he could read my thoughts.

I sped to Columbia, excited to see Kyle. He was seated when I arrived. He stood, and we exchanged a brief but warm embrace. To my surprise, I felt nothing but the warmth of an old friend. Despite the lingering hope of what might yet be, I had moved on.

We sat and talked before ordering. As we did, I barely heard a word he said. I was thinking of Hunter and his "come back to me." I decided to do it. I apologized to Kyle and told him why I needed to leave. He responded that he was happy for me. I kissed his forehead and headed back to St. Louis and the man and the life I had finally given myself to and loved.

When I arrived home two hours earlier than Hunter expected me, our bedroom door was closed. I was suspicious, so I opened it slowly, only to find Hunter in bed, curled up in a ball. He was asleep. I climbed in behind him.

"What time is it?" he asked as he awoke.

"9:15," I answered.

"Did Kyle no show?"

"No, he was there."

"What happened? You're back too early."

"I was sitting across from him, thinking only of you, and I wanted to come back to you. So, I did, and here I am."

Hunter rolled into me. For the first time, I told him I loved him. Then, I kissed him as hard I could. I felt more barriers eroding as I did.