2. Illawarra Flame Ch. 10-12

"Sashka," she whispered to him, "do you have more for me?"

"For you Maya, I have more than I know what to do with."

CHAPTER TWELVE

Tyler felt like a million bucks. He had hardly slept the night before and his body felt lethargic, he was having trouble making his intervals and coach was yelling at him but nothing could ruin his mood. He was on cloud nine, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

All he could think about was last night. Maya was so amazing... So amazing. He had never had a night like last night before. She had called out his name, she had said 'take me Tyler,' the way it had come out was so quirky, so old fashioned, unique.

He had made her orgasm, several times, and she had made him cum, twice. Maybe to some guys that was nothing, but twice was a big deal for Tyler, he might have a big cock, but he was no porn star. With the correct stimulation it was not unknown for him to get it up a second time, but to actually cum a second time was unheard of for him. The thing was, Maya wasn't even stimulating him when he got his second wind, she was just talking, choosing a nickname for him. Maya. Sweet, sexy, Maya...

"Dude, what the hell is up with you lately? You're like a freaking rollercoaster ride," Sam said in between sets.

"What?" Tyler asked. He knew he had a big grin on his face.

"On Wednesday I thought you were going to kill someone you were so angry and now you look like you're about to pass out from delirious happiness."

Tyler just shrugged his shoulders, it wasn't his style to kiss and tell. Besides, he didn't want to tell anyone before he'd had a chance to talk with Maya about it properly. Even Sam.

"Hey, is Emma bringing Grace down to play this morning?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah. Are you going to stay?"

"Yeah, I told Maya to bring Nicholas, kid need's to learn how to swim."

Sam nodded but he looked skeptical. That look wasn't reassuring, it occurred to him that Sam might still think that he shouldn't be pursuing Maya. Fucked if Tyler was going to tell him anything and risk screwing this up, if it weren't for Sam he would have gotten together with her long ago.

Tyler was just finishing his warm down when Maya walked in with Nicholas. She looked unsure, she hesitated until she saw Emma and then she seemed to relax. He decided to put in a few more laps before going over to them, he had become conscious of Sam and Emma's presence, he wanted it to look like there was nothing going on between him and Maya. He didn't want to get into an argument with Sam about it and ruin his high.

He swam the length of the pool underwater, using dolphin kick, feeling the friction, allowing the water tell him what to do. He swam underneath the other lanes, there were only a few people left in the pool and they were just warming down too. He surfaced at the side of the pool near the shallow end where Emma had been getting Grace ready and pulled his cap and goggles off.

Maya was sitting on the cement front step of the stands, talking to Emma. She was wearing a tank top and shorts that showed off her long slender legs. As usual her shoes were discarded off to the side somewhere. Her hair was pulled back casually off that splendid neck of hers. She smiled at him and he grinned back at her. He didn't let the moment last as long as it should have, he felt self-conscious.

Nicholas recognized him and came running towards the pool, calling out his name, already dressed in a bathing suit with the Spiderman goggles Tyler had given him over his eyes.

"Hey!" Tyler said sharply holding up his hand to stop him. Nicholas stopped dead in his tracks, a look of shock on his young face.

"Walk. Slowly," Tyler instructed. He motioned for him with his hand.

Nicholas walked very slowly towards him, now hesitant and unsure of himself.

When he got to the side of the pool Tyler put his hands around Nicholas' ankles and told him in a very serious tone, "Nicholas there are two rules here." He held up a finger. "Rule number one is no running. No running, ever. Got that?" Nicholas nodded his head. Tyler held up a second finger. "Rule number two is that you don't come to the edge of the pool unless I'm here and I'm looking at you. Not Sam, not your mom, only me okay?" Nicholas nodded again. "Okay what are the rules?" Tyler asked.

"No running and only come to the edge if you're watching me," he recited.

"Okay, good. Are you ready?"

Nicholas nodded his head, he looked nervous.

Tyler lifted him under his arms and held him on his hip. He squatted down slowly into the water so that Nicholas was submerged to his armpits. His little body clung to him as if his life depended on it. He was scared.

"It's okay Kolya, I've got you, I promise I wont let you go."

He could hear the child breathing rapidly. His nails were digging into Tyler's shoulder. He stood up again so that Nicholas was out of the water and felt him relax a little.

"You don't like it?"

Nicholas shook his head and his bottom lip quivered. He was about to start crying.

"It's okay, we'll just practice blowing bubbles, okay?"

He seemed to like that idea better. Tyler grabbed his goggles and walked Nicholas over to the handicapped access steps. He put him down on the steps and they blew bubbles. Nicholas was much more relaxed when he could stand on the steps, he stuck his head under the water, he giggled and squealed when Tyler tickled him. He went down to the fourth step, where the water came up to his armpits. He was having a good time.

Tyler talked to him under the water. "Kolya, I think I'm in love with your mother," he told him. You couldn't discern any words, just a jumble of bubbles and sounds. Nicholas screamed him an equally indistinguishable reply.

Every now and then Tyler would sneak a glance over at Maya. She and Emma appeared to be deep in conversation, but he did make eye contact a few fleeting times.

They played like that for a half hour and then he needed to get out. He was cold.

Sam was still playing with Grace as Tyler returned Nicholas to Maya but Emma was there, he didn't want to talk to her in front of Emma. He stopped at the corner of the pool and watched Nicholas cross the last few yards to his mother on his own. He walked very slowly and purposefully, it was the most adorable thing Tyler had ever seen, he had taken the rules so seriously.

Maya looked up at him, the question clear on her face. He just smiled and held his hand up to her, as if he was waving, and walked into the locker room to shower and change.

When he came back out she was waiting for him, Nicholas was back in street clothes, Sam and Emma were nowhere to be seen.

He took them out for breakfast. As usual, he was starving, keeping up with his caloric requirements was a daily struggle. He could tell that Nicholas had enjoyed himself, he was being particularly affectionate. He wanted to sit beside Tyler, he wanted to order the same thing as Tyler, he wanted Tyler to cut his pancakes for him.

"What are you up to today?" He asked Maya.

"No plans. Grocery shopping, maybe we'll go to the park, nothing exciting. What about you?"

"I need to sleep for a while, then Zach is coming over for man time this afternoon."

"Man time?" She asked.

"Yeah we get together and do guy stuff."

"What sort of guy stuff?"

"Are you a guy?"

"No."

"Then I can't tell you." She didn't need to know that they played with remote controlled cars at the park. "I was wondering if Kolya wanted to come hang out with us?"

Nicholas' eyes went wide with excitement.

"For man time?" Maya asked. An amused smile played on her lips.

"Sure, he's a guy isn't he?"

"Please mommy?" Nicholas begged.

"What time?" She asked.

"Zach comes over at three."

She turned to Nicholas. "You can go if, and only if, you take a nap after lunch without complaining."

"Okay, okay, okay," he said bursting at the seams with excitement.

Zach was unimpressed with Nicholas' presence. Tyler couldn't blame him, Nicholas required almost constant attention, he felt kind of guilty about it. Zach's life was fucked up, Tyler knew that hanging out on Saturday afternoons was one of the few things that he really liked to do.

They took the RC cars to the park and stuck mostly to the deserted basketball court. Usually he and Zach raced around the bike path but he needed to keep a better eye on Nicholas than that could afford.

Tyler had given Nicholas the simplest model that he owned and after about an hour he was starting to get the hang of the remote control. That was about as much as Zach could tolerate, there were only so many burnouts and jumps you could do on a basketball court before you were bored. He wanted to go home.

Tyler wanted to make it up to him so he asked if he wanted to jam. Zach was learning guitar and sometimes they jammed together.

"Yeah okay, whatever," Zach said impatiently.

Tyler gave him his keys and told him to wait at his house while he took Nicholas back to Maya's place.

When he got back to his house he knew immediately that something was wrong. The front door was wide open. He walked in and called out to Zach... there was no response. He walked through the house.

"Zach?"

Fuck. There was a pile of a thousand splinters of rosewood and sitka spruce on the floor of his office, the broken fret board and tangled strings the only thing that distinguished it as his guitar. Shit, he must have really gone to town on it, Tyler thought. He knew Zach was fucked up, but he didn't realize it was this bad.

He called Sam and Emma's house phone. Sam picked up.

"Is Zach there?" He asked.

"No, I thought he was with you."

"He was but I've lost him."

"What do you mean you've lost him?"

"I'm coming over." He hung up.

Shit. He felt sick and shaky, he hoped Zach hadn't gone and done anything stupid. He rode his mountain bike, he didn't feel well enough to drive. Cassie ran beside him.

"What's going on?" Sam asked when Tyler walked into their house.

"Zach smashed my guitar up and then ran off."

"Why? What happened?"

"I guess he was mad at me. I took Nicholas with us to play with the remote controlled cars. I guess he was jealous."

Sam stood still, thinking. After a moment he looked at his watch.

"We'll wait," he said. "We'll give him two hours."

That was the good thing about Sam, he was good in a crisis. He stayed calm. He had the stability of a mountain. His mere presence was reassuring.

"Where's Emma?" Tyler asked.

"Asleep."

"You going to wake her up?"

"No. She'll just get stressed, better for her to be well rested before she gets upset."

"Are you sure we shouldn't be out looking for him?"

"No, but I've made the decision now and that's what we're going to do."

Tyler nodded, only too happy for Sam to take control of the situation. Sometimes he wished that he had the nerve that Sam did. "So what do we do for two hours?"

"We figure out how we're going to deal with him when he comes home. How much was the guitar worth?"

Tyler shook his head. "Doesn't matter, it was insured." It was worth over two thousand dollars, but that wasn't the point.

Sam nodded. "Maybe we should give him a figure and make him work it off? How much is the deductible on your policy?"

"I don't remember, maybe two hundred?"

"That seems reasonable, no?"

"Yeah if you think so, he's your kid."

Sam nodded. "He can cook for you. He's a good cook... Better than Emma," Sam raised his eyebrows and the corner of one side of his mouth turned up in a stupid half-smile. Tyler had known him for long enough to realize that the joke meant that Sam was done worrying about the situation.

Sam walked into the kitchen, he had obviously been in the middle of preparing dinner when Tyler had arrived. He went back to chopping vegetables.

Tyler ate from the fruit bowl.

Sam wanted to talk about swimming. He was pissed that the training camp was so close to when they had to leave for worlds this year, and that it was in Montana instead of Colorado. He also wasn't excited about having to go all the way to Australia for worlds. He was worried about Emma, is what it came down to.

Emma wasn't known for doing well with long stretches of separation from Sam, and with the pregnancy there wasn't much she could take if she fell into a depressive episode. It had been a long time since she'd had one, but it was a concern all the same. It made Tyler nervous to think about it, he could see why Sam was upset.

Tyler watched the minutes tick by on the wall cock. Sam didn't seem the least bit concerned about Zach. Tyler was worried, what if he decided to take it out on himself? What if he decided to run away? Zach had some pretty lowlife friends, what if he decided to take up with one of them? Tyler couldn't help but worry, he felt like he should be out looking for him.

After an hour Emma came down, she was dewy from sleep.

"I thought I heard your voice Gray," she said. She laid her hand on his back as she passed him on her way to the main attraction, Sam. She walked into his arms and they cuddled in the middle of the kitchen for what seemed like minutes. They were so disgustingly in love. He wondered if it would ever end with those two. After a year or two most couples love each other without being in love, but not Sam and Emma.

"Is Grace still asleep?" Sam asked her.

"Yeah, I thought I'd leave her, she had a big morning." Emma yawned and stretched her arms above her head. She had the most enormous mouth he had ever seen on a woman and fat lips to match, she would have looked stupid if not for her big dark eyes that balanced her face perfectly. Her stretching caused her shirt to ride up and reveal her swollen belly.

"Nice gut," Tyler said. It was a relief to finally be allowed to talk about it.

She turned to him and smiled. "You like?" She asked, smoothing her shirt over it so that he could see her whole belly. She was getting big. Not huge yet, but big.

"Looks good on you Em," he said.

He heard the front door open and shut. Cassie trotted down the hallway to see who it was.

It was Zach. His head bowed, his shoulders slumped. Tyler was utterly relieved to see him.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked.

Zach didn't say anything.

Sam stood behind Emma and wrapped his arms around her. "Zach?" He prompted.

"I'm sorry Tyler." Zach's voice hadn't broken yet and he sounded particularly child-like in his apology.

"It's okay dude," Tyler said.

Sam cut in. "It's not really okay Zach, you can't smash other people's stuff up, you'll get yourself in trouble that way."

Zach nodded, he was still looking at the floor.

Emma looked at Tyler in question. "What's going on?"

"Zach broke my guitar."

"It was an accident, right?" She asked.

Tyler shook his head.

"I'm sorry." Zach's voice cracked with emotion, he used the back of his hand to wipe at his eyes.

Tyler's heart broke for the poor kid, he wanted to go to him and comfort him, but this was Sam's show, he should let him run it.

"You're going to pay for it Zach. You are going to cook for Gray. Twenty meals, whatever he wants."

Zach looked up for the first time. His eyes were red and swollen, but there was hope behind them. Hope for redemption.

Tyler saw what Sam had done. Instead of treating it as a huge catastrophe and driving them further apart he had given Zach the chance to make it up to him in a personal way, by doing something that he was good at. It would allow Tyler the opportunity to praise him, to mend things.

It was times like these that Tyler knew he would never be as good a parent as Sam. If he were in charge he probably would have woken Emma up and been out looking for him frantically, stressing her out, and if he'd found him, then what? It would have blown the whole episode into something that was too big to handle. Sam had let Zach come to terms with what he'd done on his own and let him come home to face the music of his own volition, letting him keep that small slice of pride in tact.

Tyler thought a lot about how Sam had handed that situation over the next couple of days. How had he known what to do? How had he made the decision to wait, and not let his fears over ride it? How had he known to choose a punishment that was actually an opportunity to heal? Tyler didn't have the answers to these questions, leading him to the conclusion that he already knew in his heart: He wasn't ready to be a father. The responsibility was too great, the stakes too high.

He adored being Uncle Tyler, but the thought of being dad scared the shit out of him.

He didn't know what to do about Nicholas and Maya.

He knew he was in love with Maya. His every thought led back to her, his body craved her, he couldn't escape the euphoric haze that had enveloped him. But Nicholas was always there, watching, wanting and needing more from him than he was willing to offer.

He couldn't not be with Maya, but he set himself some ground rules when it came to Nicholas. He wouldn't touch her if Nicholas was in the room, he'd spend as little extra time as possible with him and he would always leave her house before Nicholas woke up. It wouldn't be that difficult given his training schedule, except on Sundays.

That Sunday he wanted nothing more than to sleep in with her, to cuddle with her and make love to her slowly as the sun came up, but he left. He made an excuse and he left.

If Maya noticed that there was something wrong she didn't say anything. She was doe eyed and perfect. She called him Sasha when they were alone, when they were being intimate, it made his heart swell to hear that name in her sweet voice.

On Sunday he went to the mall and bought her lingerie, which she wore under her work clothes. He loved it that she was wearing his gifts and that nobody else knew. It was a huge turn-on.

He was extremely careful not to let anything on at work. She was an excellent actor, he was sure nobody at the office suspected, but he was starting to be able to read her better. He saw shifts in her eyes and changes in her posture that let him know what she was really thinking.

It went on like that all week. He would steal glances at her throughout the day at work, then in the evenings he would do his second workout, eat the dinner Zach had cooked for him and go over to her house and make love to her. He'd strip off her clothes to admire how her body brought his lingerie gifts to life, before peeling them too back and worshiping her, loving her as fully as he could.

They would talk long into the night and then make love a second time before slipping into a contented slumber for a few hours before he had to get up to go to swimming training. He had learned a lot about her in that week and every little piece of information made him love her more.

She had one sister, an adrenaline junkie named Julia who was younger than her by a year and who she adored. She grew up in Worchester, Massachusetts and she'd started dancing when she was four years old. Her paternal grandmother was Native American. She had gotten her business degree at night school while she was dancing full time during the day. She liked her shower water scalding hot.

She was shy about sex, it was so charming to watch her blush when she touched his cock. She was also shy about her parenting skills, she felt guilty about putting Nicholas in day care, she felt like she should spend more time with him. Tyler hadn't thought it possible, but that week he learned that she was even more beautiful on the inside than she was on the outside.

But Nicholas... he didn't know what to do about Nicholas. All he could think to do was to keep his distance.

He had to go away to Montana for two weeks for a training camp the next Sunday. He had long since stopped getting excited for these training camps, but this time he felt that it was a blessing in disguise. He was so tired. He hadn't slept longer than four hours straight since he'd started staying at Maya's place over a week ago.