2012@Post Presidential Hi-Jinks

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A satirical look at the current Presidential race.
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A personal involuntary conversation with a presidential hopeful candidate and a female News journalist.

The conversation was recorded on hidden video as well as hidden audio recordings.

The female News journalist confronts the 2012 presidential candidate about questionable behavior regarding past and presents allegations about his improprieties, relevant & substantiated unwanted sexual aggression, past & present towards eight former & present female employees.

The female News journalist & presidential hopeful candidate meet in an after-hours bar & grill in a western state suburb.

The female News journalist, knowing the presidential hopeful candidate intermittently visits the bar & grill hoped for a chance meeting & involuntary in-depth interview waited at the bar.

The female News journalist, being very attractive & wearing a mini skirt suit & stiletto heels with her legs crossed sitting on a barstool nursing her drink.

Presidential hopeful candidate arrived and approached the female News journalist from behind and whispered in her ear saying, " you look good enough to eat right now"

The female News journalist turned around and said, "excuse me sir, what did you say"?

Presidential hopeful candidate

With a big Erie smile,

Oh, I was complementing your suit, I was giving you a complement.

Female News journalist

Well, thank you sir.

Presidential hopeful candidate

Stares at the Female News journalist up and down with bedroom eyes, smiling.

Can I buy you a drink?

Female News journalist

No sir, thank you, as you can see, I already have one

Presidential hopeful candidate

Very slowly reaches and sticks his pinky finger into her drink.

He then sticks his pinky finger into his mouth and slowly pushes his pinky finger in and out of his mouth while gazing at her reaction.

The bartender

Approaching the couple and said, " what will you have"?

Presidential hopeful candidate

Ill have what she is drinking

Female News journalist

Sir, you presuming something that will never happen or do you exhibit this kind of behavior with everyone?

Presidential hopeful candidate

You know, you can be a bit more friendly,

I saw you sitting here by yourself, all alone,

IM just trying to be friendly that's all.

Female News journalist

Ok friend, how's your campaign going?

Any bumps in the road?

Presidential hopeful candidate

Who are you anyway?

Female News journalist

Just a friend and a fan,

Your critics are very cruel, aren't they?

Is it true what they are saying about you?

Presidential hopeful candidate

Hell no, its not true!

I run an honest & transparent campaign.

I want to give jobs to all my friends & cronies, all around the country, smiling, maybe I can give you a job too.

Female News journalist

Thank you sir, but I already have a job,

By the way, there are rumors that there are naked pictures of you.

Presidential hopeful candidate

Naked pictures!

Of me, where?

Female News journalist

She takes out her I-pad and show him color photos

Sir, have you ever seen these photos

Presidential hopeful candidate

What's that?

That looks like.

Female News journalist

Yes sir that's a photo of buttocks with a bulls-eye on the right cheek and a bar code on the left cheek.

Is that photo of you, sir?

Presidential hopeful candidate

Nervously looking around,

Where did you get these pictures?

Hell, that can be a picture of anybody's butt,

What are you trying to do?

Female News journalist

Still holding the I-pad in her lap, she shows him another photo.

Presidential hopeful candidate

Hey, those looks like who the hell are you anyway?

Female News journalist

Do you recognize this photo sir?

The photo of this penis with the tattoo named en-Ricky?

Presidential hopeful candidate

Hey, hey, that can be a picture of anybody's penis

Are you trying to blackmail me or something?

Female News journalist

No sir, just attempting to get to the truth,

She shows him another photo with a full frontal view exposing his face and of this penis with the tattoo named en-Ricky?

She then shows another photo rear view of his buttocks with a bulls-eye on the right cheek and a bar code on the left cheek.

Presidential hopeful candidate

Who took theses pictures,

Nobody was supposed to know about that night!

Damn Pundits, is that's who you are?

Female News journalist

Yes sir,

IM am a News journalist

Presidential hopeful candidate

You're trying to trap me!

Sitting here with your leg's & perfume!,

You're trying to wreck my presidential candidacy career aren't you!

Tell you what,

IM going to sue whoever took those dirty little pictures.

IM just going to deny them anyway, so go ahead and report the story, it wont stop me from being president.

My 6999 plan is going to change this country forever, just like my friends planned!

Female News journalist

Well sir, do have anything further to say?

Presidential hopeful candidate

Mumbling under his breath in pure anger,

If we were not siting in this bar, I would get something out of this ill tell you!

Why don't you try & frame some of those other fools in the race, you got one fool putting on religious ads everyday all over the airwaves, you got another fool who spends $500,000.00 of money he don't have on jewelry at tiffanies for his plastic face wife. You have another fool who talks like a card carrying grand wizard minus the white sheet squealing on everybody.

Female News journalist

Sir, what do you mean?

Presidential hopeful candidate

Still Mumbling under his breath in pure anger,

He walks away smartly and leaves bar & grill.

This next presidential race of 2012 seems like a real three-ring circus,

You have Religious ads on TV and radio,

You have a womanizing phony,

You have a crooked card carrying grand wizard.

You have a senile candidate, who wants to give soma to the children of America,

You have another crooked candidate, who borrows hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay tiffanies for jewels for his plastic face wife,

You have Supreme Court justice's who are bought and paid for by multinational corporations.

You have a do nothing congress just waiting to fix the next presidential election with their next propped up puppet, crony phony president.

In this next presidential election, especially, we must be extremely & extra vigilant to vote for causes we all feel passionately about.

Jobs for all,

Health-care for all,

Reasonable conservation of the United States as well as the rest of the world,

Keeping pensions & 401Ks intact,

Curbing governmental corruption,

Housing,

Food,

Wars,

Security,

The list goes on and on, and on.

Written by,

Everett C Borders Jr. Ph.D.

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The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
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3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Misguided and Heavy-Handed

This "story" should actually have been two separate attempts. The first could have been a great satire concerning the alleged womanizing presidential candidate (we all know who) and a glory-hound female newscaster who will do anything to get a scoop. The second, then, would be an essay on the upcoming presidential primaries and your opinions on each potential candidate. Combining the two into what appeared here was misguided and heavy-handed--I came into what I thought would be an interesting story and ended up with a subjective rant that went nowhere. Not fair.

psychoticflyingmonkeypsychoticflyingmonkeyover 12 years ago
miscategorized?

perhaps this should have been in "reviews and essays".

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Needs some work

Give your characters names, "female News journalist" over and over gets kinda old and cumbersome as does "Presidential hopeful candidate". Also, your story doesn't flow. It reads more like a series of bullet points than a story.

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