30 - No One Will Ever Love You

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History, dyslexia, and a hooker. What more could you want?
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Hi again, it seems like I say this every time but this is a little bit of a weird one. To be honest, it started out a love triangle, but when I put the characters together they decided to take the story in a different direction.

This story features dyslexia rather heavily. I want to make it clear that I really don't know much about living with dyslexia beyond some light research. I have nothing but respect for people who succeed with it while struggling through our text based world.

Disclaimer: All characters who engage in slap and tickle are at least eighteen years old.

All rights reserved.

Chapter 1

You know when your kid rescues a pet, and the confused feeling that you experience when it happens? You're proud that your child is showing compassion and character, but on the other hand, there is little doubt that the person who will be taking the time to care for the pet is you.

If so, you might understand what I was feeling right in that moment. Was someone rescuing an animal, you ask? No. My roommate was adopting a hooker.

OK, take a step back before you get worked up. The poor girl looked starved and abused, and I felt for her too. It's just that I had been through this with Mel before, if not with a person. I spend a Saturday every now and then taking her two dogs to the vet. Every morning before I leave, I check the cat litter and fill up three food bowls. And I do it because Mel doesn't.

So, I met Mel a year before, while looking for a roommate for my house. As an adjunct professor of history at the local university, I wasn't exactly rolling in cash. Of course, that's the great thing about history, it gives you perspective. I may be short of cash but I'm still a hell of a lot better off than a pre-Soviet Russian serf.

It's a nice enough two bedroom house, even if it is in a fairly frightening part of town, but I had a very tough time finding a tenant. In the end, Mel was my best choice even though I would not typically have considered the possibility of rooming with someone like her. When she walked into the house, tall and slender with swimsuit model curves and supermodel looks, I was barely able to speak to her coherently.

Mel was a graduate student in philosophy - of all things - and instantly seemed to warm to the place. Blond haired and blue eyed, she reminded me of one of those Swedish women who become famous without any perceptible talent except outrageously good looks. However, she was warm and friendly from the start. I guessed that she was three or four years younger than my twenty-eight.

We became friends instantly. Maybe our moneyless-ness was our common bond, I really don't know. Either way, we would have dinner together in front of the TV a couple of nights a week. The rest of the time, she was out about town and I was working. I didn't intend to keep my adjunct status for long.

Mel had the biggest heart that I had ever come across, even if paired with a less than exceptional sense of responsibility. I learned about that side of her when I found her rescued cat meowing pitifully in front of an empty food bowl. Before long, I had become the caretaker.

It doesn't sound like a fair exchange, but that's not fully accurate. We just had an interesting relationship. You see, I'm a little bit of an introvert and I get nervous around women, especially of the beautiful kind. At twenty-eight, I had never had a real relationship and had been on few dates of any kind.

Of course, I was in love with Mel. Sort of. You could say that I loved her like a sister, but that wouldn't be quite right. I would describe it by saying that I loved her like a cousin. We were family, and we were close, but I still wanted her. If only circumstances were just a little different, she could have been my girlfriend, but even so she was totally untouchable.

I learned a lot about women (and my emotions) from Mel. My increased self-confidence may not have been drastic, but it seemed significant to me. For her part, Mel seemed to calm down a little. This was confirmed for me when some of Mel's friends visited. They discussed how much less frantic she seemed than before she moved in.

Over the course of the year, Mel acquired the three pets. I acquired the responsibility for them.

*****

So there we were, driving through a neighborhood even worse than ours, when we stopped on the side of the street to look up the directions to the theater. That's when the girl approached the driver's side. She spoke through the open window.

"You... you looking for a party, mister?" Her voice was low and nervous.

Mel was the one who responded to her, leaning over me to look out the window. The prostitute, I didn't know her name, was a little on the tall side. I honestly don't remember what Mel said to the girl, but the long term effect was that the two of them ended up in the back seat whispering to each other while the girl cried. (I mean, honestly, I would really like to know what she told a bitter prostitute in ten seconds to make her trust Mel like that. It's incredible, the effect she has.)

Mel pulled the girl into a long hug before telling me to drive home. I could only guess that the prostitute had just been adopted. I was in too much shock to notice any more details about her.

Chapter 2

When we got back to the house, the theater forgotten, Mel dragged the girl into the bathroom. Having the evening free, I decided to play with Mel's dogs, for lack of anything better to do. And besides, they had been acting a little neglected recently. I spent the next hour in the backyard - it is not a big one - throwing a ball for them. In the past year, I had learned enough to know that I was not wanted in the house.

After a couple of hours, the dogs and I were exhausted, although I think that Sheppy, the golden shepherd, would have played ball until he literally died of exhaustion (if given the choice). Mel came out once during that time to talk to me. She looked hesitant.

"Ray, do you mind me doing this? It's just that... that... she just needed help so much! And she didn't want to be doing what she was doing. I still don't know how or why she ended up there, it seems like she's really smart." Mel's voice had been rising and her eyes had started to flash, like they always did when she worked herself up.

"But," She was more restrained as she continued, "I know you... I mean, I know that I don't take responsibility very well. You always take such good care of my pets." She was starting to cry a little, whether it was over the girl or not being able to take care of her pets, I don't know.

Not knowing what to do - I never knew what to do around Mel - I pulled her into a hug.

"Mel, you did a good thing. I thought she needed help too, but I didn't know how to give it. Please have her sleep in my room."

"No, I can't..."

"I insist. I'll be fine on the couch."

"OK." Mel gave me a weak smile, before heading back into the house. Ten minutes later, I entered as well. It was starting to get late.

I realized when I entered the house that there were things that I needed in my room, including my medication. The door was slightly open, so I crept in as quietly as I could, afraid to wake that poor girl.

"Ray?" It was a sleepy voice from the bed.

"Sorry, just getting my medication. Then I'll be out of your hair."

"It's fine... Thank you so much for everything."

"Happy to be there to help... but, umm... so, what's your name?"

She gave a little laugh. "You want to know the name of the girl sleeping in your bed?"

"Yeah."

"It's Cassandra."

"OK. Good night, Cassie."

"Good night."

As I walked out, the one thing that struck me as weird was the fact that she had not changed the sheets before climbing into the bed. Shouldn't Mel have thought of that?

I headed into the bathroom to get ready, and came out naked, assuming everyone was asleep. I always sleep nude, it's this weird habit that I got into that I've been unable to break, so even on the couch I was au naturel. At least there was a sheet covering me. Sexually, I think it might have been the only daring thing I ever did... if you could even call it daring.

I fell asleep quickly, like I usually do, naming Napoleon's marshals in my head. It's the historian's equivalent to counting sheep. Murat... Soult... Ney...

Chapter 3

I woke to the sensation of Mel shaking my shoulder violently.

"Ray, you've got to get up. You're going to be late."

... Groan...

"Ray, get up!"

... Groan... (I am never easy to wake up.)

"Dammit, Ray, get up! You're naked!"

That woke me up. I began to sit up slowly.

Oh, I was in the living room, and the sheet was on the floor. Why had I overslept? Wait, where was my alarm?

In my room, now being occupied by a hooker. That's right.

Mel was still standing in front of me with a towel wrapped around her. God, she was magnificent! I looked down at myself, before grabbing the sheet.

"Sorry for the display." My senses were starting to come back and I had to blush. My impossible crush, the woman I thought I loved, had been staring at me naked for minutes.

"Don't apologize, Ray. You're the one who gave up your room. That was so nice. Now, I'm going back to finish getting ready. You can go into your room to get clothes, the sight of you naked is not going to kill Cassandra." That was a weird thing for her to tell me, but Mel could be cryptic sometimes.

She walked back to the bathroom and shut the door; yesterday's clothes were in there. Damn. I should have thought about this before and brought clothes to the couch with me. Evidently I'm not the tactician Hannibal was (although I'm not aware of him having dealt with this particular situation).

So I bit the bullet, and walked into my room to grab clothes. Luckily, Cassie was still asleep. I searched through the drawers and found clothes for work, plus shorts to wear until I could shower.

When I turned around, she was sitting up in the bed staring at me. Two women examining me naked on one day... I don't like being broken out of my routine, and apparently I make bad decisions when it happens. I quickly pulled the shorts on.

"Sorry about that, Cassandra."

"It's your room... and please, call me Cassie." I couldn't read the tone of her voice.

"Is that what most people call you?"

"No, but I like you calling me it."

"OK. Well, good morning. I need to run, but there's food in the fridge so feel free to eat whatever. There's also the TV and plenty of books." I was rushing nervously through the words.

She had an uncomfortable look on her face. This was the first time that I had gotten a good look at her, even if it was impossible to see anything about her figure. She had dark hair, messy at the moment, and soft brown eyes. Her features were a little sharp, probably due to how skinny she was, but she was very youthful and pretty.

"I wish one of us could stay with you, but I have to get to class. Call me if you need anything at all, the number's on the fridge."

With that, I fled the room and slipped into the bathroom just as Mel was leaving it. The house is small, so a shared bathroom is part of the deal. By the time that I left, Mel was gone and Cassie had yet to emerge.

Chapter 4

I worked very long days for the rest of the week, barely seeing Cassie or Mel. It's not that I was avoiding going home, I just didn't feel a need to rush back to the new situation. And also, I was legitimately making a push to finish an article that I was writing for one of the journals.

On the walks back home, my mind wandered and I would become concerned. Neither Mel nor I made much. We did alright by being careful and sharing the rent, but having another person to take care of... it was going to be a strain. Knowing her, Mel wasn't likely to think it through very carefully, so I needed to find a solution.

The next time that I really talked to Cassie was on Saturday. As far as I knew, Mel had gone out Friday night and was not back yet. I can't say it was particularly alarming, she just did that every once in a while. Occasionally, it would be for a few days. I think that sometimes things just overwhelmed her and she had to get away from them.

Cassie was in the kitchen frowning at the microwave. It looked like she was trying to rustle up some breakfast.

"Morning, Cassie. Having difficulty?"

"Yeah. I don't know how to use this one, it's different than my old one." She sounded uncomfortable.

"That's alright, you just put in the time and push start."

"OK." The frown didn't leave her face and she didn't move to press a button.

"I can show you." I pressed 1... 0... 0... 'START'.

"OK, that was easy. How long did you set it for?"

"A minute."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

I found what I was looking for, the remains of some sort of protein shake, and took a few drinks. She sat down at the table. I started to leave the room.

"You're not having breakfast?" The frown was back a little.

I smiled at her. "Nope, spending time naked in front of two beautiful women has made me question my commitment to fitness. I'm going for a run."

"Can I come with you?" She replied.

"Sure. You've got running shoes?"

"Nope." That frown again.

"Do you like to run?"

Finally a smile. "Yeah! I was really good at in high school." I could hear her voice perk up immediately.

"Well, we can go to a store and get you some running shoes."

"OK!" More hesitation, "... umm... would you mind if we bought some clothes too?"

"Didn't Mel do that?" I regretted my tone immediately.

Cassie's reply voice remained even. "She got really frustrated with me when we went shopping, so we didn't get much."

"OK, that's fine. I was hoping to take the day off anyway. Now I have an excuse. Just let me finish this run while you eat, and after I shower we can go."

Once I was done showering and pitying my aching body (I think I know what the original Greek Marathon runner felt like), I realized that I hadn't left myself an exit strategy. My clothes were in the bedroom again. I wrapped the towel around me and headed towards the room. When I knocked on the door, I could hear Cassie call to tell me to come in.

When I entered the room, I was surprised to see her standing to one side bending over to grab something. She was in her underwear. I originally thought that she was really skinny, and she definitely was, but I no longer thought she was outrageously malnourished. Cassie just had a very slight build, with a tiny waist and only slightly widened hips. She looked to be an A cup bra size.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to... I just..." I stuttered to a stop. My lack of relationships had not prepared me for this.

"Don't worry about it."

I had my eyes averted by now, but I headed back over towards my drawers. By the time I had selected my clothes and turned around, she was dressed.

"I'll leave to let you change, Ray."

"OK, we can go after that." My voice was quiet enough, I don't know how she heard me.

******

We drove to a Walmart (what my budget could afford) and bought her a pair of running shoes and some clothes. The whole experience was surreal. When we entered the store, Cassie stood looking blankly at the sign that showed directions to different departments. When I headed in the right direction, she followed me.

Once we found the area with shoes, it definitely became more perplexing. She didn't seem to know which part of the shoe section to go to, and once I pointed out the women's section, she seemed unable to find the running shoes. I asked Cassie what size she was and she told me that she didn't know. Once we measured her feet (she was a 6), Cassie was unable to find any running shoes in that size, even though it was a common size. She was looking right at one pair but didn't seem to see it.

Fortunately, they fit. After that, we headed towards the clothes area. This time, I tried to subtly direct her to the right sections. I didn't have an extensive knowledge of learning disabilities, but even so, I had a pretty good idea what was happening. When she started looking, it became quickly obvious that she would need my help. We spent quite a while determining her size and picking out clothes that would fit. She found a few items that she said she liked after coming out of the dressing room. I even had to help her find the right underwear. I found that process to be uncomfortably arousing, especially after her seeing her that morning. There was no doubt that she was attractive. It did not make me feel better about myself.

When we got home, we found a spotless house. Mel had returned, and as was sometimes the case, she had come back with an excess of manic energy to work out. The dishes were done, carpets vacuumed, sheets washed, and every other thing you could think of completed. She had even made some dinner, which was waiting on the table.

I found her standing in the kitchen with a slightly crazed grin on her face, lightly covered in sweat. Caution was needed here.

My voice was essentially the same an animal trainer uses to calm a wild animal. "Mel, thanks for cleaning everything. How are you doing?"

"OK, Ray, I think I'm going to scrub the tub."

I put my hand on her arm, gently.

"Mel, could you do me a favor instead? Go take a shower and change, then come back and eat with us. I think Cassie and I would like that. OK?"

She looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. "OK."

A moment later, she was gone, and when I turned I found Cassie standing next to me. Her eyes were wide.

"Don't worry about it, Cassie. She gets a little over-excited sometimes. If she allows herself to keep running around then she burns out and gets really depressed. I think we caught it early, so she should be alright this evening."

After that, dinner was nice. Cassie and Mel were both in pleasant moods. They even put up with my discussion on my work for the History department. It was nice of them. (For some reason beautiful women rarely find the Vandal invasion of ancient Africa to be particularly fascinating.) I was feeling a little down, but it was due to the conversation that I was planning with Cassie.

After dinner, I pulled Mel aside and told her my suspicions. I asked her to join me when I talked to Cassie, because I assumed that she would turn to Mel for comforting. Mel, of course, agreed to help immediately.

We sat down on the couch, with Cassie in between the two of us. I had little enough experience with women, not to mention discussing extremely painful topics, to actually know how to go about it. I reasoned that my best choice was to be as gentle and supportive as possible, but not to beat around the bush. Tentatively, I placed my hand on Cassie's.

"Cassie, I have a question I need to ask... umm..." This wasn't easy.

I continued, "I don't know how to say this, but you don't know how to read, do you?" Followed quickly by, "It's alright if you don't. We really want to help you."

She was visible quivering, but at least she didn't try to run away. It was going better than I expected to. Everyone was still here, nobody was bleeding, it could definitely be worse. Mel spoke up.

"Sweetie, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I have problems of my own, but being honest with myself and Ray has helped me with a lot of them."

I took up the thread. "Cassie, it's not as easy for some people to learn as it is for others. We will help you."

Neither of us knew what to say to Cassie, who was staring at her hands while she shook lightly. Finally, Mel wrapped her arms around the girl to try to comfort her. To both of our surprise, Cassie seemed to wake up when that happened. Breaking free from Mel's grasp, Cassie threw herself onto my lap where she curled up in a ball. Leaning against my chest, I could feel her sobbing.

Honestly, I didn't know what to do besides wrap my arms around her and wait. When Mel saw the quizzical look I shot her, she just shrugged as if to say: "Beats me!"