4th Step Pt. 02: Cougar

Hello. My name is Timothy. I am a sexual addict. I am engaging in my fourth step in recovery: A searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.

True to my word, I didn't talk to any girls for a couple of years. I went back to masturbating two or three times a day while imagining any number of wild scenarios. One week, I would look at Asian girls, the next week would be pregnant women, the week after that I'd be watching voyeurism/window peeping movies. Fantasy seemed so much better than reality.

After graduating high school, I went to community college. I was taking some of the standard courses as well as some computer classes. I liked the computer-based classes. It got easy to know the other students there because we usually shared a lot of the same curriculums.

I lost a good amount of weight by the time I reached 20. Looking back at old pictures of myself, I was pretty much in the best shape I've ever been in. It was a few months after I had turned 20 that this chapter in my life took place.

I found myself on the computer next to Carrie again. Carrie was in her mid-40s and going back to school to update her work skills. She liked to sit next to me because I was usually able to answer whatever questions she had during class and lab periods. I liked it when she sat next to me because she had very nice and full breasts that were usually barely covered by loose tops.

Today was no exception. She had a white sweater with a very open neckline. Every time she was concentrating on her screen and bent forward, I was looking down the front of her shirt. Nothing lacy today, just a standard bra, but always a magnificent view of the Alps.

I think she caught me looking a few times in the past. I wasn't sure at the time because she didn't mention it or make an attempt to cover up. Usually when I get caught looking down their shirts, girls cross their arms or make some other gesture to cover their cleavage. But Carrie just kept bending forward as if she didn't notice me looking at all.

After class, we both stayed for open lab to work on our projects. I had most of mine done already. I spent about an hour with Carrie on her project. At the end of lab we were walking to our cars together. When we reached the lot we were both parked she said she wanted to ask me for a big favor.

"Sure." I said

"Would you be able to come over to my place after class tomorrow and help me finish this project? You're the only one that can help me and I just can't seem to get this."

I thought for a moment about the annoyance of having to go somewhere and do this work. However, my only plans for then involved playing video games. I agreed to help her and she gave me her phone number and address.

That night I jerked off thinking about her. I put a scenario in my head that I would help her on the computer and "accidentally" rub my elbow across her tits while using her mouse. I'd apologize, and she'd say it was OK. And I would rub her tits again. She would moan, I would grab both boobs, we'd tear off our clothes and screw on the floor.

She had a nice body for an older woman. Carrie also had large, blue eyes. She didn't have children and was divorced. I would never describe her as fat; she just had a little bit of extra all around. And my favorite part... beautiful full D cup tits.

The next day as I drove to her place from school I was still horny about her. I was seriously thinking about how to perform the first part of the scenario where I could "accidentally" rub my arm across her tits. I rationalized that this was going to be my reward for my generosity of helping her out.

I arrived at a group of condominiums and found her house number. She answered the door wearing a long red skirt and another loose low v-neck t-shirt which presented her cleavage perfectly. She greeted me warmly and led me into her main living room. There was a TV on one side with a couch on the other. Next to the TV was a computer setup which I assumed we would spend the bulk of our time. I noticed a digital clock flashing 12:00 next to the computer. Only four minutes off. Not bad for an unset clock.

She asked me if I wanted anything to drink. I just said "water." She then told me to have a seat on the couch while she got it ready. I sat down and took a look over at the computer station. I was trying to gauge what would be the best way to sit next to her to make my groping seem less obvious. If nothing else, I was going to get some kind of titty action today.

Carrie came back with the water, stood in front of me and leaned forward to set the glass down on the little table next to me. Those magnificent tits were suddenly inches away from my eyes. Her shirt was fully exposing both mounds to me. She was wearing a lacy black bra with thin straps. The whole time she was fumbling with a coaster on the table and extending the time I had to stare at her beauty.

"There we go." She had finished her placement of the coaster and the glass. I looked up so that she wouldn't catch me staring down her shirt again. Too late. She was staring at me with those bright blue eyes and a coy smile.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... umm."

"It's OK." She gave me a little chuckle and smile. She then sat down on the couch right next to me. More than next to me, she was halfway on top of me. The whole side of her body was in contact with mine with the position she took. "I have a confession to make."

I turned to look at her with the question "what is it?" on my face.

She leaned in close and said, "I like the way you look at me."

I didn't know what to say or do. The only thing I could do was blurt out the truth. "I think you have the most beautiful tits. I've wanted to feel them all year."

She chuckled again and then sat up straight. She pushed her chest out and said, "OK. Feel away."

I reached out with both hands and took a breast in each one. Carrie closed her eyes as I massaged her chest. I could feel the bumps of her nipples poking through her shirt. I encircled them with my thumbs and felt them get stiffer. I tugged on one of them gently trying to get them to poke out a bit more.

"Here let me help you." Carrie reached down and lifted off her shirt. She didn't waste time reaching around her back to unhook her lacy black bra. Before I knew it, there they were in all of their glory. Her nipples were light pink and perfectly circular. There was some sag, but they still looked fantastic.

Carrie let me look at them for a few seconds before saying, "Come here baby. Suck on my tits." She extended her hands behind my head and pulled me forward. I started with her left breast. I suckled, licked, flicked, fondled, teased, pinched... everything I ever wanted to do with a breast. I didn't play favorites. I moved my mouth back and forth as I saw fit. I used my opposite hand to tweak the other nipple I wasn't sucking. I had switched back and forth twice on each breast when she slipped her hands under my chin and guided my face upwards.

She planted her lips on mine and kissed me forcefully. It was the first time I ever kissed someone. I followed her lead and opened my mouth wider. Full open mouth kissing came natural to me and I was able to take the lead as we continued to make out. She was running her fingers through my hair with one hand while her other hand was under my shirt trying to pull it up. We separated long enough for me to pull my shirt off. When we reconnected she wrapped both arms around my body and she slipped her tongue into my mouth.

I let my hands go back to fondling her nipples. She kept a constant rhythm with her hands running up and down my back. Our tongues playfully clashed back and forth in our mouths. I explored more of her body with my hands. Every part of her was squishy and warm. I wanted to kneed her body like bread dough, but I kept it to gentle caresses.

She pulled back from the kiss and went in for a hug. We held each other tight for a few moments. I could feel my heart jumping out of my chest. I wondered if she could feel it too.

Carrie whispered in my ear, "I want you inside of me. Now."

I stood up and quickly finished disrobing. The only thing missing was a cartoonish "BOING" sound as my erection jumped out of my underwear. Carrie pulled off her skirt but left her panties on. She slouched back on the couch with her legs still hanging over. I reached down and pulled her panties off. Her pubic hair was dirty blonde/brownish just like her normal hair color. Again, every inch of her was doughy but not flabby. I was also relieved that she did not have any distinctive odor like Mari did.

She turned sideways to lay completely on the couch with her legs spread open. I set myself in position over her. It took a few seconds to get a comfortable grip on the couch where I wasn't awkwardly pushing on her. Carrie grabbed my raging dick and guided it inside of her.

Her vagina was moist and gripped me very friendly. Carrie put her arms around my back again and tried to pull me in. I lost my grip on the couch and fell completely on top of her. After apologizing and shifting around, she suggested we go to the bedroom.

I pulled out of her and helped her get off of the couch. We went into her bedroom and directly to her bed. In no time at all, we were back in the position we left off at on the couch. This time I was able to lay my body closer to hers. She was very affectionate with her hugging and caresses. We exchanged kisses whenever our faces got close. This was my first time on top and I was moving very slowly. I enjoyed the feeling of being inside of her. Every fold, ridge and wrinkle inside of her vagina felt like magic on my cock.

I didn't just fuck Carrie that day. I made love to every inch of her body. Despite our age difference, I wanted this encounter. It was even better than I had ever imagined it.

We rolled around and exchanged the top position several times. I had slowly started to raise my tempo when it was my turn on top. Finally, I felt my ejaculation coming. She must have sensed it too, because she grabbed the back of my head and pulled our foreheads together. She stared directly into my eyes and said, "Come inside of me. I want it inside of me." I blew my load. It felt heavy and voluminous. Usually, my dick only gets about 2 minutes of jerking before shooting off. We had been embraced in sex for at least two hours.

Her vagina was now complete mush. I was still inside of her. We kissed and held each other tightly. It was about five minutes later I realized that my dick was still hard. I didn't have any more stamina to screw. My legs, arms and ass were screaming in pain. I just slowly moved it back and forth every now and then. I felt the gooey mess inside spread around.

We rolled around on the bed again, but this time I sat up with Carrie still on top so that we were facing each other. I went back to sucking on her breasts as she ran her fingers through my hair. She slowly moved her hips from side to side. We stayed like that for another hour. Every now and then I'd kiss and smell her neck or she would bend down to kiss me. At the end of that hour I came again.

It was getting close to dinnertime and I had to get home. We finally separated our groins and I went back into the living room to get dressed. She was still naked when she walked me to the door. We had another extended kiss before I went to open the door.

"Can you come over again tomorrow? I still need to get that project looked at."

I wasn't doing anything the next day so I agreed to it instantly. Hell. It was almost guaranteed for another sex session at some point during the day.

I drove home and immediately showered off. I told my parents I was too tired for dinner and went to sleep after the shower.

The next day I went back to Carrie's place. We immediately went into the bedroom. I came three times that day. No mention of the computer. She asked if I could stop by the next night, she would make me dinner. I came for dinner and came twice inside of her.

She didn't ask me to come over after that. At school she still sat next to me, but pretended like we were just friends and we still had that old relationship before we were intimate. However, she still purposefully gave me great downblouse views; and we both knew I was staring blatantly. I asked her if we were going to get together again sometime. She said she wanted to but her schedule was really busy, and work never got done when we were together. I had to agree with her on that point.

It was almost a month later when she finally said that she had some free time and invited me over. For the next four days we made love constantly. We both skipped school and she called out from work.

She taught me every part of the vagina. How to please orally and digitally. How to thrust in a way that she felt the most pleasure. She loved how much attention I gave her breasts. We found a good middle ground so that I wasn't making her nipples too sore afterwards.

We never talked about each other though. To this day, I couldn't tell you the first thing about her personal life. All we had was an incredibly open and explorative sexual relationship.

After those four days she was always busy again. Soon the semester ended. I wanted to call her number, but I never did. We didn't have any mutual classes after that. I knew she was still there, but we never really saw each other again except in passing.

Years later I found myself talking to an old friend from college. He asked me if I heard the gossip about Carrie. I said that I didn't. He told me that she had an affair with one of the other guys from our classes. Apparently she was trying to get pregnant, but found out that she wasn't able to carry. So she eventually adopted two children.

I prefer to believe that she truly had the same feelings for me that I did for her. Not that she was testing me to see if I had viable sperm.

But, what do I know?