500 Annies Ch. 04

Guys, you'll understand this analogy best.

Suppose I decided to write the most definitive auto repair manual in the world. It should be easy, right? After all, they all need fuel, oil, batteries, spark plugs, etc. But what will work on a four cylinder Ford engine won't meet the needs of a twelve cylinder Jaguar, nowhere close.

Women are like that, they're like snowflakes, no one is exactly like another.

But one thing I can say for sure, I can tell you what each and every woman in the audience is thinking right this minute."

He paused for dramatic effect.

"They're thinking "this guy is an idiot, there is no way he can know what's going through my mind'."

There was appreciative laughter.

"And they're right, there is no way me or anyone else can predict their responses at any given time to any situation. If we know them well, we may have a small inkling, but even that isn't certain.

But I can tell you this, communication is paramount. There is a song from the eighties, one of my favorites, by Marshall Crenshaw. Someday, Someway is in my opinion the definitive relationship song. In one part he sings "If you can't tell me what is wrong, all I can do is wonder why'.

That's it in a nutshell. Men are oblivious to a lot, and the classic line 'if you don't know what's wrong, I'm not going to tell you' is possible the most fatal mistake a woman can make.

WE DON'T KNOW what is wrong, if we did we would try to fix it. We're not as in touch with our emotions as you are. Give us the benefit of the doubt, tell us.

So, no, no one can understand women in the plural. But if we're lucky and really work at it, maybe we can understand just a little bit about the ones we love.

I can tell one more thing I learned. You have to listen closely to what's not being said. Sometimes what they don't talk about is the most important thing of all.

Maybe if I had listened a little closer Annie wouldn't have left. Maybe if she talked to me a little more things would have been different.

I guess the saddest thing to me is I had no idea she was unhappy, and she never gave me a chance to fix whatever was broken.

But life moves on. Remember at the first of the interview when I talked about the law of unintended consequences? I'm living proof of that.

If Annie had stayed, I would still be a happy little engineer, writing my manuals and looking forward to retirement.

But she left, seeking adventure and something different.

So instead of my quiet little life, thanks to the book I've been in the international spotlight, traveled the world, hobnobbed with the rich and famous, grown wealthy beyond my wildest dreams, and got a large family and a woman I love more than the air I breathe.

Sometimes I wake at night and wonder about Annie, and then my beautiful wife murmurs in her sleep, and snuggles closer. My life is as perfect as it can be. I thank God every day.

All I can tell you definitely is guys, you better listen, and girls, don't be shy about what you want. Remember we're wired differently, make adjustments and your life will be better all round.

Good night, and God bless you all."

..............................................

"One last thing before we say goodnight, Joe. Describe the book cover for those who haven't seen it."

"The cover was designed by my friend Jane. I don't know where she got the idea, but it was perfect. It's a collage, pictures of a lot of the women I interviewed, as many as would give us permission. We managed to get two hundred and forty five. The two largest in the front center are Jane and Annie, the two who inspired this whole mess."

"The largest picture on the back, the one in the center, is the original Annie. I don't really know, I just felt I should recognize her, after all, without her this would never have happened."

The applause was thunderous. Babs noticed a lot of the audience had serious looks on their faces, reflecting no doubt on the nights' subject.

Joe was gracious, shaking hands and chatting with small groups. It seemed everyone wanted to acknowledge him, and the impression he had made on their lives.

He may think of himself as an 'Average Joe', she thought, but he was one of the most impressive men she had ever met, certainly the most impressive she had ever interviewed.

...............................................

"Well listeners, that's it. The final segment. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did."

"What's next for Joe Williams? Well, his new book, 'Average Joes', will be in book stores and on line in six months. As he explained it to me, It's 500 Annies in reverse. Five hundred men were interviewed at random on love and relationships, and Joe said there were as many surprises in it as there were in 500 Annies. I can't wait to read it, and hopefully have him on the show to talk about it."

"Goodnight, audience. I hope you remember his advice in days ahead, I know I will."

"This is Barbara Barnes, Book Report on WORD, 86.7 on your dial. Good night."

She lay her headphones down and left the booth.

Mike was waiting for her.

"Damn, Babs, you were right, that was great stuff. I wish I had----"

That was all he got out before she grabbed him and kissed him, thoroughly. When they came up for air, she handed him a copy of the book.

"Read this tonight. We'll talk tomorrow. 'Night, babe."

He stood in shock, watching her retreating back before looking at the book.

Damn!"

................................................

Well, there it is. I'm thinking about an epilogue where he talks about his new book, his new marriage, and a final confrontation with Annie, but I probably won't get to is anytime soon.

Thanks for reading, and remember all comments are appreciated. Until next time, QHML1.