7 Signs That He’s Cheating On You

Now he's suggesting he takes her up to his studio where all his little model soldiers are, and show her his 15mm scale model of Marshal Ney waving his baton about.

They say something to you as they get up. Sozzled and bemused, you nod your assent, as though they've asked your permission or something.

They disappear off to his studio, and you lean forward and pour yourself another glass of wine.

Poor bitch, you think, doesn't know what she's letting herself in for, as you imagine his studio crammed with little toy soldiers, and cannons and model buildings and trees and a million other nerdy things.

You wake up, look at your watch, you must have dozed off. It's two in the morning. Upstairs you can hear all kinds of giggling and banging. You shout up to them, because the noise is doing your head in. The sounds abruptly stop. Minutes later, you hear them clatter down stairs.

Your best friend appears, fixing her hair, with your boyfriend behind, fixing his jeans. She says she lost track of time and has to get home, your boyfriend says he's pretty sober and will drop her home.

You suggest she crashes out here, but she says something about feeding her cat, and then gives you a quick kiss before leaving.

You settle back to sleep on the sofa, the last thing you hear is their laughter and the front door closing.

You wake up to the fact you are both hung over and late for work. You stagger upstairs intent on freshening up and getting dressed quickly for work.

You happen to glance into your boyfriend's studio, and do a double take. On his six by four table his wargame recreation looks incongruous: green felt is dotted with trees and hundreds of tiny painted soldiers marching into the fight, but one group of little heroes doesn't look like they'll make their objective because there, barring their way to a hill labelled Pratzen Heights, is a giant bra. Your mind is fuddled but you're pretty sure it isn't yours.

You move on supposing your mind will come up with a reasonable explanation – then you get to your room –

Your boyfriend is snoring on the bed which is a mess of scrambled sheets, your sex toys are scattered everywhere, handcuffs attached to the bedposts.

Deciding to let him sleep, you dress quickly as your mind struggles to process this strange sight.

You borrow his car as yours is low on juice, and race to get work, the fog in your mind. You recall last night and feel good as you remember how well your boyfriend and your best friend got on. The future is rosy.

But, wait!

What was that bra doing in his studio?

Why were your sex toys all around his bedroom, just what did he show her in his studio last night?

And why is the gear stick in his car so sticky? What are those foot imprints on the inside of the windscreen doing there?

Just what went on last night? Could it be that your best friend and your boyfriend got on better than you'd wanted them too?

It's time you asked some questions . . .



So there you have it, girls. Men, you just can't trust them. Why, while you've been reading this, what do you think your man has been doing? Just what I thought – you don't know. Well, I'll tell you what he's been doing- having it off with some trollop – (probably). The best thing you can do, now you've read this article, is to go right up to him, slap him on the face and tell him it's over and that he is a two-timing, two faced, adulterous, bastard.

That'll teach him!

Look out for these future articles to help you with your love life:

*How to write a Dear John letter (includes templates).
*How to dump your boyfriend in a humiliating manner.
*How to get revenge on a cheating lover (a must for all aspiring bunny boilers).
*Emotional blackmail tips – turn your man into a guilt-ridden neurotic mess.
*101 put down lines – embarrass him in front of friends, family and colleagues.