A Bargain Made: A House Fallen Ch. 05

She met her mother's eyes. "What if tomorrow there is war? Tomorrow there is war and we meet the enemy in one of the poor villages, or they burn through all the way to the southern quarter. I have fought house-to-house, Mother. What if I meet them in some hovel with a family that gets by with barely a building to call home?"

"Then, what if an enemy sword threatens to come across the neck of the unkempt children in their home and I take it to protect them, as is my place and my vow? Would I die that day knowing my mother felt as much pride as she did the day I received my commission? Would I know that she was proud that I fought valiantly to save innocents even as I fell?" Misting eyes threatened her carefully applied makeup, "Or would I die knowing that some part of my mother carried anger and shame because I died for...those people? I died for people that would never be worthy of me at all, much less the life I'd given."

Her mother looked as though she'd been slapped.

"Befriending, bedding, or even dying for is fine, but love and marriage is the limit?" She steeled herself as she came back around the desk. Beyond that, what of my children?"

Her eyes widened and she looked at her uniform for the slightest evidence, "Are you...?"

"I'm not," she assured her, "but that is the natural progression of things. What of them?"

"Exactly. Think of them. Do you want them to grow up being tormented over their father's parentage. Children are children, why put arrows in their quiver? Think of their lives in our House."

Neral conceded the point,"Yes. Mother, they will likely be teased. If it were not about their father, it would be about something else. But they will know their father loves them. They will know that their mother chose well even if he didn't sleep first in a golden cradle."

"I am thinking of all of us, Mother. Our House is not just these walls. Our House is not just the status we hold, it is the people in it and how we treat one another that gives us our integrity and make us a House to be followed and admired far more than bloodlines."

"There will be times when we are not close and they go to Tessa with a skinned knee. They may go to the cook for advice. I want them to and I want them to be able to. Hear me clearly in this, Mother; I cannot protect them from every cutting word in the world, and I would not even want to, lest they be far too weak to face life. But they will know that this house is their sanctuary. It will be their place of peace where they are loved and accepted without reservation. I will allow no one within these walls or in their family to make them feel as though they are less or as though they should be ashamed of who they are."

A'marin put her arms behind her back, "Are you implying that you would deny me access to my grandchildren? Do you think that I would poison them?"

"How could you not? That poison is here now. Her voice wavered, "I would rather break my own heart now by banishing you from lives before they are born than wait and try to answer a tiny voice that asks why Grandmother doesn't like Father and what he had done. Or see their sadness as they know their cousins are being treated differently without knowing why or being able to articulate it. 'Why doesn't Grandmother love me the same?'"

A'marin deflated slowly and took the nearest chair. She leaned forward, lacing her fingers together and bringing them close, resting her chin on her thumbs, weighing the words against her ears.

"What do I say, Mother? Tell me. 'Worry not, child, she only hates half of you." Neral dropped to her knees in a way she would for only a handful of others, her hands clutching her mother's, "Please. I beg you, accept my husband. Put away the worry and the disappointment and accept him, for the sake of our family now and the family yet to be. He is a good man. Open yourself and you will see. He is just as proud as you are and he deserves your respect. I know that affection will come in time." She smiled, "If nothing else if you adopt my side of the issue, you will be able to spar for years with Court. You'd enjoy that."

Her mother's eyes were with Neral's, but it was clear she was deep in thought, not sure which was worse: to be kept from her grandchildren or to see those looks on their as yet imaginary faces.

"I need for my children to know the woman who taught me how to be a woman. I need them to see your intellect and your wit. I need them to see the woman who gave discipline and love in equal measure. I will protect them from anyone," she swallowed hard, "but it would be like death to me to have to protect them from you."

There was a knock at the door which caused Neral to clear her throat quickly and lift herself upright on one leg. When she spoke, her voice was clear, "Come in."

The door opened and in walked Deres, still tugging at his suit. It was similar in color and style to Neral's military uniform so anyone seeing would know that they fit together, though, of course, his carried no military adornment and only a bit of gold at the collar for a splash of color. He saw Neral's eyes and concern flashed in his as he came to her, "All is well?"

Neral buried what was there quickly and without mercy, smiling at her husband, "All is well, Husband." She eyed him up and down, "You are most handsome this evening."

"I'm glad I can manage it occasionally," he agreed. "You are most beautiful every day."

She blushed at the praise. She often came home worn from meetings, training, and any of the hundred demands of her position, so she doubted that. "Even when I come home muddy and ruined?"

"Dirty is never terrible, Neral." He kissed her and her cares melted, at least for a moment before he broke it and sighed, "A cape though? Really? You deserve all the uniform embellishments you can get, but why do I need a cape?"

"To be complimentary, Deres," Neral chided Appearances matter tonight. "Besides, it's only a half-cape, let it drape over the shoulder and don't fuss over it."

He did not heed her as he tried to pull and straighten it."But it keeps wanting to bunch and pull."

"I'll fix it for you," Neral offered.

Before the younger Jaye could move, the elder spoke."Excuse me." Not waiting for a response, A'marin picked up several of small, gold leaf page clips from the desk and expertly got between Neral and Deres, beginning to work the fabric as she wished it before gathering the clips and applying them, careful to cover them. "It will hang as it should if you walked properly. It needs a smooth glide, a glide that Neral's father never could quite master." By the time she'd finished, one would have had to have been inches from him to see the slight puckers of the blood red material. "There."

Deres shifted his weight and watched for movement that didn't happen, "Thank you."

"Now you can focus on the proper forks for each course," she said dryly.

He suffered through a flash of embarrassment, his blue eyes finding the floor for a moment before meeting hers once again, "I can indeed."

Daughter recognized her mother's humor, "Mother?"

A'marin turned to her as a teacher who was about to give a lesson. Neral knew that look, too. "We are judged in all things so take care not to give cause to be judged harshly." She paused, "I sometimes forget that that matters within a House as much as without."

She embraced her daughter tightly, as if she might slip away. She whispered quietly enough so that only Neral's ear caught the words. "It would be death to me to be parted from you that way, too, so it shall not happen."

Neral clutched her tightly, for that moment, every bit her mother's little girl. "Thank you, Mother."

They rocked gently to and fro, "I apologize that I have made it necessary for you to thank me for not being hateful."

"I know you are only concerned."

"Over the wrong things in your case. I will change that, I swear."

Neral felt relieved and ebullient. In the space of a few moments she felt in the mood for the festival and Court. Secondary to vengeance being at hand for the wrongs done her this night, she could go to the festival with the whole of her family behind her.

In the end, nothing mattered more.