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"Oh," Khensa smiled and nodded a little in a way that just took Debbie's heart away, "Well what are bunnies then?
I do not even know what they are, but from your story, I think that I must -- at some point during this Christmastime -- learn to fuck like one for you."
Debbie laughed as she slid down next to Khensa, "Just go to sleep now, Baby. I'll explain it all to you in the morning and then show you properly after dinner sometime."
- COMMENTS
TJSkywindover 9 years agoNo issues with grammar or sentence structure. Only issue was the punctuation with regards to quotation marks. When dialog spans paragraphs, you need to add a quote mark at the beginning of the new paragraph without closing it on the previous one. This reminds the reader that someone is speaking and it is the same person / being talking. That way, it's not mistaken for someone's thoughts. And if you close the quote on the previous paragraph, it means someone new is speaking.
I'd like to think that Debbie gave Phil some Christmas cookies for insisting that the marriage take place.
Very nice story of love at first sight. Khensa and Debbie La Croix resonated with me as well. Apparently plum pudding mixes very nicely with sliced peaches. Who would have thought? 5*
JasonRTayloralmost 10 years agoWhile I enjoyed the characters and the story, the sex was barely "R" material and woefully brief.
But for that deficiency it was 5 stars.
Jason
TaLtos6over 10 years agoAuthorI'm a little surprised and intrigued at the way that this pair seem to resonate with people a bit. As I've mentioned, they'll appear in supporting roles for the next bit of "Chameleon in Chrome". Now I'm wondering where else I might take them, lol!
Anonymousover 10 years agoThis is definitely a story that should be on-going! I never wanted to stop reading and now I don't want to wait for another chapter. This was most definitely an enjoyable and intriguing tale.
