A Bend in the Road

He smiled and said, "A gentleman. What a novel concept in this day and age. Cliff, I believe you." He patted the couch next to him and said, "Slide over here." I slid over eagerly. "Now put your arm around me," he said quietly. I did so. "Have you ever kissed a man before?" he asked. "No," I said. "Well, there's a first time for everything," he said. Tad turned toward me, put his hand on my face and pulled me down. Our lips touched, our mouths opened, I felt and tasted his tongue, and I kissed and was kissed by a man for the first time in my life.

I cannot describe the feelings that kiss produced in me. I felt a rush of excitement unlike any I had felt before. Tad was both more aggressive and more submissive than a woman. At first his tongue was in my mouth, but then he drew my tongue into him, and gently sucked on it.

I was erect within seconds.

We sat on his couch and "made out," for want of a better term, for about fifteen minutes, and then to my disappointment, Tad pushed me away gently. "Cliff, I think it's time for you to go," he whispered. I could see that his face was flushed and that he was breathing heavily; I was gratified to know that he was excited too.

"Okay," I said, "but one more before I go."

Tad obliged me with another kiss, this one slightly more chaste than our previous ones. I reluctantly got up and walked to the door. Tad followed. When I opened the door, he leaned against the opening. A little smile played across his lips. I took his hand in both of mine and asked the age-old question: "When am I going to see you again?"

"Call me tomorrow and we'll see," he said. "I'll be in and out during the day." Then he smiled a trifle ruefully and said, "I hope that I don't live to regret this, Cliff."

"You won't, I promise," I said, and walked on air to my car.

I worked at the courthouse the next day, but my mind wasn't on my work. Tad was all I could think about. Finally, at one o'clock, I dialed his number. He picked up on the fourth ring.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi Tad, it's Cliff Richardson."

"Oh hello!" he said. I was thrilled. He actually sounded happy to hear from me.

"How's your day going?"

"Just fine. I'm cleaning up around the house. How about you?"

"Routine, for once," I replied. "I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed last night. It was a bit of a revelation for me."

"Oh? How so?"

"It's hard to explain over the phone. I'd have to tell you in person." I said this fervently hoping that he'd agree to see me again soon.

"That can probably arranged, Cliff. What did you have in mind?"

Knowing that this was a clue for me to take the lead, I said, "If you're not doing anything this afternoon, why don't we meet for drinks?"

"Sounds good. I know just the place."

We arranged to meet at one of the local sports bars where one could get a drink or a beer or a steak. I was there at five. Tad showed up at five-ten. He was wearing crisp khakis, penny loafers and an expensive linen shirt of several pastel colors. I waved him over and he smiled when he saw me. On his way through the restaurant, I saw several other male patrons look at him. Some watched appreciatively, others with barely concealed disgust. It was a bit of a shock for me. Suddenly, I wondered if I wanted to be associated so closely with a gay man. I mean, wouldn't most people now assume that I was gay also? I must have been frowning when Tad walked up, because he said, "What's the matter, Cliff? Is something bothering you?" He sat down across from me and looked into my eyes.

"Nothing," I said. "Just thinking about my ex-wife."

"Mmmm-hmmm," he said dubiously. It was obvious that he didn't believe me. Then it occurred to me. Tad had encountered this before. He had told me that he'd "been down this road before," presumably with other men like me, men who had never been in a homosexual relationship before. It became clear that this whole encounter was a test. A test to see whether I was embarrassed to be seen in public with Tad. Even his outfit was part of the test. Tad looked great to me, but his dress and the way he carried himself practically shouted his orientation to the world. I looked around the restaurant. It was filled with men. Most of them were professional types, like me, with shirts and ties. But there was an appreciable number of working class guys and college students. There were women, but not many of them. At this time of the day, this place was mainly male.

And then I decided that it didn't matter. I had not felt this way about anyone, male or female, in a very long time, and I was not going to let anything ruin it. It was then that I threw myself totally into the relationship with Tad. To do so was such a relief that I must have been smiling, because Tad's face lit up and he said, "Wow! What a change! You have such a nice smile, Cliff, when you choose to let me see it."

"Tad," I said happily, "you have no idea how glad I am to see you. I have been looking forward to this all afternoon." I reached over and patted his hand, his beautiful hand.

Tad looked down, then back up at me from under lidded eyes and said, "I'm glad you're glad. I think we're off to a good start."

We ordered drinks and sat talking for two hours. During that time we also ate, but I don't remember what we had. We talked about everything: politics, movies, our families (including my children), all the things people talk about to get to know each other. At about eight, we got up to leave, leaving our long-suffering server a generous tip. I walked him to his car, a very nice gold-colored Avalon. "I would ask you over, Cliff, but I've got to work tomorrow and the next day. I have to get some rest and if you came over, we might spend the night...talking." He blushed attractively. (My heart actually beat a little harder.)

"No," I said, "it's quite all right. I have to work tomorrow too. I'd like to call you tomorrow night though, if it's all right."

"Absolutely," he said. "Call me tomorrow night."

"And by the way," I said, handing him my card, "here are my numbers. Both my cell and my house phone are on there, as well as my email address. "Okay then, 'bye," I said, leaning in. Tad favored me with a smile and firm peck on the lips. He then slipped into his car and drove off.

The next two days we didn't see each other, only talked on the phone. They weren't long conversations, just keeping-in-touch talks, but they were pleasant enough. On Friday night, I asked Tad if he'd like to spend Saturday together with me. To my delight, he said yes, and on Saturday morning I picked him up at his apartment. First we went to the gym, where we both enjoyed good, hard workouts. We played a couple of games of racquetball, each one of us winning one. Afterward, we went out to lunch. Over a second glass of cold white wine, Tad told me that he'd always found older guys more interesting than younger ones.

"You said you'd been down this road before." I said. "Do you mind telling me what you mean?"

Tad sighed and looked away. Then he looked at me and said, "When I was twenty-two, just out of nursing school, I had an affair with an older man. He was a doctor at a hospital where I worked. Very handsome. Very distinguished. Wealthy. The whole package. I fell in love with him. He took me to Italy with him, for heaven's sake. Then I found out that he was divorced, no, actually just separated from his wife. He had teenaged kids. He told me one night that he was on the verge of reconciling with her. I wanted him to make a choice. His family or me. It was stupid of me, I know, to force him to choose." Tad wiped a tear with the back of his hand. I gave him a napkin. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose. "I don't want you to see me like this," he said.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," I said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh, it's all right," he said, laying his hand on mine. "But you can see why I'm a little 'gun shy' if you know what I mean. Anyway, in the end, he chose to go back to his family. I chose to move on. But it still hurts a little when I think about him."

"Is he a local doctor?" I asked.

"Heaven's no! I couldn't stand to be around him anymore. He's in another state, and good riddance to him."

"Well Tad," I said, "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. My wife and I are totally and completely divorced, with no chance of getting back together. My children are living their own lives now. Now, I'll admit, this is the first time I've ever been in a relationship with a man, but I feel kind of like I've been waiting for it, for you, my entire life. I want to make this work between us. God! I can't believe I'm saying this! It's so different from what I've been like before. But it feels really right to me."

"I'm glad," Tad said, looking at me.

We spent the rest of the afternoon shopping. Tad helped me pick out a new shirt and shoes. They were both of a style that I would never have chosen for myself, but I figured I was broadening my horizons in several ways. Afterward, we went over to my house for dinner. I already had the grill set up and the steaks marinating. I opened a bottle of my (best!) red wine and we started on it while I grilled. Tad made fettuccini alfredo and a salad. I had put a record album on my turntable while we cooked. "I can't believe you have a turntable and records," he said, kneeling in front of my entertainment center. He pulled out an album and handed it to me. "Let's play this one," he said.

I looked at it. It was by Dire Straits, an album title Making Movies. Actually one of my favorites. "Good choice," I said. "I really like this album." Soon we were enjoying Mark Knopfler's guitar playing. Then "Romeo and Juliet" came on, the second track on the album. "I love this song," I said to Tad.

"Me too," he said. "It's so romantic."

I couldn't help myself. I put my wine glass down and came up behind Tad. I put my hands on his slender waist and turned him around. He moved into my arms and we exchanged the first kiss of the day. It was perfect. It was quite a while before we broke the kiss. Tad patted me on the chest and whispered, "More of this later, baby. I'm starving."

"I'm starving, too," I murmured.

"Patience, big boy. Good things come to those who wait," he said, turning back around and pouring sauce onto noodles. I picked up my glass, refilled his and mine, and went back into the yard. The steaks were done. I brought them in and set our places. Tad served the fettuccini and the salad. We ate hungrily, talking little, the silence companionable.

The sun was going down as we drank coffee on the back porch of my house. I lived out in the country. My porch looked out upon a field, with a patch of woods bordering it. The sun set behind the trees, the shadows lengthened and stretched toward us. It got a little cool. We went inside and sat on the couch. The room got darker, so I lit a candle or two. I put on another album, this time a really old one—The Best of Bread. Tad put his head on my shoulder. I played with his hair. It was very fine.

"That feels nice," he said quietly.

"You have the nicest hair. So straight and fine."

"Cliff."

"Yes."

"Please kiss me now."

He crawled into my arms. I looked into his eyes, half-closed with anticipation, mouth slightly open. His body was warm and firm; his muscles moved smoothly under my hands. I pulled him close and kissed him, gently at first, then more deeply, more hungrily. The kiss went on and on. I felt it in my whole body. Tad was a better kisser than any woman I'd ever met, even my wife. It was like he threw his whole being into the kiss. I was erect within moments.

I felt Tad's hand on my chest, and then his fingers unbuttoning my shirt. His hot breath seared my skin. He took my nipple into his mouth, sucked gently. My belt became unbuckled. My pants were deftly undone. His lips moved back up my throat; I was kissed again. A warm hand went under the band of my shorts and grasped my cock. A rush of pleasure coursed through my body. It had been years since I'd had my cock touched by another person. My ex-wife and I had not made love for at least a year before we separated. Tad slowly worked his hand up and down on my erection. It made no difference, none at all, that it was a man handling me instead of a woman. "Oh baby," I moaned, "that feels so good."

"It's going to feel better," Tad whispered into my ear. He lowered his head onto my lap. I felt his hot breath on my stomach. He pulled down my shorts and took my cock into his mouth, sucking it just right. He was warm and wet and very practiced. I could already tell that no woman had ever sucked me with as much skill and relish. We went on like that for several minutes, and then I had to stop him—I was getting ready to cum. "Let's go in the bedroom," I murmured. We got up off the couch and I led Tad by the hand to the back of the house.

We undressed quickly and got into bed together. I was struck by how much the same, yet how different it was from making love to a woman. Tad's skin was certainly soft and smooth. He had hardly any hair anywhere, and what he did have was soft and light. He kissed ardently and somewhat aggressively, but let me take the lead. He took my tongue like a woman. I kissed him on the neck and nibbled his ear, then moved lower to his chest. He moaned. All this time, there was the undeniably arousing, yet strange sensation of our genitals being squashed together. We were both hard. He lay back a little, and I looked at his pale smooth body by the light of the lamp. I ran my hand over him, ending at his crotch. I hesitated.

"Have you ever handled another man's cock before, Cliff?" Tad asked.

"No, I never have," I managed to choke out.

"Then we're both about to get a treat. Go ahead, lover. Touch my cock."

Tad was about seven inches long, fairly thick, and cut. He obviously trimmed his pubic hair, because it was no more than a springy little bush. His testicles were large, the sac drawn up firmly. Tad's cock was fully erect. I put my hand around it and squeezed gently. He sighed and inhaled sharply. "Oh yes baby, that feels good." I moved my hand up and down on it a little, and a small drop of clear pre-cum appeared at the tip.

"I want to do it," I said.

"Do what, baby?"

"I want to suck it."

Smiling, Tad looked at me and with a mischievous glint in his eye, asked, "Suck what?"

Now I was smiling. Now I realized that for many years, I'd waited for this moment. I'd waited for the right time, the right man, and, heaven help me, the right cock. "I want to suck your cock, Tad."

"Go ahead, Cliff darling. Enjoy yourself. Oh, and don't worry about my cumming in your mouth. We'll get to that later." With that, Tad laid back a little, displaying his slender, pale body and hard cock to me.

I was literally trembling with anticipation, and with trepidation. I had never sucked a man's cock before. This was unknown territory for me. I scooted down so that I was directly over his groin. I picked up Tad's cock and placed a tentative kiss on the head. I ran my tongue over the bulbous glans and took it into my mouth. He tasted smooth and alive, a warm living thing. He was also nice and hard. I sucked ardently. For a second, I couldn't believe what I was doing: I was actually sucking another man's cock, and enjoying it. Just as quickly, I accepted it and realized that this was what I wanted. I settled in to give Tad a good cocksucking. "That's good, Cliff," I heard Tad say. I tasted something a little salty and realized that it was Tad's pre-cum. I squeezed the shaft and milked a little into my mouth. Tad groaned. I figured I must have been doing all right. Suddenly, I remembered all the times that women (the few that I'd had) had sucked my cock. I remembered how much I liked it, but also that most of them didn't seem to enjoy what they were doing. It was something to get past, so they could get my mouth on their pussies, and then presumably my cock in there. I made up my mind right then and there that Tad would never feel that way about my cocksucking.

The excitement got too much for me, and I moaned with a mouthful of Tad's penis. I opened wide to get more of him into me, closed my lips tightly, and sucked hard, moving my head up and down. He groaned again, and thrust his pelvis forward a little. He was fucking my mouth, and I loved it! I threw my body over his, laying my head down on his stomach, the warm wonderful taste, smell and feel of his dick overwhelming me. I was moaning and didn't even realize it, and more than anything in the world, I wanted that man's cum in my mouth. But then he gently pushed me away. "Let me do you," he said.

Tad pushed me back on the bed and got between my legs. He started by kissing the insides of my thighs and working slowly toward the center. As he did so, my cock got harder and harder. He cupped my balls in his hand and kissed and sucked them, then planted a line of wet sucky kisses all the way up my shaft. When he got to the top, he engulfed the head with the wettest, most ardent cocksucking mouth I'd ever felt. "Oh! That feels so damn good!" I cried. Without missing a beat, he deep-throated me, something no woman had ever done. Slowly he crawled up my shaft. I felt his talented tongue every millimeter of the way. I looked into his eyes, his pretty eyes, and I couldn't help but give a little thrust. Then down he went again. This time he worked me a little with his hand, and the sensations were exquisite, beyond anything I'd ever known before. It wasn't going to take much of this before I exploded, and I told him so. To my amazement, it made no difference to him. He kept on sucking. He went back up to the head, and sucked gently, concentrating on the tip. His slender hand began moving up and down on my shaft; his mouth worked his magic on my glans.

"It's going to happen Tad, very soon!"

He took his mouth off and said, "You can cum in my mouth, lover. I want you to." Then down he went again. I spread my legs open and relaxed, letting Tad suck my cock and take me anywhere he wanted me to go. I closed my eyes as an engulfing warmth spread through my body, its center at my cock. I felt a knot of pleasure-pain forming at the base of my penis. I felt Tad's warm hand and wet mouth drawing my essence. And then I came.

I grunted sharply as a bead of hot-sweet-sharp semen made its way up my cock and blasted into Tad's ever-so ready mouth. I was helpless in ecstasy as my orgasm roared through me. It was by far the most intense climax I'd ever experienced. I looked down to see Tad busily sucking and swallowing every drop of my cum. He finished and let my cock drop out of his mouth with a soft pop, then crawled up beside me on the bed. He kissed me and I kissed him back, hard. Smiling down at me, he asked, "Did you enjoy that, Cliff?"

"I've never felt anything like that," I said. "No woman has ever made me feel that way. It was like you totally accepted me. It was the best. I need to rest for a moment, but then I want to do you."

A few minutes later, I was ready. I laid my head on Tad's belly and looked at his semi-erect cock. I picked it up in my hand, then kissed it all over, from root to head, nuzzling it and feeling its warmth. Slowly it came to life in my hand. When it was hard, I once again took it into my mouth. Carefully, I sucked the head and glans, trying not to let my teeth touch it. While I did that, I played with his balls and worked the shaft a little. This was going to last, I told myself. Tad shifted a little and I felt his hand on my head. He ran his fingers through my hair. "Am I doing it right?" I asked. "You're doing just fine," he replied.

I shifted forward and took a little more. I wanted to get the whole thing in my mouth if I could. The press of the head against the back of my throat made me gag a little, so I backed off. I let myself fully experience what I was doing. There was nothing in the world but his cock and my mouth and what I was doing to him. He began moaning and I responded. I picked up the pace and worked my mouth up and down over the shaft. Tad tensed. He was close to cumming. I heard him say, "Finish me off with your hand, baby." Reluctantly, I took him out of my mouth but licked the tip as I jacked him off. Tad thrust a little, and then his hot warm cum spewed out. Most of it ran down my hand, but some of it got on my lips. I took a little into my mouth. It had a salty, alkaline taste. The smell was also a bit alkaline. Not unpleasant. Tad was uttering quiet grunts as his cum pumped out. I jacked his cock a little more, then stopped, knowing that it would be getting sensitive now.