A Bend in the Road

Now I was left with the sticky aftermath of our lovemaking. Unlike Tad, who'd swallowed me, I had to clean up a little. I disengaged myself slowly from him and walked shakily to the bathroom. I came back with a washcloth, cleaned up the mess, and crawled into bed beside him.

"How did I do?" I asked.

"Not bad for a first-timer. You've never sucked a cock before, have you?"

"Well, when I was younger, I did a little experimenting. Let's just say that I've had a cock in my mouth before, but I never finished the job." I actually felt a little embarrassed at telling him this. I had just sucked him off, and telling my gay lover about former experiences had caused me to blush a little.

Tad smiled at me and caressed me gently. He turned on his side. I put my arm around him and drew him close. "I really don't know how to feel," I said. "I suppose that I've been harboring these feelings for a long time, yet never really acknowledged them. I always thought that I was straight, through and through. I believed that the things I did in my youth were aberrations, nothing more. I guess not. I guess they were actual desires coming to the surface."

"I've been like this for as long as I can remember," Tad said. "I don't know any other way to be. I'm under no illusions as to what I am, or what I want."

"Have you ever been with a woman?" I asked.

"I tried it once, but it didn't work. To me, a woman's genitals just aren't appealing. I mean, the smell and the moisture and the hair. It all just seems so unsanitary. Yuck. I like a good, hard cock. But that's not everything. I like men because of the way we are. Women make good friends, but men are much more to my liking as lovers. We know what we want. We want to get off. If a man's cock is hard—hell, even if it isn't—I can get him off. Not so much foreplay bullshit. I don't have to spend weeks or even months cultivating a relationship before I can get a man in bed. And baby, if you cum, I'll know it. Just like I'll know it if you don't cum. No faking. I hate that about women. Some men claim that they can always tell if a woman is faking her orgasms. Bullshit. I know women who've never had an orgasm, and yet their husbands and boyfriends believe they're satisfying them every time they make love. Let me tell you, honey, a man believes what he wants to believe. If she makes enough noise, he'll think she just had the best orgasm in the history of orgasms, while all she wants to do is read a fucking romance novel."

"Wow," I said. "That's a bit cynical, Tad. I hope you don't feel that way about me."

"Cliff," he said gently, "you are my lover, and special to me. Yes, I've been around the block a few times. I've been used a few times, by men and women. But I've never cheated on a lover. I will not cheat on you. And as long as you treat me well and are honest with me, you will have my heart and my loyalty." He grasped my cock gently, and fondled it until it was hard. "Now," he said have you ever had anal sex?"

"Yes, with a woman."

"Well, you've never had it yet, until you've had it with me. Have you got any lube?"

"I believe I've got some K-Y around here. Funny, I never got rid of it."

"Then find it," Tad said, "I want your cock up my butt."

I looked in the bedside drawer and found the tube. Tad got into position, his butt in the air, his butthole fully exposed. From this angle, it looked like a woman's ass, except the opening was maybe a little hairier. I put a glob of lube on his asshole, and some on my cock, and got behind him. From the times I'd done this with women, I knew to go slow. I placed the tip of my cock against the opening, and pushed forward slowly. Tad pushed back, which surprised me a little. Normally, when I had done this with women, they'd resisted or protested, or made me feel like they were doing me a huge favor. Not so with Tad. Before I knew it, the head of my cock was inside. Now Tad was taking deep breaths and moaning a little. "Is it too much?" I asked anxiously.

"No baby, you're doing it just right," he whispered. Then Tad pushed back again, and my whole cock was swallowed up by his butthole. "That feels good," Tad said. "I so love a nice hard dick in my ass. Stroke me a little, lover." I started moving back and forth, grasping him by the hips. He was very smooth and warm. "Now hold up a minute. Stay deep," he said.

He got very tight around me. I mean really snug. And then he began moving back and forth. Tad was milking my cock, loosening up on the downstroke, and tightening on the upstroke. It felt wonderful. He pulled up a little, and his hole danced around the head of my cock a few times, then he plunged back down. I moaned loudly. I heard him chuckle and say, "Pretty good, huh?" "You have no idea, Tad," I managed to get out. "That's just it," he said, "I do have an idea." He slowed his rhythm a little to let me catch my breath. I caught his hips again, and thrust into him over and over. I pulled back and worked the head into his asshole, then shoved my cock back in. It was feeling very hot and good down there, and I was going to cum soon.

"Oh baby," I'm gonna cum," I exclaimed.

"Go ahead! Don't hold back! Give me that hot cum!"

He leaned up and back, and I felt his hand come around and grasp my ass, pulling me closer. I put my arm across his chest and we kissed. I reached around and grasped his hard cock, jerking it a little. But to be honest, I couldn't concentrate. I was so close to cumming that I let go, took hold of his hips, and fucked him for all I was worth. He went back down on his elbows and took it like a man.

A familiar tingle in my groin signaled to me that I was very close. I slowed a little, enjoying the feeling of his tight, hot anus around me. I worked the head a little more, then plunged in. Suddenly I felt the cum bubbling up my shaft. I cried out loudly and jerked spasmodically as Tad took the second load of my cum that night. Jetting into his asshole, I felt for a second like I was leaving my own body. The rush of pleasure was something I'd never felt before. Tad was once again tightening and loosening, milking every drop out of me. Somehow, he'd known just when I was climaxing, and he was doing his best to make it as pleasurable as possible for me. Needless to say, it worked.

When my long, intense climax was over, I collapsed into bed beside him. "I'm getting too old for this," I sighed. Tad snuggled up to me and kissed me on the shoulder.

"Very satisfying," he said.

"Very," I said.

"I can see that you're tired. Sleep now, honey. We'll talk in the morning."

I hardly heard the last few words.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I lay there quietly, going over in my head what had happened the night before. I could hear Tad bustling around in the kitchen. I hoped he was making coffee. Then, nature called and I got up to pee. I washed my face and hands and ran a bath cloth over my cock and balls. I brushed my teeth. Then, still a little tired, I went back to bed. A few minutes later, Tad came in. He was wearing tightie whities and an undershirt. "Good morning!" he called out cheerily. He sat down on the bed and leaned in for a kiss. To my credit, I didn't hesitate. I kissed him warmly. "Well, that's a change," Tad remarked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, I've been with a few men on their first times, and usually they are a bit standoffish in the morning. You know what the song says, 'It's in his kiss.'"

"Well, I'll admit that I've got a few things to think about," I said, "but I don't regret what happened last night. Not one little bit."

"Good," Tad said, "then get something on and come eat. Unless you want me to take care of you right now." He whipped the covers back to reveal my semi-erect cock. He ran his finger down its length.

"No," I said, getting out of bed. "I'll come and eat." I put on a t-shirt and boxers and went into the kitchen. We had cereal, toast and coffee.

"I like to eat light in the morning, although I could make you something more," Tad said, crunching on toast.

"No, this is fine," I said.

"Good. When we're done, you can run me home."

I looked at him. "You don't have to go. We can spend the day together."

"Listen Cliff," Tad said, putting a hand on my arm. "It's been my experience that, after the first night, if we've had sex, most of my older lovers like to think about it for a while. It's all so new to them that they have to mull it over. Right now, you're probably thinking about last night and how good it was. I'm thinking about it too. But later, since you're not a gay man, you'll have second thoughts. I don't want you getting in too deep when you're not ready. So you can take me home this morning and call me later this week."

I started to protest, but then I realized that he was right. The boner I was sporting right then was the result of my thinking about what had happened between us the previous night. It would be better for both of us for me to consider where I wanted this relationship to go.

"I suppose you're right," I said. "I want you to know that I want this to continue. But I'll do what you say and think about it. And I'll call you later this week."

He smiled at me. "Good. Now, big boy, would you like me to take care of that hard-on I know you've got?"

I grinned. "How did you know that I have a hard-on?"

"My lovers always have a hard-on in the morning. They can't seem to get enough of me," he said, laughing a little.

"I know exactly how they feel," I said. Tad took me by the hand and led me back to the bedroom.

He sat on the edge of the bed and said, "Come over here."

I stood in front of him, my erection making a tent of my boxers. "What have we here? Oh my goodness, Cliff has a problem that he needs taken care of. Well, I am a nurse after all." He pulled my shorts down, exposing my nice thick cock. "Oh yes, let's see what we can do here."

Tad took the head of my cock into his mouth and began sucking me gently. "I'm going to have to lie down," I managed to say before my knees buckled.

I kicked off my shorts and lay down on the bed. Tad crawled up between my legs and parted his lips over my cock. He swirled his tongue around the head, then plunged down, taking half my length into his wet, warm mouth. "I love sucking a cock in the morning," he gasped, before plunging down again. When he came back up, he tugged with his slender hand. With just the right amount of speed and pressure, Tad sucked and tugged on my prick until, with a strangled whisper, I managed to say, "Oh baby! I'm going to cum very soon." He plunged once again onto my raging, rock-hard phallus, this time taking its full length into his sucking eager mouth. He stayed like that for a few seconds, then came up, took a breath and went back down. I could feel every caress of his talented tongue. This time, I felt my orgasm building powerfully. Down Tad went, and up ratcheted my excitement. Finally, with little warning, I climaxed, shooting gob after gob of thick hot gooey cum into Tad's mouth. He caught and swallowed most of it, but some ran down my prick onto his hand.

"Oh Lordy, Cliff! I didn't think you had it in you," he said looking at me. There was a little splatter of semen on his lower lip. I saw his tongue snake out and lick it up.

"I usually don't. But this is a special occasion."

He took me back into his mouth and cleaned me thoroughly. Then he sat back on his heels, patted my thigh and said, "Okay, big boy, time to take me home."

I reluctantly got up and got dressed. To be sure, I was full of conflicting emotions. But I also knew that I would be calling him later in the week. When I pulled up in front of his apartment, I pulled him close and kissed him long and sensuously. I wanted him to know that it wasn't going to end there. I wanted him to know how I felt. He kissed me back the same, then broke the kiss, patting my chest and saying, "Whew! We'd better stop or I'm going to have to change my policy." Then he got out. He gave a little wave, then walked lightly over to his apartment.

* * *

I'd like to say that I couldn't resist calling him right away, but it wouldn't be true. Tad had been right, I needed time to think. I wondered if I'd been gay all along, but had not realized it. I doubted that, since, as I said before, I'd always enjoyed pussy. I loved women, while at the same time I knew perfectly well how aggravating they could be. My ex had been, on the whole, a good wife. But she had also been a bitch sometimes who had bartered affection (if not sex) for money and used premenstrual syndrome and her monthly period to treat me like shit and even lash out at the kids. At times, I was amazed that we had ever married in the first place. We basically had nothing in common by the time we were divorced. I was getting nothing out of the marriage, and neither was she, even though she wouldn't admit it. It was a relief for both of us when we split up. It is possible that my marriage had colored my feelings toward women. During the marriage, I'd been tempted, but never slept with another woman. I had looked at them and seen my wife looking back at me through their eyes. Even if I had started a relationship with one of the women I knew, how long would it be before they started acting like her?

I couldn't deny the physical attraction to Tad. Though not muscle-bound, he was very fit. His skin was smooth and the muscles beneath were hard. He had very little hair, just a little sprinkling in his pubic area and on his arms and legs. He had great eyes and a sensuous mouth. I loved his smile and his sense of humor. Tad had fine light-brown hair and a discreet spray of freckles across his nose. In short, he was for me, the perfect man.

What would my children and ex-wife think if they found out about us, though? That was a sticky one. In a perfect world, I would have spent as much time as possible with Tad and said to hell with the rest. But the world is not perfect. So, I had to figure out whether what I got from being with my male lover was worth what I was going to pay.

Tad had already been hurt before when a former lover had left him and gone back to his family. No worries there—I had no family to go back to. What Tad was really scared of was being used, hurt and abandoned. Well, isn't that a fear that we all have? I certainly didn't want it to happen to me. While my ex would probably smile sarcastically and say "I knew it" when she heard (and she would hear, eventually) that I'd gone with a gay man, it would probably hurt my children. Wendy and David were both in their twenties now, and out on their own. They were both modern adults, and liberal in their thinking, but how would they react to this? I could only imagine that learning their father was engaged in a homosexual relationship would, to coin a phrase, "rock their world," and not in a good way. On the other hand, they've got to have known how desperately unhappy both me and their mother had been. And while my ex had moved on with another man (good luck with that, by the way) I had been floundering of late. The relief of ending the marriage had not ended the loneliness. To tell the truth, I had been at a real low point when Tad came along. Now I realized that even as I pondered the ramifications of my relationship, there was a little voice deep inside of me that was singing. Singing with joy at having found Tad. I decided that I didn't really care what my ex-wife thought. That was the first thing. The second thing I decided was that, when the time was right, I would sit down with my children and tell them what had happened. I would tell them how I felt. I would be honest with them. I would open my heart to them and let the chips fall where they may. I was happy for the first time in a long time, and it was because of Tad. I wasn't going to let it go.

I had left Tad on Saturday morning. I made my decision on Sunday night. I didn't want to appear too eager, so I held off until Tuesday night before I called him. The phone rang twice, then his answering machine picked up. "Hi, this is Tad, leave me a message, please." I started to talk, but he picked up. "Hi Cliff," he said. "Sorry about the machine, but I'm screening my calls right now."

"Telemarketers?" I asked.

"Um, something like that. What's up?"

I was suddenly feeling awkward. Even though we'd made love, I still felt unsure of myself around him. I desperately wanted him, and I wanted him to want me. But I wasn't sure how Tad actually felt about me.

"Well, I've thought about us. I'm ready to continue with our relationship. Let's see how far it will take us." There, I'd said it. I hadn't actually told him that I was in love, but what I was feeling was certainly close to it.

"I'm glad to hear that," he said. But then he said nothing else.

"So? When can we get together? I'd really love to see you." I wondered why he was being so noncommittal.

"I'll tell you what. Call me later this week, maybe Friday night."

This struck me like a blow. Why was he putting me off? "Tad, is everything all right? I've thought about it and I want to be with you. Isn't that what you wanted?" I was starting to get upset.

Tad said, "Listen, I really like you. But I can't talk now. Call me later this week." Then he whispered into the phone, "We'll talk later this week. I promise."

"Okay," I managed to say, dumbfounded. As we hung up, I was left with the impression that someone else was with Tad, someone that he didn't want me to know about.

I managed to hold off until Friday night, but it was difficult. What I really wanted to do was confront Tad and say, "What the hell's the matter? I thought we had something!" But I managed to contain myself. On Friday evening, with (once again) trembling hands, I picked up the receiver and called. He picked up as soon as I started speaking.

"Hi Cliff," he said. He sounded okay, but maybe a little guarded.

"Hi Tad," I said. "How's it going? You left me a little worried the other night. Is everything all right?"

"Well Cliff, it's a little complicated. Look, let's meet somewhere where we can talk."

"Why don't I just come over? Or, why don't you come over here? I'll fix us a nice dinner. We'll have wine, listen to a little music and ...talk."

To my great relief, I heard Tad laugh. "Is that all you want, Cliff? To talk? Sounds like a seduction to me."

"I won't lie to you, Tad, I want you. But you're calling the shots tonight. If all you want is to talk, then that's what we'll do." I waited anxiously for his reply.

"I'll be over in twenty minutes," he said. I took a breath for the first time in five minutes.

"Great," I said. "I'll have everything ready."

"I'll bet you will," he said, and hung up.

I had already showered and put on cologne in hopes we would see each other tonight, so all I had to do was chill some wine and make some dinner. I put a nice sparkling white wine in the freezer, making a mental note to get it out before it froze. Then I put a turkey breast in the oven to roast. I set out brie and crackers, lit candles, and tossed a nice fresh salad. I made a pan of wild rice with mushrooms, and got the coconut cake I'd bought earlier that day out of the refrigerator. I brewed a pot of strong coffee as well, his favorite brand. These were all things that I knew Tad liked. I put in a CD that I also knew he liked, and had just pushed play when there was a knock at the door.

I opened the door and there he was, dressed in pressed corduroy jeans, an ecru dress shirt and his standard penny loafers. He looked great. I told him so. "Thanks," he said, giving me a big smile.

"It's so good to see you," I said.

"It's good to see you, too," he replied.

I gave him a big hug, feeling him against me, smelling his scent. He was warm and firm and he hugged me back, for which I was immensely grateful.

"There's cheese and crackers on the table, if you're hungry," I said. I suddenly remembered the wine in the freezer; thankfully it hadn't frozen. It opened with a pop, and I poured two glasses. It was a little sweet, but mainly bubbly and tart. The wine and cheese were a good match.