A Big Shiny Blue Marble Ch. 10

"Speaking of Nahl'een," she said a little loudly, as she pulled her pack to her and began to rummage through, "I was thinking as I left the inn that I ought to perhaps bring something along as a gift."

There was a quiet and startled gasp as Selena pulled out a small parcel out of her pack. Nahl'een recognized it right away as caramel.

"Do you think that she might want some of this, Ny'Zeille? I seem to have bought too much for us to eat all by ourselves, you and I. Do you think that she might like some?"

The demon chuckled as she went along with the ruse, "I think that we ought to have it after dinner, but I don't think that a little now would hurt anything. It's just that there might be a problem, since she's not here anywhere that I can see. Do you see her?"

"No," the rogue said, purposefully looking in another direction, "I don't see her anywhere."

"No, ... Ah! There she is. Come here, Nahl'een. "Ny'Zeille smiled.

But there was something wrong. The little demon stepped out very cautiously and only came a couple of feet closer. She stood there with wide eyes and the same fearful look that she'd given Selena two days earlier in the village. It took a lot of quiet coaxing from her grandmother to get Nahl'een to come to her. Even so, she hid herself behind Ny'Zeille and only peeked out around her.

"I don't understand this," Selena said, "This is the way that she looked at me in the village. I've only seen her here and there with Dahlgren. Other than in the village, I've never touched her. Until now, I haven't had the chance to speak to her. What's wrong, Nahl'een?"

The little girl only shook her head and looked more fearful.

Ny'Zeille tried with little success to get her granddaughter to do anything but cower behind her, and she even looked too frightened to be able to respond to questions.

"I will deal with this," the demon said quietly, "I'll have Shaevre show you to your room. You can take off the cloak there. Maybe that's what's scaring her, I don't know. Unpack and come back in a few minutes. Wait for me here." She spoke to the hellhound, who stood up and walked off a little, stopping to look back, waiting for Selena.

"She'll take me to my room?" Selena was a little amazed.

"Yes," her friend said, "she understands speech. Try not to think of her as you would a dog."

The rogue shrugged and picked up her pack, "I'm very sorry if I've frightened you, Nahl'een, I didn't mean to. I hope that I'll see you a little later."

She turned and walked off following Shaevre. She didn't see Nahl'een as she shook her head, as though in answer to what had been said to her. Ny'Zeille picked her up and sat her on her own lap to try to make a little sense out of what had happened. The little one looked to be almost about to cry.

Shaevre led Selena to a chamber not far off at all, and she set her pack down on the bed. She supposed that if the hellhound could understand her, then she wouldn't look like too much of a fool if she spoke to her.

"I'm really confused," she said, and the hound looked up. "I don't know what's the matter. I've hardly ever seen Nahl'een before, and she's scared out of her mind of me."

The hound's eyebrows rose and the wide forehead wrinkled a little as she stood looking back at the rogue. The thought came to Selena that the creature was just as confused as she was. There was nothing in that face which showed anything other than perhaps a little caution, but she certainly didn't see any distrust there. She saw a peg on the wall and removed her heavy cloak to hang it up.

Selena sat down on the bed heavily. She thought about it for a moment and realized that she was upset as well. She couldn't really understand the feeling. She'd seen and felt the distrust of others, and it had never been something terribly unusual for her to see that she was disliked. She'd never cared before, for the most part. It was just something that she dealt with, and it had never really bothered her before.

But it did now.

She couldn't even explain it to herself, but it was really bothering her that a little demon kid was afraid of her. She'd have thought that, if anything, it ought to maybe be the other way around.

"Would you please show me the way to get back to Ny'Zeille?" she asked a little experimentally.

The red eyes in front of her nodded and Selena smiled as the creature walked out of the room to wait for her there. They walked back and Selena could see that she'd have found her way back easily. "Thank you, Shaevre," she said, looking down at her package of candy, a forlorn little offering that no one wanted.

"I'll just wait here for Ny'Zeille. I suppose that you'd better be getting back to Nahl'een. She might need a good friend now, if she's upset and afraid."

The hellhound looked and her and nodded, turning to pad off silently. Selena wondered why that was. She'd have thought that she ought to be hearing the clicks of the beast's nails on the stone, but that wasn't the case. She sat back down on the bench and waited, looking around at the strangest building that she'd ever been inside of in her life. There was nothing really all that strange about it, she decided, it was just not the sort of place where she'd have ever considered that anyone might make their home. It was attractive, it was just sparse and open. From where she sat, she could see a long way down a couple of the wings.

She turned around about ten minutes later as Ny'Zeille walked back holding the hand of a still rather uncertain little one. Her friend stopped and Nahl'een stepped forward a little more to stand -- still far out of reach -- very nervously.

"Nahl'een is sorry," she said in a tiny voice.

"No need to be sorry, "Selena smiled as warmly as she could, "you did nothing wrong. I'm really very glad to meet you, Nahl'een. I'm the one who is sorry, if I made you afraid. My name is Selena."

Nahl'een nodded, "I know."

"Well, if you're feeling a little better now, maybe you'd like to share a little of this with me? I can see that you're still nervous, but I won't hurt you -- I really won't," the rogue smiled, "Do you want a little? I can hand it to your grandmother to give you some if you won't take it from me."

"Perhaps if you put it down between you, a little closer to her, she might take it then and bring it to me," Ny'Zeille said.

Selena nodded, but to Nahl'een she said, "May I have a little bit? I bought it for you, Nahl'een, but I always loved this stuff when I was little. Can I have some?"

Nahl'een nodded a little nervously and watched intently as Selena opened the parcel and broke off only a little piece for herself. Selena was pleased that the little girl seemed to be watching to make certain that she'd be left with quite a bit. She re-rolled the parcel and set it down as far from her in Nahl'een's direction as she could reach.

It was gone in an instant and Ny'Zeille gave a piece to her granddaughter before taking a little one for herself. She sat down next to Selena and in a few moments, Nahl'een sat cross-legged on the floor looking at them intently.

"You didn't thank Selena for thinking about you to bring you something from the shop."

"Sorry," the little one said, "Thank you, Sel-ena."

"She was so upset that I couldn't get much from her in the way of speech, "the demon said quietly, "so I asked her if I might probe her mind a little very gently. She's still a bit behind where she ought to be as far as her ability to speak is concerned, but she's getting better very quickly as she catches up. It took me a minute, but I did find something far back in her memory. I questioned her afterward, thinking that she must be wrong and assigning the memory to you, but as far as she knows and believes, she fears you because you killed her mother."

Selena's jaw dropped. She thought back over all of the time that she'd been in this odd profession of hers. She'd killed a few females along the way, but the count had been far smaller than the number of males that she'd dispatched for any number of reasons. She tried to think of any during the period of time that would seem likely, given Nahl'een's apparent age, and drew a blank. She didn't even need to consider how many female demons that she'd killed, since it was a round number.

"Ny'Zeille, I've never killed any demons at all, never mind -- "

"It's alright, my friend, "the demon smiled, "I already have my answer, and I'll tell you later after dinner. I don't want her to become upset again. Just try to be as friendly as you were here, and we'll work on it. I've already offered her sort of a plausible explanation which she's accepted. She doesn't believe me, but for now, she's better. I think it's time that we ate."

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Dinner wasn't much more than sausages with pickled and shredded cabbage, along with some potatoes, but it tasted wonderful to Selena as she sat talking with Ny'Zeille and trying to engage Nahl'een as well. It worked, partially, thought there was always something which held the little one back to mostly silent and intent observation.

After the meal, they sat in front of what her friend called the Great Fire, which seemed to Selena to be little more than a rather large fireplace, which for reasons that she couldn't determine, never needed stoking, and never seemed to require the addition of fresh firewood. Nahleen spent most of the time, partially lying on Shaevre and hugging her, while Ny'Zeille asked the rogue questions relating to her childhood.

The questions were simple things which only required some recollection on Selena's part. As far as revealing anything important or profound, she was mystified as to the purpose of it all. She could have answered these at the inn.

"You were away at school when something terrible happened at your home," Ny'Zeille said, "We needn't upset everyone with what happened, but you knew nothing about it, other than you received even fewer letters from your home. You didn't think too much about that?"

"I became a little alarmed," Selena said, "I rarely got any anyway. It costs a lot to send one. My parents didn't have a lot of coin. I only received one from my mother asking of I would be coming home for the summer. I thought that it was a strange thing to ask me. I always came home, just not the summer before since I'd found work and I was finished at the school anyway. My parents should have known that."

"Ah," Ny'Zeille said, "But something did happen. With everything that she'd been through, and all alone after the red demons left -- and your mother was very lucky that she wasn't killed then, I ought to mention -- your mother's mind began to deteriorate, you said. When you came home a long time after, she was losing the rest of it, shortly before she passed."

The demon laid her hand on Selena's knee as she leaned forward, "I'm afraid that I must tell you of something which will likely upset you at least somewhat shortly. But let's do it this way, and maybe it will help two people and not only one."

Selena had no idea what her friend was talking about now, but she turned and watched as the demon looked at Nahl'een.

"You have seen Selena before the day in the village, yes?"

"Ah-hah," she nodded cautiously.

"What do you remember of that time? It might be hard for you, little one, but remember what I said. Selena does not know you, but she would like to, and she doesn't want to hurt you. I am here anyway, Nahl'een."

"Long time ago," Nahl'een said. "Not 'member much. She-"

"Selena?" Ny'Zeille prompted.

"Ah-hah, Sel-ena came. Mother said hide. Then, ..."

"That's enough, little one," the demon smiled, motioning her over to sit on her lap to hold her before her upset overtook her.

"Demon infants can mature in some ways a lot faster than human ones," Ny'Zeille said.

"In some ways.

In others, they lag behind human babies. How old would you consider that a human child must be to be able to climb a tree that has plenty of branches to reach? Perhaps six years old? Any demon child can do that -- if there were enough things to grab onto -- at four months of age, and maybe less. She has a good memory, though she lags behind in speech. That is because for the first few years of her life, she had no one to teach her, no one for her to use as a model. Can you hide now, Nahl'een?"

Selena stared as she saw nothing on her friend's lap, other than the imprint of the child's bottom on the demon's thighs. At a word from Ny'Zeille, Nahl'een was back in sight a moment later.

"You tended to your dying mother for a day or so, Selena, and then she passed. I want you to consider that Nahl'een was there, but hidden from you in the manner that you have just seen. To her, in her simple view, what you might have done to try to help your mother was something which --in her child's interpretation, killed her mother."

"But, ... "

"Wait, Selena," the demon said softly, "I heard of what happened long afterward, that there had been red demons on a small farm. You told what you knew from what your poor mother said to you to the local sheriff. As a result of that, my son was sent to hunt those demons, but that was long after you had gone, and even longer after what had happened.

I'll tell you of my own thoughts. I believe that, while your mother was abused by those demons, she was not impregnated by them. I can say this because there is nothing in Nahl'een's blood that I can smell of red demon. Your mother was pregnant before you left for school."

"Wait a minute," the rogue said, "My father wasn't a demon."

"No," Ny'Zeille smiled, "he was not. Not any more than Nahl'een is a demon, not any more than my son is one, either. Not all half-breeds show as much as this, and many that do, choose to live here hidden. I'm not trying to insult your father's memory, or your poor mother's for that matter. All that I am suggesting is that from what I know, and from her memories, there is a bit of a doubt, which is a good thing.

We'll work on this in the morning, you and I in my questions. Perhaps I am wrong, but I have my doubts. If you wish to argue with me, however, I think that you ought to wait a little while until this little one is asleep."

She looked at Nahl'een, "Do you know what Selena is good at, Nahl'een? Do you know what she likes to do sometimes?"

Nahl'een looked at Selena and shook her head.

"Our friend Selena here is very, very good at traveling and she has always has adventures."

Selena chuckled a little nervously but she was suddenly surprised when she noticed how the little girl now looked at her.

"Maybe, if you can show her that you're brave and not afraid of her too much, she might tell you about one of her trips, would you like that?"

Selena even managed to laugh a little at the way that Nahl'een moved to sit cross-legged on the bench, leaning back on her grandmother with a rapt expression.

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"That was a bit of magic, what you did to get her to change toward me with one sentence," Selena grinned at her friend over a cup of spiced tea later.

They were still in front of the Great Fire, though Ny"Zeille now sat on the floor, leaning against Arrax as they talked. The demon's hellhound was larger than the rest, and there was something about him, Selena thought.

"Sometimes, one only has to know children," the demon smiled. "She might be half-demon and half-human, Selena, but a child is a child. There is more than enough in common between the two kinds for that. And your story was so good, my friend. You even had me hanging onto the bench when you faced the troll. I could sense that you told the truth, too. I thought that you'd just make something up out of the air."

"I might have to at some point," the rogue said, "I'll run out of stories before too long. Now, do you think that she's asleep yet? I want to pick a few holes in what you said earlier."

Ny'Zeille thought about it, sensing carefully, "I believe that she is. What did you wish to say?"

"Only that it cannot be," Selena said, "if you're right, then, ..."

"Let's just see," the demon smiled sitting up, "If you think that you can trust me a little, all that you need to do is to allow me into your thoughts with a touch. I'll show us both whether I'm right."

"Alright," Selena replied. To herself, she thought that Ny'Zeille's idea was out in the field somewhere, but she nodded, not really certain how it was to be done.

"Lie down on your back, right there on that seat," the demon said, standing up to step closer, "just lie still there, close your eyes and let me ask a question or two. You don't need to answer, in fact, it would be better if you didn't. Just allow my words to start your memory."

By now, Selena was game, intrigued a little, so she complied and Ny'Zeille sat on the edge next to her and touched her lightly on the forehead.

"Think of when you were small," she said, "Nahl'een's age and younger, if you can. Anytime when you were a child, think to see your father, at any time when he did not think that you were there watching him."

Selena could see him, the father that she still missed so much. He was working the land of the farm, doing the hundreds of daily tasks which any farmer does. She saw nothing unusual or remarkable, other than she was surprised at the richness of her thoughts.

"These are times when he knew," the demons voice said in her mind, "seek out the times when he was surprised that you were there, or better still, when he never knew that you were there."

The scenes shifted like leaves before the wind. Selena saw a time when her father was next to the cow pond, taking his clothes off as quickly as he could to wade in at what had seemed to be incredible speed to struggle with a calf which had tumbled into the mud and was almost drowned. The life of a single calf represented a treasure to the fortunes of her poor family. She saw him emerge covered in all manner of filth and stagnation, but carrying that calf. He hadn't seen her, but she'd gaped as she'd watched him wash it all off behind the barn.

He'd had a tail then. Horns too.

She remembered not being able to sleep when her brother was only three. She'd been in her bed, shaking because she'd thought that some horrible monster had gotten into her parent's bedroom for the growling and the cries of her mother. She'd repressed this for years but now she watched it again in wonder as she saw again what she has when she'd lain in her bed shaking in fear, listening to the sounds of her parents making love in the way that was normal -- for a human woman deeply in love with a man who was also half-demon.

There were other scenes which came to her in rapid succession, but overall, she remembered her father as the kind and quiet man that he'd been, who'd always been very shy whenever the harvest fair came around, because her father had always been the strongest man in the area of the village. He just never said a word about it, and her mother had never said anything about the way that he could make her scream out at night sometimes.

Now she knew why.

"My -- My brother, ..."

"From what I saw, he received almost nothing from the pairing which made him, "Ny'Zeille said quietly, "It varies, what comes through, like anything else. A brown cow mated by a white bull with black spots, sometimes gives a calf which shows nothing of one parent.

"What about, ... "She looked up at her friend, "me?"

"Well that," the demon said, lowering her head with a smile to leave a kiss upon Selena's forehead, just as she often did to Nahl'een, "That is something which we need to find out -- and we will, my dear friend.

But while this does much as far as what I wished to know is concerned, I think that you have some things to think about -- some rather profound things, such as the way that you look at demons and others.