A Broken Woman Can Still Heal

Greer looked at her for a few moments and then nodded. "No, that's fine. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. No one should have to endure being hurt by someone who is supposed to love them." Then she turned the conversation to other matters, asking about the work she had done at the bank. It didn't take much longer for Greer to know that Shae was the right one. But she would have to go through the process and talk with Julia and then have Shae's references checked. She hoped that it would go quickly and would support hiring Shae.

Although Greer hated herself for thinking it, she also realized that Shae's background meant that she probably was unlikely to find a relationship in the near future that interfered with work. She didn't seem the type who habitually moved from bad relationship to bad relationship. Having had a revolving door of assistants, Greer wanted someone reliable and Shae seemed to fit the bill.

Having become familiar with interviews since moving to Seattle, Shae knew that it was hard to tell how well an interview was going. Still it felt good. While it hadn't been easy to be open with Julia, Shae didn't want that secret coming out and ruining her chances. Now she found that while Greer was probably a demanding boss, Shae liked her. She could see herself working hard and giving extra effort to satisfy Greer.

And it would be nice to have a female boss. Most of her temporary positions were supervised by men and Shae found it a little difficult at times. Only one had behaved inappropriately and she quit that position the day he propositioned her. But even when they were completely professional, she got nervous whenever she was in close proximity with them. She could do it, but Shae thought that it would be easier with a woman.

As Greer finished writing some notes, Shae took the opportunity to look at her. She guessed that Greer was in her late forties, but only because she had a little grey in her otherwise dark hair and a few smile wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. She obviously exercised because her arms and legs had nice muscle definition from what Shae had seen. She was dressed with impeccable taste and Shae envied the grace with which she held herself. While not big breasted, they seemed perfect for her tall and lean body. While she had a lovely face, it was her eyes that Shae found most striking. They were grey and felt piercing when she fixed Shae with her gaze. Fortunately they were not so intimidating when she smiled and she did that a lot.

"Well Shae, I think that is almost it. Oh, wait one more thing. It is unusual, but occasionally it is necessary for this position to travel. Is there anything that would make that a problem?" Greer asked in her low and husky voice. Shae wished she had a voice like that.

"Not at all. I don't have anything that makes that difficult, even at short notice," Shae replied.

"Good. As I said, it is unusual. I don't think I have needed someone to do that in a couple of years, but it never hurts to check. Well I have enjoyed talking with you. I need to talk with Julia. We will be making a decision in the next couple of days, so you should hear back from us one way or another in the near future," Greer said to wrap up the conversation. "Let me walk you back to her office and then she can escort you out."

Coming out from behind her desk, Greer led the way. Once again, Shae found herself admiring the older woman. As she walked, Greer's body was almost fluid and Shae noticed that her ass was quite attractive. She blushed a little bit and averted her eyes to continue to present a professional image. When Greer reached the HR Manager's office, she turned and put out her hand to shake Shae's. Greer had a very firm grip as she took Shae's dainty hand in hers. Greer didn't put much force into it but still it conveyed strength. Shae admired that strength but didn't try to echo it.

"Thank you again for your time, Shae," Greer said, turning away to head back towards her office. Just before she went around the corner, she glanced back at Shae who was still standing at Julia's door. She admired the willowy figure for just a second. Then she continued on shaking her head and laughing at herself.

Shae and Julia chatted as they headed out past the front desk. As Shae waited to the elevator to come, she looked over at Julia. "You have my references. They are all from here in Seattle. I wish I could get one from the bank back in North Carolina, but my boss there was another one of my husband's relations." She bit her lip for a second. "If you want the contact information for my lawyer or even the prosecutor, I can give you those. If you have any questions; you know about what happened."

Julia thought Shae had almost a haunted look as she made the offer. It was as if the ghost of what she had done was there before her. For a moment, Julia hesitated. She wanted to turn down the offer, but would she be doing her job if she did? Finally, she nodded. "I'm sorry, Shae. I really wish I didn't need to but it's my responsibility to check out applicants."

Nodding her understanding, Shae pulled a folded piece of paper out of her case. She wanted to be prepared once she made the decision to bring it up. As the elevator dinged and opened, she handed it to Julia. She put her hand out to stop the elevator from closing. "Thank you for your consideration, Julia. I appreciate it and hope that you will be able to wholeheartedly recommend hiring me. I know I would do a great job." She stepped into the elevator. The door was closed before she even finished turning around. Shae took a deep breath and pushed the ground floor door. "Well Bob, now we will see if you can still really screw up my life," she thought as the elevator descended.

It wasn't quite her normal lunch time, but Shae decided to stop and get something to eat before catching the bus home. She found a little hole in the wall Asian restaurant that served noodles. She was still watching her pennies but it wasn't very expensive. She took out a book she was reading and tried to do that instead of dwelling on the interview and job.

She had a couple of errands to run in the neighborhood before finally stopping at the local grocery store to pick up something for dinner. She was in the produce section when her phone went off. She recognized the number as Julia and hurriedly answered it. After a few seconds, her face went from apprehensive to a beautiful beaming smile. They spoke for a few minutes as Julia explained their offer and asked when Shae thought she could start.

"Tomorrow would be fine!" Shae said in an excited voice. "I don't have anything else going on but I understand if you need a few days to handle paperwork."

"Normally I would suggest waiting until next Monday, but I know that Greer has a lot to get done and could use the help. Sure, if you want to start in the morning that will work for us. How about you show up at 8:30? That will give me enough time to get everything done," Julia was smiling as she talked. Shae's enthusiasm was infectious.

"Great! I will see you then, Julia. Goodbye!" Shae waited until Julia had hung up before she let out a little whoop. Her cheeks blushed as a few other customers looked over at her but she didn't mind the attention for once. "I got it!" she kept thinking. She kept that smile the whole evening.

********

Hearing a light tap at her door, Greer smiled and looked up. She could always tell Shae's tap from anyone else's. Beyond just hearing it more, it was always very light so that Shae would not disturb her thought process. If Greer was deep in thought, Shae would just stand there waiting until Greer finished what she was doing. It was just one of the ways she had QAadapted to fit Greer's style. Although she appreciated many things about Shae, it was one of the top reasons Greer was thankful that she had hired Shae.

"It's Matthews. He's on the phone and wants to know when the drafts will be ready for him to review," Shae said. Even though it was summer and a warm day, she was wearing her usual long skirt with a conservative blouse. The only concession to the heat was the half sleeve. Her hair framed her lovely face as she waited for Greer's response.

It was at times like that Greer found Shae the most distracting. Even though she never dressed in a way that could be described as sexy, her intrinsic beauty was always there. And Greer wasn't blind to it. When they were working together or Shae was busy with something, Greer didn't notice it as much. But when she was still for a rare moment, she could be stunning. And as hard as Greer tried not to notice, sometimes she couldn't help it. After giving Shae the information that she needed, Greer watched Shae as she turned around and returned to her desk. Her perfect ass was swaying in the most delightful way as she walked.

"Stop it, Greer!" she said to herself. It wasn't like her to ogle a co-worker. Greer always tried to behave in the most professional way. And while it wasn't a secret that she was a lesbian, it rarely ever came up. She kept her private life out of the office so there was relatively little for others to gossip about her. She was also very aware that as a senior member of the firm, there were rules about proper behavior especially with subordinates. The last thing that she wanted was for anyone to accuse her of harassment. It was something that was in the back of her mind, that another woman might think that Greer was coming on to her and complain. Since homophobia was very much frowned on now, it was harder to tell those who really found it offensive. It was much easier to just try and never give anyone the opportunity.

With Shae, Greer found it harder than she could remember before. And for some of the same reasons that she felt it was inappropriate. Beyond Shae's beauty, she had a vulnerability that made Greer's heart want to open up to her. In the few months that Shae had worked for her, Greer had figured out that Shae's marriage had probably been worse than Greer had guessed. Sometimes when someone shut a file cabinet hard or surprised her, Greer noticed that Shae flinched like she was always expecting a blow to land. Shae also didn't interact with the rest of the staff on a personal level, even with those who had similar jobs. She brought her lunch and would eat it at her desk while continuing to work. When one of them would ask her to join them for drinks after work, Shae was unfailingly polite but always turned down the offer for one reason or another. She seemed lonely to Greer but unable to do anything about it. When Greer thought about it, wistful was the word that most applied to Shae.

But Shae's vulnerability was exactly why Greer would chastise herself when her thoughts turned to how desirable Shae was. "She is a sweet woman who was taken advantage of and hurt. The last thing that she needs is her boss, twice her age, lusting after her. I'm her supervisor, damn it! Even if she had the slightest interest, it would be taking advantage of her. Not to mention, she isn't interested! She is straight!" Greer would think at those moments.

What made it worse was Shae's obvious admiration for Greer. It was clear from early on that Shae thought that the world of Greer. Shae was not used to someone who treated her as an intelligent and capable person. The respect that Greer gave her just fed Shae dedication to her boss. Shae was determined to never let Greer down. She worked long hours and weekends to make sure that she accomplished whatever Greer needed done. And she came back for more; always asking "Is there anything else you would like me to do?" Burying the inappropriate thoughts that would often spring to mind, Greer would take a look at what she was working on and parcel out something of value for Shae to do.

Now that it had been a few months though, it was becoming easier. Shae had made few friends in the office. Greer also rarely acted as someone superior to Shae, even when she was giving her direction. All that combined with the time they were spending together led them to develop a good friendship. It was mostly limited to the office, as Greer thought it would be best. But late in the day or when working on the weekends and they were taking a break, they would sometimes talk. It concerned Greer that Shae seemed to have little going on in her life outside work. She understood why Shae might not want to date, but she wasn't doing much exploring in her new city or the surrounding areas.

Greer took it on as a project to try and suggest that Shae do something new each week. She would tell her about a museum or a park, help make sure that Shae knew how to get there and back, and then they would talk about it afterwards. At first reticent, Shae was soon eagerly waiting to tell Greer about her latest adventure on each Monday morning. Every once in a while, Greer would pick her up and take her somewhere that was a little more difficult to take public transit. During the summer, these were often hikes. Greer enjoyed introducing Shae to the wild areas that were still so close to a large city.

It was on one of these hikes that Shae let her past slip out. Although it had been cool when they started, it got warm before long. Greer shed her light coat and put it into her daypack, but Shae continue on without taking hers off. Even though the trail was through the forest, it was humid from the soil and it became warmer and warmer. Looking back at Shae, Greer could see the sweat dripping down her face. Just below Shae's daypack, Greer could see a dark patch where her sweat had soaked through.

"Hey Shae, I think you need to take that coat off. You are going to get overheated if you don't," Greer said. She got out the water and handed it to Shae.

Shae tried to say that she was fine but under the stern eye of Greer realized how ridiculous that sounded. She took a long drink first then after handing it back to Greer, she pulled it off. When she dressed that morning, she hadn't been thinking about the weather and had put on a tank top. Although it had a wide strap, it still exposed her arms up by the shoulder. In all the months she had been around Greer, she had never done that. She couldn't hide the scars from Bob's cigarettes any more. Shae felt a flush of embarrassment.

Greer couldn't help notice the three scars on Shae's upper arms. They were little brownish puckered marks on her otherwise smooth pale skin. Her eyes were drawn to them but moved away after a moment. Greer's lips pursed and she looked grim. Unconsciously she glanced at the little mark on Shae's cheek. On its own, it wasn't very noticeable and would probably be thought by most as a remnant of a childhood injury. But Greer could put two and two together. The fact that it had faded a little more in the time since Shae joined the firm meant it was recent.

Shae grew more embarrassed and unexpectedly felt her eyes tear up a little. Although Greer avoided touching co-workers, outside work she was a warm person who was often in physical contact with her friends. She couldn't help herself as she reached out and ran her hand up and down Shae's arm. She could feel the marks of the two scars on that arm as her hand went over them.

"No one should ever treat another the way you were treated, Shae," Greer said in a low tone. Her outrage and sympathy for what Shae had been through was obvious in her voice. "But he was to blame, not you. You shouldn't ever feel like you need to hide those or feel embarrassed about them. You didn't ask for them. You are an amazing woman, Shae. I admire you, going through that and still being who you are." Greer voice gained enthusiasm and she smiled at Shae. Patting her on the shoulder, Greer moved away and put the water away.

"You know Shae, if you ever need to talk, I will always be willing to lend an ear," Greer looked over at the young woman. Shae didn't seem embarrassed now but had a thoughtful look. After a moment, she returned Greer's look.

"I know you will, Greer," Shae said hesitantly. "It's hard to talk about though. I don't like to think about it."

"I can see that, but sometimes talking about helps a person to get over it," Greer replied. "But Shae of course it is only if and when you are ready." Pulling on her pack, she started walking up the path again. After a moment, Shae continued as well.

After another 30 minutes, they broke out of the closed in forest and found themselves walking through meadows in the sun. The heavy feeling of the humid woods disappeared. The path widened a bit and Shae caught up with Greer. For a while they walked along side one another in silence. The sun felt good on their shoulders, especially when it was joined by a cooling breeze.

"I never thought it would be like that," Shae broke the silence. "We started dating after I graduated from high school. He was a couple years older than me but we met at a church function. He seemed like a good sort and when he asked me out, I thought why not. I hadn't really dated before. I wanted to go to college but I needed to earn some money first. With my job at the bank, I wasn't going anywhere. And it seemed like everyone expected me to date someone, especially my aunt. It was easy to go out with Bob."

Shae went quiet again. As they came up to a little stream running across the meadow, Greer took the lead and went across the planks laid over it. Rather than moving on, Greer waited for Shae to cross and then continued side by side. After a little while, Shae continued talking.

"I don't know how I never saw his violent side the whole time we dated. Later I heard some stories about his getting into fights, but he never showed it with me. When I was twenty, he asked me to marry him. I don't know why I said yes. I liked him, but I don't think I loved him. But I tried to be as good a wife as possible," Shae trailed off as her thoughts returned to those days. Some things she was not ready to share.

The trail started to get steep as the highest point of the hike approached. They had to go one after another and soon found the pace a little too hard for talking. Shae was thinking anyhow and welcomed the pause. When they crested, she looked down at the small alpine lake and smiled at Greer. It was very lovely and she was glad that Greer had talked her into it. They made their way down to the shore and sat down as Greer pulled out the sandwiches she had prepared.

After finishing eating, Shae sat looking out over the lake. It was quiet, just a little lapping of water and the occasional cry of an animal. She was very still.

"It started when he lost his job. And while money was tight, it always seemed to be enough for him to drink. And I think that hurting me made him feel better about himself," Shae's voice was cold. "And no one cared. No one did anything. When he broke my arm, nothing happened. No one said anything; other than my aunt who told me to try not to anger him and be a better wife."

Turning to look at Greer, Shae's face was calm. "One night he came home stinking drunk and angry. He started to hit me, hard across the face. After he knocked me to the ground, he kicked me repeatedly in the belly. I guess he forgot I was pregnant. Then he said he was really going to show me and went and grabbed his baseball bat. I ran to the bedroom and locked the door. I thought maybe he would calm down but he just got wilder.

Shae closed her eyes, remembering that night. "I thought he was going to kill me. I was so scared. I went to the closet, where he had his shotgun. I yelled at him to leave me alone. I told him I had it. And when he knocked open the door and came at me, I pulled the trigger." She fell silent.

Greer stayed quiet too but she reached to take Shae's hand in hers and squeezed it. Shae just sat for a while, eyes closed, with her hand in Greer's not even returning the pressure.