A Christmas Wish Ch. 02

Josh knew it had to be Amber because of the bulge beneath the sheet. "Oh God, it can't be. Tell me this isn't happening." He said as the doctor escorted him to the gurney and pulled the bloodstained sheet back revealing the face of the woman beneath it.

"Oh God! What am I gonna tell my wife?" Josh cried and then fainted after telling the doctor her name.

When Josh came to, he was in a chair and his wife was by his side. She knew the fate of her sister but had yet to see her. "I want to say goodbye. I have to see her." She cried to her husband who stood with her when the sheet was once again pulled back. "The baby? What about the baby?" She cried again as she hugged her sister's body. "Oh Amber, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She sobbed as the doctors took her back to her room.

~~~~

Megan was released that afternoon with strict orders for her aftercare. "We are never going to have children of our own are we?" Megan asked her husband as he carried her into the house. "We have to let mom know about Amber," she added in a somber tone, grieving for her sister and her baby.

Josh held Megan as he unlocked the door then entered the living room. He walked to the stairs to take her to their bedroom, but she insisted she wanted to stay down stairs.

"Just put me on the sofa. I want to be down here when mom comes over," she said, trying to think of what she was going to say to her mother.

"Oh, my baby girl. Are you all right?" Megan's mom asked when she arrived at the house.

"I'm okay mom, but Amb - -" she began to say but broke down in a pool of tears on her mother's shoulder. "It's all my fault. If I 'd waited for the paramedics to come she'd still be here with us. If I would have been more careful and paid attention I would have seen- -" she trailed off hating herself for the death of her sister.

"Nothing is your fault, dear. You were concerned about your sister and did what came naturally. I would have done the same thing if I were in your shoes, Megan. Oh, it's gonna be all right dear, just let it out. That's it; just let it all out. I'm here for you, baby girl," her mother said as they cried together.

After hours of sobbing and blaming herself for the accident, Megan eventually fell asleep. Her mother slid over and covered her daughter with the throw that lay on the arm of the sofa then headed into the kitchen to speak with Josh.

"How are you holding up, Josh?"

"I'm doing okay now, I guess. I couldn't believe it when my boss came and told me there was a cop on the phone. An accident never even entered my mind as to the reason for their call." He said then reached for the pot of coffee and two mugs. He gave the first mug to Peggy and returned to the table with the second mug for himself. "The important thing is how are you holding up?"

"Oh, I'm getting by," Peggy replied, wiping more tears from her eyes. "I'm more concerned about Megan."

"When I got to the hospital Megan was alert, but she still had no idea about Amber and the baby. Oh, mom, I wished right then and there I could have taken her sister's spot. I'd give anything to have her and the baby here instead of me." He began to cry.

"There, there son. Megan needs you here with her. You will grieve together and then eventually move on." Peggy gave him a comforting hug, finding it easier to hold herself together if she concentrated on Josh and Megan.

"But the baby? This was our last chance of having a child. I'm not sure Megan is going to come out of all this wanting to adopt."

"You are probably going to think it's too soon or that I'm rushing things, but we have to begin arrangements for the burials. I will call the funeral home and start things, but they are gonna want to speak with you about a casket for the baby. Unless you want the baby buried with Amber."

"I don't think Meg would want to put Amber through that, do you? Oh, listen to me. I guess I can't get over the fact that she is dead. She wouldn't feel a thing, would she? But still, I can't hear Megan say she'd want the baby's body removed from Amber. I will talk with her when she's awake, okay?"

~~~~

"What on earth was she thinking?" Megan asked Josh when he told her about the conversation he had with her mother while she was asleep. "I would never want Amber to go through that, even if she supposedly can't feel anything. It was her baby as much as it was ours. The baby stays with her and I don't want to discuss it any further," Megan shouted in anger, but more in sadness as the memory of the accident rushed back to her. "If mom wants help with the arrangements we will help her, but they stay together. Do you hear me? I hope you agree with me on this."

The funeral arrangements were made and the service was held four days after the accident. Josh did his best to console Megan and her mother during the service but when they returned home he lost all control. He didn't know what to do or where to turn. He'd lost yet another child. As he thought back to the many miscarriages his wife had he didn't recall the pain, the emptiness, the loneliness, ever feeling like this before. Josh took the remainder of the week off from work to be with his family.

As time passed Josh returned to work and Megan was beginning to drift away. The Christmas holiday passed without a gift shared or a tree decorated. Peggy called her daughter to wish her a Merry Christmas but repeatedly got the answering machine. Josh and Megan were still grieving.

~~~~~

"It's been eleven months since the accident mom, but she still refuses to talk about her feelings with me." Josh phoned his mother-in-law to ask her advice about Megan. "I found a support group but she refuses to attend the meetings. She has buried herself in her work and we hardly ever talk anymore. I don't know how long I can deal with this. I understand she is hurting, but so am I," Josh whimpered, unable to contain his emotions any longer.

He let all his pent up emotions spill out at that moment, revealing private things about their sex life, or the lack of it. "Every time I try to get close to her she pulls away. It's like she blames me for what happened because I wasn't there to answer the phone when she called that morning. I just don't know where to go or what to do to help her anymore. I can't take the loneliness and honestly, I've been thinking of asking for a divorce, since she obviously doesn't want to be with me anymore."

"I understand and I will have a talk with her tomorrow. I'll pick her up for lunch and we'll have a heart to heart talk. We haven't done that in a while." Peggy knew exactly how he felt because she had done the same thing to her husband after she'd miscarried a child.

Megan was headed to work when her phone rang. "Hello."

"Hi Megan, it's mom. I'm coming over to have lunch with you today. Don't worry; I've cleared the afternoon with your boss. He agrees with me that you've been working way too hard. I'll pick you up at noon today," Before Megan could give a reply the line went silent.

"Damn her. Doesn't she see that I don't want to talk to anyone? Doesn't she realize that's why I've been ignoring her and everyone else all this time? No one understands me, what I'm doing and why I have to do it," she mumbled to herself angrily.

"Oh, this is a nice place," Peggy said as she and Megan followed the hostess to their table then continued. "They have good food and quick service so I won't keep you all day and when we are finished you can go home and spend some quality time with your husband," she told her daughter who still somewhat ignored her.

"Okay. That's it. I've tried to be understanding of your loss, but you aren't the only one who lost something that horrible day. I lost a daughter and a grandchild. Your husband lost a friend and his child too. So get off your pity boat and take care of your husband, or he is going to leave you." Her mother spoke sternly, yet lovingly. She knew it was time for her daughter to stop thinking of herself and make time for others who shared in her grief.

"Oh mom, I'm sorry. I guess I just didn't see anyone else's pain through my own. I know Josh has to be suffering with this as much as I am. I will go talk with him tonight when he gets home from work."

~~~~~

The drive home allowed Megan time to think of what she'd done to her husband and mother since the loss of her sister and unborn child. She thought of all the times they could have helped one another through this tragedy they all shared. "How could I have been so selfish?" she thought to herself as she neared her home.

When she turned the corner that led to their house she noticed Josh's car in the driveway. "Mom was right. He is here for me. He's always been here for me. I just hope I can make things right between us again. I don't want to lose him, too. I just couldn't bear losing the only man I've ever loved." She wept to herself as she pulled into the long drive.

As her car came to a stop she shifted into park, got out and without even closing the door behind her, ran into the house to find Josh. He lay so peaceful on the sofa that she hesitated to wake him, but she wanted to talk, really talk with him this afternoon. Not just talk to him like she had for the past year.

She set her purse on the dining room table and walked to the foyer to hang her coat in the closet. With the thud her coat made when it hit the floor Josh jumped up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Megan said as she gazed at her husband.

"So how was lunch with your mom?" he asked as he stood to help her with her coat.

"Lunch went fine." Megan slid her hand in his and smiled lovingly at him and they walked back to the sofa.

"I've been so hard on you, and I'm truly sorry, Josh. I guess I just never thought this was as hard on you as it was on me. Mom had a nice long talk with me and made me understand how my actions have pushed you away. I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you? Is there still a chance for a future for the two of us?" Megan's emotions, now sympathetic towards her husband, poured out of her.

"I love you more than anything Josh. It just took my mom to make me realize that today. I can't live without you in my life."

"I love you too, Meg, but it's been a long time, and I am still hurting. You've pushed me so far away I don't know if we can get back to where we were before all this happened." He bowed his head in his hands.

"Is it because of the accident? You think it's my fault that we lost the baby, don't you?" Megan began to take offense instantly.

"No! Stop saying that! I don't blame you. You didn't do anything wrong. Just stop it now!" he yelled at her as his fists clenched in anger. "I'm hurting because you wouldn't let me help you. Not because I blame you for anything. I'm hurting because you pushed me away instead of going through this mess together as a loving couple should." He paused to gather his thoughts.

Megan released his hand, stood and walked a few steps away from him, "Oh God! What have I done to us? Why am I like this? It's been too long to still be feeling this pain, this anger and the emptiness. I wish it were me that died instead of my sister, then you and mom wouldn't have had to go through all this for so long," She sobbed and fell to the chair across from the sofa.

This wasn't how Josh wanted her to feel, but he was glad she let her emotions show. He knew she was still suffering, but he didn't know exactly how. "This is the first step to recovery, baby," he told her. He walked to her, scooped her in his arms and brought her back to the sofa.

"Let it out sweetheart, let it all go. It's time to move on," he whispered. He pushed her hair from her eyes, grasped her face with both hands and pulled her to his chest.

"I still love you if that's what you are worried about. I never stopped loving you sweetheart," his words rang softly in her ear.

~~~~

Josh believed he finally had his wife back. The woman he'd fallen in love with so long ago was finally back with him. He felt at peace for the first time since the news of the accident and he felt joy in his heart once again.

"We will make this work baby, don't worry," he whispered into her ear as he scooted off the sofa and scooped her in his arms.

Josh carried her up the stairs to their bedroom. He laid her on the bed and slid in beside her. With soft gentle kisses he began at her temple and across her forehead, down to her eyes. This time she didn't pull away. Instead she pressed her body against his. She felt the warmth of his body and it soothed her. For the first time in almost a year, his touch actually excited her. She felt relaxed and at ease.

Still fully clothed, Josh and Megan began to reunite. Megan stunned him when she began to slide her trembling hands beneath his shirt and he felt her loving touch once again.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asked, his breath heavy with the excitement he'd longed for.

"I've neglected you for too long already, Josh. Please let me do this for you?" she asked, her voice deep with desire and compassion.

She rolled him onto his back and straddled his waist as she continued to remove his clothing. Her hands were trembling when she reached for the waistband of his jeans and she heard him chuckle quietly.

"Oh, you think that's funny do you?" she asked, tickling his sides; her arousal deepening with the sensations he delivered as he squirmed beneath her.

When Josh tried to roll her off him, she pushed him back to the bed and resumed removing his jeans. In one motion, she brought his jeans and boxers down to his ankles. She pulled off his shoes without untying them, and then pulled his jeans and underwear off, tossing them to the side and running her hands up his muscular legs.

"You have me at an unfair advantage," he breathed, feeling her warms hands wrap around his rapidly growing shaft.

"How so?" she replied, watching as the clear droplets of his arousal formed at the tip of his engorged member.

"You're still dressed," he hissed, drawing in a harsh breath when he felt her lips wrap around the head of his cock.

He thrust his hips upward, pushing deeper into the sweet, warm wetness of her mouth. She held his hips with her hands as her supple lips molded around his girth.

"God --- Megan --- " he breathed, feeling himself dangerously close to release.

Megan felt his body tremble and brought one hand up to caress his sac, feeling his body jerk from the sensations she was creating with her fingers and her mouth.

"Get those clothes off woman!" Josh demanded. She paid him no attention. "Unless you want dessert before your dinner I'd suggest you ease off Meg dear," he added as his feeble attempt to get away failed. But she got the hint that time and released his length slowly, deliberately teasing him all the while as her tongue tickled the sensitive underside of his shaft.

She slid to his side and he rolled on top of her. Aroused beyond control, he tore her clothes to shreds. He consumed the vision that lay before him with all his senses on fire.

Megan hadn't seen this side of her husband since their honeymoon, she loved it. "Oh baby; yes," she growled as his assault took their passion to a new level.

Once her clothes had been removed, Josh rose and stood between her ivory thighs. He leaned down, and with her legs entwined in his muscular arms; he pulled her to the edge of the mattress as he gazed upon her beauty. Yes, after all this time he still thought of her as beautiful, and he wanted her, craved her, and most of all, loved her.

Josh knelt between her thighs and inhaled the delicious scent that fragranced the air before he teased her. Merely the warmth of his breath caused her to squirm. Her hips rose, inviting him further. She wanted more. She wanted to feel her husband's mouth against her hot sex. She whimpered in ragged pleas for him to devour her, but he wasn't quite finished with the tease yet. She'd done it to him and now it was payback time.

His tongue darted out gently at first, however, picked up force as he dove into her quivering wetness. He could feel her muscles tighten around the pointed spear when he pressed against her sensitive spot.

Megan grabbed handfuls of sheet on either side of her as Josh teased and tortured her sex. When he thought she could handle no more he slowly relaxed his tongue and let it slide from her. Delicate kisses guided him toward her full, lustrous lips as he positioned himself over her once again.

Her tired legs grasped his shoulders and she crossed her ankles behind his head. This allowed her to relax a bit, yet be ready to pull him deeper when the time came.

Josh positioned the head of his throbbing shaft at her slick opening and embedded his entire length effortlessly. In the stillness he felt her clench him.

She felt his girth stretch her as quivering muscles succumbed to the unfamiliar, yet thrilling invasion. The slightest movement of her clenches drove him insane with desire. He had to have her, now. It had been so long a wait for this moment to finally arrive and he hated to let it pass so quickly, but he was in pain, he needed release.

With each thrust Josh brought Megan closer to her peak. The engorged spongy tip of his cock grazed against her g-spot with just the right amount of pressure and it didn't take long before she was swimming in waves of ecstasy as her orgasm washed over her.

As he pummeled into her she hugged him tighter with her legs and lifted her ass to take him deeper. That single movement took him over the edge and from deep within he felt the jolt of pure pleasure surge through him. One last thrust and he pulled back hard, releasing his rigid spurting shaft from its confines.

Megan lifted her head as she watched his seed squirt rapidly from the slit in the spongy head. Trails of glossy liquid covered her stomach and breasts, and then he collapsed on top of her. His chest was heaving from the powerful experience and his head spun in tremendous content.

"How are you feeling, Darling?" Josh asked as his breathing normalized. The scent of passion lingered in the air.

"I couldn't be better! That was wonderful, baby," Megan replied as she returned from the high of her release. "I just have one question though. Why did you pull out so soon?"

"I didn't want you to have any more worries, you know, about what the doctor had said about becoming pregnant again. I wanted to give us both the release we so desperately needed, but without the concerns that followed," Josh said as he pulled his wife in for another heated kiss. It went deeper than he expected it would after such a workout, but he wasn't going to complain.

~~~~

A year after the accident, Megan called her doctor to schedule an appointment for a full physical and to discuss methods of planned parenthood. "It's not that we want to plan it doctor, it's that we want to avoid a pregnancy. Like you said a few years ago, you didn't think my body could handle carrying a child full term and it might have adverse effects on my child and me."

"Josh doesn't want me to have a hysterectomy and I don't want him to have a vasectomy so we were wondering about the complications of the pill?"

After a long talk with her doctor they decided the pill would be her best option. He gave her a seven-day sample pack to start her off and a prescription to last six months. "I'll see you back here just before the prescription runs out Megan."

~~~~~

Megan and Josh's lives returned to normal. They both returned to work and their marriage was back on track. They celebrated the holidays with family and friends again.

"It feels god to be living life again, especially with you, Josh," Megan said as they prepared for a vacation after the New Year. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather stay here in the states and save the money?"

"Are you kidding me? I can't think of anything more important than starting over with you and I have the perfect place in mind. You just relax and leave everything up to me. We have plenty of money so don't worry your pretty little head about that, okay?" Josh replied as he parked his car at the airport and retrieved the luggage from the trunk, stealing a kiss along the way.