A Complicated LIfe

We had set up our tent in a pine grove after riding in his black SUV for nearly 100 miles. A few feet to our left a picnic table provided by management of the camp ground and our portable Coleman stove would serve as a kitchen. The temperature at 7 pm was a comfortable, dry 70 degrees with a slight breeze. As a much younger boy I had camped at this same state forest with my dad. Now as a young adult of twenty five camping provided the relaxation that I enjoyed.

Darrel and I had met on a warm evening in May at the start of softball season. The five foot eight brunette with an athletic build had just signed on to play his first season and I, my third season.

We sat across from one another attention focused on the hard wood, large chess pieces. Both of us shared a passion for the game, having started playing as fairly young children. I had learned it from my dad and he from extended family members. Anyway at that moment it was my 14th move with the black pieces.

That night after the first softball game a month earlier we got to know each other somewhat over a couple of beers at a local bar. We had been running around together since.

At 23 Darrel had recently taken a job at the New Port News Virginia shipyard where he worked as a pipe fitter. He had told me that he enjoyed working there and felt proud to be doing something for his country.

"I believe it's your move."

"Yes," I replied. At this moment I had a rare instance of being distracted from the game. A few minutes had passed. Normally I would have played much more quickly than five minutes per move which I had already taken.

I had for the past year or so become more and more curious about how sex with another man would feel. I wanted to think that it could only feel good. At the same time this was a side of me that I would have to keep to myself. For the past few days I had been cruising Darrel while he was looking the other way unaware.

His dark hair framed his square face. His full lips and brown eyes and straight nose cut a handsome figure. Some where deep in my subconscious words like hot and gorgeous described him.

Life can be complicated sometimes especially when there's a girl involved. Her name was Melanie Patterson. Melanie and I had been dating for a year since meeting at the office. The tall, shapely auburn haired girl and I began our relationship having coffee together. After a few days of this we went on our first date, a movie. She was not my first girlfriend but being with her felt good. Even so my attraction to another man was an issue.

"Melanie bought herself an HD tv."

"Really," he replied, "I thought she doesn't like tv."

"There's a few shows she watches."

I had few details of Darrel's past. I knew that he grew up in Tidewater region and that he had attended a vocational high school. He had said nothing of past friendships, only that he has a brother four years older and a sister two years older. I knew that he enjoyed swimming in Va. beach. He had sailed a catamaran. Most of our conversation had been about sports and our softball games, some about tv or movies.

Both avid baseball fans, we had the radio tuned to a Baltimore Orioles game. I think they were losing but that didn't matter. It was still entertaining.

As the game came to completion I shut the radio rather than listen to the recap of another loss. My friend and I retired into the tent bringing the radio with us. Darrel sat on his blanket spread over his air mattress wearing only a pair of briefs. I was cruising him. For the first time since we met he was aware of it but seemed not to object. After a few long seconds had passed I watched as his hand slid down into his briefs and take his member. At that moment I realized that I could turn my fantasy into reality.

Removing my shirt, my pants and my underpants I presented my naked body to him. The the tell tale bulge in his briefs resembles a tent pole I thought. Our lips met and we began to caress each other from shoulders down to thighs. My own penis stiffened. He eased me down to the mattress. From on my back I put my arms around his shoulders and pulled my feet up hs shins. HIs throbbing member pushed against mine. Darrel rolled me onto my left side, pushed his raging hardon into my hole and pumped me. The pleasure was intense.

This was more than just a walk on the wild side. From that moment as we made love I knew that the relationship with Melanie was finished. All I needed to do was tell her.

In the morning after a night's sleep cuddled next to each other I crawled out from the tent at six leaving my new boyfriend still asleep. Walking over to the faucet I thought about us, and about Melanie. I still liked her but I no longer wanted her sexually. I wanted Darrel.

The coffee was almost ready when he crawled out from the tent and sat across the table from me.

"I've been gay all my life."

"As of last night so am I," I replied.

"What are you going to tell that girlfriend?"

"That' it's over," I answered.

Monday morning at the office started out the way it always did. Melanie stopped by my office in payroll in a cheerful mood which was typical for her.

"How was your camping trip?"

"It was good."

I knew that I needed to say something about Darrel and me but this was not the time. I was beginning to feel uneasy around her.

"I'd love to go up to the mountains."

The skyline drive overlooking the Shenandoah Valley had always been one of her favorite places The trouble was she wanted to be on a date with me while I would prefer being there on a date with the boyfriend.

"I've got to go to work. I'll see you tonight." she said.

I nodded. It would be the opportunity at least to say that I'm breaking up. At that point I did not have the nerve to say anything about Darrel.

I went down to the cafeteria at noon as I did every work day and met her there for lunch. We took a table by the window. What ever else happened I could still think of Melanie as a good friend. At the same time I knew that she probably would want a clean break. Dam I thought. I had to be attracted sexually to another man while dating a nice girl.

I chewed slowly at my sandwich; swiss cheese and smoked ham with roasted red pepper in french bread. I took a drink from my Dasani 20 oz bottle. Melanie was eating a tuna on rye and washing it down with a diet Coke.

This relationship can't go anywhere I thought.

"Do you like this outfit I'm wearing?"

"Yeah," I answered, "it looks nice."

"I bought it Saturday. I was getting tired of what I have in my closet."

She was wearing a pair of dark slacks with a white blouse.

That evening when I arrived back at my apartment I went straight to the television. Seinfeld, an old favorite, came on. I watched intent on going nowhere. My phone rang.

I picked up on the first ring.

"Hi hon," said Melanie," what are ya doin'?"

"Looking at TV," I replied.

"Why don't you come over here and watch it?"

"I can't," i said.

"Why can't you?"

I thought for a second and hit on the way to put it to her.

"My boyfriend is coming. He'll be here in a few minutes."

"Who?"

"My boyfriend," I repeated, " I'm not joking."

The loud clop of her phone to the receiver sent me a clear message. Melanie was angry. I'll avoid her at the office perhaps for the next few days.

I dialed my boyfriend's number number. He picked up.

"What's going on?"

"I just got off the phone with Melanie."

"OH?" he replied.

"I told her that I was staying inside tonight because my boyfriend was coming over."

He laughed into the phone. "I'll be right there."

At eight am on Tuesday I walked into my office, a space shared with two co workers.

Seated nearest to me was Jane French, a fifty year old woman with long sandy blond hair who often smelled of stale cigarette smoke. Jane had been with the firm for ten years in this same office. Ron Heinz, the other co worker, looked to be in his thirties and quite handsome. Both were friendly types though Ron was by far the more introverted of the two.

Entering the cafeteria shortly after 12 that day I noticed that Melanie sat by herself off in a corner where there were no windows. She seemed content just staring into space and not eating. I moved on to a different table paying no further attention to her.

She had never been homophobic. In fact she could be quite friendly toward them but then she never had a boyfriend who switched sides. I guess this was best I thought rather than get married, leave her for another man, pay alimony.

I walked with my plate of salmon to the far opposite end of the company cafeteria. Jane came bye and and sat across from me.

"Did you guys break up?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"That's too bad. I really thought you guys were in love."

I giggled. "I'll get over her."

The last thing I could say to a co worker is that I fell in love with another man.

Jane knew all about break ups. Divorced after five years of a not so good marriage, she had in the past spoken freely about marital problems. I could not relate but I could listen.

Her children, a daughter 17 and a son 15,were her other favorite topic. "Kristen just got her license."

"Is she getting a car?"

"A shit box," Jane replied, "unless her father gets one for her."

"Maybe he will," I responded.

"He should,"she responded with a hint of anger," he makes enough money."

I was about to have a revelation. Jane was nothing if not open.

"My son just came out to me. He said he has a crush on a boy at school."

"How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know," she replied.

I looked straight into her eyes very briefly before responding.

"I'll bet it took a lot of cahones for him to come out."

She didn't respond to that.

Should I come out at work? Melanie will probably out me eventually if she's angry enough to have me fired. It might be better if I out myself. Life is complicated all of a sudden. Dam, I thought.

As I left work that afternoon at five I had the sense that Jane French might be sympathetic. After all she did confide in me about having a 15 year old gay son.

Darrel lived in an apartment complex in Fredricksburg very similar to my own. He had just recently taken a second floor suite at a wood frame house. The comfortable bachelor pad featured swimming pool and sand volleyball court along with a picnic area.

He looked up from his pool side chair as I walked on to the property.

"It's a nice place."

"Thanks. I just moved in a week ago."

I seated myself beside him.

"Be careful," he cautioned, "I don't think this town is very gay friendly."

"I don't think this state is gay friendly."

I planned on a long visit. In another couple of hours it would be dark enough to consider going inside. I would not leave until after we had sex.

Another resident of the building came bye, a woman in her forties with brown hair almost on her shoulders. She sat, lit a cigarette and watched a child play in the pool.

"Hi Darrel"

"Hi MIchelle. This is Stephen."

"Hi, nice to meet you," she said shaking my hand with a firm grip.

"This is a nice place to live." I said.

"STephen what do you do for a living?"

"I'm an accountant. I graduated college four years ago. Right now I work in a payroll department."

"My husband is a building contractor."

A man about 5 foot 9, with a bundle of sandy blond hair and a couple of days growth of beard clad only in a red bathing suit, came walking toward us. I cruised his gorgeous body.

"This is my husband Mark."

Realizing my indiscretion, I stopped cruising him. He sat with us and shook my hand.

The little girl in a lime green bathing suit looked to be about nine. She walked quickly over to Mark.

"Daddy watch me!"

Amanda jumped into the pool cannonball style with her knees up in her chest

"That 's good sweetheart."

Darrel and I walked inside and up he stairs to his second floor apartment entering by way of the kitchen.

"You care for a beer?"

I nodded and accepted a Michelob from his frig and sat bye the kitchen table. My friend took one, opened it and sat next to me. His open hand went onto my thigh.

"I couldn't do this outside." He was grinning as he spoke. I placed my hand over his as he caressed slowly down to my knee.

"There's a lot of rednecks around these parts."

In the privacy of the apartment we finished our beer then walked into the bedroom.

"Did you see that hunk who is married to Michelle?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"If i wasn't with you I could take his dick any day."

"Stephen he wouldn't give you that. He'd probably give you a fist in the face for your trouble."

I knew that my boyfriend was right. Fredricksburg, Virginia did not exactly have a gay community. In fact there was not a bar in the entire state as far as I knew.

We embraced caressing each other. Our lips met and our mouths opened. Our tongues probed. My dick stiffened as did his no doubt. We began pulling down each others pants.

Fully naked we lay side by side on the mattress caressing each other, tugging at each other's cock.

"I want it inside me!"

Darrel responded quickly by rolling me onto to my right side. Inch by inch his hard seven inch manhood slid inside me. As he rocked back and forth shaking the bed on it's springs I was in a state of ecstasy feeling his hard cock moving inside me.

"yes! That feels so good!"

Sex with Melanie was never this good. We were broken up as far as I was concerned. I just wanted her to get over being angry with me and maybe someday be my fag hag.

The team came out on to the playing field shortly before the start of another game on Friday evening. From my position in center field I looked over at Darrel who was standing by second base. More than 300 feet away from me their first batter was walking up to home plate.