A Concerted Effortbyorie©
Sometimes being a bit of a dork can be a good thing.
Take a minivan, for example. There are not many thirty-year old guys who purposely drive a Chrysler Town & Country. I have a reason why I do so. It turns out my van also helped take me on an incredible sexual journey.
My wife and I married young, had three kids quickly and then divorced. We were best friends since grade school. At some point we admitted our sexual attraction and acted on it. After marrying, we both realized that our attraction was all pent-up passion. Like an intense flame, it had slowly faded away. Finding ourselves less and less interested in our marriage, we drifted apart. Finally, we recognized we were just co-parenting and agreed to split.
As divorces go, this one was friendly. Bella maintained primary custody, but I could see the kids any time and had them every other weekend. I kept my minivan to cart around the kids and all their stuff.
To balance things a bit, I also had a five-year old Miata.
Bella called me and asked if I wanted to come over for a cook-out. She kept our old house, since we had bought it at a deep discount from her parents. Each of us being teachers, we couldn't have afforded it otherwise. In the divorce we split our savings and Bella ceded control over some savings bonds her aunt had left her in order to compensate me for all the equity I gave up in the house. All in all, we each left intact both financially and, more importantly, psychologically. Even more remarkably, we became good friends again.
Bella said her two sisters were visiting and wanted to see me. I liked Bella's family, including her parents, and especially her sisters.
Bella is one of five children. Isabella is her full name. Her sister, Cassiopeia, or Cassie, is the oldest and will be forty in a few weeks. Her youngest sister, Amanda, graduated from college three weeks ago. Bella has two brothers sandwiched around her.
Bella's sisters were in the pool along with my kids. The kids love their aunts and were screaming with joy playing in the water.
Bella kissed my cheek and handed me a beer.
I sat and watched my ex-sisters-in-law play with our kids. You could easily see the family resemblance in the faces of the three sisters. Dark hair, light complexion, brown eyes and button-noses. Depending on how they were dressed and their attention to make-up, on any given day the ladies ranged from cute to beautiful.
Their figures did not show the same similarity. Bella was average height and built solidly. After four kids she was a little thick in her trunk and her breasts had increased a couple inches and a cup size. Still, she was an attractive woman. This fact was proven when she married Guy. He was my best friend, best man at our wedding and a decent person. He and Bella had dated in high school. They broke up and that was when I asked her out.
After Bella and I divorced, he asked if I'd be pissed if he took her out. I was honest and said a little, but that I'd get over it.
He asked her out and they got along great. A year later they married. After a while, I got to the point where I was happy for Bella and Guy. They had a baby, who was now approaching one year.
Today, Guy was visiting his parents with the baby, Guy Junior, or JR. He would be staying overnight and return tomorrow.
Cassie was climbing out of the pool and heading in my direction. It was clear that she and Bella did not share body-types. Cassie is long and lean. Even at forty, she has a tight figure, with long, toned legs. Her chest is not large, but her breasts always attracted me. I've only seen them in clothes or a bikini like the one she's wearing now.
The simple black suit complimented her tanned figure. She glided toward me and, grinning, embraced me, her wet body dampening my clothes. She wiggled against me making sure I was thoroughly wet.
"You're such a tease, Cassie," I whined as I made an exaggerated show of wiping the moisture from my clothes.
"Happy to see you, too," she said.
I really didn't mind, especially after feeling her breasts push into my chest.
Cassie is a physician, married to another physician, and the mother of twin ten-year old boys. Looking at her figure in the bikini, you would never guess her age, let alone that she was ever pregnant.
Cassie took the beer from me and downed a long sip. She handed it back and headed inside. She smoothed her short dark hair with her hands as she entered the house.
I admit I've had my share of fantasies about Cassie. She is funny, smart and sexy. We tease each other and flirt, but it never went beyond that. Still, watching her tight ass bounce along under her wet black bottoms made my heart beat a little faster.
My attention was called back to the pool as the kids shouted for Amanda to throw them up in the air. After a few minutes of tossing and splashing, Bella called for a time-out.
Amanda seemed relieved to be freed from kid duty. She pulled herself onto the pool apron and sat there with her feet in the water. Standing behind her, I couldn't help but look at her sweet butt-crack showing itself as her red bikini bottom slid down.
I also enjoyed the henna-colored tattoo running above her crack. Amanda is the sexiest of the three. Although the shortest of the sisters at about 5'4, Amanda oozes energy and sensuality. She was a field hockey star in college and has muscled legs and a tight butt. She has close to six-pack abs and large, round breasts.
I was roused from my contemplation of her almost totally exposed ass as an arm snaked around my shoulder.
"Enjoying the view?"
I turned my head and locked eyes with Cassie.
"Yes, you are. You are checking out my lil' sis's butt crack."
Cassie handed me a fresh beer and offered a toast with her bottle.
"Hey, Amanda, you're driving Tyler crazy."
Amanda looked back over her shoulder. "What?"
Cassie pointed to her sister's exposed rear.
Amanda reached behind her and felt how low her bottom had dropped, which now revealed almost all her white and tight buns.
She tried tugging it up, but to no avail.
Amanda shrugged and turned back toward the pool as she called over her shoulder, "It's just my butt, get over it."
"Well, it is a cute one," said Cassie.
I nodded and sipped my beer.
Bella dried the kids and shuffled them into the house for a warm bath and something to eat. She told me she had a sitter coming over to mind them so we adults could have some time to enjoy our dinner.
"Not going for a swim?" Cassie asks.
"Don't feel like it," I said. "Looking forward to some grilled beast and more beer. That will be enough."
"Come, let's sit under the umbrella. I need to ask a favor."
We relaxed at the table under the wide umbrella.
Cassie's about to speak when her cell rang.
"Shit. I'm not supposed to be on call."
She checked the id, smiled and answered.
"Hey, girlfriend, what's up?"
I could hear a voice and Cassie smiled at the response.
The smile slowly faded as she listened.
Cassie sipped her beer and nodded. She said, "What can you do? I understand."
After a moment, she added, "No big deal. We'll find someone to go."
After more listening, she said, "You, too. Take care."
"Just a glitch in some plans. Actually, that's what I want to talk to you about. The favor?"
I nodded for her to continue.
"I have four tickets to the Buffett concert in Marshfield. That was Aisha. She has to cancel. Now I need to find someone to take her ticket and she was going to drive us in her minivan. It's great for tailgating."
I had been to a Jimmy Buffett concert years ago and knew that the tailgating was at least as entertaining as the concert. I was amazed at the range of ages of the concert-goers. Kids as young as Amanda and folks in their 60's all seemed to get along and hang out.
"Anyway, that's what I was going to ask your help on."
"Each year we kinda do a theme for what we wear, our food and other stuff. This year we're going as island girls. You know, coconut bras, grass skirts, that sorta' thing."
"Sounds like fun."
"Oh, it will be. When we throw in drinks with umbrellas, grilled shrimp, and a ton of Corona, it will be great."
I saluted her with my bottle of Corona.
"So, what's the favor?"
"I've looked around and all I can find are some cheesy plastic things. And, they only come in one size. I can guarantee that Amanda and I do not wear the same cup size. So, I was thinking why not get some real coconuts. We can get different sizes, cut them in half, and rig them to stay on. It will be cool. I think I'll have to go with plastic grass skirts. I can't find real ones anywhere and I'm not going to try to make them."
"Sounds like a plan. What do you need me for?"
"You have to be the designer. You know, construct the bras. Geoffrey is totally useless when it comes to projects. Thank God he's in OB and not neurosurgery. Guy is probably worse and I don't think he owns a tool. You, however, are Mr. Handyman. I bet you could figure out how to cut them and make it all work. So, how about it? Will you help?"
"I guess so. But, what's in it for me?" I was mostly teasing, since I would be happy to help them.
Cassie thought for a moment and then her face lit up.
"How about a free ticket to the concert and the opportunity to accompany three hotties dressed in coconut bras and grass skirts."
"Really? You'd want me to go along."
"Sure. You'd have a great time and we all love you anyway. We'll have a blast."
"So, who's going?"
"Me, Amanda and her former college roommate, Holly."
"She, Guy and the kids are going to the Berkshires for the weekend."
"So, when is it?"
I mentally checked my calendar and knew I was open.
"Sure, I guess."
"Fab. And, would you mind driving? We'll take your minivan. We can pack a ton of stuff in the back and then use it to change into our outfits. The tinted windows work really well. We've done that a few times before."
"Ok. I guess I won't be having too many umbrella drinks."
"Well, you can drink early and then ease off. After the concert, you'll be sober. The girls... well let's say we will be 'Wasted Away Again in Margaritaville'. And, you won't have to drive all the way back here. We decided to stay in Providence that night. I already have reservations. Then, we can sleep in on Sunday and take our time coming home. What do you say? It will be a lot of fun."
Amanda joined us at the table.
"Tyler is going to come to the Buffett concert with us."
"And, he is going to help make our outfits."
"Super. Thanks, T."
"No problem, I think. I never made a bra before, let alone one made out of coconuts."
"We have confidence in you," said Cassie.
I began mulling over the challenge. Cassie was right in that I loved projects and was good with my hands. In a few minutes, I had a plan.
"I think we ought to get to work right away. I'll need some tools from my place and we should buy a bunch of coconuts. We may have some trial and error waste."
Cassie agreed and said she'd go shopping with me. We checked with Bella and found out we had a couple hours until supper.
Cassie pulled a sun dress over her bikini and we jumped in my Miata. First stop was the grocery store
With Cassie pushing the cart, we were soon standing in front of the selection of coconuts.
"So, what do you think, Cassie? What sizes do we need?"
"I know we won't get a custom fit. I'm mostly concerned that they are big enough to cover everything. It's one thing to prance around in a coconut bra, and it's another to have your boobs falling out. Of course, I won't have that problem. I could probably get by with walnut shells."
We both laughed. Cassie was always joking about what she called her "teeny titties". I never thought of them that way. I thought they were sexy as hell.
"Well," I said, "Amanda will definitely need the larger ones."
Cassie high-fived me.
"What's Holly like?"
Cassie said, "Amanda plus."
"Oh yeah, major wow."
We picked three coconuts per girl, and tried to select appropriate sizes.
We next headed to my place. On the way, Cassie borrowed my phone and asked Bella if it were ok for me to sleep over tonight. She explained that we could get working this evening and then finish up in the morning. She had to go into the hospital early for her shift in the ER. Bella said it was fine. Cassie and Amanda were already planning to stay for the night.
I picked up a hack saw, drill, router bit, hammer and chisel, and some rasps and sandpaper. I arranged them in an old carpenter's wooden tool kit I had. I threw some clean clothes and toiletries in a backpack and we were off to my old house.
As we rode along, Cassie called Amanda and asked her to invite Holly over.
We arrived at the house just as a Camry was pulling up. A blonde girl exited. I took one look at her chest and thought we would have a major challenge to stuff what was moving under her t-shirt into the largest coconut.
"You weren't kidding," I said to Cassie under my breath.
"No shit. I have major boob envy every time I see her."
"Hey, Cassie, you have great boobs."
"No, really they're beautiful and look perfect on you. Very sexy."
I couldn't believe I just said those words out loud.
She looked at me and I turned red.
Finally, she smiled and said, "Thanks, Tyler. I appreciate that. I haven't had a compliment on my boobs in a long time."
Cassie introduced Holly and we headed into the house, lugging the tools and groceries.
It's funny how old habits simply reappear. I soon found myself grilling, just as I always used to do.
Bella had prepared marinated chicken on skewers. I grilled them along with fresh veggies basted with herbs and oil. Bella made a potato salad earlier. Soon, we were gathered around the big picnic table enjoying dinner and some chilled Soave.
Cassie brought Holly up to date on our plans. She asked me what my plan was for making the bras.
"Well, I've been thinking. I originally thought that I would just cut the coconuts in half and then clean them out. I can drill holes for some sort of string and it would be pretty simple."
"But that's changed?" said Amanda.
I blushed a little and said, "Well, it seems not everything is equally distributed."
"Huh?" said Holly.
"What he means," piped in Cassie, "Is that you have humongous hooters and I have teensie titties. Amanda is sort of in the middle, but closer to you than to me."
I nodded, thankful for Cassie's intervention.
"So, I'm thinking I might cut the coconuts for Cassie in the middle, or even a little smaller, but for Holly and Amanda, I might need to leave more of the shell on."
"How will you be able to tell how much to leave for Holly and me?" asked Amanda.
"Haven't quite figured that out," I admitted. "We can go with trial and error. I bought a couple extra coconuts, so we can keep trying until it works."
"How about if we give you our bras," suggested Holly. "Could you fit the coconuts around them or into them or something?"
The thought of handling their bras made me a little excited.
"That might work, but I think just kinda' eyeballing it would be just as good."
"Well, let's get started," said Cassie. "Then, if you screw up we can go out tomorrow and get some more coconuts."
Bella, Amanda and Holly agreed to clean up. Cassie helped me get my tools and the coconuts. We set up on the now bare picnic table. It was June 21, the longest day of the year. Since it was only six o'clock now, we had plenty of daylight left.
The problem was stabilizing the coconut while I cut. I didn't want Cassie holding it; that was far too dangerous. I then remembered I might have left a portable vice in my old workroom. While I went to look for it, I asked Cassie to strip off the coconut hair on her coconuts until they're sort of smooth.
After rummaging around—it was obvious Guy was not into projects since the workbench was piled high with boxes of books and old financial records—I found the vise.
Back at the picnic table I was able to secure the vise on the edge of the table. I figured I'd better drill a hole to let out the coconut milk inside. I fixed the nut in the vise and after drawing a line on the circumference I drilled into the nut. I drilled another hole opposite the first one. The water trickled out. I then cut halfway through and readjusted the clamp and finished the cut.
The other women had rejoined us by now. Cassie and I cut out the white insides. I used some sandpaper to smooth the inside of the nut as best I could.
"Wanna' hold these up for size?" I asked.
Cassie pulled her sundress off and placed each half over her bikini top.
"So, how's it feel?"
"I can't feel anything."
I asked her to hold them tight while I made pencil marks on the sides so I could drill holes for the strings.
With half a nut back in the vise, I drilled two holes on the side and one hole at the top. I finished the other half. Bella got a ball of twine.
"I don't know how much we'll need between the cups," I said. "Can you hold them up again?"
Cassie pressed them against her top. I held a piece of string between the cups to estimate how long it should be. I was a little nervous having my hands so close to her tits. I couldn't feel anything because of the hard shells, but it was slightly intimate.
I cut the string and tying a knot in one end, slipped the other through both holes and tied a knot in the other end.
Cassie held them up.
"Well," she said. "I really can't tell because my top's in the way."
She turned her back and pulled her bikini top up over her breasts. She turned back holding the cups over her breasts.
Without the fabric of her bikini, the string was too long and the cups pointed out at a severe angle.
"I can shorten the string."
Turning her back, she pulled her top back down and handed me the nuts.
I cut the string and retied it. Cassie once again turned, pushed up her suit and placed the nuts on her chest.
This time they were too close.
"No problem," I said. "I'll just try a tiny bit longer piece. Just turn around and hand them to me."
She pulled her top down and gave me the nuts.
I fixed another piece and handed them back to Cassie.
Again she turned, pulled up her top and held the shells to her breasts.
This time the string was too long.
"I'll get it right this time. Just get your top back in place and give me the shells.
Cassie looked at me and said, "Fuck it."
She handed me the coconut halves, exposing her bare breasts.
My mouth opened, but no sound escaped.
Bella said, "Cassie!"
"What?" she said. "They're just tits."
"Yeah, that's the point," I managed to say. "They are naked tits and I'm a guy. And, they're your tits."
"Well, deal with it."
Amanda laughed and shouted out, "You go, girl!"
I didn't mean to do so, but I was staring at her breasts. They were smallish, but beautifully formed teardrops. Her nipples were dark and hard and she had hardly any areolas. Each breast pointed out at a slight angle.
"If you've studied them enough, let's finish up," said Cassie with a sly grin.
I cut a piece of string, fastened the cups together and handed them back to Cassie. She positioned them and this time the space between her breasts seemed perfect.
"Looks good," I said. "How does it feel?"
"Well, I have a lot of room to spare inside." We all laughed.
"It's a little rough on the rims. I think if I wore this all day my skin would be raw. Also, where my tits are resting on the bottom, I can feel some rough spots."
"I can fix that."
Cassie removed the nuts and handed them to me. Her skin around her breasts was red. She massaged her beasts and pulled on the nipples to extend them. I was thankful for my baggy shorts at this point.