A Cuckold's Journey Pt. 02

As I drove back toward home I literally felt like I was floating in the clouds I was so euphoric. As strange as it sounds, the encounter with Brandon felt like one of the most perfect moments of my life so far. I know it sounds ridiculous to some, but I'm just being honest. It didn't matter that my rational mind was trying to tell me that I had just been humiliated in a way that most men would never allow, much less feel good about. But the honest truth is, I felt such a weird sense of peace...like I had found my place in life. To this day I recall thinking that everything before today was just a pretense or a searching for the person I should be. Don't get me wrong, I knew this whole thing was a risky endeavor I was embarking upon. I also knew a lot of my joy was based on the way Brandon had handled the entire thing, in particular the fact that he treated me in a gentle, but strong, and helpful manner. It was this confident but gentle attitude that tamed the rage inside and made it possible for me to submit as I did on my knees before him. I'll never know if my life would have turned out differently had he been a bully.

I won't deny that I also had butterflies, lot's of butterflies, in the pit of my stomach thinking about facing my wife and telling her what had occurred... and then, try to express how I was feeling about it all. And I don't think any words I write could ever express how outrageously crazy this entire situation felt to me as a man and husband. But, for some reason, I could glimpse a ray of sunshine and hope surrounded by these dark clouds. It was that hope, the hope and desire to bring something more into Sarah's life and my life...and into our marriage.

After the encounter with Brandon, I no longer even wanted to try and deny that Sarah was missing something that I now realized I could never give her. It wasn't just the physical differences, even though his cock made mine look silly. It was also very clear to me now that there was truly something different about a strong and dominant man. For the first time in my life, I accepted that I was not that kind of man and never could be. My humiliation and ultimate surrender made it crystal clear there were two categories of men. And just like I had been reading about Alpha and beta men, I now knew this were true. Now it seemed a settled fact of life to me that no one can truly change how they were made...those traits of personality buried deep down inside the hidden caverns of the mind and soul are there forever. I also knew that I loved Sarah and wanted to somehow make it okay that she experience such a man and fulfill her needs for that which I could not give her. In this moment, I knew in my deepest heart that I had the same needs for a strong man as she does...I knew how wonderfully fulfilled I felt...and in my love for her I wanted her to have all she needed to be fulfilled too. Now, if I could just express all my thoughts and feelings in words she could understand...

*****

When I entered the apartment Sarah was sitting on the sofa waiting for me. I was terrified and had no idea how to begin to express all of the overflowing thoughts I wanted to express. All I could say was, "It's all going to be okay Sarah.I met with Brandon and it didn't go as I had thought it would, but I think we can all work this out. I want to tell you how sorry I am for all the cruel things I said earlier."

Sarah jumped up from the sofa and hurried across the room and into my arms. As we silently held one another, it felt like a flowing stream was washing away all of the mud from our wounded souls and restoring the intense bond of love that had been buried beneath the murky deceptions we had both been living under. "I'm sorry too Chris, I should have never done what I did with Brandon. I don't know what came over me," Sarah sobbed in my ear.

"Baby, we have so much to talk about. For awhile now I think I have been subconsciously learning about myself and the kind of man I am. First off, I don't judge you for falling for Brandon. And I just want to get this out there now and be honest, I fell for him too this evening...Sarah, I had sex with him tonight."

Sarah gently shushed me and said, "I know baby, he called and told me what had happened."

"I was hoping he would as I drove home. I had no idea how to tell you," I confessed.

"I doubt that he gave me all the details, but he too said he thinks this is all going to work out for the best for all of us. He also said he has a lot of respect for you," Sarah told me.

"Wow, that's a surprise. But I have to admit that he's hard not to admire in so many ways," I replied.

She snuggled into my neck and kissed me again, then said, "If I'm not mistaken, I think I smell the distinct aroma of his cum on you." Then she kissed my neck again and smiled at me playfully.

"I'm pretty sure your nose isn't deceiving you," I said and chuckled.

"We're all going to be fucking each other, aren't we," she asked.

"To put it bluntly, I think we are. Does that make you happy?"

"I couldn't be happier. The only thing that could have made my cheating better was if you were there too! And that's the honest truth. Knowing Brandon, I didn't think he would be interested in sharing me with another man. But I also had no idea you might be willing to have sex with him too. And for that matter, I didn't even know he was bisexual! But once Brandon and I started watching some of the porn stuff you had been watching, not only did we begin to understand your sexuality better, we both got totally turned on by the whole idea of it," she confided in a rush of excitement. It was obvious to me now just how relieved she was at being able to open up about her affair.

"All I can say to that is I'm so glad you two spied on me. Had you not, I think this could have all ended up in a very horrible way," I told her as I realized just how clouded our secret lives had become.

"Now, a confession," she said as her gaze locked onto my eyes. "Once we knew about your fetish, we talked about it quite a lot. It was his idea to suggest that I let you find my cum filled panties to see if you were really serious," she said. Then quickly added, "I'm sorry for being sneaky like that."

"No more apologies baby, if you hadn't had the guts to do what you felt you needed in life, I can assure you that I wouldn't have ever had the nerve to ask you to try this crazy stuff on my own. And I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am for you and Brandon because I really do believe we both need this. And now my confession, I smelled his cum, knowing it had leaked out of you... and rubbed my cock with those dirty panties until I came. I can't explain fully why I have these desires, but I think we'll all learn a lot about ourselves in this adventure. I guess I feel like we all must need this, otherwise why would there be such a drive toward it? Let's just make a pact right now that we will always be honest with our feelings and needs, and if any one of us needs to get out of this then it's all off," I said

"I love you so much! You know that, don't you," she asked.

"I do. And I feel the same about you. It's the reason I have no qualms about you fucking him. He's a dominant man and I'm not. I found out tonight that I also need a dominant man...and to top it off, his cock is the real deal, so how can I fault you or deny you that?"

"I already told you that Brandon said he had a lot of respect for your strength in admitting that to yourself, and I want say that I have even more respect for you. And just so you know; Yes, I physically crave a dominant man and his big dick at times, but I would never wish to be married to him. I have the man I want and need. And furthermore, I truly think it's hot that you share those same needs with me. It just makes me feel so close to you knowing we need the same things. I feel safe with you and can be emotionally closer to you than I can with him. So just embrace what you are baby, 'cause I love it all," she said in a soft and serious way.

"I feel like a thousand pounds of heavy weight was just lifted off of my back. Thank you for saying that. I've carried a load of shame for so long about a lot of stuff, and I'm tired of it," I told her as my arms hugged her close and long.

"Let's go shower and let me wash his cum off you," Sarah said teasing me. "Our bed sounds pretty good about now." So, taking my hand she led me toward the bathroom while adding, "I think this was the wildest day I've ever had in my life, and I'm exhausted." To which I could only agree.

*****

The next big surprise of this day was when Sarah told me as we showered that she and I were scheduled to go out with Brandon for the first time this next Friday. He had told her during their telephone conversation earlier and she had wanted to wait to see how I was handling everything before mentioning it. I, of course, was more nervous than she was as I thought about the moment I would have to face the man who had stripped me of so much of what I considered to be myself. It was such a short few hours ago that I had surrendered on my knees to the man I had been ready to fight for both my wife and my male honor. I knew, he knew, and now Sarah knew that I surrendered all of that and more on my knees as he used my mouth for his pleasure! The rending of that part of myself was still raw and sensitive. Oh, such mixed emotions...euphoric and shameful at the same time. Obviously, my wife was far more relaxed about having dinner with him since she knew him better and saw him every day at work.

"Just try to relax baby," she said later as we lay in bed talking about our upcoming dinner date. "It's going to take time together before you can fully settle into all of this. Just try to enjoy everything that's happening and try to remember how much you want this new life."

"I know you're right," I sighed. "But it still feels really scary at times and at other times it sounds really exciting."

"It is exciting...really exciting," she assured me. "So many new possibilities are now just waiting, like how Brandon was just telling me today at work that he has become interested in the male chastity thing that we saw in so many of the videos you were watching. I hadn't given it too much thought, but he read up on it and found that they are actually quite powerful in helping men like you become more calm. It has to do with the denial of your orgasms, especially jacking off so much. After hearing him explain it, I think there's a lot of logic to it. Then, tonight when we were talking on the phone after you left his place, he said that we'll be putting you in chastity very soon. Have you really studied it much, or was it just a part of the porn you liked."

"Wow, that's pretty big news. Don't you think I should have been involved in that decision?"

"Not really, no. He's just taking all of this seriously as something you want and need. The fact is, you are already a cuckold and have been for several months now. The only thing that has changed is that now you want to be a willing cuckold...and, I guess now I should add, a cocksucker too. As such, we both think it is our responsibility to guide you in the right direction." After a brief pause Sarah asked, "How do you view it?"

I was pretty surprised at the way she was talking about all of this...it all sounded so official or something. I admit that I was feeling a little irritation at being treated this way, but I didn't want to mess up the wonderful closeness we were enjoying and just played along. "Well, I did read up on chastity. I even chatted with a few guys who were already caged. They more or less said the same kind of things you and Brandon have been reading and discussing. It's a pretty big step, but I guess I am the one who started all of this. With the porn, it was only in my imagination that I surrendered my manhood though, and once I jacked off it all sort of faded. So I know chastity is a real thing. From what I've learned, the orgasm denial will make me more loving and anxious to please. I guess I'll have to let you make that decision," I said after calming down some and remembering that as a sub cuckold I will have to force myself get used to things like this and them making the decisions.

"I think Brandon and I both have already decided," she replied. "It was supposed to be a surprise, but he said tonight that he'll buy one and you'll be getting it this Friday. I told you because I wanted you to be in the right state of mind to appreciate what he has done."

Doing my best to conform to my new role I said meekly, "Okay, baby and thank you for doing so much research and thinking of what's best for us." As the words left my tongue, I felt an instant swelling in my cock. That even this small act of submission would do that surprised me, but also reconfirmed to me that I must really be a sub-male and we should all just push forward. Pulling back the bed covers I said with a laugh, "Look, I'm even getting hard just from submitting to you."

Sarah reached over, grabbing my entire package, then squeezing tight said, "This turns me on more than you can imagine. I wasn't going to mention this, but Brandon fucked me over his desk during lunch at work today. It was a quick one and he dumped his cum in me pretty fast, so I didn't have time to get off." Then rising up on an elbow she pressed her naked body into me and said in a sexy tone, "Now I'm feeling the need to do that... so why don't you be a sweetie and get down there and use your skilled tongue to help me relax."

As I was getting into position to comply, she added, "I didn't tell you earlier because I wanted to spare you more embarrassment than you've already faced. But normally I douche his cum out before coming to bed with you. Tonight I skipped it because I wasn't going to bring it up. But now, I think you're into all of this more than any of us knew... so maybe...just maybe you can even get a little leftover bedtime snack for yourself while you get me off."

Wow, was she ever getting into this, I thought! But as I positioned myself between her spread legs, I didn't over analyze the fact my wife had been seeded a few hours ago by the man who had just put me on my knees and filled my mouth with man spunk. And to be honest, just the thought of Brandon's big masculine cock in her so recently had my own little pecker rock hard. I have to say that she must have been ready too because, after just a few licks of my tongue, she changed positions so she was on top straddling my face! She humped me in a way that showed that she was the one in charge this time and she was fucking my tongue for her pleasure, not mine! Probably some of the best sex we ever shared didn't last more than a couple of minutes before she stiffened, moaned in obvious pleasure and humped her sloppy wet pussy even harder on my face. And indeed I did get my reward too! I could taste his spunk mixed with her wetness for the entire ride! The excitement was too much for me and I could only moan as I shot my second hands free release of the day onto my stomach and Sarah's backI

We both collapsed in a spent and exhausted heap. After a space of time where no words were spoken, the length of which I have no idea, we stirred from our stupor and it was clear that we were both such a mess that another quick shower was a necessity. But after that last moment of tender intimacy as the warm water washed our bodies once again, we were also finally cleansed of the pent up fears and nerves that all of these secrets and new discoveries had inflamed. Finally, we slipped under the bed covers and slept like two children after a hard day of play.

*****

The week passed quickly. I felt happier and more positive about life in general which lead me to spend considerable time doing searches for a job. Sarah too seemed much more relaxed and happy...happier than I had seen her in a long time. She did let me know that Brandon was much more open in his sexual advances now that I was no longer an issue. This was getting harder than I had imagined it would be, but when we talked, it all came back down to how much we both were getting out this adventure. I know for a fact that I ate his cum out of her two times that week because she told me. I suspect it was even more times, but I never asked since I figured she would tell me if she wanted me to know.

Another thing that changed was the fact that Sarah wanted me to fuck her more often. Obviously I was keen on that, and knowing that he had been in her was both highly erotic while also very humiliating. One of the reasons I suspected he had been breeding her more frequently than she let on was the fact that now it felt to me that she was getting stretched out. Toward the end of the week, I finally asked her as we were making love, "Does his big cock feel better than mine?"

"Are you sure you want me to answer that," she asked.

"I think you just did," I answered with a smirk. "I can tell he's opening you up because I feel less friction when I'm in you," I told her. My dick chose that moment to slip out of her again to seemingly emphasize the point, so I rolled off and snuggled up to her as she held me close.

"I enjoy you both in very different ways," she replied.

"Can you describe it," I asked.

"Just think about it this way. When you knelt on your knees and sucked him off, was it the same enjoyment you get when you are with me," she asked.

"No, but that's two totally different things. When it's you and me we have normal sex, and it's the same when you and him do it," I said.

"Not really. When you and I have sex it's making love regardless of what we do. When Brandon and I have sex it's mostly raw physical passion. He fucks me like a man who knows what he wants and takes it. For me, that's a big difference. Also, that's the way I feel about when you had sex with him the other night, it's mostly just physical with an big emotional high. I enjoy both, but in different ways," she said.

I could see her point. In fact, as I replayed my own submission to Brandon it made a lot of sense now that she explained it like that. But I was still somewhat obsessed with wanting to know how much better his big one felt than my own. "Can you describe how his feels as compared to mine," I asked.

"I think you'd need to be a woman and have a pussy to fully understand. But I'm like a lot of women who admire a strong masculine man. And that alone should make you feel secure in my love for you, since it's not just your body that won my heart but your personality and soul. Frankly, I've also always been attracted to pretty women and maybe that plays a part in my attraction to you. But, that doesn't negate the fact that I am all woman and a strong masculine male ignites certain emotions and needs in me. Brandon is just such a man, as you already found out for yourself. So when he wants me, it's almost in some primitive way...it's a strong man getting what he wants and I respond to his strength in the same way you did. Around such a man I feel the urgent need to submit myself to his power and virility. It's almost like it's the way I'm wired. I could resist, but it feels wonderful to be weak and vulnerable when he's ravishing my body...almost like I have no choice...almost like be taken against my will. I don't know if all women feel this way, but even before I met you I was drawn to such me. I have almost a reflexive desire to spread my legs when I'm with a man who makes me feel that way. And yes, he is stretching me. I can barely feel your dick in me anymore, but I love the new found intimacy we are sharing," she said in a soft and gentle way. Then added, "You know it's not all about size, and are fully aware that I have a clit that responds very well to you humping me."

"Okay, now I can relate. I experienced the same overwhelming desire to submit to his masculinity. But with you, I have more of a heart connection. Still, it's a little scary for me to realize another man is starting to own your pussy," I confessed.