A Different Kind of Love

"I can't," Torstein said. "It wouldn't be right to get your hopes up."

"You might as well spell it out for her, you miserable old goat!" Eleanor said. "You brought it up, and she's right; ghosts can't lie. But I don't want to be around when it hits the fan about you letting this out."

The old Viking sighed. "There's a remote possibility that a ghost can experience such intense and complete love from a mortal that the ghost becomes visible, not only to the mortal in question, but to all mortals. There's an even more remote possibility that a ghost like you, one who did not die according to the universal plan, may then become real."

"Real? I don't understand," Farrah said.

"Real, as in mortal. Real, as in living, with their mortal body restored to life and health. As I said, I've never had first-hand knowledge of this, but the elders tell stories of ghosts returning to mortal form and living out their years as human beings until the pre-determined time of their death. But remember, child, I've been a ghost for a thousand years, and I've only ever heard a few rumors about it. I'm not at all sure it can happen."

"Please, Farrah, don't think about that. Be content with the knowledge that your father may eventually be able to see you, if his love for you is still strong. You might even get to the point where you can communicate, but that's probably as far as you'll get. We know you're a strong spirit, dear, so that's a goal you may be able to attain. You may also develop the ability to touch him, to caress his hand or face, and to have him feel it as if you were real, if you two love each other enough. But please don't dwell on the idea of becoming human again, or you'll be disappointed," Eleanor said.

Torstein continued, "The other problem is this. A mortal must fall in love with a ghost and love her with his entire being, and that love cannot be influenced by the mortal's knowledge of the ghost's identity before death. In your case, your father must not love you as a daughter, but as a person with whom he wants to spend the rest of his life. And that's not going to happen."

To herself, Farrah thought, "We'll see."

Joseph woke the next morning feeling somehow uneasy. He remembered the dream in which he smelled Farrah's perfume. He spent that entire evening, after he got home from work, ransacking the house, looking for something that could have released the scent into the air. Since he knew he had given away all of Farrah's clothes and other possessions years ago, he couldn't imagine what had provoked that memory in him.

When he went to bed that night, he dreamed of Farrah again. In his dream, Farrah had been getting ready to go out on a date, and the smell of Aphrodesia had been strong in the air of the hallway outside her room, and had lingered even after she had left the house.

Every night, it was the same thing. Joseph dreamed of Farrah, sometimes as an infant, sometimes as a young child, sometimes as a teenager. In one particularly disturbing dream, he recalled the events of the night Farrah had run away. He woke up crying from that dream, but was somewhat comforted when he imagined he smelled her perfume in the air.

Farrah haunted her old house whenever her father was at home, and followed him to work and on errands when he went out. She learned his habits, which hadn't changed much from when she was alive. He was still a hard worker, still had some of the same friends he had when Farrah was a child, and still missed his wife and daughter.

On Friday evening, Joseph didn't go straight home from work like he usually did. Instead, he drove to a nursing home on the outskirts of town. Farrah, of course, went with him. She was shocked when she realized who he was visiting.

"Hi, Grandma," Joseph said when he entered the room of an old woman in a hospital bed.

"Joseph, is that you?" the old woman said as she turned unseeing eyes toward the door.

"Yes Grandma, it's Friday, so I came to visit."

"Well, come over here and give your old grandmother a kiss."

Joseph leaned down and kissed the forehead of the old woman.

Farrah couldn't believe what she saw. She remembered her great-grandmother Ida as being old, but she wasn't prepared for the sight of the frail, ancient, withered body in the bed before her.

"Who do you have with you? Wait, don' tell me, I'd know that perfume anywhere. You brought your darling little girl Farrah with you! Farrah, honey, when did you come home?" the old woman asked.

"Grandma, you know Farrah's gone. I wish I could bring her to see you, but you know I can't."

"But she's here with you. I can't see her, of course, since my last stroke, but I know she's there. Farrah, honey, come here and give your old great-grandma a kiss."

"Grandma, I'm sorry, but Farrah's gone, remember? She ran away ten years ago. No one's heard from her since," Joseph said.

"Nonsense, boy! I'm old, and blind, and paralyzed, but I'm not senile! At least not yet. Farrah's right there next to you. Oh how I wish I could see you, honey! You were such a lovely child, and you were so beautiful as a teenager. I'm sure you're absolutely stunning now as a young woman. But say something, dear. Come over here and talk to me."

"Mawmaw Ida knows I'm here!" Farrah thought to herself.

"Of course I know you're here, sweetheart. Now come closer so I can touch you," the old woman said, holding out her one good arm.

"How do you know I'm here, Mawmaw?" Farrah thought.

"Well, silly child, I can hear you clear as a bell! You're standing at the foot of my bed, just to the left of your father."

"Mawmaw? Can you really hear me?"

"Yes, child. Why would you ask that? My hearing is fine. It's one of the few things I have that still works!"

"Grandma! Do you think you're talking to Farrah? She's not here. Grandma, Farrah ran away ten years ago. Didn't leave a trace. Remember? Farrah's not coming back. She's in Heaven now."

"No, Joseph, she's not. She's right next to you. Oh, oh, oh, I understand now. Oh my poor little Farrah. I only wish I could see you," the old woman said aloud. To her great-granddaughter's ghost, she then thought, without speaking, "You're a spirit now, aren't you, child?"

"Yes, Mawmaw. How did you know?"

"I'm very close to the end of my time here on earth, child. When I was in a coma after my last stroke, I learned some things about the afterlife. My guardian angel came to me and introduced himself. His name is Michael. Charming young man! He told me I wasn't quite at the end of my time, but that I was close. He promised me that my late husband was waiting for me, which gave me a lot of comfort. He could answer all my questions about everyone I knew who had preceded me in death. Everyone except for one. He didn't know anything about you, dear."

"Mawmaw," Farrah thought, "I'll bet he didn't know about me because I never went to Heaven. I died, but I became a ghost trapped here on earth."

"Well, that explains that." the old woman said aloud.

"What explains what?" Joseph asked, confused.

"Hush a moment, boy. I'm talking to your daughter. I'll try to explain this all to you later."

"I'll be right back, Grandma," Joseph said as he left the room to find a nurse, concerned about his grandmother's apparent hallucinations.

Mawmaw continued, "I'm sure you've had spirits watching over you. Did they keep you company and teach you things?"

"They've been like parents to me, and friends, too," Farrah replied. "They've taught me a lot. My death was a mistake, so I may be able to...."

Farrah's great-grandmother interrupted her. "Oh, look who's here! Michael! My dear young man, I'd like you to meet my great-granddaughter, Farrah. Tell me, Michael, is she beautiful? Funny, I can see you clearly, boy, but I can't see her."

"Hello, Farrah, pleased to meet you. Your great-grandmother told me how pretty you were as a child. She'll be very happy to see what a beautiful young woman you've grown to be. Ida, you'll be able to see Farrah in just a moment," the angel Michael said.

"Really? How?" Ida asked. "Oh, I understand now. It's time, isn't it?"

"Yes, Ida," Michael said, "I've come to take you home. Because Farrah is someone you have loved, you'll be able to see her when you cross to the other side. I can only see her now because I'm here with you. But come, dear lady, I'll explain everything to you as we make our journey. Now, dear, it's time to go."

Ida smiled at Farrah and closed her eyes. The frail old woman's chest rose and fell for a few seconds, and then the movement stopped.

"When her spirit emerges from her body," Michael said to Farrah, "you may not recognize her. I had told her that your great-grandfather chose to greet her when she arrives in Heaven looking like he did on their wedding day, so she decided to take on her bridal appearance for her angelic form. Watch carefully."

A mist began to form over the old woman's body, taking on the shape of the lifeless body below it. The shape changed to a slightly more youthful form, looking the way Farrah remembered her Mawmaw Ida when Farrah was a teenager. The spirit's appearance became younger, changing from elderly, to middle-aged, to that of a woman in her thirties, and finally almost solidifying into the form of a gorgeous young woman, younger than Farrah herself appeared to be. And then, Ida and Michael disappeared.

Joseph returned to the hospital room with a nurse. She felt for Ida's pulse and put a stethoscope to the old woman's chest. After a few seconds, the nurse turned to Joseph. "I'm sorry, sir. She's gone."

That night, Joseph dreamed of Farrah again. This time, he was sitting in the stands in the high school gym with his mother and grandmother, watching Farrah and her friends on the gymnastics squad win the competition against other area schools that would send them to the state finals. Afterward, Joseph and his family went to dinner at the best restaurant in town to celebrate.

On the way home, Joseph was struck yet again by the beauty of his adolescent daughter, her trim form slumped in the seat next to him as she dozed, a hint of the alluring scent of Aphrodesia wafting from her. She was rapidly outgrowing her pretty little girl appearance and changing into a young woman that all the boys made fools of themselves pursuing. "She's going to grow up to be just as breath-taking as her mother was," he thought. And then he felt ashamed, knowing he was going to be very jealous of the man who won her life-long affection.

Ida's viewing was a simple affair. A few of the healthier guests from the nursing home attended, along with a couple of the staff. Some old neighbors were there, and they all felt sorry for the man who sat there alone in the front of the church. He had lost his wife, his daughter, his parents, and now his last relative, his grandmother. There were a few mumbled condolences and a number of low whispers about the loneliness this handsome man, barely into his middle years, would now feel.

Several of the well-wishers remarked to each other about the small number of people in attendance. None of them noticed the old Viking, the striking woman in the high-necked ankle-length dress with puffy elbow-length sleeves and cinched waist popular in the 1890's, or the woman in her late twenties dressed in a simple dark dress that did little to hide her lithe figure, all standing in the shadow in the back of the room.

At the cemetery, Joseph waited until the funeral director and caretakers had gone. He knelt at the headstone at Farrah's empty grave and prayed. He cried a little, re-living the grief he had felt over losing his wife, his mother, his daughter, and now his grandmother. All the women he had loved, all the women who had been important in his life, were now gone. He felt very lonely, but suddenly, he had the impression that he was not alone in the graveyard.

Joseph looked around, certain he was being watched. For just a moment, he thought he saw a slender young woman in a dark dress, partially hidden by the wisteria that overran the trellises surrounding the walkway to the parking lot, but then she was gone. All that lingered was the smell of the flowers on the vines, mixed with what he would have sworn was a hint of Aphrodesia.

He returned to work the following day. He was tired, emotionally drained from the funeral and from his grieving for his family. On top of that, he hadn't gotten much sleep. He had dreamed of Farrah again, waking to the impression of her scent in the air. After tossing and turning for a while, he finally got up and went downstairs. An hour of studying his scrapbook of his daughter's life, remembering all the good times he had had with her and the love he had felt for her, calmed him. When he went back to bed, Farrah saw that he dreamed with a smile on his face.

On his way home from work that day, Joseph stopped at the market to pick up some things for dinner. He had decided to make stuffed green peppers, something he realized he hadn't made since Farrah had left. "Funny," he thought, "why would I want them now? Oh well, I'm hungry for them. Maybe it's the fact that I've been thinking of her so much lately."

As he was backing out of his parking space, he had to stop for a moment to allow a trim, attractive young woman to walk behind his car. She looked at him, and he was struck by her beauty.

When he got home, busied himself by dusting the pictures on his mantel while his dinner baked, filling the small house with a rich smell that seemed fitting to him, as he felt the love that always gripped his soul when he thought of his beautiful daughter. When he went back into the kitchen, he was momentarily confused by the fact that he thought he smelled Aphrodesia when he knew he should have smelled his dinner. As he was pondering this, he imagined he heard a woman's voice whisper, "I love you."

"Stress is doing some strange things to you, old boy," he said aloud.

The next day, Joseph was sitting at his usual window seat in the cafe across from his office building, reading the newspaper while he ate his lunch. As he ate his bagel sandwich, he got the same sensation he had experienced at the cemetery; he felt that someone was watching him. Looking up, he saw a woman in her late twenties, her body angled sideways to him, but her face turned toward the window where he was sitting. He only got a glimpse of her before a group of people stopped to read the menu posted in the window, blocking his view. When they walked away, she was nowhere in sight, but he had seen enough to form an impression of a pretty face, perky breasts, trim torso, and tight, shapely butt and legs clad in a t-shirt and tight jeans.

He smiled to himself. "I should be so lucky," he thought, going back to his lunch and his paper.

When Farrah visited Joseph's bedroom that night, she noticed a bulge in the covers. Concentrating, she was able to read his dream, as Eleanor had taught her to do. She discovered that her father was dreaming of the girl on the sidewalk outside the cafe, dreaming of what he would like to do with her. Although she learned that Joseph had not recognized her, she felt a guilty pleasure knowing that her father was dreaming about the woman he had seen that day.

On Friday after work, Joseph decided to stop at the video store to rent a few DVDs for the weekend. As he passed the shelves of children's films, he chuckled to himself, remembering how many evenings he and Farrah had spent on the couch when she was a child, watching movies like "E.T.," "Honey I Shrunk the Kids," and "Home Alone." Moving into the "action/adventure" section, he chose a film and was reading the box as he moved toward the "comedy" section. He nearly bumped into a pretty young woman who was standing there, reading the titles of some movies. Startled, he dropped his DVD box.

When Farrah saw that Joseph was about to run into her, she panicked. "If he touches me, he'll freak!" she thought. "He'll probably go right through me!" She turned, ran around the corner, and disappeared.

As Joseph stood up with the box in his hand, he was saying, "Pardon me, miss. That was clumsy of me." But there was no one else in the aisle but a young male store employee, who was looking at Joseph strangely. The only trace of the woman was the lingering smell of Aphrodesia in the air.

"Did you see which way that woman went?" Joseph asked the teenager.

"What woman?" the kid asked. The expression on his face showed that he thought Joseph might be delusional.

"Um, uh,... nothing. Forget it," Joesph mumbled. To himself, he thought, "That looked like the girl outside the cafe the other day. I wonder where she went."

"That was a close call," Farrah said to Torstein and Eleanor later that evening when they met in the woods near Joseph's house.

"You foolish child, that was just plain careless! You could have ruined everything," Torstein grumbled.

"Don't be so hard on her, Grumpy," Eleanor said. "Have you ever tried moving among the mortals when there is one that can see you?"

"Of course, you stupid cow! I haunted that bitch Astrid for years. Used to scare the living daylights out of her," Torstein snapped.

"That's not what I meant. We've all been in situations where mortals can sense our presence, and, of course, there are some sensitive mortals who actually see apparitions. But Farrah's situation is different. She needs to have Joseph see her, but she doesn't want him to see her as a ghost."

Farrah said, "That's why I took off, Eleanor. If he had actually touched me, he would have realized that I was just a vision, an apparition, a wraith without substance. What would have happened then?"

"One of two things, child. Either he would have run screaming for the hills, or he would have decided he was crazy," Torstein said.

"Well, I don't want either of those things to happen," Farrah said. "So how do I make him love me enough to allow me to become mortal if I can never touch him?"

"It's going to be a challenge, I'll admit," Eleanor said. "You grew up in the late twentieth century, when people were all about touching, holding hands, kissing, and more, even when the relationship between them was very casual. You'll have to resort to the conduct of an earlier, more proper time, when physical contact was reserved for those who were already in love. In other words, you'll have to act like a proper, virginal, Puritan-type of lady and avoid any kind of physical contact until you know he is romantically in love with you."

"Yeah, good luck with that!" Torstein said sarcastically. "Remember, we know your history."

"That wasn't very nice," Eleanor scolded him. To Farrah, she said, "You're a strong spirit, honey. If you want this badly enough, you'll find a way to do it."

Joseph's next sighting of Farrah came when he was shopping for some new slacks for work. He had come out of the fitting room with two pairs he wanted to buy, and had seen her standing near the cash register. He recognized her immediately as the desirable young woman he had seen at the cafe and the video store. "She works here," he thought. "Maybe I can start a conversation with her." Then a young boy waiting for his father momentarily distracted Joseph, and when he looked up, the young woman was gone, but he smelled her perfume. He was certain it was her, the woman who was rapidly becoming his fantasy girl.

He saw her again as he was leaving the gas station near his house on his way home. He debated turning around to go back to speak with her, but when he looked in his mirror to see if she was still there, she was nowhere in sight.

The next morning, he saw her in the lobby of his office building when he was getting on the elevator. The doors were closing, and he tried to reach the button to stop them, but a man was standing in his way. "Why do I keep seeing her?" Joseph wondered. "And when am I going to have a chance to talk to her? I HAVE TO talk to her!"