A Double Standard

Alyssa was next in the hot seat. Julie asked," Do you still love John?"

"With all my heart." There was no hesitation, no if or buts just "With all my heart."

"Now we're getting somewhere," Julie seemed pleased with herself. "That should be enough right there to stop all this bullshit," Julie continued, "but knowing you two this won't be enough. We go on. John explain again what happened on your trip. Short version please."

I told the three of them the story again. Drinking too much, not leaving the strip club, not knowing until it was too late what the stripper had in mind, and not having the strength of character or whatever to push her off. I made no excuses I just told the facts with no spin. Alyssa was silently crying at hearing the sordid tale again. I wasn't far from crying myself. I told Alyssa that I was sorry again.

"John, did you go to that club with the idea of getting it on with anyone?" Julie was digging at the bone.

"No, I just wanted to network with a couple of the guys and I let things get out of hand," I told her.

"Your turn Alyssa, you were very hurt when John told you what happened. So you came up with this scheme to make John hurt too. But did you ever have sex with the man John saw you with?"

"No, I never had sex with him or the woman," Alyssa told Julie.

"Wait a minute," I jumped in. "You met him at the hotel several times. And going into the elevator it sure gave the impression that you two were going to sleep together." I was getting mad all over again.

"Shut up John, it's Alyssa's turn to talk," Julie ordered. "Go ahead Alyssa.

Alyssa went on to explain that Stan was a classmate that worked for a firm that her company was doing business with. She said that he was in town for a couple of weeks and they had dinner together a few times.

"What about you getting into the elevator with him?" Gotcha now girl.

"The first time I went to his room to pick up a folder that he had for me," Alyssa told me.

"Yeah, you got home very shortly after I did that night," I said.

"Were you spying on me John? Alyssa seemed more amused than angry.

I hesitated for a sec and thought maybe now was the time to be totally honest, "Yeah, I was. I heard you setting up a dinner date with him and followed you. After that first time, I would go to the Hilton anytime you weren't home by 7:00 or so."

Alyssa smiled at me, "I should have known you wouldn't just sit back and let things go on for long." The way she said it, it was almost a compliment.

"What about the nights that you stayed out so later after you guys had dinner? Did you go to his room on those nights?

"Yes I did. By that time Stan's wife Sarah had arrived. You remember Sarah, the woman at the table that night in the lounge? By the way Stan was the one that called the police. He didn't think you would hurt me, but you were so angry he didn't want to take a chance."

"Any other questions John?" Julie wanted to know.

"Yeah. Alyssa it seemed that after you spent an evening with Stan that you were nicer around the house. And on the other nights you would go back to being cold and standoffish. Why was that?"

"On the nights I was with Stan, he tried to help me get past your mistake. He kept pointing out that I still loved you. He said that if I didn't I would have kicked you to the curb right away. Those are his words not mine. On the nights I didn't talk to him, all the old doubts and fears would come back and I would shut down again."

Alyssa and I looked at each other and I thought maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And just maybe that light wasn't a train coming to run us over.

Sean spoke up for the first time since I came in. "You two are certainly a pair. John, you made the most stupid mistake a married man can make. It wasn't getting drunk or going to a strip club or not stopping that stripper that was the mistake. It was putting yourself in that situation to begin with, that was your big mistake. If I remember right, you said you thought about leaving that club because you knew that Alyssa wouldn't like that you were there. That was your other mistake, not leaving right them. That was stupid."

Now Julie jumped in. "Alyssa then you compounded the problem with that idiotic scheme to punish John and make him hurt. Didn't you realize that he was already hurting enough for the both of you? Couldn't you see it in his eyes or hear it in his voice? You said you needed space when what you really needed was to be together and communicate. Sean's right! You two deserve each other."

Alyssa spoke directly to me for the first time. "John I love you and don't want to be without you anymore. Please can't we just go home? We have never lied to each other; it's one of the things that made our life special. Stan and Sarah were just trying to help me."

I was giving her all of my attention at this point.

She continued, "I have forgiven you for your mistake, now you need to forgive me for that stupid plan. Please John, I miss us and want our life back." She was crying as she spoke.

After Alyssa finished, I sat still for about ten seconds then jumped up, ran to the couch, and brought Alyssa to her feet. I held her to me, kissed her, and without words made her understand that everything was going to be alright.

Alyssa was crying, Julie was crying, I was crying and even Sean had tears in his eyes. We had a room full of cry babies for a while. Things calmed down after a short time and we sat back down.

Sean cleared his throat several times and was finally able to speak. "So I guess you guys will be going home soon?"

"Well I thought we might go back to your cabin and spend some time together. There is nothing to do up there, but enjoy the country and each other. We won't be distracted by work or TV or anything, that's for sure," I told Sean and asked Alyssa at the same time.

"That sounds like the best idea ever," Alyssa said. "Today is Tuesday so that will give us several days together. I have to be back home, a week from Friday for my doctor's appointment."

"What doctor's appointment? Are you okay, what's wrong?" I was getting worried.

"Nothings wrong, I'm fine," she replied. "It's just for my next check up."

"Check up for what?" Now I was really worried.

"It's part of my prenatal care. I'm pregnant and you're going to be a daddy," Alyssa was beaming as she told me.

"What? How? When?" I stopped myself from ranting. "Why didn't you tell me when I first got here? We could have bypassed all the talking."

"I wanted you to come back for me, for you and me. Not because you felt you had to because of the baby. Believe me I would have played the baby card if I had too. You weren't going to get away from me again," Alyssa was laughing at me.

We spent the time like we planned at the miner's cabin and reconnected on all levels. By the timing Alyssa had conceived two weeks prior to my trip and all the hoopla. We were us again, plus one. Actually it was plus two. We found out at that doctor's appointment that Alyssa was carrying twins.

That was two years ago. Alyssa gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. All four of us are doing great. We named the twins, Sean and Julie. I bet you can figure out why. The four of us have been back to see the kid's aunt and uncle a couple of times. Sean and Julie, the adult ones, baby sat for a couple of days while Alyssa and I went back to the miner's cabin.

It belongs to us now; it was a gift from their namesakes to our twins on their first birthday.

Quote: Life goes on.