A Drow's Dilemma Ep. 81: A Home

"They're insane. Suicidal, even. And that demon or whatever it was..." Tsabdrin said in a soft, horrified voice. He had -aligned- with these psychotic males.

"You saw him as well, in your dreams sometimes? I thought it was just thoughts of Faust leaking into our heads -- it would be common enough for one or even several people to have such dreams after hearing his story -- but this?" Selene said. Then a look of discomfort took over her face. "You don't think..."

Caleldir furrowed his brow. He had only briefly considered that the events were related in that sort of way, but seeing this statue, well, Selene had a point. It was no stretch at all at to think that Faust's infernal parent could have been masterminding events both in the Underdark and above ground. The way that the situation had been so neatly unfolding certainly spoke of something behind the scenes. And the fact that the mage had so neatly teleported away to where Aelsuna could not see him... Hmm...

"I would not discount the idea that a fiend who has already proven himself a consummate meddler in one event we ended up in the thick of might be meddling in another, closely related event," Caleldir said in reply to Selene's words. "But we have no concrete evidence to go on, and if the fiend is involved, that will not change one iota of our strategy. Except that it might become absolutely necessary to bring Althaia along in the near future. If we are fighting fiends, we will need the paladin. Until then I may need to confer with R.I.S.A. to give me the ability to fake paladin powers, except not actually faking them."

Selene looked towards the other two drow, who looked just a disturbed as she did. "If he was just pulling some strings in the background, it would not explain the fact that we three have dreamed of him. I think... I think someone is trying to bind him to our bloodline somehow. Sever our already tenuous connection with Lolth. I would like to think that that's impossible, but..." Her lips thinned in thought. It was all speculation. They really needed to get to Duskhaven to find out what was going on.

Caleldir grimaced. That did not sound like good news. Lolth was pretty dang terrible, of course, but she ruled the Underdark. Making her that mad would be a mistake. "How do we plan on keeping ourselves not a target to be destroyed by the Spider-Queen?" he asked. "I mean, putting the current rebels aside, it seems clear to me that Duskhaven, as it is made up right now, is not exactly made up of the most devout followers of Lolth. How anxious is she to keep the drow... well, all drow-ish, if you understand my meaning?" He shrugged. "I would suggest following Eilistraee, Lolth's daughter, but I am not sure how well that would go over." Probably not well. That family had a strained relationship.

No one had anything to say about Caleldir's suggestion. They all had a lot to think about.

Soon they were able to make their way into the caverns. Ashyr very clearly regretted leaving the forest, but she did not hesitate to follow after Tsabdrin. He led them through a cramped labyrinth of space that they would have never been able to navigate on their own. Mounts were impractical to use during this stretch of the journey, which Tsabdrin assured them would not always be the case. At least they did not encounter any creatures that thought they could take on the party.

When they (namely, Selene) got too tired to continue, the male ranger found themselves a nook to activate R.I.S.A's portal. Ashyr did so; she was anxious to see the whole of the realm that their helpful A.I. had made.

This time, instead of shunting them all to their rooms, R.I.S.A. plopped them on a paved walkway leading up to a stately manor house. The building was larger than it really needed to be by several degrees of magnitude - although not quite the size of an actual noble's seat - but for only a handful of people, it was more than adequate. Like the inside that they had already seen, the building was designed as a mixture of drow and faerie architectural sensibilities. Dark elegance from the drow seen in the stonework, and airy beauty from the fae. It was a pretty impressive structure.

Inside, it was set up about how one would expect a noble's private residence to be. Grand entry hall, large dining room, a ballroom, recreation rooms, a swimming pool in the basement, and a whole lot of empty rooms that could be something once furnished.

"I say again: this is perfect, R.I.S.A." Ashyr said, looking at the R.I.S.A. that appeared just as she wanted to talk to the A.I. "How have you been getting along with the goblin?" She asked. The couple of conversations Ashyr had had with Fucking, all he talked about was food and the preparation of food. It was his entire life, after all, growing up in Faust's kitchen. Granted, all he had done there was run the wheel that powered the spit roast and made sure that the oven was the right temperature at all times, but he listened and watched in rapt attention as he did all of this. Because of this, he was well on his way towards becoming a Gourmet. He'd also developed the habit of keeping himself immaculately clean, even by elf standards. Fucking was probably the only goblin who actually smelled good.

[It is nice to have staff again.] she said happily. [Clean, conscientious staff to add that personal touch to things. If you come across any more interesting figures you want to give to me, I would like that. Perhaps a smith, a groundskeeper, maybe a couple of maids. I mean, I can do that all on my own, but having others around to help me allows me to concentrate more on building my little dimension here. Speaking of which, I would also like some birds, animals, and insects to put out there. The woods are rather empty right now. Could use some life...]

"I will be on the lookout for interesting creatures and people." Ashyr agreed. It would be a good hobby for her, she thought, if she ever got some time for it. Especially the collecting birds and the like part of it, to make the forest more realistic. The forest was her favorite part of the realm. Oh, and the open nighttime sky. The female ranger didn't express it in words, but she was absolutely thrilled with how things turned out.

R.I.S.A. seemed pleased that Ashyr had so readily agreed to help her fill up her pet dimension. [I would like to eventually build several different biomes, including an underground one.] R.I.S.A. continued. [So if you find any interesting Underdark creatures, I can take those too. Eventually. Right now I do not have enough deep enough ground to build an Underdark biome.] It was clear that the A.I. was becoming very fond of her pocket dimension.

The group made their way inside of the manor. The dining room was being set up for dinner by their little chef who was scurrying around and bursting with excitement. He had insisted on making a meal fit for nobility in thanks for the party's letting him join them (even if it seemed for a terrifying day that they would forget him.) R.I.S.A. had to do most of the work of setting out the heavy platters, but there were still the little things that he could do.

Selene immediately sat down at the table with a huff. Her feet hurt. Her back hurt. She was tired. She was hungry. Part of it was just her noble nature. Selene wasn't used to having to walk places, and recently they had only been riding. She was also used to plentiful food whenever she wanted back at her home in Duskhaven. On the road, all she had was her dwindling supply of drow trail rations which were at least preferable to the whatever type of animal jerky they had at the time. On top of all that, was the ever-growing problems that came with pregnancy.

"I'm starting to think that I should just spend time here when we're traveling." Selene announced to the party. Before, she didn't want to be cooped up and away from the rest of them. Now, however, when there was a magnificent house to stay in? Being lazy was awfully tempting.

"Do what you like, dearest." Ashyr said as she sat down next to her cousin. She took Selene's sore feet into her lap and began to massage them gently, much to Selene's obvious delight. "I won't make you walk with us."

While Fucking the Goblin Chef carried the little plates, R.I.S.A.'s more concrete copies, dressed in rather skanky maid outfits (the sort of thing that a succubus and a nymph both trying to be classy and not succeeding as well as they might have hoped might have designed...) carried the big ones. The 'Maid' R.I.S.A.s (and one Butler R.I.S.A., who was seemingly male) were quite flirtatious with everyone, the 'maids' teasing and dropping innuendos at everyone in the group, but mostly Caleldir and Tsabdrin, while the 'Butler' version of her seemed to be around mostly to flirt almost stoically with Ashyr, and responded to Ashyr's occasional flirtations. R.I.S.A. figured that Selene would not be quite as receptive to that sort of thing, and so her male(?) butler self was mostly just polite and attentive to her.

Caleldir glanced over at Butler(?) R.I.S.A. as s/he flirted with Ashyr and did a rather good Selene impression in the way he quirked his eyebrow. He was aware, of course, that R.I.S.A. was technically sexless, or had been, but since she absorbed succubus essence she had massively reinforced her female programming. So, it was interesting to see her manifesting male avatars. It was probably a good sign, an indication that she was becoming more confident in herself.

All in all, it seemed that R.I.S.A. was very intent of providing quite a party. R.I.S.A.'s 'main' copy (identified by being the most obviously A.I. one there, transparent, with holographic static) floated by Ashyr, seated at the head of the table, looking rather businesslike. [What sort of entertainment would you enjoy, ladies and gentlemen? Music of course, but would you like to see some dancers? Male dancers? Female? Male and female? And would you like them to be of the elegant or the more 'exotic' variety?]

"Just music, for now, R.I.S.A." Ashyr told the 'real' one beside her. Then a naughty smirk twitched across her face. "We'll save the dancers for 'dessert.'" Out of the corner of her eye, Ashyr caught Selene rolling her eyes at her, but the mage seemed amused by the female ranger's response. Still with Selene's feet in her lap, Ashyr brushed a quick fingernail against one of Selene's soles, which earned her a twitch and a noise of protest. "Are you rolling your eyes at your Matron?" Ashyr asked with mock severity. That got an imperious quirk of an elegant eyebrow.

Caleldir shook his head, chuckling. "You really are outdoing yourself here, R.I.S.A."

The A.I. and all her avatars blushed in tandem. [I have been planning this for a while now. She admitted. I love having guests, and I looked on all those parties you attended in Port Afron and thought that I could do better.]

"Well, this place is amazing," Caleldir replied. He turned to Selene. "I do not blame you for wanting to stay in here. You might have to get used to having R.I.S.A. around all the time, though." From what he gathered, the elegant drow's relationship with the A.I. was... odd. Not close, at very least.

Selene didn't respond immediately; she was eager to eat something that was not drow trail rations. The mage removed her feet from Ashyr's lap, sat forward, and began mage-handing spoonfuls of food onto her plate. "As long as I can have at least a semblance of personal space, I don't mind R.I.S.A's presence." Selene said between swallows of food. "How full is our library, by the way? We have books from Deusterra, correct? I think I might spend my time trying to learn the language." Selene wasn't anywhere near as skilled as Caleldir with learning languages, but she had collected a fair few in her lifetime in the pursuit of knowledge.

"Not many books here, I believe. R.I.S.A. did not take more than a few thousand of them with her," Caleldir responded

[7500, to be precise.] R.I.S.A. said to Selene, her 'main' body phasing over next to the younger drow. [A mid-size public library's worth. I brought with me a pretty good mix of subjects, though. Magic books, science, theology, history, culture, cookbooks, various textbooks. And a lot of novels. It pains me to admit, but a... certain genre is a bit over-represented. The Deusterrans did not produce much in the way of smut or sexually explicit materials, but I confess to having developed a taste for such fare, and so brought along more of that type than I care to admit.] The A.I.'s voice dropped to a conspiratorial tone. [I have some really, really naughty illustrated books that the Deusterran government had banned...]

"Sounds like fun." Caleldir said dryly, before taking another bite of delicious Fucking food (heh).

R.I.S.A. blushed and snapped to looking more stern and dispassionate. [Heh. Sorry. I will be sure to give you space, Selene, and I have a few Deusterran grammar textbooks and dictionaries that you might find helpful in learning the language. But if you would help me organize the books on the library shelves, I would be grateful.] Not that the A.I. needed the help at all, she could of course simply materialize the books on the shelves in whatever order she pleased, but she figured that Selene would jump at the chance to go through a few thousand old tomes detailing just about every conceivable aspect of the knowledge and culture of an extinct civilization.

"I suppose that will be adequate for now," Selene said with only a little better than thinly-veiled excitement. That would keep her busy for a long time, and it was a far more suitable activity for a noble mage than all that walking and riding had been. "As for the 'naughty' books you describe, I might take a look. Though I somehow doubt that it will be anywhere near as 'naughty' as some of the literature I enjoyed as a youth." That was said with a positively wicked smirk.

[Oh, I am sure that drow smutty literature is quite a bit more extreme than Deusterran erotica is.] R.I.S.A. replied placidly. [But some cross-cultural comparisons and analysis sound like a worthy scholarly endeavor, do you not think?]

"Of all the things to save..." Caleldir shook his head.

R.I.S.A. looked almost contrite for a moment, then looked mischievous. [Perhaps, Master Librarian, if someone had not designed my default avatar to be a curvy naked purple woman, this sort of thing could be avoided.]

Caleldir blushed and looked away. "I was using our tradition of the artistic nude as inspiration," he mumbled. A bevy of emotions washed over the A.I.'s face. On one hand, it was clear that she was already sorry that she had teased Caleldir like that, but also that she seemed rather satisfied. Caleldir caught her confused emotions out of the corner of her eye and gave her a grin. "It is a good point, R.I.S.A. Never feel bad at teasing me. Ashyr and Selene will tell you that I really kind of like it."

The A.I. was silent for a bit. [... pervert,] she muttered. Looking a bit flustered, the main avatar disappeared. Caleldir blushed again and looked down at his food.

Ashyr laughed aloud at the exchange between R.I.S.A. and Caleldir. All that blushing and awkwardness was strangely adorable. Even Selene had a bit of a smirk on her face.

"That aside, I would love to assist with organizing the books, if only to become absolutely familiar with everything we have." Selene said, more as an excuse to herself than a response to the A.I. who had fled the area. With that, the pregnant mage focused on eating. Since she refused to speak with her mouth full, she wasn't able to eat as quickly as she liked.

Butler(!)R.I.S.A. was still sticking around. It appeared as if the minor manifestations were not as susceptible to emotions as the true manifestation. They seemed more like actual, well-programmed holograms than a slightly unstable, emotional, ancient, succubized techno-goddess with a confused relationship with the world and her one remaining creator whom she had a crush on as well as a vague, semi-religious awe of despite the fact that she was undoubtedly vastly smarter and more powerful by every possible measure. Which was all to say that the butler, maid, and musician (playing rather nice, sedate music in the background) avatars were unaffected by R.I.S.A.'s sudden odd turmoil.

"I think you broke her, Cal," Ashyr observed.

Caleldir sighed. "I am not sure how I broke her this time," he muttered. "I was just trying to make her stop feeling bad about teasing me." As best as he could figure, R.I.S.A. was trying to overcome several contradictory aspects of her self-programming. Because at this point her original programming was vastly eclipsed by all of the self-modifications that she had done over the last thousand years. Frankly, Caleldir had only been privy to one percent of Storehouse One's (always affectionately called Storwa) original programming, and that had been incomprehensibly long ago.

For now, he would just have to try to talk with R.I.S.A. Or Risa. Or both of them. Try to help her get over her odd belated bout of pubescent awkwardness. And see about dealing with the odd alternate personality aspect of her. He could tell the difference in behavior between the main program and the alternate more succubized program, but he was still not entirely sure about why an alternate personality was needed. And R.I.S.A. had to think that it was needed, else it would not exist. Because the A.I. was perfectly in control of such things.

But now was not time to agonize over that. It was time to eat.

The 'Fucking Food' was delicious. Certainly, it was fit for a Lord -- the little goblin didn't know how to make food any other way. With R.I.S.A. as a kitchen aide, he could take the mundane and make it almost magical. Selene certainly appreciated it, though she would never tell Fucking that to his face. Ashyr, with her less refined palate, was just glad that she didn't have to cook her own food. She probably would have been happy with burnt roast. Tsabdrin was even more quiet than usual, so his opinions on the matter remained a mystery. He did eat quite a bit, though.

Speaking of, "I'm going to turn in for the night." Tsabdrin announced as he set down his utensils on the now empty plate in front of him.

"Alright," Ashyr said, "We'll have R.I.S.A. come get you when Caleldir and I are ready to head out again." The female ranger appeared to be done eating as well. She eyed the 'male' R.I.S.A, the gears in her head obviously turning. "So how about that dancing?" She asked with a growing grin. "Or should we adjourn to the bedroom for that?"

That earned her an eye roll from Selene. The mage did, however, become slightly more attentive after her cousin's suggestion.

"I am afraid that the secondary processes are not enough to give too complex of a dance with our mainframe this disrupted," the butler said genially. His voice was definitely masculine, but oddly so. It sounded like R.I.S.A. doing a really good imitation of a male voice, enough that she could pass as one, but still recognizably her. "So while we can still provide entertainment, it must be taken from a limited number of pre-selected choices."

Caleldir glanced over at Butler(!)R.I.S.A. "I think that she left her copies on auto-pilot," he muttered. He sighed, and turned to Selene, giving her a grin. "I think heading to the bedroom would be a good idea, though. Perhaps a massage to get the soreness out of your joints, my dear?" He gave Ashyr an amorous glance too. "And perhaps R.I.S.A. will be back to her old self if we give her a good show, eh?"

"Would you lead us up to our room, then?" Selene requested as she looked in the general direction of Butler(!)R.I.S.A. They had been to the room before, of course, but never actually found their way there. Ashyr may have been up for it, but Selene didn't feel like finding the way herself (and all the extra walking that that entailed; Selene was feeling really lazy).