A Fall of Stardust

That was July 13. By the next day, many many people became aware.

The first [non-scientific people] to notice were Newfies, residents of Newfoundland, who rose early because... well, because they were cold, damn cold, even in this warm midsummer season. They were cold because they had no bedclothes, no nightclothes, no curtains, no organic insulation.

Newfies attended the premiere of The Great Uncovering, as the effects of passing through the comet's tail the day before were called. All fabrics had vanished. Everyone in Newfoundland awoke naked, in homes stripped of fabrics, weavings, carpets, towels, and even ropes.

Even ropes -- and yes, canvas too. People stumbling outside in the early dawn saw sailboats sitting naked. Trees and poles and structures braced with rope fell over, their supports gone. Covered loads and heaped materials sat naked to the sky.

The phenomenon did not stop at the Gulf of St Lawrence. People woke cold and naked in New Brunswick, and Maine, and beyond, much farther beyond...

"Good morning! Welcome back to KCUF-13 News at Seven. Our lead story is still the Pope's reappearance. We'll have updates in just a few minutes. But now, with the latest on weather and wild winds, here's our hard-working and really hard-bodied staff meteorologist, Ivana Bigvun. Ivana, what can our viewers expect today?"

"Thanks, Jack. As you can see from the graphic, we'll have a nice warm day and more clear skies throughout our broadcast area. Last night was clear too, a perfect night for watching Comet Kent-Yanokya heading past the southern horizon. It's been showing quite a good tail..."

"And so have you, Ivana!"

"Er, thanks again, Jack. Anyway, weather will be splendid today, lots of sunshine, and we can expect some Santa Ana winds out of the northeast. They should clear out the smog by noon."

"So, conditions should be absolutely great for National Nude Day, right? Do you have any personal appearances scheduled for today? Can our viewers expect to see you out and about? All of you?"

"Well, no, I'm just going to curl up on a cot for a nap. That's all I ever have time for, dammit! I work like a slave here! And all you sexist pigs keep--"

"Thanks for that report, Ivana. We'll see you again at noon. Be sure to take your meds. Next, we'll hear from our commute-hour correspondent, Kimmy Komando, right after... Wait, folks, we're getting a news flash in from... from where? Bangor, Maine? Sure, I'd love to bang her main... Oh wait, you mean the city? Okay, here's a live special report from our live special reporter, um, Stu Wu."

"Thanks, Jack. Today is National Nude Day in the good old USA and it's getting off to a rousing start here in Bangor. Everybody is waking up naked! All the clothes have vanished! Mine too. That's why you're not getting a video feed. Everybody in the studio, and out on the street, is naked -- or they would be, if they're brave enough to go outdoors. The streets aren't exactly crowded. And people who do appear? Some of those folks... well, some folks just shouldn't expose themselves. My eyes hurt.

"Anyway, we're getting reports in from the Canadian Maritimes -- those are the states, er I mean provinces, just north and east of here. Everybody there is waking up naked too, and they're not even celebrating America's National Nude Day. Is this a sign of increased international cooperation? We can only hope so. This is Stu Wu in Bangor, Maine, signing off."

"Thanks for that special report, Stu. What, everybody there is naked? Hey, why the hell am I staying here? Oh yeah, I need the job. Okay, on to our commute-hour correspondent, Kimmy Komando, right after these messages..."

The timing was exquisite. Dawn swept across North America -- and swept away all fabrics, and more. Half a billion people awoke wearing nothing but skin, surrounded by nothing but bare walls, if that much.

As in Newfoundland, so in New York and Nebraska and New Mexico, in North Dakota and New Orleans and Nuevo Leon. Cloth in furnishings and carpeting and closets: gone. Fiber in tarps and paper: gone. All natural and synthetic threads: gone. Leather and hides and hairshirts: fallen apart.

It got worse. Cosmetics also vanished. North Americans had little to hide behind.

What was left? People, animals, trees, and plants still lived, intact. Metal, stone, concrete, and stick-built structures held together. Vehicle upholstery dissolved; frames and bodies remained entire. But the only fabrics left were woven metal.

In zoos and on farms, metal bars kept animals prisoner. But the fabric strands of webs and nets and screens were gone, and so were the beasts they had once restrained. Birds and bees, farmed fish and fatted fowls, herds tethered for grazing -- all were free to roam.

* ARLINGTON: The kennels in the Pentagon basement were in an uproar. Steel-caged service dogs barked furiously at scurrying monkeys, pigeons, rabbits, and other escapees from plastic-mesh enclosures in nearby secret labs and dens.

Alarm klaxons blared. Armed troops ran through the hallways. Technicians frantically checked their systems for the possible source of the momentous security breech. How had those animals got loose? Who was behind this? Heads would roll, for sure!

* APPALACHIA: Aaron had his aunt Sharon bent over a barrel on the front porch. He pounded away earnestly. He was determined to finish a good-morning fuck before he proceeded to his farm work. He always liked to start the day on a happy note. Didn't get much happier than a good fuck, now did it?

His favorite mule Dubya ran by the porch. Then a dozen goats. And even more swine. What? How did they get out? He had their stalls tied shut with good strong nylon rope! He kept pounding, and squirted, and reached for his coveralls. Hey, where did they go? He shrugged, and trundled off to his chores.

* AUGUSTA: The short fat man ran clumsily on the rough kudzu-lined roadway.

Rough, because only gravel was left after the asphalt dissolved. Clumsy, because he was naked, save for a pair of rubber flip-flop shower sandals, his only footwear to remain intact this morning. Running, because he was pursued by the band of angry chimps he had raised and trained in his compound. Trained with cruelty. Angered by cruelty. HIS cruelty.

They knew the cause of their misery. He did not stand a chance.

News coruscated through the planet's data web. People in-the-know knew something was amiss. Something big.

Researchers searched. Scholars scholated. Analysts anal-ized. Boffins boffed. They all communicated in real time -- the nascent nudists in North America, their clothed counterparts overseas, and those in orbit wearing space suits.

Oops. Comet dust infiltrated the International Space Station and the orbiting American and Russian and Chinese weapons stations. Fabrics dissolved. Seals failed. Almost everyone in space died. Oops. Chinese taikonauts on the Mars Mission were safely distant from the stardust. But what would they return to?

Surviving scientists started to put together a picture of what had happened, a very dark and disturbing picture. They were eager to show that picture to the world. Suitably censored, of course.

"Good afternoon! Welcome back to KCUF-13 News at Noon. Our lead story is still something I'd never have imagined -- National Nude Day. We used to think it was a joke, didn't we? Now it's a continental crisis. All across America, and Canada, and now Mexico, almost everybody is naked. And not because they want to be.

"The big questions on everybody's minds are: Why did this happen? How did this happen? What can be done? CAN anything be done? For answers to these and other questions, we turn to our special science correspondent, Harry Mann."

"Thanks, Jack. The country, no, the WORLD, faces a crisis of unprecedented scope and magnitude. There is evidence that The Great Uncovering is linked to the passage of Comet Kent-Yanokya. I have talked to scientists to find the causes and effects of this phenomenon.

"By the way, I was very lucky to find this suit of armor to wear. Without it, I would have to face the camera naked. That would not be a pretty sight, I assure you. Anyway, I'm with Professor Charles Chiron, chair of the Astronomy Department at Fairchild University. We're in the campus studio at F.U. -- let's learn the latest.

"Professor Chiron, can you tell us what happened?"

The distinguished man no longer wore his tweedy charcoal suit, nor anything else resembling clothing. His pudgy body was wrapped in tinfoil to cover his nakedness.

"Well, Harry, what we know -- we being my colleagues around the world, of course -- what we know is that Earth passed through the tail of Comet Kent-Yanokya. Dust from the comet's tail settled in Earth's atmosphere, initially in a path from near Baffin Island in Canada's northland, to the Hawai'ian Islands. That dust is now being carried around the globe by winds, relentless winds, winds that will cover us with the damned dust, and ruin us, and--"

"Er, hold it right there, professor. What is it about the comet dust? Why is it significant?"

"Oh, sorry. Umm, it turns out that much of the dust isn't normal matter. We think -- we hypothesize -- that it's the mysterious Dark Matter we've been seeking for many decades. Before, we could only guess at its properties. Now, we're learning. Twenty-four hours after the dust fell, it took effect.

"Something about what we're calling Dark Stardust interferes with certain molecular bonds in normal matter. Electromagnetic Force or EMF is what holds us together. Dark Stardust weakens and twists only a bit of that bonding. Think of a hacker skimming fragments of data -- Dark Stardust skims only a tiny smidgeon of EMF, just enough to upset delicate balances.

"The bonds most affected seem to be those involved in fibroids and polymers, long-chain molecules, whether natural or synthetic. Living connections seem unaffected. That's why we're still alive. But dead polymers and discrete connective tissues, whether plant or animal fibers, or extruded plastics, or certain pseudo-organic chemicals, just fall apart.

"The most dramatic effects are on what we humans normally use as coverings. The bonds of all our fabrics, skins, fibers and lotions have collapsed. Those materials turn into molecular dust, less than gnat shit. Umm, can I say 'gnat shit' on TV?"

"No problem, professor. We don't have those fucking tight-ass FCC rules to bother us anymore, not since the Supreme Court's Gaga ruling. But, you were saying...?"

"Oh yes, where was I? Molecular dust, yes, very very fine dust. We can't even see it as powder. When semi-liquids like lotions and other cosmetics come unbound, just water and oil remain; everything else vanishes. Our personal apparel is now only dust in the wind.

"And it's not just a personal matter. Much of our technical infrastructure depends on exactly these materials. And those materials are gone. GONE! Harry, our industrial civilization is grinding to a halt! Humanity's machineries are failing fast! We're all fucking DOOMED! We're--"

"Er, thank you for your insights, professor. Let's return to Jack Offndoz in the KCUF-13 studio. Jack?"

"Thanks, Harry. That was Harry Mann, reporting live from Fairchild University, good old F.U. He's probably out chasing naked cheerleaders right now, the lucky bastard. Anyway, it's time for our fashion segment here at KCUF-13 News at Noon, right after these messages..."

Dell and Glyneth had awakened at the same time that morning. They had to -- their bed was mostly gone. Pajamas, blankets, sheets, mattress covering, all vanished. Only the bedframe and mattress springs remained. Try to stay asleep on bare mattress springs, folks. Go ahead, try.

The bedroom curtains were gone, too. Dawn's first light streamed through the bare window and reflected off the mirrored walls. The room was bright.

The light was revealing. Much too revealing. It disclosed everything.

Dell rolled over. He saw Glyneth's naked body. He gasped. Her potions and makeup had evaporated. Her undisguised flesh was covered with scratches, bites, hickeys, bruises, all the telltale signs of vigorous physical abuse and sexual scarring.

He also saw what was under her side of the bed -- a big box of condoms. Dell never used condoms, not with his wife. He gasped again.

Glyneth heard her husband's gasps. She opened her eyes, looked at herself, and groaned.

"Oh shit oh shit..." she whispered.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Dell did not whisper.

"Honey, I can explain..."

"EXPLAIN WHAT? That you're a fucking masochist? That you're a fucking whore? What the fuck you gonna explain? You gonna explain that somebody hasn't been biting and sucking your tits and thighs and pussy? You gonna explain that this is just my fucking imagination? C'mon, bitch, what you gonna explain?"

"Honey, I love you! It's just that..."

"HONEY?!? Don't fucking call me honey! Call me sir! And call yourself a whore! Then call yourself a cab! You are fucking OUT of here! NOW! I'm fucking filing for divorce! You are GONE! Put on some clothes and GO! Get the fuck OUT!"

Glyneth crawled to the closet and slid open the mirrored door. She shrieked.

"My clothes! What did you do with all my clothes?"

Dell stood by his own closet door. "I didn't do shit with your fucking clothes. I-- hey, where the fuck are MY clothes? What did you do with'em, bitch?"

"I didn't do anything," Glyneth wailed. She collapsed on the exposed subfloor, weeping. "Oh shit, oh shit, what's going on?"

"I don't know exactly what went on, but I know what's gonna happen. You're gonna get out of my house!"

Dell stomped toward her -- and tripped, his foot slipping on a small pile of slick foil-wrapped condom packages that sprawled from their broken carton. He fell forward. He landed right between Glyneth's spread scarred thighs. His face squished into her battered vulva.

Guess what happened next.

Go ahead, guess.

Hint: Think, teeth.

Dell and Glyneth's encounter, with variations, was repeated a billion times around the planet over the next few days. Other scenes played out on Stardust Day, formerly National Nude Day.

* ALBANY: The paparazzo lurking in a building across the way from the luxury hotel suite thought he had scored! The window curtains fell away, revealing the Governor and three women, all naked and fornicating.

The fotog's clothes vanished too, but he was not deterred. He raised his digital SLR camera, zoom lens extended to full telephoto, and clicked furiously. But when he checked the LCD screen he saw only blank images. Alas, the camera shutter used a cloth curtain -- which had dissolved.

* AKRON: Ashley took her job seriously. At the Goodyear Technical Center, she developed new polymers for thin applications, especially condoms. She personally tested each new run of synth-latex.

She was busily testing the latest batch with the help of Jeremy and David. She did not notice when clothes disappeared; they were all naked. She barely noticed that the set of test condoms had also vanished. She sat with Jeremy's cock embedded in her anus and David's buried in her pussy. So the condoms went missing -- so what? She would deal with them later. Right.

* ATLANTA: Overnight attendants at the Centers for Disease Control noted that sexual activity increased dramatically in populations of laboratory animals, over a day after dustfall. Rodents, rabbits, birds, monkeys -- all commenced fucking like stoned hyperactive weasels.

The researchers made notations in their journals, then felt uncontrollable urges of their own, especially after their clothes vanished. They indulged. Managers and co-workers arriving for the morning shift also indulged.

* AUSTIN: Most Team Yayhoo members showed up for the dawn practice run, eager to avoid the blazing midday sun. Cyclists clustered close for mutual security as they pedaled downtown streets and dodged light early-morning motorized traffic.

They were near the state capitol when their clothes disappeared and tires started leaking air. They necessarily ground to a halt. "What the fuck?" "What happened?" "Screw it, let's go home." Nobody was arrested for indecency; the cops were all naked too.

* ASPEN: Madison awoke, uncomfortably intertwined with her blond 'cousin' Judy. Damn, what happened to the mattress? Why were they lying on springs?

Judy rolled awake too. They looked at each other, and paled. No, their nightclothes had not vanished -- they slept naked together -- but all their makeup was gone. They saw they had both concealed a birthmark. Identical birthmarks.

They looked again. Oh no! That was proof: they were really identical twins! They read each other's eyes, and simultaneously thought, FUCK IT! They dove into a juicy classic 69. Yummy!

* ALAMEDA: David unsealed the doors of the Church of Naked Jesus and wept with joy. Naked people roamed streets laced with fog from the Golden Gate. Not the best people: hookers, druggies, drunks, wasted night-shift workers, all with no immediate shelter. All naked.

David called to his vestrywoman Toshi. Together they gathered wanderers. "All is foretold in Biblical prophesy! Naked we came to Earth, and naked we go to Heaven. Show no shame! God loves your bodies!"

So do I, he thought, grinning lasciviously.

* ANAHEIM: Professor Chiron could take no more. He staggered barefoot and naked down campus paths to the boulevard. He carried a signboard with DOOM! painted in red. He shouted DOOM! FUCKING DOOM! as he walked past mini-malls and apartment blocks.

People emerged from doorways and stared at him. Some followed him. One such was his wife, leaving the apartment of a junior colleague. The professor did not notice her.

* ALBUQUERQUE: Rose was 14 when she was raped, 15 when she gave birth to Melissa, 16 when she Came To Jesus, and 20 when she disappeared. Melissa followed pretty much the same path except for disappearing. She never strayed too far from the Cañoncito reservation.

But when Reverend Ritchie's clothes vanished in a miraculous PUFF! and he stood before her in all his naked glory, she KNEW he was indeed a holy messenger. She opened her dusky Navaho thighs for him. Hallelujah!

* AGUASCALIENTES: Something dug into José's skin. ¡Caramba! He rolled over in bed, but felt only warm dirt. The cotton bed-sack stuffed with corn-husk ticking was gone! José and his wife Maria, nursing baby Jesús, naturally slept raw, but their rough handwoven clothes were no longer piled beside the bed. Their wool blanket was also gone. Had thieves struck in the night, taking their meager possessions? Maybe -- but not the bedding too! Impossible!

José stumbled to the doorway of the adobe casita. He saw his neighbors, men and women alike, wandering outside, naked. ¡Caramba!

* ACAPULCO: The beachfront tourist palapa shook gently in dawn's offshore breeze. It shook even more when the hammocks Dale, Evan, Roy, Roger, Gabby, and Hayes slept in all dissolved, dumping the vacationing Texans onto dry sand, butt-naked.

Roy was the first to regain his wits -- he had smoked the least of last night's primo Oaxaca bud. "Hey, what y'all know?" Bloodshot eyeballs peered back in confusion. Dale saw their nakedness and licked her lips. "Still party time, guys!" she crooned, cradling Evan's balls.

The Great Uncovering was traumatic. Far too many people discovered far too many secrets about their partners, families, and so-called friends. Clothes and cosmetics no longer concealed personal secrets. Out into the open came scars, tattoos, splices -- and disturbing physical characteristics and appendages.