A Gift in Disguise Ch. 03

I returned to my apartment from class the next day to find a voicemail message from Lorraine: "Tom, it's Lorraine. Please call me today if it's convenient."

She sounded relaxed, even casual, with no alarm in her message. It was about 3 p.m. when I returned her call.

"Tom, thank you for calling back today. I hadn't expected our session yesterday afternoon to end exactly the way it did. Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

"But you're okay?" I asked.

"Oh, believe me, I'm just fine. But I would like to meet with you and Kim, tomorrow afternoon if possible, to discuss yesterday's meeting. There are definitely some things we need to discuss with you."

"I could be at your office about 4 p.m. if that would be soon enough?"

"That would be fine. Kim had suggested later afternoon would work best for her, too. And Tom, I really want to thank you for yesterday afternoon, both for being willing to participate in the experiment and for talking with Kim afterward. We'll see you tomorrow."

Lorraine greeted me very warmly at her office door the next day. She seemed relaxed and refreshed as she led me to her inner office. Kim was already there and was equally warm.

"Tom, Kim told me what you said to her after yesterday's meeting. I really appreciate your insight. I would not have been able to objectively recognize and evaluate my responses you experienced. It's hard for me to know if what you saw and felt as I was walking toward you was caused by the additional relatively minor electrical stimulation of the phallus or by my own psychological response to it. When Kim and I reviewed earlier videos of me without the phallus in place and compared them with the video from yesterday, we confirmed what you saw.

First, let's discuss the results of yesterday's retest. Probably most important for you, your actions during the retest, afterward with me, and your observations to Kim ought to reassure you that your sexual preference is for women. As I noted after your first test several months ago, like most men you are aroused by sexual contact between women. Your arousal is very pronounced when you see two women engaging in sexual contact, provided it is the kind of contact you would like to engage in yourself with a woman. If the sexual contact between women was offensive to you, your arousal diminished quickly.

You have a healthy sexual curiosity when you see sexual contact outside what you've defined your norms to be. You seem to view each circumstance differently and make a judgement, if you are going to make one, based on your own standards. Both Kim and I were a bit surprised, pleasantly, that you did not react more negatively when you saw transexual women engaging in frottage. And when you agreed to allow me wear the phallus and engage in frot with you, that affirmed it. Clearly, you know I am a woman, and that unquestionably heavily influenced your decision to proceed with the experiment. Still, your responses were based on the person you were with, not the nature and quality of a particular appliance or appendage."

She paused to see if I had any comment or questions. Of course, I did.

"Lorraine, when you were wearing your 'cock' and we were having sex yesterday, what did you feel that was different? Before, you said you weren't sure if you would feel anything different. You weren't even sure if you would cum. But obviously, at least according to Kim, you did."

"Yes, Tom, it was different -- or at least some of it was unexpected. When I walked out of the room yesterday before the test, I behaved as a woman. I did a little strip-tease to tantalize you, but also to stimulate myself. Nothing explicit, just mildly suggestive. I can become aroused watching either a man or woman seductively removing clothing in anticipation of sex. The act of disrobing, particularly if it is skillfully done, can be highly erotic.

But when I walked back into the room wearing my 'cock' and saw your reaction, something in me was changed slightly. I felt the way I can only imagine a man might have felt if it had been a woman lying naked on the bed and obviously aroused. If there had been any uncertainty in my mind before re-entering the room, it disappeared when I saw you. Every cell in my body seemed to become intently focused on both getting and giving sexual pleasure. And once I had my and your cocks in my hand and began stroking them together, that focus intensified even more.

You're right, of course. Before we began, I wasn't sure if I would orgasm or not. But the instant we touched, that doubt went away. I don't know exactly why, but it did. I hadn't expected your 'gift' to influence my orgasm, because I assumed it could only work if you were touching my clit or some other sexually sensitive area. Not only was I wrong on that assumption, but it almost seems in retrospect that yesterday's orgasm was stronger and lasted longer than if you had been fucking me.

That may be related in some way to Kim's observation that when she removed the phallus from me, it seemed noticeably warmer than would have been expected from just the friction of our bodies and our body temperature. Her impression was that there had been some sort of internal electrical malfunction. I've already returned the unit to be analyzed."

Lorraine stopped talking and looked at me with a look of puzzlement.

"Tom, is something wrong? You seem to be a little uneasy."

I looked at Kim, trying to decide whether now was the best time to discuss my dream. I decided it was, and for the next few minutes, I recounted as much detail about it as I could recall. Neither of them spoke one word while I was talking. When I finished, both Lorraine and Kim were oddly quiet, both looking as if they had entered the Twilight Zone. Finally, Lorraine first looked at Kim who nodded an unspoken assent, then Lorraine broke the silence.

"Tom, as you know, Kim has been my client since before you met her. After you gave me permission to identify you to her, she saw you several times at the university pool. During one of my sessions with her after seeing you at the pool, she revealed a dream that was almost identical in every respect to the one you just described to us. In it, she was the sexual aggressor toward you, she had a penis, she was wearing a one-piece swimsuit, and in her dream she was able to orgasm as she had been unable to do for years. Of course, you ejaculated in your dream whereas she did not orgasm in hers.

When Kim recounted her dream to me, she and I discussed under what circumstances and how she and you might achieve mutual sexual fulfillment. Our meeting at Kim's house, the meeting I needed to leave unexpectedly, was intended to facilitate that. Neither Kim nor I had expected that you and she would actually have sex during that meeting, however. But when I was called away to the hospital, Kim's own obviously strong sexual instincts took control.

Of course, she was not wearing the phallus, and her pubic hair had regrown from when it was removed so she could wear the phallus. But the combination of her own natural attributes both concealed and revealed by her very sexy one-piece swimsuit and her sexually suggestive aggression towards you resulted in a far better outcome than either she or I had expected for the meeting."

"So several weeks ago Kim had the same dream I did? Is that what you're telling me?"

"Exactly, Tom," Kim answered before Lorraine could. "Though different in time, your dream and mine were remarkably similar down to almost the last detail."

"Maybe I shouldn't ask," I said tentatively, "But what's with you having a cock?"

Lorraine jumped in. "Tom, have you ever heard, 'When you hear hoofbeats behind you, expect horses, not zebras?'"

"Yes, I have. What's that got to do with..."

"In Kim's case, Tom, it simply means that her mind is suggesting to her that her sexual experience might be more or at least differently fulfilling if she, as a woman, had a penis. Just as you affirmed that a woman to whom you are already sexually attracted may become even more attractive if she is unshaven, so Kim wondered, and wanted to affirm or refute, that her sex as a woman but with a heterosexual man might be more exciting if she had a penis. She has no desire to be a man, to undergo a gender change with all that entails. Rather, she would simply like to experience what it feels like. Maybe more than once but without any permanence.

Of course, in the interim she experienced a real orgasm with you, yet she still has this curiosity about what it would feel like to have a penis and have sex with a heterosexual man."

"Like you did with me?" I asked Lorraine.

"Well, in your case it was to see how you would react to a partner with a penis, even if it was only a phallus," Lorraine responded.

I thought I detected a hint of defensiveness in her voice, so I pursued that.

"But you can't deny you enjoyed it, can you?" I asked her.

"Well, no, but..."

For the first time in all our meetings, a visible uncertainty had crept into Lorraine's voice. As I spoke and Lorraine responded, I looked at Kim. Oddly enough, she seemed to be enjoying my challenging Lorraine. In fact, I thought I saw a moment of that "I want you" look Kim had given me at her pool days earlier.

Before Lorraine could continue, I turned to Kim and asked, "Kim, when you were watching Lorraine and I having sex the other day when she was wearing the phallus, did it turn you on?"

I had expected her to become rather defensive, but she looked first at Lorraine then back at me, then directly into my eyes, and said, "I was wishing it was me instead of Lorraine fucking you. And after seeing and hearing Lorraine's orgasm with you, I want it even more."

Lorraine was clearly startled by Kim's uncharacteristic bluntness. "Kim, I'm not sure..." She started to interject, but Kim cut her off.

"I am, Lorraine. And I think Tom is, too. Aren't you, Tom." It was an assertion, not really a question.

Kim's normally soft-spoken nature had become edgy, and it had an immediate arousing effect on me. I couldn't precisely articulate it, but somehow I sensed inside me that my sexual attraction for Kim and for having sex with her while she was wearing the phallus was different in some way from the feeling I'd had just before fucking Lorraine wearing hers.

Still, it surprised both Lorraine and me that the normally slightly reserved Kim would so clearly and explicitly express a desire to be watched while fucking me. She must have seen Lorraine's and my expressions.

"What?" she asked. "Are you concerned now that I'm over the orgasm hump, that maybe you've created some sexual monster? Tom, I suspect you'd say you're turned on a little bit by being watched. And I know Lorraine is. Look, I don't want my pictures spread all over the internet, and I know that isn't going to happen. I'd rather be here with someone I trust than be spotted going into some dive motel by some sleazy private investigator."

Kim was now looking me straight in the eye as she continued.

"Lorraine knows I have other sexual fantasies, Tom. She and I haven't discussed your possibly being involved in fulfilling them, because neither she nor I want to in any way reverse the progress you've made. If you'd like, you and I can discuss my fantasies, and yours if you want, privately or with Lorraine, and then we can decide together if we want to try them."

Kim went silent, and it was a few seconds before Lorraine spoke up.

"Well, I'd suggest that we all should sleep on Kim's revelation rather than doing anything right now. And it's important to find out why the phallus I was wearing seemed to overheat before anyone uses one again. At least one of our objectives is still to analyze Tom's 'gift' and to determine its origin and long-term effects."

After some discussion about Lorraine's suggestion, we all finally agreed. That was a logical point for our meeting on this day to end, so I left to return home and study.

Even during my drive home, my mind created an image of Kim wearing her phallus and walking toward me as Lorraine had. Those thoughts had the expected effect, and unfortunately, they limited my ability to focus on my studies.

The next day I decided to skip one of my classes and catch up on the studying. Just as my attention was finally fully on my engineering project, my apartment telephone rang.

"Tom, I'm surprised you're home." It was Lorraine. "The lab called me with some preliminary information on the analysis of my phallus. They expect to have full results to me by Thursday evening. Would it be possible for you to meet with Kim and me at my place sometime Friday to discuss them?"

"Yeah, I guess. It would have to be after 4 p.m., though. I've got a meeting with my thesis committee at 2 p.m., and it is likely to go for at least an hour and maybe longer."

"How about if we set it for 7 p.m., then? Or did you have plans for Friday night?"

"No, 7 would be fine. I'll be there. Do I need to do anything special?" The question was my subtle (or maybe not so much) way of asking if I needed to avoid jacking off until then.

"No, we'll just be discussing whatever the lab's results were," Lorraine answered knowingly. "We'll see you Friday night, then." With that, she hung up.

The next day I returned from classes to find yet another voicemail from Lorraine.

"Tom, the lab called today with another update on the phallus test results. Now the lab's owner and principal scientist wants to meet personally with Kim and me to discuss the results. Obviously she doesn't know about your involvement in this matter, so it is a bit of a problem if you're there Friday evening. My concern is that she may begin to get into an area of questions that would breach my promise of confidentiality to you if I answer. Please give me a call so we can discuss this."

I called Lorraine's cell phone. She picked up on the first ring.

"Tom, hi. Thanks for calling back. Did you understand my voicemail message okay?"

"Sure. How much about me and my involvement with you will be revealed to her? I guess what I'm really asking is, how much do you trust her to not betray your or my confidence?"

"Reasonable questions, Tom. She anticipated that Kim or I might have some questions. At that point, without going into any detail I explained there was a third person involved. Knowing only that, but not knowing anything about you or your 'gift', she has given me full permission to provide whatever information you or Kim might need to feel more comfortable.

First, her name is Jamie. Her company is JKL Laboratories, Inc. In addition to her office manager, she employs an electronics technician, a materials specialist, and a machinist. None of them will know your identity, and they will only be given the information they need to do their jobs. Only Jamie will know who you are and the nature of your association with Kim and me.

Probably the most important thing for you to know is that JKL is highly specialized. It designs and manufactures highly advanced prosthetic devices. JKL is under contract to do R&D for the Defense Department to try and restore sensory and mobility functionality to US personnel who have been injured in service to the country.

This mission is very close to Jamie's heart. Her father lost a hand in Viet Nam and was discharged from the Army. She grew up watching her father struggle with a marginally adequate prosthetic hand. When she went to college, she took two baccalaureate degrees, one in electrical engineering and one in mechanical engineering. Both her masters and doctorate degrees focused on the integration of prosthetic devices with the human neural, muscular, and skeletal systems.

Independent of her research for DoD, Jamie has patented several prosthetic technologies, then licensed the patents to manufacturers. The profits are used to fund further research.

If you agree to allow her to work with us, I think you will be fascinated with her. As you might have guessed, she worked with me to design and build my sexual polygraph. The remote ECG sensors were her design as well, and as I'm sure you now have deduced, she built the prototype phalluses for Kim and me. That shouldn't really come as a surprise to you, because she understands that prematurely disrupted or removed sexual function can be as disabling as the loss of a limb for some people.

So, Tom, what other questions do you have?"

I had listened intently to Lorraine's recitation about Jamie.

"Lorraine, if you and Kim feel that Jamie's interest may be of value in helping people with either medical or psychological issues and if you trust her discretion, then I don't have any problem with your telling her the details of my case insofar as they will help other people. I mean, I've given it a lot of thought since I first came to your office, and I'm not ashamed that I had a problem you helped. I'm also not ashamed that I have been having sex with you and Kim."

There was a long pause. Since I had called her cell phone, I was afraid the connection might have been broken.

"Lorraine -- are you still there?"

"I'm still here, Tom. I'm just stunned and, frankly, gratified that you're willing to do that. That will make it simpler, but there are still some issues I have to deal with before I can involve you further in the meeting. Once those issues have been resolved, if they can be, and after I've explained them to you, you will understand."

Clearly one of the issues she alluded to was the risk of revealing to outsiders that she and I, a psychologist and her client, had been having sex. The fact that her treatment was completely successful would be irrelevant to many people. Likewise, she would be concerned that Kim's professional reputation and marriage could both be jeopardized if it came out that Kim and I had sex. The more people who knew, the greater the likelihood of exposure.

"Again, Tom, thank you for being so open and willing to continue to participate. I'll call you back tomorrow afternoon to let you know the resolution."

With that, she disconnected.

Now, it doesn't take an Einstein to figure out what may have also concerned Lorraine was the lab's failure analysis on the phallus may have shown nothing definitive to explain the overheating Kim had felt when she removed it from Lorraine. I deduced Lorraine was concerned that Jamie would want to know the circumstances leading up to the overheating. My releasing Lorraine from our agreement of confidentiality had resolved part of that, but obviously Lorraine would need to tell her about my 'gift' and how it may have generated some electricity that could have influenced or damaged the phallus' delicate electronics. Yes, she clearly had some issues to deal with.

The next day's message from Lorraine was terse: "Tom, please call me on my cell phone."

I returned her call immediately. Our conversation was brief and to the point. Without going into any detail, she said she had resolved nearly all the issues attendant to taking Jamie into our confidence. She asked me to reaffirm I had no objections to revealing any relevant details of my case to Jamie. That included letting Jamie, but no one else, view any of the videos Lorraine had made that included me. Lorraine concluded by saying everything would be clearly and completely explained to me at the Friday meeting. Lorraine, Kim, Jamie, and I would be the only ones there. Without any hesitation, I agreed. After all, Lorraine and Kim had far more to lose than I did if our sessions became known.

Of course, I was immediately curious about Jamie. Considering what Lorraine had told me about her, if she hadn't been some child prodigy that graduated from college at 16 or something like that, she had to be at least 30, probably older. Obviously she was committed and intelligent, having two engineering degrees and then post-graduate degrees in disciplines suggesting extensive education or experience in the biological and health sciences. I wasn't exactly intimidated, but certainly was fascinated. Given my personal issue and the nature of my contact with both Lorraine and Kim, I did briefly consider what such a brainiac might look like as a woman. There was little reason to spend much time speculating on that, though. It seemed likely my contact with her would be limited to one meeting at Lorraine's the following Friday.