A Gift in Disguise Ch. 04

As Kim talked, her mood seemed to improve.

"Do you think Lorraine will mind?" I asked.

"No, not at all. In fact, Lorraine and I had discussed involving Amanda in your case at some point, but of course we were going to clear it with you first. Now is as good a time to bring her in as any. I think you'll like her. By the way, Marta knows her, too, and she will be very happy to give you any reassurance you need about Amanda's discretion."

Throughout our conversation, Kim's voice had sounded rather flat, distracted, even sad. I wondered if she was going through some sort of depression after her husband's death a few months earlier.

"I don't know if Jamie plans to invite her to our meeting at Jamie's on Tuesday. Since I've got you on the phone, I was wondering if it might be possible for me to meet with you and Lorraine, probably at Lorraine's, sometime this weekend. Jamie has already been working with you two on your phalluses, but I'm coming late into the project. I'd really like to talk with you and Lorraine to help me get up to speed quicker."

"I wish, but with my daughter Sarah coming home Monday on vacation, I've got a long list of things to do. I'm looking forward to seeing her again, but I could sure use some Tom therapy. As for Lorraine, I don't know. Why don't you meet with her if she's available?"

"Okay, I'll call her and see if she can meet with me."

Then, just as I was ready to hang up to call Lorraine, Kim said, "If your schedule allows it, maybe you could come over to the house and meet Sarah sometime while she's here. Walter was a good and loving husband and father, but since Sarah took over the businesses after he died, she's been working too hard on another acquisition. She's way too focused on work. I'm afraid the girl is going to work herself into a heart attack before she's even reaches 25."

"I'd like to meet her," I said. My enthusiasm was totally fake. What I was thinking was really just how awkward meeting Kim's daughter, Sarah, might be. I can just imagine the introduction: "Tom, this is Sarah, my daughter who's just a few months younger than you. Sarah, this is Tom, the young man who has been giving your mother fabulous orgasms every time we fuck. Iced tea, anyone?"

I called Lorraine. Unfortunately, she was just leaving on her way to attend a weekend seminar for psychologists so she could get required continuing education units or something. She said, sincerely it sounded like, that she would much rather meet with me. She heartily endorsed having Jamie inform Dr. Amanda Wallace about the details of my case, and she encouraged me to be as forthright with Dr. Wallace as I had been with them.

After my conversation with Lorraine, I called Kim back.

"Hi, Kim. I just finished talking with Lorraine. She's got some kind of seminar or something she has to attend this weekend, so she won't be able to meet with me either."

"Well, at least you'll get some studying done this weekend, and I'll get the housework done. Still, I'd rather be ..."

"Yeah, me too," I said sincerely.

I gave some thought to going home for the weekend but decided to stay at my apartment and focus on my thesis. My Monday and Tuesday classes were nothing special. I had coffee with one of my master's committee members. He expressed some surprise at how much the quality of my research had improved during the past year, and he began encouraging me to apply for the PhD program. My mind kept drifting away from the campus and to my appointment with Jamie at her lab on Tuesday evening.

Finally, it was time to go see Jamie. I arrived at her lab promptly at 5:30, and she was at the door to greet me with a hug and peck on the cheek.

"Great news, Tom! Amanda is here to meet with us, too," she said as she led me to her private office. It wouldn't have broken my heart if it had just been me and Jamie, but things are what they are.

When we walked in to Jamie's office, there was a woman standing and looking out the window. She turned to face us, and my sexual radar gave me a strong signal before I even shook her hand in response to Jamie's introduction.

"Dr. Amanda Wallace, this is Tom Connors. Tom, Dr. Wallace."

When I had first met attorney Marta Cruz and shook her hand, the sexual connection had been noticeable. With Dr. Wallace, it was more like a thermonuclear explosion.

Dr. Amanda Wallace was taller than Jamie and with flowing, shoulder-length Chestnut hair, about 40 years old, and wearing a sleeveless dress that stopped just above her knee. Although the dress did not show much skin, it could hardly be called staid. No one would have mistaken her for a late-teen - early 20's runway model, though her poise and graceful movements suggested she had almost certainly had some modeling experience. She had a seductive face with penetrating, intelligent eyes and a killer smile. I could not recall ever seeing more beautiful lips on a woman. At about 5-1/2 feet tall and 140 pounds, Amanda was not matchstick skinny or slender, but if she was carrying any extra pounds, it was blended perfectly and proportionally into her legs, hips, waist, and bust. In combination they would harden any man's cock, and mine was proving to be no exception.

"Tom, it's really a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for allowing Lorraine and Kim and Jamie to share so much of your information with me. I spent the weekend reviewing it. In fact, I just finished my preliminary examination of it before leaving to come here. I haven't even had a chance to discuss it with Jamie, so before we get into the discussion of her phallus project, could we talk for a while about your 'gift'?"

"I don't mind. Is it okay with you, Jamie?"

"Of course it is, Tom," Jamie responded.

"I'll be brief today, although after I've had a chance to study it more thoroughly, I would very much like to go over it with you in detail at some other time, Tom." That was the message I heard with my ears, but the message from her eyes to mine added the unspoken words, "...in private."

Without waiting for my response, Amanda continued, "I'm very impressed with the work that first Lorraine, then Kim, and now Jamie have done to identify and quantify your 'gift', Tom. A large part of their success must be attributed to your being open and honest with them. Men, especially younger men your age, tend to not be willing to discuss their own sexuality as openly with others, especially not with women. Frankly, I was astonished when you so readily agreed to allow Lorraine and Kim and Jamie to give me all of your information, including the videos. Their systematic diligence combined with your willingness to be open to them, and hopefully to me as well, has resulted in some very remarkable and interesting findings.

Lorraine recognized from almost the very beginning that there was, and is, nothing physiologically or psychologically wrong with you. Actually, the other medical and behavioral practitioners that you had seen before coming to her were equally correct, but they simply stopped before acknowledging that while there was nothing wrong with you, nothing they could treat, you still needed resolution to your original issue. All the medical mumbo-jumbo and the psychobabble that sounds impressive when written up in the professional journals wasn't going to help you enjoy sex.

Lorraine committed to giving you the reassurance you needed by having sex with you. As she told me, the first time you two fucked, she intuitively knew that you had something very unique in your sexual performance, what you've all come to call your 'gift.' And when her A-fib began to inexplicably abate after several sessions with you, she began to consider that sexing up with you was not only extremely pleasurable and satisfying, it might also be therapeutic. That's when she decided to talk with Kim.

Being a practicing and research neurocardiologist, Kim was at first appropriately skeptical that Lorraine's A-fib was disappearing more and more after each time you and Lorraine had sex, but she could not disprove that theory either. And, of course, Kim had some sexual concerns of her own, one of them being primarily her inability to experience an orgasm after the birth of her daughter, Sarah, some twenty-one years earlier. You and Kim undoubtedly recognized the sexual attraction between you from the outset. As a result, Kim was comfortable seducing you into having sex with her. Of course, you were quite willing to be seduced, and I suspect her seduction simply added to both her and your excitement and confidence. And at some point she revealed to you her sexual fantasies -- her desire to somehow have a penis so she could experience sex as if she were a man, and her latent desire to have sex with her adult son.

Of course, unknown to you, Lorraine and Kim and Jamie had already been working to help Kim address two of those issues: her inability to orgasm and her desire to have a penis without any permanent surgical change. Lorraine had contacted Jamie, and with Kim's cooperation, they had first built an anatomically sophisticated penis for Lorraine to wear while having sex with Kim to help Kim orgasm. Even though wearing the phallus while fucking Kim caused Lorraine to experience unexpected and intense orgasms, it did not help Kim, so Jamie and Kim designed a similar one for Kim to wear while she was having sex with Lorraine. And once again, although Lorraine received some small pleasurable effect herself, Kim didn't cum. It wasn't until Kim had sex with you that she was able to finally experience orgasms again. To her surprise, and both your and her intense pleasure, you were also willing to experience cock-to-cock frot sex with Kim while she was wearing the phallus, and you also indulged her fantasy by role-playing as her son while you were having sex.

So that brings us to the point where Jamie is now. She wants to continue to refine the phallus so that it can hopefully become a prosthetic penis for men who have lost their own, but she also reluctantly recognizes the truly beneficial effect it can have on improving certain women's sexual pleasure and performance as well."

Amanda paused to let us all catch up with what she had said. Then she proceeded:

"Men and women respond to sexual stimuli differently.

As you know, a man capable of sexual performance achieves orgasm, but then his desire usually drops off fairly quickly. How soon after that he can become aroused enough to have sex again is a function of his overall health and stamina.

A woman, on the other hand, often experiences orgasm differently than a man. In fact, sexual intercourse for a woman can be very satisfying without climaxing. However, once aroused to orgasm, hers is not always as dramatic as a man's nor does it end as quickly. Moreover, once she has achieved some level of orgasm, her desire and arousal does not diminish as much or as quickly as a man's. Consequently, many women can have what appears to be several orgasms in a very brief overall period, and her recovery time between them is considerably shorter than a man's. In popular literature she is said to be multi-orgasmic. It's not technically correct but it is a convenient way to express it.

To get to the point, Tom, I believe that the CT scans Lorraine, Kim, and Jamie have done have given us a much better understanding of the brain's responses in arousal and during orgasm. In particular, Jamie's time-synchronizing subject video with the subject's CT scan was a brilliant work of investigative science, because it allowed us to simultaneously see the subject's brain responses as well as his or her outwardly visible responses. Based on all of the data they've gathered, particularly involving you and Kim masturbating each other during your respective CT scans, I think their theory of sexual synchronicity between sexual partners is quite accurate.

My own analysis of the CT scans is that your personal orgasm response, Tom, is somewhat different from that of other men. Your orgasm seems to be triggered by your partner's, and your orgasmic response seems to last longer and without the expected diminution in intensity. I believe the effect of those two factors defines your 'gift.' I very much hope you will allow me to explore your personal orgasm response in more detail, Tom."

Her eyes bore into mine to emphasize the last sentence. Then she went on.

"I believe, and the CT data stream that produced the images seems to support this, that one component of your 'gift' is to significantly shorten the interval times, the recovery times, between your partner's orgasmic responses. In other words, Tom, instead of your partner experiencing an orgasm, then recovering for a few seconds or minutes until you arouse her again to orgasm, she experiences what her body perceives as one prolonged and very intense orgasm.

And unlike many, maybe most, men who ejaculate uncontrollably, the precise timing of your orgasm and ejaculation are apparently controlled by your partner's own orgasm. That is the sexual synchronicity between you and your partner. Somehow, the orgasm controls in your and your partner's brains seem to synchronize so that your brain delays your own orgasm until yours will allow your partner to achieve the maximum pleasurable effect when she cums. Then you both cum at nearly but not precisely the same time so you both experience maximum orgasms. Does this kind of make sense, Tom?"

"So before I was going to Lorraine, you think my inability to stay hard enough to penetrate other women was possibly because we simply weren't in synch sexually?"

"That's exactly what I believe, Tom. Your brain somehow recognized the absence of some essential sexual signals from your partner, and it simply shut down your own sexual response. You were getting those essential signals from Linda, the girl in high school, and that's why you and she were able to mutually masturbate each other to orgasm. Your masturbatory orgasms with her were so pleasurable, your dominant male inclination to try and force Linda to fuck you did not form. You and she were having great sex without the associated risks.

Now with Sharon, your friend's mother, it was probably a little different. From what you told Lorraine and she included in her reports, you and Sharon appeared to have been in sexual synch. If you and she hadn't been interrupted by her husband's and son's returning, she probably would have experienced a bombshell orgasm that would have left her out like a light when they did come home. But the sounds of them returning interrupted you, and you quickly lost interest in anything except getting your pants on. That's why I said there was and is nothing wrong with you at all. Your brain was sending signals to your body, and unlike many men who would have charged forward to orgasm, you simply responded properly to your brain's signals and backed off.

I also believe that your synchronicity 'gift' is attributable to your sexual maturity in advance of your chronological age. You are emotionally more sexually mature than your actual age. That may be in part why you prefer sex with women older than you. A man your age, what 23 or 24, with your gift would usually be out trying to have sex with every young woman in sight. Actually, a lot of men much older than you, if they had your 'gift,' would be trying to sex up every woman in sight as well. You show remarkably good judgment and restraint and discretion, very uncharacteristic but highly desirable. Older women recognize those traits in you as consideration and patience, and they make you much more desirable as a sexual partner. "

"Does my 'gift' that causes my partner to have a long and intense orgasm pose a threat to her health? I mean, I've seen TV ads for Viagra and stuff that says 'Don't use this unless you're healthy enough for sex!'."

"That's an excellent question, Tom, but almost certainly not. In fact, all the evidence Lorraine and Kim and Jamie have assembled may suggest just the opposite. As I said, Lorraine's A-fib has disappeared, and both Kim and Lorraine are seeing signs that their aging is actually reversing. It's too soon to tell if Kim's abnormally rapid growth of her body hair has likewise been slowed.

It would probably take years of controlled study to definitively answer your question, but I'll go out on a limb and speculate that the apparent therapeutic effects of your 'gift' are due primarily to an absence of external clinical and pharmaceutical factors. In other words, Tom, I suspect your 'gift' stimulated Lorraine's and Kim's brains to produce chemical products that do naturally and safely what the pharmaceutical industry would love to be able to do with artificial products they could create and sell. Unfortunately for Big Pharma, their products often produce undesired and unexpected side effects, whereas our brains do not."

"And that's why it's so important for you to meet with Marta Cruz, Tom," Jamie chimed in.

"Jamie's right. Marta understands better than most lawyers just how much both the legitimate and illegal drug industries would give to even know your 'gift' exists. Particularly the unethical and illegal drug industries would package some placebo product or even carelessly harmful product and market it as if it would produce the effects your 'gift' really does. Indiscriminate knowledge of Tom Connors' 'gift' would make your life miserable, Tom, and none of us want that."

"As long as there's no danger to anyone I'm with ... " I said, looking at Jamie now.

"No, none that your 'gift' would cause in the absence of some pre-existing dangerous condition. It's been fascinating watching the videos of both Lorraine and Kim when they cum with you, though."

When Amanda uttered those words, I thought I sensed something other than professional detachment. Then she continued.

"They both consistently experience what are called full-body orgasms. These begin with conventional orgasm responses, but it appears that a few seconds into big-O, their entire body becomes engulfed by the experience. The literally begin to vibrate as if they were being subjected to electrical shock. In addition to the consistently intense orgasms, both reported something else highly unusual: They both feel and remember every second of the entire orgasm. Most people, men included, feel their orgasm's onset and then decline, but little more. They think they feel it all, but they really don't. Both Lorraine and Kim experienced the peak for several seconds, though they both reported that to them it seemed to last much longer. In fact, they both reported feeling as if they were in sexual slow-motion. They also both emphatically stated they didn't want it to end. But as soon as it does end, rather than feeling something pleasurable has stopped, they both drift into intensely satisfying and fulfilled relaxation, not necessarily sleepy, but ultra-relaxed after sex with you. They both did sleep deeply, but they awakened fully refreshed. That in itself is an extremely healthy after-effect of good sex.

Incidentally, Tom, my extensive studies showing men and women experience orgasms differently helps me more precisely define a person's gender when I'm working with patients who question if they're a man in a woman's body or vice versa. An individual's orgasm pattern is almost as unique as his fingerprint when it comes to defining his or her gender. And as I said earlier, Tom, I hope you will allow me to study your unique orgasm response in more detail."

Then, as if she somehow knew about my fantasy, in-the-mirror sex with Jamie, Amanda continued.

"I'm telling you this because according to Lorraine's reports, you expressed some very normal concern over your arousal to pictures of transsexual women. Let me add to the reassurance Lorraine gave you, Tom. You should have no concern about your gender identity. In spite of your rather unique orgasm response, the exact pattern over which you have no control, there is absolutely no doubt that you are a virile young man. That is why Jamie's phallus project is so important. You have a fully intact and functional penis and scrotum and everything associated with them, but a man who has lost his penis or its complete function will begin to doubt his gender when he can no longer experience male sexuality. Jamie's prosthetic phallus project is going to have as much emotional and physical value as other prosthetics have.