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Click here"Mom! Get up! Breakfast is getting cold!" The bedroom door flew open and slammed against the wall of the guest bedroom and I could hear footsteps stomping down the hallway after that.
"I'm up, for Christ's sake," my flannel pajamas were wringing wet from perspiration. Menopause sucks! Karma will follow.
"Where's my dream book?"
***** ***** *****
I am Yours Sinserely,
Babs
Wish I had read it when my vote would have counted on the contest.
It earned a 5
Best to you.
It works for it's target audience, I suppose. I thought it was a bit scattered, and I kept hoping it would coalesce into... something. I know it was a dream. Just a dream, just a dream, and just a dream. At least that's what it was to this naked guy, who could only stare through the glass at the jokes than frolicked on the other side within.
The dreamer's comments were sexy and smart and added a spark.
You set out a tremendous task as a writer with this concept and you pretty much pulled it off. Bravo. It had a dream-like mood to it throughout the entire piece which was incredibly important for the concept. You integrated the cast, and an impressively large cast at that, in a way that achieved your goal yet didn't exclude a regular reader - that was an amazing accomplishment. I think most importantly you had fun which naturally progressed to giving the reader a great time. I also loved the ending which just adds to the craftsmanship. Very impressive Babs, my hat off to you!
I think you created the mood of that kind of dreaming really well and I enjoyed the tour of Literotica through the dreamer's eyes. I've read it a few times now and keep finding another layer. Nice one, Babs.