A Heretic's Heart

That must have served as a purification of my conscience that had to have been troubled by it all because once I stopped crying, I sensed a peace within me. Then again, maybe Paige had something to do with it as she had taken me to our bed and tenderly licked at my pussy, then kissed me so sweetly that I had to sigh, then sigh again.

* * * *

My faith was rapidly disappearing. What would I do at Christmas time? The same as last year, I wondered? Then again, if they didn't accept Paige as my partner, there would be no worry about what to do at Christmas time.

Chapter 8

We were doing well in all of our classes, and what we knew of our final required essays in them, we already had them finished and ready to turn in though it was just time for spring break to begin.

Spring break! A time for us to relax and...what? Have interminable sex? I grinned at the thought, it sounded so good and scrumptious. Paige saw my grin, which opened her up to ask what she had in mind, but in her own inimitable way.

"Jennifer, honey," she began in that little girl tone I knew so well by then that had me wondering what new joy she had thought up for us this time, "do you think we should consider buying a strap-on and associated gadgets?" she asked innocently.

Gadgets indeed. My pussy's lips began to swell at the suggestion of new sex, but then I wondered what all might be involved. My sweet lover was very sneaky, and still very fantasy oriented. However, I had known nothing but joy from whatever she came up with or wanted. I knew it was meant for intercourse as in heterosexual sex, but I also knew that there was more to it. My baby had been thinking of something, and I wondered what it might be, or should I say, why she was thinking of it, whatever it was.

"I hadn't thought of it," I teased her, though it was true that I hadn't. I was perfectly happy with the sex we had, and the variety too.

"I just wondered," she played her part to perfection.

What she meant by 'I just wondered' was that she had already ordered whatever we needed to have intercourse, and it didn't take her long to let me know of it.

"Jennifer, honey, we are just as if we were married, right?"

"You know we are; we both feel that we are," I said knowing more was coming from her little girl tone of voice.

"Then you should have all of me, sexually, that is. At least I think so, and I want to give you all of me because we love each other so much," she included me in on her plan.

"I take it that you mean the same for me in reverse too?"

"Uh-huh, if you want," was her short answer.

"How haven't you given me all of you sexually then?" I innocently played along knowing full well what she was up to.

"Uh, you remember that strap-on thing, and how I can give you my virginity?"

"Yes, but we don't have one of those gadgets."

"Does that mean you'd like to do it if we did have one?"

"Honey, if that's your wish, then we could try it as we have all the others. Everything has been sexy and hot for us so far.

"Yeah," she said, biting her lip a bit, and looking sneaky as she sometimes did. "Uh, if I told you that we have a strap-on and one of those fake penises, would you like to try it now?"

"You little imp. You're the sweetest sneak for all time, and you know I love our sex, so come out with whatever you have for us," I said with a grin.

The glee in her smile and eyes, along with her excitement was something that I loved seeing. She clapped her hands as she turned to where she had stashed what she had bought.

"I went to a sex shop while you had two periods of class and I didn't, and since I'm caught up on everything, I thought it was a good time for getting it."

Naked as we usually were, it didn't take long to strap the harness on, and then she fiddled with one of the dildos with shaking hands and nervous fingers. Once in place she looked at it as I watched her excitement grow. It was more than excitement—my sweet sex-pot was hot as could be, and horny didn't fit her state. I wondered if she was too hyper, but she wasn't worried at all, she was ready. I know for as we kissed, my fingers went between her lovely lips and found them as wet as I knew they'd be.

"Hurry, honey," she said, "I can't wait for you to fuck me."

Speaking as she did, I knew she was more than ready. We weren't real big on coarse language, but sometimes it seemed very appropriate. 'Fuck' was appropriate as far as Paige was concerned just then, and I certainly wasn't going to argue with her about it. I barely had time to put any of the lubricant on the dildo and between her lips, and nearly didn't get to wipe it off my hand.

She cut our kissing off way too soon to suit me, but I let her have her way. She reached down and took the dildo in her hand and positioned it carefully at her entrance.

"Now, my love. Hurry."

I wasn't about to hurry and possibly hurt her. Taking one of those long and sexy nipples of hers in my mouth as I faked trying to enter her, I teased her no end, and did a little more than suck on it.

"Play with your clit, baby," I told her, my own excitement growing exponentially.

"Yes. Yes, I'm doing myself, honey, now you do me too," she went on in her wild state.

It wasn't long before I sensed she was so ready to burst that I bit on her nipple a couple of times, but not too hard. When she yelped a little, I got past whatever resistance was there, and quickly had her in orgasmic ecstasies. Plain and simple she loved being fucked. She felt it all so good that she didn't try to stop me from kissing her as I went in and out of her pussy. She was so hot that she lifted her own legs and held them up until I helped her as I raised myself to my knees to keep them up as she wanted.

Then she went wild as I'd ever seen her, her ass lifted up a bit, and gyrated madly up and down, or alternately swaying as if she were on a hammock being tossed about by a strong wind all the while moaning, groaning and grunting primitively as a morass of orgasms began. Joining her often, I had quite a few myself as I was loving looking at her body and even seeing the fake penis going in and out of her pussy. She was making me hot to keep on fucking her.

Like seeing her when we tribbed ala scissors style, I though that seeing me as if plundering her sex, was a trip that was unbelievable. I'd never imagined anything like that, and there was nothing in her books about how erotically sweet and decadent looking at her like that would, or could be.

She took a lot, and for longer than I expected, though truthfully, I hadn't any idea of how long she might last; it was just a thought out of nowhere, but when she'd had it, or her body had had it, she was gasping for breath and speaking as if apologizing that she couldn't go on any longer. She wasn't the only one that couldn't go on. It had been quite a work out, but I loved it as she did. For me, it was seeing her more than any orgasms I had, but they were a nice compliment to my overly excited, and obviously hyper voyeur loving eyes. She had made a pervert out of me, and I was sure she'd love it when I told her of it.

"I wanted more, but my body gave out, and my breath couldn't keep up," she huffed out the words.

"Me too," I said with just as difficult a time in saying anything.

We were pretty sweaty, so when we were able to breathe properly, we took a shower. Even after all the sex and orgasms that we'd had, I couldn't get the picture of seeing her pussy as I had out of my mind, and it made me horny as could be, and I had to have her. Going down on my knees, she welcomed me and gave me as much access as she could and had a sweet as could be orgasm that I wish had waited, but my knees were grateful.

Dry, and back in bed, she was in my arms and kissing my breast and suckling my nipple and making those thoughts of seeing my fake penis penetrating her lovely and sexy pussy, and making me hot as could be. It was then that I had to tell her what I thought, what I felt.

"You're kidding, right?" she asked as she howled lustily.

"No I'm not, and you suckling on my nipple brought it all back just like it was in the shower. Shower sex like that is nice as we both know, but it's hard on the knees, yet I hated to give you up because of that picture of you still in my mind."

She kept on with her gut-splitting laughter, and I somewhat joined her. She has laughed so much that I knew she'd be sore in the morning.

* * * *

I was right. In the morning, her ribs were hurting from laughing too much. That didn't keep her from wanting more sex though, and so did I. We spent just about the whole week in bed making love, cuddling, and touching and kissing each other's body. It seemed that we were obsessed with each other sexually, as well as otherwise. Her person was more than attractive, her ways of getting what she wanted a literal joy to me, but combined with that gorgeous body of her, her fragile looking porcelain skin, her breasts and sexy nipples, and everything else about her had me unable to leave her alone, and it was what she wanted of me.

We more than favored tribbing in the scissors position, and fucking each other. Yes, she took my virginity too, and it had the same effect on her.

"Geez, Jennifer, it was so hot seeing the dildo go in and out of your pussy. I mean, I kept getting these debilitating surges and I wanted to fuck you as hard and fast as I could. Did I hurt you?"

"No, you just drove me nuts and had me where I didn't want to leave or stop having all of those sweet sensations."

"Just like me, huh?"

"Yeah, just like you. We are going to kill each other with our love, baby."

"Where you go, I'll go, honey," she said, stirring up my mind to Christmas time and my family.

It was the same with me though I loved my family mightily; it was just that my love of Paige was greater. I wouldn't go without her. Never again!

We were getting pretty good at giving each other our toes when we tribbed in the scissors position. That did get to be an obsession with us, though we still worked our fannies off in reaching them. The voyeuristic aspects were getting to us too, and their opposite to for I know I felt an excitement at feeding her visually. Seeing her eyes glaze over as she looked at me was a real turn-on. There was so much to our sex that it amazed me.

Then the free-for-all of sex had to end. Before going back to classes, we had to do some grocery shopping lest we starve and our sexual times with each other end.

* * * *

When we did return to class, we were somewhat fortunate to meet with Ms. Connor alone again.

"Did you two enjoy your break?" she asked very innocently.

Immediately we both blushed to the high heavens, looked at each other, neither of us able to say a word.

"Oh, crap. Sorry I asked. Uh, bullshit, I'm not sorry," she said breaking out in a wide as can be grin. "Okay, sorry I embarrassed you.

"That's okay," I finally got out, still looking a little sheepishly.

"So, did you two take any time to think on anything about the class so far?"

"We did," Paige said. "I think maybe more Jennifer that me. She's seeing what she was taught in church in a different way since another class, and this one is opening our eyes even more—well, as I said, Jennifer's mostly."

She had a scowl on her face. "Yeah, that damned religious bullshit is something else."

When we were alone with her, she often let loose not only with her ideas, but with her language also. We were glad that she let her hair down when talking to us for she had much to say, and this particular time was no exception.

"That crap about 'immutability' is just that as far as we can scientifically determine. It seems like we're more as Lynn Margulis made popular: many cells were individual bacteria that came together in what is called 'endosymbiosis theory', that is, that cells learned to live in symbiotic relationship with each other—everyone benefitting when together. More, another wag is reported to have said that were his skin removed, we'd see a bunch of separate parts that learned to live together to make us up. Science of all kinds is opening up so much about us, and it isn't that biblical crap."

"That's what I want to learn about," I said. "So much that the bible says just doesn't seem true now that I think of it, like the Exodus."

She sniggered. "Yeah, Heston had convinced us that it really happened, huh?" she said referring to the movie supposedly about Moses and the Exodus that was shown each year on television. "Millions of people dying in that small wilderness, desert, a part of it I think they say, and no bones have ever been found. It's easy to see how they got by with that story with all of the illiterate people and little modern knowledge such as we have, and the bastards did a hell of a job putting it so deep in our culture that many of us still believe it, and worse, they still preach it as if they were back in the Dark Ages."

One of the things that came out of that conversation was that sperm has nothing in it but DNA and no hair, eyes, heart, or brain, just some mitochondria to power them to swim to hopefully find an egg to implant their portion of DNA, and that mitochondria was destroyed by the female's vagina. The woman provided everything else. That made me think a lot later on about that story of the making of Eve. All was supposed to have come from Adam when God made Eve, but all modern Adams brought little to the table of making life other than their DNA. Something was very wrong. We laughed when she said that the sperm often went in wildly different directions in their blind seeking of an egg.

Another thing we learned from her is that we have about a hundred billion neurons (cells) in our brain. That made my head spin; I couldn't imagine that many neurons in my brain, they had to be so tiny.

Between genes randomly being put together, or morphing, or mutating, and even 'traveling', immutability was hard to believe in. Then there was the question of whether any god such as is in the bible make us to do all of this in such a helter-skelter way, giving some things like Down's Syndrome, or developing sickle cell anemia by some, and not others.

Then there was the little matter of all the bacteria in our bodies, so much of it that it far outnumbered our own body's cells by close to nine of ten to one. Did all of this get inherited from the bacteria that was from Adam's body when god was supposed to have created him out of the dust? That didn't seem possible. Looking at it logically, we were all foreign bacteria if god made us out of the dust of the earth. God would have had to activate foreign bacteria into us therefore meaning that we had no natural cells. It was too mind boggling, too incredible.

"Look, I wouldn't say this in a regular class, but from what I can gather, the Old Testament was created for the most part by those intelligent ones that were taken captive to Babylon. Part of this I got from someone figuring that those left behind in Judah were illiterate peasants who were later read the scripture as put together by the educated ones in captivity. Many of the Jews are a very intelligent people, there's no denying that.

"However, from what I understand, we can read between the lines in the books of Ezra, then especially in Nehemiah and see where the Old Testament was first made known to those who had been left behind. It was all made up, some books maybe earlier, maybe all of the ones already made were edited, but most originated from Babylon. If you're studying it all, check that out and see if what I've been given to understand is right."

The upshot of what she said about the bible was that I had already read some of it in the books I'd bought. Ezra and Nehemiah, though, were now on my list of books to check out.

As well I had already checked out the wars of the Maccabees. They, along with the book of Daniel, were instructive to me insofar as the resurrection went. It looked as if the resurrection didn't come into play for sure until the time of the writing of the book of Daniel, and was pushed by the Pharisees. That was a hard one to swallow, but it was all making sense to me, and I knew I was on the right track. The big thing was that I would never be able to tell my parents about what all I had learned.

"That's a lot you picked up from Ms. Conner, honey," Paige said.

"Yeah; it'll give me something to do when we're not studying or making love."

"You have time after that?" she asked with a grin.

I grinned too, and hugged her delicate and luscious body to mine. "Not much, huh?"

"No, not much, but enough, I hope. I can't give up too much more of your time though. I need to have us making love to each other more, I think."

I thought so too.

Chapter 9

Whether she was trying to impress Paige, or was just feeling very free and wanting to help me with my dilemma, Ms. Connor kept feeding me information that's not usually known by most. She expounded on the apparent value of sequences being repeated, and those stop and start signals that some had for activating and deactivating genes, and more on new genes being able to be grown by us as we age, and paralleling that, neurons have been known to forge new pathways to make new 'habits' as she called them.

Not much time remaining, and our papers being finished, we coasted in our classes save in Ms. Connor's class, and that because Paige was interested in pursuing it as her major. For myself, I continued on in my liberal arts path. When the semester was over, it was time for me to work for the summer. I had a job lined up, and Paige decided to take more classes during the summer when she couldn't get me to skip work altogether.

Time flew by, and our active love life helped in that respect, we made love just about every spare moment we had; neither of us could get enough of the other. Paige informed me that she also had those delicious pictures of my pussy in her mind too. That was too much a tease for us and we were constantly reprising and refreshing those erotic pictures of each other in our minds. We still favored tribbing in the scissors position and fucking each other so we could see each other's pussy. The highs those gave us were amazing. More, they never got old for us.

Paige's body, to me, was so sexually inviting, and from head to foot. She claimed the same about my body, but I never could find anything special about my body, but did understand the pull my pussy could have had for her. No, Paige was very special in the rare eroticism she projected.

* * * *

We were doing more than well in our classes again, but I had started thinking of telling my parents about Paige. The holidays would be upon us before we knew it, and I couldn't put it off any longer. I called home, and had my mother to have Father pick up an extension—I wanted them both to hear it. As I expected, my news was greeted with silent disbelief.

"I'm sorry, dear, but did you..." my mother couldn't go on.

"Yes, Mother, it's true. I'm in love with Paige, and we're living together. She's a sweet girl, and smart, doing as well, if not better, in her classes than I am. If all keeps going with us as it has been, we're looking forward to being married when we're of legal age."

"This is all so sudden. Will you be wanting to come home for the holidays as you usually do?" she asked, meaning did I want to have Paige with me then too.

"I don't want to put any sudden pressure on you, so that's why I called instead of springing this on you at the last minute," I admitted.

"So you will be wanting to have her come with you," she said, the question more than implied.

"Last year she was alone. I love her too much to have her alone while I'm visiting my family," I said intentionally leaving it open.

"Oh, dear. I don't know what to say. You know that we believe that love like that is a sin against God."