A Joke - Another Version

Tears were streaming down her face now as she began to realize the enormity of the hurt she had caused me and what I had just said about our future or total lack of. I had never sworn or raised my voice at her before.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. It was just a joke. We didn't do anything. I love you so much. It was nothing."

"You lying fucking bitch; I know what I heard and I never want to hear any bullshit again about it being a joke. As far as I'm concerned you fucked him and that's all that counts. You committed adultery and deliberately cuckolded me. I'm scared to think how long you two have been planning to destroy me like this or even how many times you have fucked him before; maybe even two weeks ago. I fucking hate you for helping him set me up. It's bad enough that you fucked him but how could you fuck him knowing I could hear you while I was handcuffed right below you? Fuck you! You can go to hell! I heard every grunt and every fucking moan you made! That wasn't nothing I heard! You can expect to hear from my lawyers in a few days. We're fucking through. Both of you can fuck yourselves stupid as far as I am concerned!" I shouted as I turned and headed up the stairs.

"No Jim! Please, nothing happened! Nothing happened Jim; please stop! We've never fucked!" she wailed at me from the basement floor. "Jim, we didn't do anything Jim! We only pretended. Please stop! Jim please!" She screamed, "Jim, I love you! Please stop!" It was her turn to plead. I was so angry; so hurt and I didn't believe her after what I had heard.

I didn't respond as I headed out the front door leaving a trail of blood through the house and down the path as I left. Just as I was approaching the footpath a very mad Alice swung into their driveway.

"Where the hell is that shit-for-brains husband of mine? There was no accident and I wasn't needed at the ER." she ranted as she got out of the car. Suddenly she noticed my wrists and the trail of blood leading back to the house.

"Jim! What happened to you? Oh god, look at your wrists. Let me get them bandaged for you."

"Roger and Flo; in there, Alice. This time they went too far and I'm divorcing Flo."

"Good god Jim, what did they do to you? Jim, wait! Let me help you please?"

"You can hear it from Flo and Roger. I can't stay in your house any longer and I'll never step back in there again after what they did to me. Alice, they cuckolded me. I'm going home and I'll do my own bandaging when I get there. You can tell my ex-wife she'll find her clothes and things on the front porch tomorrow. If she wants to get in our house again she'd better have a court order. You make sure she stays completely away from me."

"Oh god, what's been happening here? What did they do?" A shocked and distraught Alice cried out as she hurried into the house trying to avoid the blood.

Still seething inside, I headed home. As I walked I still felt blood flowing down my hands from the deep cuts in my wrists and dripping onto the ground. I had hurt myself much worse than I had thought. My hatred for what they had done and the complete disregard they had shown to me was burning me up inside. I had some ideas on what I needed to do. I wanted serious pay-back; I wanted them to hurt and I wanted a divorce for her cuckolding me.

Upon arriving home I grabbed my digital camera and using the timer carefully took several photos of my wrists making sure the wounds looked reasonably severe. Maybe they were severe as they still were dripping blood. My blood was everywhere on the floor as I locked up, bolting the doors from the inside and leaving through the garage knowing Flo didn't have a remote control to open the door. In case I ended up divorcing her, I wanted some official medical record of my injuries trying to free myself so I was going to the hospital to get my wounds dressed.

When I reached the hospital, blood was still oozing from my wrists and my arms and clothes looked a mess; certainly much worse than they may have been. But it was ten out of ten for appearances. I recognised the nurse at reception from church at the same time she recognized me and I approached her staggering the last few yards. My bloodied arms landed across the reception desk leaving another bloody mess for someone to clean up. I would have plenty to clean up when I got home; or maybe I should leave it for Flo if I took her back; that sounded fair to me. She looked down at my arms and the blood everywhere then screamed for assistance. As she helped me into a wheelchair she asked what happened. I looked up at her forlornly and told her she would have to ask Flo. I knew that the whole congregation at church would know I was in hospital from something Flo had done by the end of Mass tomorrow. They would all be asking Flo what happened when they saw her; I knew Flo never missed Sunday Mass. I hoped she'd somehow get there tomorrow; it was only a short walk. I got a strange look when I told her she wasn't to phone Flo to tell her I was there. She saw the seriousness in my expression and looked shocked but agreed.

They cleaned my wounds and I ended up with stitches; I hadn't expected that but the cuts and lacerations were very deep. I wanted to go home but they insisted I stay overnight under observation as they were not sure how much blood I had lost. A couple of nurses helped wash me down and get me into a hospital gown as my hands were next to useless due to the heavy bandaging and I would have them re-bandage me in the morning so I could drive home. Having a piss with a strange woman holding my cock in a bottle was a new experience.

I was resting thinking over the night's events and wondering if I had overreacted if it had really been a grubby practical joke but I knew what I had heard; it sounded so real to me. I was still bloody angry with them when a policeman entered my room. He introduced himself as Sgt James Bell and said the hospital had called him regarding my injuries and he was here to follow it up. I told him I wasn't sure if there had been a crime as such committed but he asked for my story anyway. He sat and listened as he jotted down in his notebook what I said. I was sure he would have been secretly recording it anyway.

When I had finished he looked at me and told me that on the face of it, changes could be laid for the use of the handcuffs if I chose to file a complaint. I told him I was unsure and he seemed ok with that but then he asked if I minded if he contacted me soon regarding my decision. This was turning out better than I could ever have expected.

I had a very restless night. When I was awake I kept thinking about how they had cuckolded me and what I had heard. How could my best friend and my life partner do that to me? It was just as bad when I slept as I had nightmares about Roger fucking Flo in front of me as I bled to death while I was still handcuffed to the pipe. I woke at dawn and told the nurses if they didn't release me I was leaving anyway and by the time they had re-dressed my wounds it was the end of the night shift as I left. I saw Alice arriving for work and it was obvious she hadn't slept either as she looked like shit.

Alice obviously wasn't expecting to see me and by the time she recognised me too late I was past her. Her jaw dropped when she saw the extensive bandaging on my wrists and all the blood covering my clothes. I had a few seconds as the enormity of my injuries sunk into her so I ducked behind an ambulance and was gone from sight before she could catch up to me. I watched her make three phone calls before looking around again then heading inside for her shift. Any guesses who she phoned? I was sure I was one but my phone was turned off. I couldn't have timed my exit any better if I had planned it.

When I got home I was still angry and I methodically began to bag Flo's cloths, makeup and other personal items in plastic yard bags and put it out on the front porch. The house phone was ringing non-stop as I worked but I refused to answer it or even to check caller ID. I remembered I had turned off my cell phone last night and switched it back on. I had over 50 messages waiting for me. Some were advising me I had missed calls, but most were messages left from Flo, Alice and Roger but mainly Flo.

I still loved Flo so much and wanted to hear her voice again so I played one of her messages. She was crying and telling me she loved me so much and that nothing had happened. She would do anything for me to forgive her. She added that she was too scared to come home and she was worried about me. Then I listened to the most recent messages she had left after I was sure Alice had phoned her. Flo sounded hysterical asking how I was and saying that Alice had seen me leaving the hospital with my wrists heavily bandaged and my clothes bloodied. I deleted them all. I still loved her so much it hurt and I was trying so hard to believe her. I wanted to trust her but what I heard sounded so very real to me. It was all still very painful and I was suffering so badly.

The next thing I did was to go and look up the number for a locksmith to have the locks changed on the house. I realized that if I left to go to work or the lawyers on Monday and Flo returned to the house and changed the locks I'd be out in the cold so I made arrangements to have the locks changed as soon as he could. I knew it would cost more on a Sunday but I didn't care. My demons were thinking for me again.

It had taken me a good part of the morning to pack all of Flo's possessions up in bags and I didn't stop until the locksmith arrived and changed the locks for me. I looked over at my neighbour's house from time to time and was sure I could see someone at the window watching. I found I was still angry after the locksmith left and I was placing the last bag of Flo's next to the porch when a police car pulled up to the kerb. The Sergeant from last night alighted and walked to me. As we spoke I noticed Roger arriving home and watching from his driveway. I initially pretended not to see him but I noticed his jaw dropped when he realized I was now talking with the police and pointing to his house. Then I pointed at Roger as we both looked at him; the look on his face was priceless. I asked the sergeant to follow me in as I offered him a coffee while we discussed if I wanted to file a complaint.

We spoke at length about the incident the previous night and my love for my wife as we drank our coffee. He told me he had let his wife go after an incident a while ago and how he missed her so much. I really felt for him as he told me of his lose and his never ending loneliness. He saw her from time to time and was trying to rebuild their relationship. He asked what I was going to do now and I told him how much I was hurting about being cuckolded either for real or in my mind. I told him of my love for my life partner, the woman I had never wanted to lose. Then I told him of my pain.

He looked at me then smiled then asked if I wanted some payback if it had really just been a joke. He went on to say he would be happy to visit them and get their statements (unofficially of course unless I filed a complaint) making them believe there could be some serious jail time involved as they had "unlawfully detained" me. It sounded good to me so I agreed and we laughed for the first time. I confirmed Roger and Alice's address as he wrote it down and gave him Mary's address in case Flo had already gone there. He told me he would even record their responses and discomfort during his interviews with them and their realization that they had gone too far and could end up in prison. I downloaded the photos of my bleeding wrists and gave him copies to add some weight to his "investigation" with them.

After seeing the good sergeant off I noticed Roger's truck was gone again and as soon as I shut the door the phone rang again. I noticed the caller ID said it was Alice's cell phone so I picked up the receiver and greeted her suspecting it would be something to do with the policeman at my house and Roger seeing him speaking with me.

It was Alice and she sounded worried. She commenced telling me she had Roger with her at work and he was as white as a ghost from seeing me with the police. I thought he would have sped there when I realized he was gone. She asked why I didn't stop and talk with her earlier when she saw me then went on to tell me she had phoned Flo after she had seen me heavily bandaged leaving the hospital. She said that Flo wouldn't talk to Roger again and things had been very difficult all night. They had wanted to come over last night after Flo had told her what they had done and talk about it but saw my lights were out and they thought I was asleep. Alice continued and told me that since then, Flo had phoned her to tell her that she had been told at church by everyone she spoke to that I had been admitted to hospital overnight and she was frantic. When Alice had seen me leaving the hospital they had just assumed I had gone there for a tetanus shot. She added that Flo had walked to church and had hoped to meet up with me and have our priest help settle our problem, but I wasn't there for the first time in many years and everyone was asking her embarrassing questions. She felt so alone and so humiliated not knowing anything and being told where I had spent the night. She was worried what sort of wife they all thought she was as they wondered what she had done. Even our priest knew of my hospital stay and had tried to phone me without success. Flo thought I had just gone home and gone to bed after I dressed my wounds myself.

If by chance it was just a joke, I wanted to let Alice in on what was happening because she had no part in it, but I couldn't be sure she wouldn't say something and I still wanted Roger and Flo to feel some pain as well. I told Alice that I hadn't called the police. The hospital had phoned them due to the nature of my injuries and now they were interested in Roger and Flo for detaining me illegally and they should expect the police around to get statements from the three of them. I explained then that the police would then decide if charges would be laid.

There was silence for a minute but I could hear her whispering to Roger what I had just told her. I heard him cry out then Alice spoke again asking if I could stop the police following it up. I told her that I hadn't filed any complaint yet but the police had my statement and a report from the hospital and that might be enough for them to continue. I didn't want to hurt Alice and I was worried she could end up being collateral damage if I wasn't careful. I knew then I would have to tell her and asked her to call in to see me either that night on her way home or tomorrow after I got back from my lawyers but make sure shithead wasn't with her. She asked if I was really serious about seeing my lawyers and I told her I was. She then asked how I was and if I needed anything and I thanked her and told her changing the bandages was challenging and I was in a lot of pain but I was hurting more from their actions. I knew she would pass that on to Flo and Roger and make them feel worse.

Alice went on to tell me she trusted them and believed that it had just been another joke gone too far. She asked about my plans and pleaded for me to at least speak with Flo before she had a breakdown. I told her I wasn't ready to get even close enough to speak with either Flo or Roger and if either came near me I would leave town and disappear from their lives forever. My demons were ruling my life and making me forget how much I loved my wife. All I wanted to do was hurt the people who caused me pain. Alice didn't call in that night.

After the call, I got in my car and headed to the local supermarket where I picked up a selection of frozen dinners to carry me for a week or so, then went back to my lonely house. I really missed Flo so much after almost 24 years together, but I couldn't get over my anger at her and what she and Roger had done to me. When I finished for the day I locked up, undressed and lay on the bed. Even though I was emotionally and physically tired I couldn't get to sleep for a long time.

When I awoke in the morning the phone was ringing again but I refused to acknowledge it. I got up, showered and had breakfast then replaced my wrist bandages as best I could then rang my boss and told him I had injured my wrists and needed the week off. After he finally agreed, I left to speak with my lawyers and start to extract more revenge. I knew within hours of my visit there, that Flo would have heard that I had been, as a close friend of her sisters worked as a receptionist there so I was forced to proceed the way I did.

About three o'clock the doorbell rang and I looked out to see Alice standing at the door in her nurse's uniform with a bag of bandages in her hand and after opening the door, I motioned her inside.

"Well, they really did it this time, didn't they?" she said as she entered.

"I'm afraid so."

"What are you going to do? Are you still going ahead with what you said?" she asked as she led me to the kitchen table and removed my bandages.

Deep down I knew it was just my anger still talking for me. My mind was telling me I loved Flo but my demons were still in charge. "Just like I told her; I'm divorcing her," I answered as I winced in pain as she accidently brushed against the stitches.

"But they say nothing happened, it was just one of their jokes, be it a very tasteless one. Flo desperately wants to talk with you," she responded as she commenced redressing my wounds. Her touch was so gentle.

"Alice, I heard them doing it and as far as I'm concerned that's reality. I have already spoken to my lawyers and they agree. I went earlier today and they are preparing the papers," I calmly told her.

"You're still really angry aren't you? Can't you wait until you cool down before you do anything so drastic? You have almost 24 years invested in one another. Do you want to give that up without trying to make an attempt to salvage something?"

"I won't be cuckolded! I told Flo that many times and she did it to me in the worst way possible and now it could be all over." I didn't tell her that my lawyer had been instructed not to serve her but to wait for further instructions.

"But, they claim nothing happened. They just made noises as though it did happen."

"I can't be certain it didn't happen, Alice. They are expecting us to take their word for it as any lovers would. Everything was in place so that it could happen and they have no way of proving it didn't. So, I have to go with my perception that it did. In any case, she totally disrespected me as well as our marriage vows, Alice."

"Can't you let it ride and go to counselling? Flo is a basket case over this," she queried as she finished with the bandages.

"No, I wasn't the one that did wrong! I warned her the last time about doing this kind of thing and she didn't listen. I'm even wondering if they fucked the night they played their necking joke on us; they were gone far too long. I'm done talking! It could be that we just let the lawyers work it out. If you're happy with Roger's part in this then you can go on living with him. Just tell Shithead he'd better make sure he stays a long way from me in the future."

"I haven't entirely decided what to do about Roger yet Jim, but I really hate to see you guys break up over this. Roger is very contrite about the whole thing and wants me to give you his sincere apology. You know he is really concerned about the police being involved now? We all are. More than you know."

"Alice, he can shove his apology up his ass! It is not worth shit as far as I am concerned! Not after what he did to me. Alice, I was supposed to be his friend! You make sure you tell him that too please. Make sure he understands our friendship is over, it's finished! In any case he has been deliberately hurting me with Flo's support for ages now. As much as I'd like to stay friends with you, I think it would be better we limit our contact until we are through this, one way or the other."