A Letter from Dear John

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Karma is a bitch.
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PTBzzzz
PTBzzzz
594 Followers

In a letter delivered by private courier:

Dear Love Of My Life,

That was sarcasm, in case you failed to recognize it.

I won't go into how I got out of the hospital a few months ago, no one needs to know. Sorry I missed the man waiting outside my room; he had to pee sometime. I understand he stayed there for another 36 hours before someone told him I was gone.

I saw the photographic evidence revealing my affair with your best friend. I must say it is rather convincing. But then again I noticed some things that lead me to believe you should have looked at the photos more closely. I will say more about that toward the end of the letter.

First I need to address what I saw when I got home that day. I understand you lived with my former friend Skip for a while after I was put in the hospital. This is fine with me. After seeing your fat ass bouncing on his needle dick I would never sleep in the same house as you. There is no need to mention that the same bed is way out of the question.

After the way he beat the hell out of me I will never forgive you. You sat there, you did nothing, you did not say to stop, and you even smiled. Did you notice I did nothing to fight back or defend myself? The video is very clear on that matter.

You did not know about the video? Sorry, when you started to call his name in your sleep I installed a micro camera in the bedroom. You would be amazed at how sharp the video is. I can count the hickeys he left all over your tits. You would be amazed how much you can get on three 16 MB flash cards.

You thought you could get by with your actions. I noticed the 14 times you had to change the bedding because it was filthy after your love making sessions. I have saved my shirts that he used to wipe his tiny penis clean; he should have folded them like they were. I might have missed them then. I have video of you going into his house, and video of you fucking on the back porch, in the side yard and down by the lake while his father was sleeping in the wheel chair. That one was over a year ago; wasn't it? His dad died 3 days later. I checked the tombstone to be sure.

I have it on good authority that the husband of Skip's girlfriend was the one who had him killed. The exploding gas tank on his motorcycle was a work of art. I was in a private room without access to phone or other people when it happened. I first read about it in the paper; I almost cried. (Snort, LOL)

You did not know about his girlfriend? Actually he had 4 of them; not including you. His main one is a professional photo retoucher. Another is a nurse, one is a homemaker and the last works at the grocery store. 3 are married; one was divorced to be with him. Now you might have guessed how the photos looked so much like me. Yes, I know he gave them to you. He only wanted to ruin our lives, he was jealous of how close we were.

I promised I would tell you of the mistakes. Neither of them knew that I have an uncut penis; the dick in the photos has no foreskin. The man in the photo is much thinner than me. The picture penis has no hair around it; you can attest to the fact that I never shaved or waxed mine. Look at the photo of my back, there is no hair there either. You remember the hair on my back? You called me your fuzzy teddy bear. The final item I noticed is that there are no scars on my back in the photo. How many times did they cut my back open to repair it: was it four?

So, for the last 2 years you have been having revenge sex for acts I never committed. I hope that will make you feel so much better in your old age.

Now I need to point out a few things that are lacking in your attempts at lovemaking.

To give a blow job you need to do more than put him in your mouth. You need to move your head or your hands and stimulate him. I know you can move your hands, I watched you masturbate many times. You had to move your hand to get off; didn't you? ...works like that for a guy too.

As fat as you are it is difficult to get your legs spread far enough to put it in you. Did you wonder why he tied your legs open most times in bed? Heaven help him if one of the ropes broke. I can see the headlines; Man dies of broken neck and suffocation while eating out his whore. Do not be offended that is what you are. I will explain that one later too.

Despite all your shortcomings, I still loved you until you took up with him. I guess I always will a little. The time you shit the bed in orgasm was a bit crude. You had those problems with incontinence; didn't you? I promised to stay with you forever and would have if you had been faithful; no matter how sad the existence was. Who is going to be with you now?

I have moved on from you at this point. If you look around the house you will notice my clothes are gone; what you now see came from the thrift store. They are the filthiest, nastiest clothes I could find; they are not even fit for use as rags. My tools are all gone too. Since I paid for all the cars they will be gone by the time you have gotten to this point; look in the drive. They are all in my name anyway.

At this point you need to go out on the porch and speak to the nice man. He has the divorce documents and a restraining order to remove you from the house so I can get your mess cleaned up and sell it.

You put it so well 35 years ago when we got married, "If you ever step out on me you might as well keep on going."

Do you remember that I responded "...and the same goes for you."

All of the credit cards that you opened with my name as a co-signer are now closed. They as well as the Home Depot and Lowes cards that I used to work on the house will be paid off before we split whatever is left from the sale of the house.

I am sorry that you chose to believe that piece of shit instead of asking me about the photos. I spotted the problems on my first look through; I never looked at them after the one time. I know you never told me about them, I found them. I have copies.

I recently met a younger lady about the age of our son. She has helped me with the anger issues over your actions. She has also proven to me that the impotence problem was you, not me. I think I love her now. I know she loves me; she has for over 15 years. I just found out. If you had put half of the effort into making love to me that you did with the asshole we would have had a fantastic love life.

Now comes the hard part. Do you remember the 4 men he invited to have sex with you? They paid him for the pleasure. None of the other girls would do a threesome and most of them made him wear condoms. The third one you shared died of Aids last week.

Forget the comment about being happier in your old age; you might not make it that far.

Forgive me if I do not miss your cheating, fat, hopeless ass.

Someone told me that true love never dies, but it can sure be beaten almost to death.

Your soon to be ex husband,

John

PS

Only contact me if there is important news about one of the children.

I sent this to all the people on your email list, you never changed your password.

PTBzzzz
PTBzzzz
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  • COMMENTS
17 Comments
Huedogg2Huedogg2over 2 years ago

would have been better if just let her stupid ass die

Schwanze1Schwanze1over 5 years ago
Yeah

I have to agree. Funny.

oldbearswitcholdbearswitchabout 6 years ago
LOL over the top

Funny despite that fact.

RhomanovRhomanovalmost 9 years ago
*****

Seriously classic.

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