A Letter To Sir

I come to the room, seeing Him sitting in His chair, her at His feet. My eyes look at Him. My body trembles, as this is a big step for me to take. I touch the collar that is around my neck, put there by Him, to remind me of my submission. The cuffs and ankle cuffs around my wrists and ankle match the collar I wear. The smell of sweet, soft leather, that is always with me. My body covered in a shear black, slave type dress; that would show my bare ass and pussy as I walk or crawl.

Looking at the T/two of T/them, I know I have made the right decision. Slowly I walk to T/them. My handshakes for now fear is running threw me. Am I ready for this? Can I do this? I kneel before Him, taking His hand, bringing it to my lips kissing the palm. I hold it to my cheek, to feel His warmth and His strength. I remove my hand from His. Taking her hands I lean to her kiss her cheek. She knows something is on my mind, she senses me, as does He.

As I look back and forth between the T/two of T/them, a tear slowly falls from my eye. He looks down at me, and wipes the tear from my eye. Her concern is peaking, yet she waits to speak.

"What is on your mind?" He looks directly into my eyes. I can not help but to shiver. I reach behind me in to the belt on my smock. Holding an envelope in my hand.

"Here, Sir, please read this." my voice quivering as I speak. I hold the envelope up to Him. He takes it looking at it in wonder. Opening it slowly, pulling out the many pages.

It reads:

Dear Sir:

I have sat back in wonder and in amazement of You; for I submitted to You. I watch how You are with us both. I will never be able to thank Y/you B/both enough for bringing me into this. Through the B/both of Y/you, I have found the strength and the heart to write again. It may only be in this letter to You, Sir, but, none the less, I am writing for the first time for me, not for someone else.

You, Sir have let me in to help you, to help her, to help myself. As the D's lifestyle is always truly about learning it never ends. But, relationships do.

I love her. Yet, I can not love You. As, You will not let me. I hold back my love for You. For fear of rejection, fear that You do not really see me as who I am. I give You my submission, my trust, my loyalty, my friendship. You take it all, and give me much. All, but Your love, yet I need to be loved. Not just cared about and not just safe. I understand my being switch has caused You great stress. That You know it and understand it yet can not completely deal with it. I am sure it has now cost me dearly.

I watch You with her. You amaze me how You reach her, how You touch her. I don't believe Y/you T/two brought me into this to be a learning post. But, I feel I have become one. I am but a voice and a body that is used to teach that is used to learn on. But, I do have needs as well. Between B/both of Y/you, Y/you try to reach them all. But, she can not love me the way I need to be loved. Only, my Dom can do that. As, much as He cares for me; He, Sir as in You, does not love me. She is everything to You. I don't blame You and I don't blame her. As, I myself love her like no other. She is a wonderful person, friend and submissive, truly a sister. But, she fills Your heart. She is Your heart. There is no room for me in it.

I do not hate You, Sir nor do I hate her. I see the love between the T/two of Y/you. It is beautiful and it is wonderful. But to be three, A/all must love, feel love and be loved. When one is left out they become the third wheel. I know I am the third wheel. That pains me to say it, but the truth is the truth.

I have asked You to reach out to me, to let me in. Your hand comes out so far, then I am left empty. But, some how I still know You care. That is what kept me here for so long. The hope, the hope Sir, You could reach me and love me. But, some things are not meant to be. I have to stand up. I have to move out of the ways so that the journey that began, for Y/you T/two will move and grow as a relationship does. My being here will do nothing but stunt it. As, precious time would keep revolving around my needs. Not letting the relationship continue, as You wish it to Sir.

Please, do not hate me, Sir. Please, help her not to hate me. I will never let her leave my heart, as she is, has she always has been apart of me. I hope, Sir I have touched You in ways too, good and wonderful ways. As, Your knowledge, Your humor, and many things of You go with me.

I hope and wish that Y/you B/both would think of me fondly from time to time. As I will always think of Y/you.

Good bye A girl

I watched His face, His eyes, as He read the letter. I saw hurt, but yet I saw pride in His eyes. He folded it and looked at me. His head tilted down ward. I think, for the first time, I knew that I was something to Him. I looked up to Him, knowing, knowing that I had touched Him some way somehow. I knew, more than ever I was making the right choice, for U/us A/all. I looked at her; yet she did not have a clue.

More tears trickled down my cheeks as I looked at her. For I was going to miss someone very special to me. I brought my leg forward, bending it at the knee removing the cuff around my ankle. Placing it on the floor. As she watched, tears started to come from her eyes. Yet she did not question. I removed the other ankle cuff. Then, started to take of the wrist cuffs, placing then on the floor as well. Her tears have now become cries. My hands came up to my neck as I undid my reminder of my submission. I held it in my hand shaking as I looked at it. Knowing that by removing it I would never be apart of His heart. That hurt me, so much I cried. I sobbed like a child. I picked up all the leather pieces and held them out to Him. My body trembling, I heaved from the tears. He moved His hand outward and I placed them in His hand. Bending His fingers around them, letting Him hold the bindings that bound me to Him. They were nothing more than symbols. As, I realized, He did have my heart, but could not accept it. I leaned and kissed this hand, which taught me and guided me. As, I got up on my feet; I bend down and kiss the top of her head. I smiled down at her.

"Love, Him for Him, love Him always. As this Dom, your Dom, dear one, loves you like no one else. No one but you belongs in His heart." My words slurred as I cried.

"Sir, may I kiss Your cheek one more time?" My words almost not understandable, as I cried so hard. He nodded His head. I bent and kiss His cheek. "Good bye."

I walked away from the T/two of them, knowing I hurt like hell, but knowing I had done the right thing for U/us A/all.