A Lifetime in One Moment

I devoured her. I lapped and pulled and tickled and suckled her clitoris until I could hear the pleasure escape from her.

"Oh, Kevin," she repeated several times. I petted her wet, wispy red-blonde pubic hair and massaged her pubic mound with my hands, and then I spread her open, unsheathing her hard, pinkish-white nub. I sucked it into my mouth through pursed lips and kneaded it with my tongue.

"Oh good lord, I'm coming," Laura gasped. Her thighs shivered. A foot slipped of the ledge, and I had to catch her body as she fell back into the water.

We were laughing. Again she wrapped her legs around me. We were neck deep in the water, and we were buoyant. Slowly I slipped into her, and she was scalding compared to the cool water. We ground our hips as best we could. I carried her to shallower water and as she began to gain substance I was able to push in and out of her.

I pushed her up against the steps, and after sever thrusts we would take a higher step. When her bottom was on the top step in only a few inches of water, I positioned my feet and I stood up, lifting her out of the water with me still pressed deep inside her. My arms were wrapped firmly around her waist, my hands supporting her buttocks. She clung to me neck and squeezed her legs around me. I moved to mid-thigh-deep water. I lifted her up with a thrust and pulled her up with my arms, and she pulled me back into her with her smooth, strong legs. Our mouths were clamped together, and our teeth clicked as we tried to maintain a kiss.

I had never imagined making love could be like this. I felt powerful and animalistic. I lifted her and thrust into her with more vigor. She took her mouth from mine and leaned her head back. Her hands were clasped behind my neck now. Her heels dug into my buttocks. Her knees were clamped at my side. I was bouncing against her, and it was like she was a swinging pendulum of heated sex.

I started to tire, and she began to take over the movement. She was riding me vertically, and all I could do was hold on to her tightly and help her impale herself on me.

All of our previous lovemaking sessions had been intimate and romantic. This was something entirely different. I was simply flat-out fucking the lovely Mrs. Hollander now. It was primordial and naughty and liberating.

"I am going to come," I announced too loudly. I think I lost conscious. The next thing I knew we were in the water an Laura was on top of me and our limbs were entangled. Water was splashing everywhere, and she was laughing.

"Are you all right?" she asked with sparkling eyes.

"Oh man, that was..." I couldn't think what to say.

"Ridiculous?" Laura offered still laughing.

"Fun." I replied.

"Oh yes, very fun, assuming you're all right."

"I'm fine. Wow!"

And it was enlightening, too. I learned that a woman – an elegant, graceful, sexy, REAL woman – could truly enjoy simply flat-out fucking.

Laura helped me up and kissed me and then she excused herself. As she dried off I found myself marveling at my good fortune. Then she wrapped the towel around her chest and disappeared inside.

When she returned to the patio she was wearing designer jeans and a pink sleeveless blouse. I was still recuperating in the pool. She laid out my shorts and T-shirt on the chaise and set my shoes on the flagstone floor. Then she stood by the pool with her hands on her hips and looked at me. I was immediately overcome with embarrassment; Oh my God, I thought to myself, what the hell am I doing swimming naked in Mrs. Hollander's pool.

She looked at her watch. "You better hustle if you are going to it to make church," she said.

I crawled out of the pool, dried myself off, and got dressed.

When I was through, she said, "We need to talk, Kevin," with an eerily maternal tone. She motioned for me to join her at the patio table.

"We do?" I replied sheepishly as I took my seat.

She looked at me and pouted. "That really wasn't supposed to happen this morning."

"You mean that?" I pointed at the pool and smiled.

"Yes." She shook her head and grimaced. She reached across the table and took my hand. "Kevin, what happened yesterday and last night," and then she heaved a big sigh, "and this morning —" she added with mock exasperation, "is a one time only thing. Do you understand that?"

I didn't respond because I could tell she intended to say more.

"I am going to be brutally honest with you right now, okay?"

I nodded.

"What I did, throwing myself at you like that yesterday, it was very selfish of me..."

"No it wasn't..."

She squeezed my hand. "Shh. Just listen. You don't leave for college till Saturday. Between now and then, you will..." She stopped to gauge her words. "All right both of us will want to, um..."

"Do it again," I said nodding my head eagerly as I tried to help her along. She smiled

"Yes. Do it again," she acceded. That was great, I thought. "But we can't," she added, bursting my bubble.

"Why not?"

"Because it will spoil everything. I hadn't really thought this through until just now, Kevin." She was articulating her words carefully. "I wanted to think that what happened yesterday was unique and special, our little secret. That's how I rationalized it. But really..." She stopped and I got the impression she was welling up with tears. "But really, I was just desperate." Now she stopped because she couldn't speak. I felt like I had to say something to let her know I understood.

"You were lonely and sad," I started, and she nodded, "and you thought that maybe I could make that go away for a while."

"Yes." She forced out the word.

"And you trusted me."

She looked at me with a mix of embarrassment and pain and confusion. She closed her eyes. "You are a remarkably perceptive young man." Then she opened her eyes and looked hard into mine. "Yes I trusted you, but I was also taking advantage of you."

I started to interrupt her but she squeezed my hand and cut me off. "I wanted to be with you so badly, Kevin, that I was willing to overlook a lot of things, including your feelings and the obvious consequences, and that was selfish and wrong, and I'm sorry."

I wholeheartedly disagreed, but I decided not to argue with her.

"Did it work?" I asked finally.

"What?"

"Did the loneliness and sadness go away?"

She smiled and exhaled. "Yes. You were wonderful."

"Then there is nothing to be sorry about." Again I understood. I stood up and pulled on her hand.

"One last kiss?" I asked with resignation.

"Yes, of course," she replied.

We embraced and we kissed with great tenderness and affection.

I would see Laura only two more times.

On Thursday I cleaned her pool. Brad was buying my business, and I brought him along so I could introduce Laura to him. There was a part of me that wanted to leave Brad out of the picture, a part of me that was hoping (just as she had predicted) that I would have a chance to make love to Laura that afternoon. But in the end I knew that was impossible.

Laura was excited to see us and, of course, she made iced tea. After the pool was clean the three of us chatted on the patio. We talked mostly about my upcoming departure, but also about Laura's impending move to San Diego. She told Brad she would recommend him to the new owners. She was hoping it would be only a matter of weeks.

When it was time to go, she pulled me aside and said, "I wanted to give you something, but it can wait." Of course, my first thought was that I had made a mistake in bringing Brad, but then she said, "It will only take a minute, just come by to see me Saturday morning, to say goodbye before you go."

I had my Toyota pickup packed by nine o'clock Saturday morning. I strapped my bike to the tailgate, the finishing touch, and then I walked up to Laura's house to say goodbye. She had been watching me from the living room window, I discovered, and she opened the door just as I stepped onto her porch.

"Good morning, Kevin," she said brightly.

I was full of nervous energy, and there was an awkward moment as we were standing in her foyer trying to figure out how to greet each other. We finally settled on a friendly hug and a peck on the cheek. She led me to the backyard.

There was what looked like an oversized ring box on the patio table. It was black and unmarked. We sat down next to each other.

"I hope you like it," she said. "I don't know what else to do with it. I do want you to have it."

I opened the box. It was a gold and stainless steel Rolex Oyster Perpetual watch. My eyes were wide.

"Now before you say anything, it was Peter's watch. He only wore it to business meetings and on special occasions, so I wasn't about to bury it with him, but it has been sitting on my dresser for a long time now, and, until now, I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do with it."

"It's beautiful."

"Yes, it is. A man should have a good watch."

"I can't take it?"

"Why? Because you think it's weird?" She looked hurt.

"No. But it belonged to your husband."

She put it on my wrist carefully and held my hand. "There. A perfect fit." Then she made sure she had my attention.

"Kevin, please take it. It deserves to be on a man's wrist, not on my dresser. And it's not like I am going to get involved with some man in the future and want him to be wearing Peter's watch. I want YOU to have it."

She paused and swallowed. "And Peter would want you to have it."

He would? It would take me a few years to understand what she had meant.

"Maybe when you look at it... I don't know – maybe every now and then you'll send a kind thought my way."

I welled up a bit.

"Thank you," I said finally.

Over a quarter century later, I still wear that watch almost everyday. My wife of twenty years – whom I met in my first year in grad school, by the way – knows its story. I worried when I first set to telling it to her; I thought she might try to stop me from wearing the watch. However, upon hearing the story, her exact words were, "That's very sweet."

Laura and I hug and kissed like old friends in her foyer. The kiss lingered. I started to open my mouth. She pulled away from me.

"You'd better go," she whispered with a smile.

She came outside and sat in her porch swing while I hustled back to my house. I said goodbye to my parents, and I was off.

As I was about to pull out of the cul de sac, I saw Laura standing in her driveway. It was the last time I would ever see her. Just as she was leaving my sightline, I saw her throw a little kiss in the air. At the time I assumed it was intended for me, but I now know it was intended for the sky and the heavens above.