A Long Walk Home Ch. 05

The raw anguish emanating from Dayton was enough to drive her to her knees. Her eyes filled with tears and she took two involuntary steps towards the room before Jen's voice intruded by calling her name. She was desperate to go to her friend, to try and ease his pain, but he was with his family now. Aaron was with him and this was what Dayton needed. He would never be able to let go of Faith if he didn't allow his emotions free rein.

Swallowing back her tears, Rayne turned and forced herself downstairs after Jen and the children. Aaron would help Dayton; she knew he would. But it was hard to walk away; she was so used to being there for him when he needed her.

*****

"Alexei, please!" Cedar sighed deeply as she watched her furious mate pace up and down the sitting room floor, muttering under his breath, his long blond hair swirling in agitation at each turn.

She had left the children with Loretta and Andrei while she tried to soothe her mate. Her acute distress at Dayton's rejection had set Alexei off in one of his protective furies. Aaron had helped as much as he could but she was starting to think that she'd have to ask Rafe to step in as Alpha. She didn't want to do that because she knew how much Alexei hated being 'handled', as he called it.

"Don't ask me to do what you know I can't, Cedar." He stopped to tower over her, his brown eyes full of molten fire, as she sat on the sofa with her hands clasped together.

"You're incapable of acting like a civilised person?" she enquired dryly, refusing to be intimidated by him. He should have known by now that she didn't crumble very easily under his displeasure.

No, he had much more chance of getting around her with honey than he did with a stick. One deliciously wicked smile, one heated lust-filled glance and she was ready to do anything he wanted. Yelling at her didn't achieve anything except make her yell right back at him.

"The problem with you Alexanders is that you let everyone get away with far too much," he said coldly, ignoring her question. "When Andrei is being an ass I kick his, until he stops. Problem solved.

"But not you, Cedar. When your brothers rip your heart out you thank them for the abuse and let them get away with it. Well, not any more! I will not stand for any further abuse done to you. And if you don't like that, then tough shit. I don't care."

Cedar swallowed down her instant angry retort and fought the sudden need to start crying. If she broke down, Alexei would probably explode completely. The last time she'd seen him this angry was when she had tried to hurt herself to force the issue of their mating. Anger wasn't the solution to this problem; it would only inflame the situation.

Memories of that day so long ago gave her a new angle of approach. "How would you feel if I died, Alexei?"

Her question was so unexpected that he took a step back, denial ripping through him at the thought of anything dreadful happening to her. He growled loudly, clenching his jaw tightly. "That will never happen." The words erupted in a hoarse voice.

She pressed her advantage, seeing him off balance. "What if it did, Alexei? What if the unimaginable did happen and I died? How would you feel?"

His expression turned into a dark scowl, denial clearly flashing in his eyes as he shook his head. "That has nothing to do with this," he bit out. His wolf was going insane inside his head, his feral vampire nature reacting to any possible danger to his mate.

"Answer me, Alexei. Answer the bloody question! How would you feel?" Her voice rose as she stood up and moved the two steps that took her toe to toe with him.

"It would kill me!" he roared back at her, fury and pain rendering his voice so guttural she could barely understand him. She knew she was hurting him but needed him to feel that hurt, to understand it as something so hard and painful it was tangible.

"That's how Dayton feels," she whispered with tears in her eyes. "He's felt that way for every day of the last fifty three years, ten months and twelve days since Faith died."

She watched his eyes widen with shock and she nodded her head slowly. "Yes, I know to the day when she died, love. My entire family does because that's the day we lost our sister, our daughter, and our brother. We feel Dayton's pain just as he does but what we feel is not even a tenth of his anguish."

The tears slipped over her cheeks and ran down in a silent river. Alexei cursed loudly and reached for her but she put her hand up to stop him. She knew he hated to see her cry, but she needed to finish this while she still could.

"It hurts that he won't let us in," she whispered, swallowing hard. "It hurts that we can't help him when we know he needs us so badly. But I'd shed a million tears for him if it would somehow bring Faith back. And I would shed two million more if that's what it took to bring my brother home to where he belongs. Here. With his family. So, please don't hate him, Alexei. Don't hurt him because of me. He's been hurt so badly already, in the worst way possible."

Alexei crushed his woman tightly to his chest, shame running through him as she wept because of him. He was so intent on others hurting her than he failed to realise that he was doing the exact thing that was infuriating him about her brother. "I'm sorry, Cedar," he breathed softly, stroking her back soothingly as he placed little kisses across her wet cheeks. "Forgive me, sweetheart. I didn't understand."

She sobbed a little more, holding her mate tightly while her erratic emotions ran their course. She knew the danger point had passed, that she'd gotten through his fury, that he was once more in control of himself. He was trying hard to fit into a world that he sometimes struggled so much to understand. He didn't always get it right, but he did work hard to learn from his mistakes.

"Please don't ever talk about dying again," Alexei ground out, framing her face in his big hands, a look of anguish in his eyes at the very thought of it. "I know why you did it--so I could understand the depth of your brother's pain--but please don't ever mention it again, Cedar. It rips me apart inside."

She kissed him gently, running her hands through his silky hair as he took over the kiss and stole her breath away with the sheer desperation of his mouth against hers.

"I'm sorry I had to resort to those tactics," she breathed against his lips once he let her up for air. "I needed you to understand, Alexei, and it was the only way."

Alexei rested his forehead against hers and sighed deeply. "Maybe I need to spend some extra time with Aaron, do more training or something," he admitted quietly. "I shouldn't have lost it like that. I shouldn't have put you in that position in the first place."

"You're doing fine, love," she reassured him, a small smile tugging at her lips as she freed her hands from his hair to wipe at her cheeks, a task which he took over with his lips, kissing away the last of her emotional outburst.

"Not good enough if I made you cry," he growled softly, his displeasure evident in his voice.

"I'm sure it won't be the last time," she laughed giving him another kiss to ease his guilt. "Couples fight all the time, love. It's normal. They also kiss and make up afterwards." She gave him her best sultry smile, a shriek of laughter escaping her as he walked her backwards the two steps it took to have her pinned beneath him on the sofa.

"We did the kissing bit," he mused quietly, desire dancing across his gorgeous face as he leaned down and gave her a hard searing kiss that had her body responding instantly to his. "How long are the kids away for?" he murmured against the side of her neck as he nipped lightly at her fragile skin. "We could maybe work on the making up part right now?"

Cedar laughed at his hopeful tone as he pressed his raging erection between her legs, rubbing against her intimately as she felt the first brush of his fangs against her throat. A low moan escaped her as his mouth travelled up to her racing pulse and he sank his fangs deep into her skin.

Her moan turned into a cry of pleasure as his venom rushed through her body, igniting fire wherever it touched. He suckled hard against her, drinking down her sweet blood and groaning in ecstasy as he did.

Alexei hadn't fed for over a week. He tried to limit the occasions on which his woman nourished him with her precious life's fluid. If he did it too often it tired her out. And with two young children and a job as a pack Beta, being tired wasn't an option for his Cedar. He drank deeply, his head spinning as her sweetness infused him with strength--and a deep need to be buried inside her body.

He released her neck, licking her wound closed as he searched once more for her mouth to indulge another of his favourite tastes. A knock on the door had him growling in irritation. "Ignore it! Whoever it is will go away."

"Alexei!" Cedar giggled, trying to squirm out from under him. But he held her pinned easily, refusing to let her get up.

The knock sounded again and Alexei cursed loudly as he rose from the sofa to go to the front door. He wrenched it open with the intent of scaring the shit out of whoever had just interrupted his precious time with his mate, but stopped short when he saw who their visitor was.

His keen gaze took in the slight redness that still ringed Dayton Alexander's eyes and he knew instantly that Aaron's meeting with his brother had been emotionally harrowing. He stared mutely at the man whose head he had been determined to rip from his shoulders just a few minutes ago, and felt a ripple of compassion course through him. Now he understood how difficult coming to the compound had been for the wolf who had lost his mate so long ago.

"Who is it, Alexei?" Cedar asked, running her hands through her tangled blonde curls as she came to the doorway. Her hand stilled in its movement, a small gasp escaping her as she stared at her brother in shock. She hadn't expected him to come looking for her, not after his earlier reaction.

"Hello, Cedar," Dayton said quietly, his deep blue eyes intent on her face searching for any sign of how she might be feeling at him coming to her home.

She moved instinctively, throwing herself into his arms and clinging on for dear life. "Oh, Dayton," she whispered, tears once more making her voice husky.

For a moment he just stood there, stiff and unsure of what to do; then his arms came around his sister and he was suddenly crushing her so tightly, drinking in her sweet scent, allowing himself the soothing touch that was part of being a wolf.

"I suppose you'd better come in," Alexei sighed, with a slightly dry note to his voice. "That's if my mate will release you long enough to let you move."

Cedar groaned and stepped back, pulling Dayton by his hands into her home, laughing and crying at the same time before she was hugging her brother again so tightly.

"I'm Alexei," her mate said rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. "I'll put the coffee on."

Dayton was amazed the vampire wasn't trying to kill him. From everything he'd heard about Alexei Romanov, this was one badass vampire with a very overprotective streak when it came to his family. Aaron had warned him to be prepared for a negative reaction. Cedar's powers of persuasion must have been top notch to restrain her mate.

"Cedar, can you let go now? I promise you I'm not going anywhere for the moment. Rafe has offered me a bed at his place for a little while and I'm going to take him up on the offer."

She stepped back, wiping at her cheeks as she did so. "You promise? I mean, it's okay if you need to go, Day. I understand if you do. It would just be nice if you could stay a little while, meet my children and..."

The smile he gave her was so warm her voice faltered and she couldn't speak. He almost looked like the old Dayton, the man he had been so very long ago before his heart was shattered.

"You deserve a better brother than I've ever been to you, Cedar," he said quietly. "One who doesn't break your heart. And yet you love him unconditionally despite that."

"I don't want a better brother," she whispered more tears gathering in her eyes. "I just want you, Day. No one else."

Her heartfelt declaration didn't rip his heart to pieces as he'd expected. Instead he felt a rush of warmth; his pain eased a little, and then he was wrapping his arms around his sister once more. He swallowed hard, tried to speak and then had to swallow again.

"I'm so sorry," he managed to get out. "I didn't mean to hurt you, to hurt the family."

"We know that, silly." Her reply was instant, her hold on him tightening as he shuddered and fought for control. "We've always known that, Day. Just as we'll always be here for you when you're ready."

Something mended deep inside him. It was just a little something, but it was a start. Swallowing back fresh tears, Dayton luxuriated in his generous sister's love and forgiveness.

He took a deep breath and spoke words he'd thought he would never hear himself utter again but was unable to hold back: "I love you," he whispered softly.

"I love you too, Day, so very much. Welcome home, brother."

To be continued...