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Each one grabs an arm and pull me over to the bed. The pillow is placed and they lay me down in the center of the bed. Smiles and hazy eyes with contentment hovering in them, lie down on either side of me. Trapping me between them. No words are spoken. They clasp hands as they cuddle closer to me and both fall asleep before I can even adjust the sheets.
For now it's ok. Come sun rise... who knows.
- COMMENTS
campbell34910 months agoIt's always fun to read something written by someone who has English as a second language. Accidently using malapropisms and confusing the heteronyms.
Anonymousover 2 years agoAnd the typos have gotten worse. So bad in fact I couldn't get past the third paragraph. I'm done.
Anonymousover 3 years ago...this chapter was really difficult to read, especially the ending sequence. One of the girls should be passed out on the bed, yet suddenly, both of them are kneeling before the main character, seemingly in the space between two beats of his heart. Not only was there so many words out of place, even the scene is a jumbled mess. If the other chapters are the same way as this, then i will read no further than the next one.
Anonymousover 3 years agoif you want to be taken seriously as a writer, at least use an editor of some kind. I knew immediately when you said 'sorted tale' and meant 'sordid' that this chapter would be way worse than the first one. I'm not an internet grammar police type, I just expect that someone who wants to be a writer would either know the right words, proofread their work before posting, or at the very least use an editor or get someone to proof read before publishing.
I really like mage stories and was hoping to enjoy this one, but man there are way too many errors
