A Maggot in My Mind Ch. 05

This is chapter 5 of the story and before reading this you should read the previous chapters. The chapters are not self-contained but part of the same developing story. I apologise for how long this is taking me to put it all together but a good story like good sex is best when it is prolonged.

Chapter 5:

The morning is such a rush. Never enough time, everything squeezed into a precise routine, a well-rehearsed schedule through which we rush with no time wasted in thought. Sara and Tom's routine was completely disrupted one morning when Sara pulled open the draw containing her underwear and with that prickly feeling of fear crawling across her skin she stared down at a foreign set of black latex that was definitely not hers. Pinned to the panties was a simple note - no frills, just a few brief line of words scrawled across a scrap of paper, as if to remind her to buy some groceries on the way home. It simply said: "Wear these today. Ricky."

Sara recoiled from the draw as she pushed it firmly shut pressing her hand flat against the front of the drawer as if it might otherwise open by itself. She was staring at her hands, white with the force she exerted to hold the drawer closed. She turned to Tom, still lying in bed right next to her and tried to compose herself. Normally Tom would lie there and watch her getting dressed before going to have his shower, but this morning was not normal. Perhaps no future morning will ever be again.

"You'd better get ready Tom. Go have your shower."

Tom looked up at his wife and smiled with a slightly quizzical look on his face before he heaved himself out of bed. Tom too felt the strange unfamiliarity enveloping them from the break in their routine. It had an unsettling effect upon him. He could not put his finger on it, but he felt slightly apprehensive as he turned the taps on.

Once Tom was outside the room Sara again stared at the drawer before slowly pulling it back open. She looked at the dark shiny foreign material lying amongst her underwear. She felt a pang of anxiety at the realisation that someone else, no not someone, but someone who knew her; not just someone who knew her, but Ricky, had been looking through her underwear drawer. He had stood where she now stood and had examined everything that she wore so intimately and so privately. He had held them in his fingers, felt the material that pressed up against her body, felt the passion for her that had brought him all the way into her home to deliver his gift. What had he thought of them? Were they repulsive to him, surely they would be… Sara felt embarrassed. Perhaps he disapproved and that was why he had brought these new panties for her to wear. She picked them up and felt the glossy smoothness slippery in her hand. She became aware that her hand was damp and as she looked closer she saw the familiar oily gel that Ricky had used on her the other day. She started to shake as she remembered the effect it had had on her, how excited she had become, and how driven to distraction she was by her desire to be fucked by Ricky. Fucked, the word fuck echoed around in her mind, she toyed with it examining her reaction to this vulgar word that so aptly described her feelings that night. Yes if she wore these today then those unresolved feelings of desire would plague her throughout the day.

She already felt excited at the mental picture she had concocted of herself sitting at her desk at work, legs splayed under it, dreaming of being spread across that desk top Ricky pumping in and out of her, her sloppy wetness in reaction to his onslaught, the fear and thrill of someone coming in at that precise moment and her true self being revealed, finally forced out into the open: her desire to be a fuck toy to this man. To give herself as the object of his desire, to deny him nothing, to be wanton for him and feel the grip of his passion freeze her. To openly and with complete disregard to whoever would see her, abandon herself and display herself being ripped open by him, to let all see how she too could not shake herself free from her desire, and to be so thoroughly fucked. Her need drove her: her need for her debasement, her animalistic need that was overriding all her normal behaviour, flouting all that was expected of her.

Sara gasped as these phantasms overtook her, drowning her in their reverie. She was still shaking, feeling appalled with herself. Some corner of her mind screaming for her to stop, she lifted her nightclothes and slipped her panties off. The latex with the gel oozing out the sides of the crotch, lay in her open palm. She marvelled for a brief moment at the jet black material contrasting against the whiteness of her skin, in her mind she watched herself standing before the mirror - the black V of the material rising up over her abdomen, forcing her long white slender legs apart, tapering down as an inverted V mirroring the rising dark material. The whiteness of her skin contrasting with the black smooth V forcibly pressing between her legs, holding her in, holding her open. Sara pulled her nightie off and slipped the panties on. She pulled them up as high and as tight against her crotch as she could, making sure there was no fold in the material. It had to be smooth to match the picture in her mind; the cool slickness of the gel pressing into her, a familiar and welcome tormentor.

As the sounds of Tom's shower dribbled into the room she looked back at the drawer. She stood before it, her legs spread, the sensations of the sticky gel coating her once more already disturbing her train of thought. She found there a black latex bra to match. She lifted it out. It seemed very small, the material very thin. She pulled it round her and found it was too small. She could not quite get the clasp to catch. She took it off and examined it to see if she could let it out more. Then as she slipped the thin insubstantial straps over her shoulders she felt the loose latex cups brush and tickle her nipples. Once again she tried to draw the strap around behind her. The thin material pulled tight across the mounds of her breasts was stretched and seemed too feeble to take the strain. The dark blackness dissolving with the stretch of the material, the tension it was placed under fitting round her breasts pulled it tight and thin. She could see her breasts and her nipples clearly in an inky black tone, the roundness of her breasts accentuated by the tightness of the material. She almost had the clasp done as she felt the cool material into which her nipples were pulled, excite them and extend them. She felt them harden as the clasp caught and locked into place. She felt the tightness around her chest as she stood before the mirror. Her breasts seemed so much bigger encased in the material that strained so hard to encompass them. The latex now so thin she could see every detail of her breasts, and her nipples that pressed into the latex making dark points surmounted upon well-rounded creamy black domes.

Quickly now she got ready to hide these pleasures under her work clothes and rush off to work. Yet so excited was she that she couldn't resist picking up some more revealing items from her wardrobe than she would normally wear to work. The neckline a little lower, the skirt just above the knee, flaring slightly. She put her makeup on and once again made herself slightly more provocative than usual: the eyeliner a little darker, her lashes a trifle longer, her lips a more pomegranate shade of red and her foundation a paler tan. Her hair was loose as she pulled it out and let it fall. She would normally tie it back, but she liked the feel of the feminine flow of the strands brushing against her cheeks. As she stared back at herself in the mirror she saw an altogether more feminine woman looking back at her, she had an insecure allure and a hint of her secret peeking through her expression. She presented an image of a more docile person, her mind elsewhere more aware of her shapeliness and how others perceived her.

At that moment Tom came into the room and wrapped his arms around her. Somehow he needed the feel of reassurance, to feel her solid form, that she was not some ethereal mirage.

"You look gorgeous. Anything special happening today?"

She caressed his hands and smiled at his reflection in the mirror. Her head bent under his chin as she said: "Just hoped you'd like it." She turned her head and kissed him. Tom smiled back and they broke their embrace and continued with their separate days.

*****

By the time Sara was walking across the car park to her office she was annoyed with herself. Back in the reassuring surroundings of her work she felt she had been acting stupidly to allow such fantastical notions to pervade her. She would go straight up to the bathroom and clean herself off and remove that stupid underwear. She had felt the restriction around her chest and although it did not actually inhibit her breathing, she still found herself breathing more deeply, her chest heaving in sighs and with long indrawn breaths. Her breasts each time rose up and pushed themselves forward, her mounds pressed still tighter against the fabric of the bra. She felt her flesh stick and fuse into the material. The sensations brought her mind constantly back to her erect nipples, the soft roundness of her flesh, the forward display of her bosom and how much more conscious she was of men looking at it.

As she sat in the toilet she had pulled her skirt up slightly and saw the sleek black material poke out from underneath of the cotton fabric. She saw the long stretch between her thighs and the glint of reflected light from the sweeping curve of the material hugging her so closely. She stared at it for a moment and felt the rise of excitement burn her neck. That stupid gel had already got to work and she was feeling the now familiar itch in her groin as blood engorged her clitoris. She should pull them off and wipe herself clean, she should stop this behaviour; she had to get a grip on her life. How could she have let herself drift into these abusive situations? Yet as she looked down at her latex encased crotch she felt a thrill, something quite extraordinary outside of everyday experience. Life suddenly seemed so dull, just plodding along, getting by. If she took them off then today would become just another ordinary day and in years would be lost in the babble of background noise that was her life. Yet if she kept them on, if she experienced that unrelenting need, that overpowering desire, that inability to draw her mind away from her sex and Ricky, then today would indeed stand out and its memory remain with her forever. She would always remember the coiled tautness that pulled imaginary strings in her body making her tense, making her more alive and her body more sensitive.

She thought about Ricky and felt a surge of dampness as she pictured him stealing into their apartment. The risk he had taken - of being seen, being found by Tom or Marie, or by the neighbour; and how would he have explained the inexplicable? He could not. He had taken risks for her in order to share with her these feelings of excitement. She imagined him sitting at his desk all day today thinking of her, wondering how incapable she too would be to drag her thoughts away from him, to lay herself open before him. He had shown her that he wanted her and the desire she instilled in him was driving him to crazy acts that surely no sane person would contemplate. She thought of him looking through catalogues or wandering around stores trying to decide what underwear to buy her. She pictured him surrounded by lingerie weighing up in his mind, which would suit her frame, which would arouse him more once he saw her dressed in it. She smiled at the thought of his taking so much trouble over her. Surely she should wear them for him. That was not too much to ask after all that trouble, was it? She was gripped by the thoughts of complicity.

All this while her hand roamed across her mound, stroking it, inflaming it further. She remembered Ricky's firm grip between her legs, pressing into her, as Tom had prepared dinner. He had pushed the gel deeper into her skin, coating her more and more liberally. She found her hand reciprocating, spreading the inflaming juices around to ensure no part of her could escape the pleasure that was now rippling up her spine and embracing her.

NO, she must stop this. She had to grasp her own identity and take hold of her destiny once more. She had to pull them off and clean herself up before it was too late. She must take these panties off; she would wander around without panties today… NO, she couldn't go about without panties! What was she thinking of? Yet the thought of her nakedness so close to her colleagues, barely hidden under the thin slip of her skirt, so available as she talked with her innocent male colleagues captivated her. She was lost once more absorbed into the images that conjured up as some magic trick in her mind. Her hand slipped under her blouse and caressed her latex coated breast. The smooth material and the heat flowing through it, the small nubbin for her nipple which she rolled between her fingers, so prominent. No she would ride out this storm today and succumb to her fate realising that she doomed herself at the end of the day to quivering disloyal pleasure. She flushed the toilet and left for her office, her over-excited clitoris pressed firmly against the tight fabric that brushed back and forth against it as she strode down the corridor.

*****

All through the day she had tried in a vain desperate attempt to focus upon her work. Every time she talked with her colleagues she wondered what they would think of her if only they knew. Her excitement had risen throughout the day and by the afternoon she could not draw her eyes away from the crotches of her male co-workers. Her mind dallying on their cocks wrapped neatly up, tucked away but ready to spring forth, to grow and expand like some giant reaching out toward her. She imagined herself impaled upon their cocks, riding them thinking dimly that this was wrong, but being so overwhelmed by satisfying her need, her body could not respond. She had to shake her head to dispel these images and once or twice caught a quizzical look on their faces. Had they noticed her eyes being drawn to their crotches? Her face went red at the thought and her cunt clenched in response to the humiliation of the thought.

Other times she would look at their hands. Look at their fingers – some long and thin, others quite dumpy. She imagined them running along the length of the slit and imagining how it might feel. So used was she to Tom's fingers that she started to feel curious about the different sensations. She wondered whether she would be able to tell if she was blindfolded and all she could feel was the touch of a man playing with her. Could she know whether it was Tom, could she guess who among these men she fantasized over was pleasuring her? But she would never dare to let them know what thoughts were running through her mind. She had kept herself in check, but she had found her hands drawn more frequently under her skirt and rubbing themselves, pressing hard against her clitoris, making herself moan with pleasure that radiated from her hot crotch. She felt it was not enough, she needed to feel something bury itself inside her, but she kept herself going through the day with the thought of saving herself for Ricky.

By the time she had got home she was exhausted but in great need. She was home early, anticipating that Ricky would come over before Tom got back. She planned what they would do, where they would fuck and there would be no chat, no pleasantries. They would be together for too short a time, they needed to spend all of it in desperate passion. She would keep her clothing on, for certainly Ricky would want to see her wearing it, but had taken off her clothes and wrapped herself in her dressing gown. It would provide quick and easy access to her.

Sara heard the key turn in the lock. She rushed out into the hall.

"Hi honey. How was the day?"

She stopped in her tracks as she saw that it was Tom. She felt her heart lurch. This was not what she had expected and a sudden coldness swept over her as reality finally penetrated her thoughts. Of course it wasn't Ricky, this was the time Tom usually got back from work. Why had she been surprised? As she kissed him on the cheek she felt her disappointment and a black depression suddenly swamped her. Tom was smiling at her but she pulled away.

"I've had a lousy day. Not too good at all. In fact I think I'll take an early night."

Tom looked concerned for his wife.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Sara just shook her head as she turned away. What could she say to him? How could she explain to her husband that she felt bitter disappointment that it was him and not another man who had come in through the door? She knew that it was not his fault. She knew that actually she should be much more compassionate with him, but she just could not manage that on top of the feelings that had so dominated her during the day and the build up of expectation that had accompanied it.

"No I'll just have a lie down. I have such an aching head." Sara went and collapsed on the bed. She felt like crying, she was so frustrated. She could not bring herself to talk or read or think of anything else. How could Ricky have just left her like this? Surely he had wanted to come and fuck her? She felt betrayed as she sank into sleep – at least she could escape her feelings for the night.

Into her dreams she felt the warm breath against her cheek, the closeness of a masculine body, one that she could not make out but whose presence dominated her. She felt her head move towards his hidden face and her lips parted as he kissed her. She felt his tongue slide into her mouth and she became instantly more passionate. Suddenly she felt the touch of real flesh against her lips and the contradiction startled her awake. She found the room dark, but leaning over her was the frame of a man's head. She was about to shriek when his hand slipped over her mouth and she felt rather than heard his whisper:

"It's me, Ricky."

Her eyes strained to focus, and dimly she could make out that it was indeed Ricky. She turned to her side and found Tom fast asleep next to her. The room was dark. He must have had his dinner and crept into bed without disturbing her. She wondered what time it was, but then she felt her heart start to quicken as her fogged mind started to appreciate that Ricky had crept into her bedroom as she slept next to her husband. What danger he was in should Tom hear anything and rouse. Her eyes acknowledged Ricky and he withdrew his hand. She slipped out of bed still wearing her dressing gown and padded silently out of the room behind him.

Downstairs she stood before him as he pulled open her gown. He had lit the fire and he surveyed her in her underwear in the flickering light of the flames. They were silent as they watched each other. Her eyes followed his, nervous and attentive, seeking some acknowledgement that he was satisfied with how she looked. She knew he must be comparing the sight of her with an image that must have played across his mind all day. She too realised that he must have felt equally frustrated at not being able to get access to her until now in the dead of night, and that this shared frustration bonded them still more together. He was smiling and Sara felt relief relax her tense muscles. He slipped his hand around her waist and stared down at her tits. She felt the warmth of the fire caress them through the thin fabric and Ricky bent down and took one of her nipples between his teeth, through the material. He bit slightly and she felt the pain, then as his head moved away she looked down and saw the material torn around her nipple that stood bright red in the glow of the fire.