Book 01: A Match Made Ch. 04

“Mom!” Of course!! I released you from my grip; you didn’t move a muscle.

“Out back, honey!” A blonde head led the way as my baby came outside.

“Good grief. I think this is what you were doing last time I saw the two of you.”

Rach came and kissed both of us. We did a three way hug. Well, there was no reason not to. I pushed Kara off my lap and pulled my daughter on it to replace her. She curled herself like... sigh!

“Both of us know something’s goin’ on, honey. How long have you been here?” My baby made herself smaller on my lap – if that’s possible. I tightened my grip on her.

Her voice little and tremulous, she said, “Since last weekend.” Oh gawd!! I kissed her hair and began to rub her back.

“Go ahead.” She started to cry. I had to fight back tears. I stole a glance at my honey, who was keeping a close eye on everything. She smiled through her leaky eyes and nodded.

“You’re gonna make me aren’t you?” You know the answer, honey. We’ve done this since you were in junior high. I nodded. “Okay fine. We had a big fight. I had to work the next day and when I came home, June was gone. It was a Friday. I thought maybe she’d stayed out with people from work. She does that once in a while. Normally she’d text. Anyway, I came home to find her gone. There was a note.” And the tears came again as Rach cried harder this time.

There wasn’t much I could do but hold her. It tore at my soul to see my child in pain. I know that pain and it... I saw love and sympathy in your eyes. And I smiled and nodded. And cried. And held my youngest as she cried. And waited.

“She’s gone home. Home!! This is her home. Not that place she grew up. Her Grammy is gone, her idiot father hates her. I don’t know why she went but she did. I love her, Mom. I miss her. I want to call her and can’t. I don’t dare. If she didn’t answer or...” Tears started again. I closed my eyes and hugged my not so little girl.

Somewhere in my past someone had told me, ‘You’re only as happy as your most unhappy child.’ You got that right!!

Kara had the decency to point upstairs and mouth ‘Do you want to be left alone?’ I smiled and shook my head.

It had to be asked so I did.

“What was the fight about?” Well, maybe not. There were more tears. At least I get to hold my last born.

“Come on Rachel, try! Stop crying and talk to me please.” Kara raised an eyebrow. I had to try some gentle tough love. I stuck out my tongue. She licked her lips. It took every last bit of willpower not to giggle.

“Why are you laughing, Mom?” Um! I glared at blondie, who was biting her lip.

“It’s Kara’s fault.” She blanched. And gave me the finger – in stereo! My blondie giggled.

“Kara’s fault huh. You two are a trip.” She lifted her face, looked me in the eye, and gave me a kiss on the lips, snotty nose and all. The joys of motherhood never end!! Enough nonsense with Kara; I need to help Rach.

“Okay child of mine; you’ve had your crying time and you’ve had your giggle time. Now tell me what the hell has you in my house, alone, not to mention not calling your Mother for so long.” My baby’s eyes teared at ‘my house.’ I kissed her.

“It wasn’t one thing. It was a bunch of ‘em. We were out one weekend doing the crazy shit we do with friends from school and stuff like that.” My mind flashed to our Saturday night. “A guy I dated for a while came up to me and started talking. June had gone to the bathroom. She came back; I introduced her to Troy as a friend.” Oh god!! “Her glare was intense; idiot Troy had no clue. I did what I could with him, which did nothing for June.” Blue eyes searched mine.

“I didn’t mean to but it happened so suddenly and I just didn’t... I screwed up. I’m gay and I... couldn’t say that I am to a guy I had dated.” And there were tears. “June was hurt. She tried to pretend that she wasn’t but I just knew.” My baby looked up at me. “I tried, Mom; really I did. But I never really thought my Junie thought I meant it.”

I sighed. What the hell do I say to her? I pretty much understood June’s thinking. And how could I not defend my daughter’s position? Forget that she’s my offspring – she’s an adult. Doesn’t the truth often lie somewhere in the middle of just about everything?

One thing was clear in the muddle so far. There was more to this whole mess and my little girl would fess up.

“Honey, you two love each other way too much for that to lead to this.” Blue eyes teared and she nodded. “Okay, so what is it exactly? Better you tell me now so we can figure out whatever it is to make it better.” Please God let that be enough!!

Whatever else got ‘solved’ would have to wait for more tears. Kara blew me kisses and mouthed her love. I winked.

I lifted Rachel’s chin to let her know crying time was over.

“There was another night that we were out. One of June’s ex-girlfriends came up to her. I had no idea; she was over the moon excited. I was like what the fuck!!” Lord, save us from the trials and tribulations of dating!! Blue eyes pleaded for understanding. “I was jealous; I know it was stupid, but I couldn’t stop myself.” The tears started again as she buried her face in my chest. The other blue eyes were amused. I shook my head; she nodded. I love her!!

“I tried not to be jealous and made a fool of myself and made June super pissed off.” My baby looked up at me. “What hurt the worst was when she introduced me as ‘a friend.’” Kara gasped. My tummy gurgled. That was really icky June!

“When we got home, I exploded. June was totally angry. We went back and forth, screaming at each other. She told me that she can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust her.” Cue more tears. “It’s so stupid, Mom. We love each other.”

I looked at you. Your blues were teary. You smiled but it was weak. There was more.

“There’s more.” I know honey. “We’d talked about getting a place of our own. Actually, June brought it up before I did. I said no.” She had been looking at me but buried her face in my chest. Kara smirked; I stuck out my tongue. “I thought you needed me to be here after Daddy died.” The floodgates opened; mine and blondie’s – hers in sympathy.

“I’m sorry if that’s stupid, Mom, but it’s true.” She kissed me on the lips again. “I was super pissed. After I said no, she clammed up. She wouldn’t talk to me about it; never gave me an explanation.” She shrugged. “I think she’s... there’s more goin’ on with her and her family than she’s ever admitted.” I looked at blondie, who nodded. As did I.

“I think she’s super bummed and has been trying to figure out how to make things right with her Mom and Dad, which is so totally stupid. I tried to say so and she just gets so angry and so we fight about it and then we don’t make love and ... OH GOD!” I held my little girl as she sobbed. Kara blew me a kiss with her lips and finger. I smiled.

And we sat. And we waited. And my baby cried. So we sat. And we waited.

From the valley between my girls, my baby whined, “I love her, Mommy.” Well just break my fucking heart!!!

The tears fell and I couldn’t stop them. Kara tried to stop hers to no avail. And the three of us sat on my patio crying our eyes out on a Sunday night in July.
***
I was on the train Monday after work. After all that was the weekend, it was actually good to be at work. Hell, if nothing else it filled eight hours of my day. In that sense it was a welcome relief. Yes of course Kara and I had texted back and forth. Several were about my phone call with Gail. She was actually going to come downtown Wednesday and we were going to have dinner. Naturally, Kara asked if she was invited - which made me think of Rachel and June.

There wasn’t going to be a resolution to that problem last night. The three of us agreed to go to bed. Kara asked me if I wanted to spend the night with Rach. I’d had that thought on the patio. She was old enough to sleep alone. If she cried, she cried. I wasn’t sure Kara understood, and I wasn’t sure it was the best idea.

Oh we talked about that and more. There was no lovemaking. My honey offered to cuddle me. Fingers caressed and lips pressed here and there as we whispered. Intimate yes; lovemaking no. It was wonderful! I answered Kara’s question.

“She has to call June. She knows that; she ‘s afraid.” You nodded. “She will. And I’ll nudge her if she continues to stall.”

“You mean like finally having you hand me the phone today?” I slapped your hip. I hate when she’s right.

“When are you and Barb meeting?” You squirmed in silence. I waited. “So you haven’t called either huh?” A giggle.

“Um, no I haven’t. I’ll do it tomorrow. I promise.”

We agreed it was best for me to be with Rach. We’d been with each other for some time now. It might not be fun to be apart, but a break might help. Plus there was my daughter. Sure, Gail and I could have met at the house, but she offered to come downtown. I suspected she might welcome the chance for a dinner not in the burbs.

My daughter’s car was in the garage. Yup, the restaurant is closed Mondays. I put my purse and keys down and listened. No music and it didn’t sound like the TV was on in her room. Because I’m a Mom, I checked the patio. Nope.

“Is that you, Mom?” Blonde hair and blue eyes bounded down the stairs. She kissed me and said, “She loves me, Mom.” Of course she does sweetie. She was gorgeous and casual in a string tee and short shorts; no bra.

“Want to tell me about it at dinner?”

“You’re not cooking, obviously.” No, brat, I’m not.

Andrew’s Open Pit wasn’t too far away and open on Mondays. You’d have to know it was there. An off the street strip mall seemed a silly place for a restaurant to me.

Miss Rachel took note of the fact they were open seven days and had extended hours. After we had ordered, she asked our server, Molly, for an application. A manager came with the application. They exchanged pleasantries. Rachel gave details of her experience and interest. James Summers, the manager, suggested that with summer college kids going back to school in the not-too-distant future there would be openings. It was James, not Jim, by the way!

“Would you mind working a couple of shifts a week to start?”

“Not at all; it would let me keep my steady hours and get my feet wet with your menu and how you do things.”

“I’ll give you a call in a couple of days. We’ll see what we can do.” Rach was ecstatic!!

“Mom, look how busy this place is on a Monday night in July!” The room was more than half full. I’m a partly sunny kind of girl. “The food isn’t too expensive, but if you get a couple of tables with drinks, it adds up. And the prices help bring in families.” Yes, I remember dear. We’re a family.

“I wanted someplace not too far from the house and I wanted to be able to talk to you. We can go to Dominick’s after. So spill, blondie. You and June obviously talked. Who called who?” A Rachel size grin was my answer.

“She called, Mom. That was the best part. She missed me too. She’s coming back later this week. She’s worried about her job; kinda lied and told them there was a family medical emergency.” Kid is smart, I’ll give her that.

“I remember reading a story where one of the characters said all four of her grandmothers had died.” We both laughed.

“That’s pretty funny. The author must have some crazy sense of humor!!” I shrugged.

We ate and talked and talked.

“What’s your takeaway from all this, honey?” You looked up from your dinner (stir fry shrimp) with questions in your eyes. Come on kid, I raised you better than this. “What did you learn about June and yourself?” The blues brightened, then looked puzzled. “What would you do differently next time, or not do?”

“Um, if I’m gonna be me, then it’s all the time, regardless of who I’m with or where we are.” Note to self: kid is bright.

“That’s really good, Rachel. And thanks, actually; I have to remember to do the same.” Her look said ‘oh really?’

“Yeah, the two of you are out more than Kara and I. You do more socializing and stuff.”

“What about at work? Do people you work with know you’re gay?” Geezuz. I squirmed.

“Work is kinda odd, honey. There are bosses, most of whom are younger than me. And then there’s a lot of kids who are more your age. Well, sort of your age to your sister’s age. They’re not... I’m not really buddy-buddy with them. They hang with people their own age and the last thing I want to do is talk about my personal life with them.” Why do I feel uneasy about all this? “If someone asked if was seeing anyone, I would answer yes.” That got a smile. “There’s no way I would deny my relationship with Kara.”

I took a couple bites of my dinner. I would take the chicken home but was eating the half slab of very good ribs. Both were barbequed. The sauce makes all the difference. The ribs, salad and rice were more than enough.

“Are you okay talking about this, Mom?” Yeah pretty much. I smiled.

“If I am this new me then like you said – I have to live it and be out, not just kinda out. I’m not interested in being part of a cause or anything, but neither am I going to get pushed around or told I’m wrong to love who I do and live like I do.”

My youngest put her hand on mine and squeezed. “I’m proud of you. I was pretty shocked when you told me you were like me, but it’s kinda cool.” Twenty two giggled. “And you and Kara really are fun together.” I blushed. “It’s pretty funny to think of my Mom and her girlfriend doin’ it more than me and my girlfriend.” All righty then!! Give me a shovel and let me pull the earth over my head.

We did our shopping. I was prepared to buy some fresh food but not like I would if I was going to be there all week. Which prompted a call.

“Hi baby; how are the girls doing? What’s going on with Rach; is everything okay?” I laughed. “Yeah, that’s probably too many questions. Where are you?” Much better!

“We’re doing food shopping at Dominick’s, which is why I called. Are we going to spend the week here after being at your place for a while?”

“Oh, everything is better and you want me in your bed huh?” Well, now that you mention it – yes.

“That pretty much sums it up.” Rachel came back to the cart with ground beef, chicken and steaks; the last for Sunday. “Okay, let me get going here. I’ll call you a little later.”

“Call me or kiss me?” Kitty shivered and put goggles on I think. I’m sure I heard giggles.

“I love you!”

“Be naked when I see you.” I did a full body shiver on that one. My god this woman!!

“What on earth did Kara say to turn you so red, Mom?”

“She said she was looking forward to seeing me.” That’s not really a fib.

“She’s coming to the house tonight?”

“Yes.” We were in the checkout line. I want my daughter to shut up! What are the odds of that happening?

“I’m gonna have to call June and tell her. She thinks Kara is hot as it is.” Slim and none would be the correct answer.

I suffered in silence as we put food away. What I mean is I was tingling and in need of a change of underwear – badly! I still had questions for my daughter about her and her girlfriend.

“I’m not real happy about June up and leaving without a phone call, Rach.”

She stopped what she was doing, looked at me, nodded and said, “Yeah, we sorta talked about that. She apologized; said she knew that hurt me. I made her promise she’d never do that again, which was probably pretty dumb.” Yes it was.

Rach went back to putting away groceries. No more information was being volunteered. I was certain there was more to the story, but I made the decision to let her tell it when she was ready.

We watched TV Monday night. There wasn’t much on. I dislike the woman who plays the lead on TNT’s ‘Major Crimes.’ I just don’t care for her character. And I’ve read David Baldacci’s books and refuse to watch a network make mince meat out of a show like ‘King and Maxwell.’ It might be good; the dude who played the husband to Kyra Sedgwick’s character is in it. I know I’m picky. I don’t like movies and television wrecking a good author’s writing.

And I think Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander are yummy!! Who wouldn’t right? Sasha, I got crackers for ya, honey!!

I excused myself and went upstairs to change. Let the record show: I did not tease or please myself. And oh my god that was not easy!

It was sheer torture peeling my thoroughly soaked underwear from my poor, shivering kitty. Ladies, I know you feel me!

The next adventure was to wash a shivering kitty without... oh gawd. Yeah, that! Yes I remember every glorious thing. If you’re not squirming in your chair reading... honestly, whatever!!

After all that, I came out and grabbed a pair of panties. And heard voices!! As in plural. And kitty started moon walking. Would I lie?

On a hunch I stripped, giggling, and lay on the bed with my legs spread in what I hoped was seductive and attractive, with an arm under my head.

It took a while but you crossed the threshold, stopped, gawked, giggled, and closed and locked the door.

“Well hello stranger!” You began peeling clothes from my body as you walked.

I panted, soaked from the lust I saw in your eyes when you gazed at me. Come take me, blondie. The words were lost in a clogged throat. All that escaped was a moan. Grays on mine, you nodded and climbed on the bed. I love Mondays!!
***
Dinner with Gail Wednesday evening went pretty well. She and Kara seemed pretty comfy with each other. Gail and I had a lot to catch up on. She offered to have lunch on a weekend; I’d wait for that phone call. We were both to blame, if you want to call it that, for not spending as much time as we did when Dylan was alive. And there was no doubt in my mind that guilt played a role in that. How much was something Kara and I talked about on our way to her place.

“She’s cute. She seemed excited to help you sell the house. Was it me or was there something missing; like not a lot of zip. I can’t put my finger on it.” Then you had a thought. “Oh wait; I remember he was coming from their house that night. That’s it, isn’t it? She still feels guilty.”

“For just about all of our married lives the four of us were thick as thieves. The two of them could barely look at me at the wake and funeral. Life goes on. She’s a good friend. If tonight is any indication, I have some work to do rebuilding the relationship. It’s not their fault he was driving that night.”

“Did you ever make a pass at her?” I am not pleased. I glared at you. “What? I’m just curious? Oh wait; you never told Dylan. No, you wouldn’t. You couldn’t risk that she’d say no and tell her husband, who might tell Dylan.” Thank you! “Don’t be mad at me.” At the light, I leaned and gave you a kiss.

“You had just about all of that right, lover.” Kara knew about the abuse. “I never did tell Gail about what he did to me, early on or later. Right or wrong, I didn’t want them getting involved.” We were inside her condo. Kara pressed me against the door and kissed me. Last night at the house had been pretty quiet. We’d played hearts with Rach and sat outside and chatted. It seemed tonight wouldn’t be as quiet. The kiss was lovely as usual. Kara turned me loose and headed to the bedroom. I followed. We both got out of our work clothes. I hung mine up and called to you.

“So I’ve had my meeting with my realtor; how about you?” You’d gone into the bathroom to wash your face. The water ran but there were no words. I was beginning to get irritated. It felt like you were pushing for me to get started with mine, and I didn’t know what was going on with you and this place. “Will you please say something, answer me, anything.”