A Matter Of Trust Ch. 02

“What do you want?”

“I have dreamed about the chance to please you the way you please me.”

“Colby…”

“I want to touch you…I want to take you in my mouth…”

“Christ.” His eyes closed and he shivered…he had never felt so hot all over in all his life as he looked at her again, to see she had taken yet another step towards him and this time she held her small hand out in his direction. “Baby, I don’t know if I can do this.” She was asking in the most direct yet innocent way for him to step from behind his walls once and for all, but he was not at all certain he could, even for her…for the woman he loved more than life.

“I think you can. I think you can do this. I think you can trust me.”

“Sweetheart…”

“I think you know in your heart that you can trust me, but the problem is, you are not so sure you can trust yourself.” She sounded wiser far beyond her years and Justin found that he was utterly captivated by her voice and her eyes. “I won’t pretend that I understand what it is you feel to every extent, but I can tell you that I love you and if you take this chance with me, I will never hurt you or fail you and I will love you forever. For life. I will be at your side and for better or worse, I will hold you and I will give myself to you…” Her voice broke, she was almost to overcome with emotions to do anything more than stand there and cry silently as his eyes moved from hers, to her hand, and back again as she waited and wondered and prayed.

“If I were to ever look in your eyes and see disgust…” He shook his head.

“You never will. Never. I swear to you, when you look in my eyes, all I you will see just love and passion and devotion and…” Colby drew in a breath, sensing that his decision hung in the balance. “Just take my hand and take a chance for me and you.”

“For us?”

She nodded slowly. “Take a chance for us.”

“Colby…” The world seemed to stand utterly still…he could see her…in that moment he could see his past filled only with pain, save the parts that Colby had been involved with and he knew, in that moment, that his future would be nothing without her and he couldn’t allow himself to have her unless he could give himself to her completely.

“Put aside the fear and just focus on me and you.”

“On us.” He said rather than asked, but she still nodded.

“On us, Justin.”

He opened his mouth to speak, and for a terrified moment, she was certain he was going to tell her no…she was certain he would turn and walk away from her, but instead, to her surprise and her delight, he reached out ever so slowly and as she held her breath tight in her lungs, he placed his strong hand in her smaller one.

“I trust you, Colby, and I…I want to trust myself but I need your help, baby.” Fresh tears, tears he didn’t have the means to control, slipped from his eyes and Colby felt her heart break into a million pieces at his gentle plea. “I need you to guide me through this…I need you and I need to lean on you…” It was a rare thing for him to show weakness, and the fact that he was willing to do so with her, the fact that he was willing to step from behind his walls told her far more about his feelings for her than words ever could.

“I will help you. I swear it.” She gently squeezed his hand. “I would like it very much if we could go into my room.” It was a first step, the one of many, and after a moment, he gave a slow nod and Colby prayed with all her might for guidance as together, his hand held very warmly in hers, she turned and together, they walked from the living room, down the short hall, into the bedroom.

Once safely inside, she turned on the lamp beside her bed, flooding the room with a light that nearly made Justin wince as he watched Colby turn back the sheets before she took a breath and turned to face him.

“How about I get this started.” Her voice was whispery and warm.

“What do you mean?” He stood still as a statue.

“I mean this…” With a sweetly seductive smile, she reached for the hem of her dress so she could life it over her head and toss it to the floor in one graceful motion that left her totally bare before him….bare and perfect and in a flash, Justin felt blood rush to his cock and Colby’s eyes darted to his expending pants before finding his gaze again.

“God, you are so beautiful.”

“I am so glad you think so, love.”

“Colby…”

But she shook her head and shushed him. “I want to kiss you.” She moved to him in a slow, sensual stride that held him motionless as she finally wrapped her arms around his neck, so she could press herself close to him. “I want to kiss you…” Again, she said the words, feeling as if she needed to keep him off balance slightly…she had to keep him from allowing his fears to rise to the surface and she was determined to do that as she pressed her lips to his, teasing his lips until his mouth opened and her tongue slipped inside to taste and devour.

His arms moved to cradle her around the waist…he slid one hand to cup her bare and satin soft bottom as they melted into one, merged by their love and need for one another that seemed to abound endlessly as Colby pulled back and looked into his eyes as her fingers very gently teased the hairs at the back of his neck.

“I so love you.” It felt wonderful to be free to say the words. “And I love knowing that I have your love back, Justin.” Her eyes smiled into his and he cupped her face.

“I will love you until the day I die.”

“It is the same for me, but now, we are both very much alive, and I think we need to do all we can to express our love.” Slowly, she untangled herself from him so she could take a step back while he watched her, mesmerized, as always, by her beauty as her hair fell down to her shoulders while the light bathed her in a sensual glow. “If it is okay, I would like very much to be able to take your shift off, Justin.” She felt compelled to ask his permission, assuming that the time was right would not have been fair to him, and after a long moment, he shook his head and she felt something inside slowly begin to wither away.

“I need…I need to do it.” He said it softly. “I need to do it for me.” It was a step he had to take, for himself as much as for her, and what he hoped they could be together and Colby nodded, not trusting herself to speak when so many emotions were so close to the surface in such a tender moment.

She kept her eyes on his, locked and warm and reassuring as he lifted his hands that trembled to work the first button on his shirt…the second….the third…it felt as if the world away from Colby, the world outside her apartment, had ceased to exist and Colby prayed that it would stay that way for a while longer as his shirt was finally completely opened and once it was, Justin closed his eyes tightly before shrugging it off.

Again, he stood statue still, he didn’t even seem to breathe as he stood there with his eyes closed and his shoulders taunt as Colby allowed her tear filled eyes to move slowly over him, seeing for the first time the scars he so hated.

The puckered, white ridged track began just below his shoulder and covered most of his arm…over his chest…disappeared beneath his pants…charred flesh that had never healed to completion and never would, the scars were not pretty, but nor were they hideous and totally horrible, as he seemed to believe and as he stood there with his eyes still closed, Colby went to him, to place one hand on his unscarred shoulder while the other moved to touch his waist in a tender gesture that made Justin jump.

The flesh felt ridged beneath her hand, and she touched him gently as he gave a slow tremble that ripped at her heart.

“Does it hurt?” It was something she had always wanted to ask him.

“No. Not really, at least. The scars can be sensitive to the cold…”

“What about to touch, Justin? Are they sensitive to touch?”

At the question, his tear damp eyes opened. “A little…”

“What if I did this…”

Not finishing the thought, or allowing him a chance to wonder what she had in mind, she pressed a kiss to his scared shoulder…littered kisses down his waist…flicked her tongue over the scars as he gasped and placed his hands in her hair, unable to believe that she was kissing him; she was willingly, eagerly, sensually kissing the scars that ran down his body, all the way to his waist, until she was on her knees before him and when she looked up at him, he could see passion burning bright in her eyes.

“Colby…” He breathed her name the best he could.

“I love you.”

“Your eyes…your eyes…”

“What about my eyes, Justin?”

He shook his head as if in disbelief. “I see just love…”

“Love and no disgust?”

“No disgust.” It was more than he could wrap his mind around.

“Disgust is one thing you will never, ever see in my eyes, my love.”

“I am starting to believe that.”

“Good.” She managed to smile at him despite the urge to cry as the walls he had kept between them for so long slowly began to crumble away. “I want you to believe in and place your trust in me, Justin.” She wanted a life with him, from that moment forward, but she didn’t say as much as slowly, allowing him the chance to understand what she had in mind and just what she intended to do, she carefully unbuckled his belt…unbuttoned his pants…the zipper made a soft, grinding sound as Colby slowly lowered it while Justin sucked in a breath.

“Sweetheart…”

“I want to suck your cock, Justin.” She had never been so bold as to say such a thing, so directly and for a moment, he could only blink…and then he slowly nodded.

“Are you…sure?”

She nodded, smiling again, gaining confidence. “I am very sure.” She had wanted for so long and it showed in her eyes as he released the breath he was holding and taking her time, wanting the anticipation to continue to build, she caught his pants by the hem and very carefully, she lowered them from his hips, down his leg.

Scars similar to the ones on his chest and arm marked his leg, from his thigh to above his knee and again, Colby felt her heart shatter over the pain he had known…pain she had not been able to help him cope with, until that moment, as he lifted his feet at her tenderly gentle command, allowing her to completely free him from the garment.

The instant the pants were finally cast aide, Colby allowed her eyes to move to him…to the part of him she had wanted to see freely for so long…the part of him that stood hard and long and erect to at least ten inches that took her breath as he looked down at her, watching her with curious eyes that widened when she gently moved to cup his balls in her small, soft, unbelievably tender hands.

“Colby…” He gasped her name, fearful for a moment that his knees would buckle.

“I love how hot your skin feels…hot and taunt…”

“Christ, Colby. I think you might be killing me, baby.”

“Hardly that my love.” Carefully, she tested the weight of his balls before she began to massage them ever so gently…she gripped and tugged and released only to do it all again as he tried to pull in a breath with such force it nearly choked him as he finally sank down into the bed, leaving her to continue to kneel before him.

It was pure instinct that lead her, that told her what to do…instinct and the deep desire to please him as she leaned close and gently kissed the head of his cock, drawing from him yet another gasp that echoed around the room.

“I love the way you smell.” She stayed close to his flesh as she whispered the words to him and he sighed.

“God. That felt so…”

“Good.” Colby fished the thought for him.

“Yes…”

“Maybe this will feel better.”

With that, she wrapped her lips around the head of his cock and instantly flicked her tongue over the damp slit and Justin’s hands went to her hair…she heard him call her name and it served to fuel the fire that burned in him as she sucked hard, drawing him deeper and deeper into the warm, wet heat of her mouth.

She sucked and licked…altered the pace…released him so she could place kiss along the underside of his throbbing shaft before taking him into her mouth again so far that she could feel his springy pubic hair tickling her nose.

It was an odd but delightful sensation, to be able to please him…to taste him…she lost herself in the moment, in the sounds that escaped him as she suckled him harder and faster, until with wild cry, he came in a mighty rush that filled her mouth and spilled like lava down her throat in a glorious rush.

She stayed there, on her knees, with him in her mouth for a long time, until his breath slowly returned to normal and when she looked at him, she was surprised to see tears bright in his eyes as he moved to cup her face in his hands.

“Baby…” He shook his head slowly. “No one has ever done that for me…” He had not thought a woman could…he had not believed a woman could touch him as Colby just had, in such an honest and emotional manner that made him feel move alive than ever as she eased up so he could kiss her soundly.

She tangled her hands in his hair and rose slowly from the floor to press her body to his as he eased back onto the bed and she crawled up to lay beside him, their legs instantly twined together as they kissed…devoured…became so wrapped up in one another it seemed to Colby that they really might become one soul.

“I want you, Justin. I want to make love to you…” She touched his face tenderly as she eased back to find his eyes with hers.

“I want to make love to you, too.”

“Open and honestly? No more hiding?”

Tears in his eyes, his emotions boiling from deep within to run free for the first time in more years than he could recall, he nodded and smiled. “I swear there will be no more hiding, no more shutting you out or pushing you away…”

“That is all I want. All I want is to be close to you. To be allowed to love you.”

“And how much do you love me, Colby.” Carefully, he eased her onto her back so he could loom above her, his weight braced on one elbow as their eyes held.

“I love you with all I am…I love you more than words can say…”

“Do you love me enough to marry me?” His tone was calm as he said it, but all he felt, all that he longed to express, burned in his eyes and she felt her heart catch as she looked up at him while fresh tears rushed to her eyes.

“Are you…are you serious…” It was the question she had always longed to hear, but it had never really occurred to her that she would and Justin could sense her shock as he smiled and nodded and she laughed despite her tears.

“I have never been more serious in all my life.” He touched a finger to the necklace he had placed on her earlier and that she still wore as she lay there, otherwise naked, and so very beautiful it stole his breath. “In the little shop where I found the necklace, I saw a ring that will look stunning on your left hand and I…I want us to go and get it first thing tomorrow.”

“You want to fly back to England first thing tomorrow?”

“You had better believe it, love. Provided that you say yes.”

“God…yes…” She came off the bed, to press herself to him with such force he fell back as he laughed and Colby kissed him even as she cried. “Yes. Yes. Yes. I will marry you…I want, more than you can imagine to marry you…I want to spend the rest if my life with you and I love you…” It occurred to her that she was babbling and she laughed and kissed him again as he rolled her over once more, so she lay on her back as he lounged on top of her, smiling as it occurred to him suddenly that he was crying almost as hard as she was, but for the first time, the tears were testament to joy rather than pain…hope rather than despair.

Still crying, their lips came together in heated desperation…she spread her legs and in an instant, knowing she was ready for him, he eased his once again hard cock into her warm, welcoming cunt and instinctively, Colby arched her back and wrapped her legs around his waist, basking in the feel of being totally at one with him in mind, body, and soul.

“Colby…” His eyes melted into hers. “I have always wanted to see your eyes when we made love and I…” He shook his head and she cupped his face in her hands.

“And I have wanted the same thing, to see your eyes…to see you…”

He pressed his forehead to hers for a moment. “God, I love you so much…you are the best thing in my life…”

“I will love you forever.”

“And I will love you.”

She kissed him hard and long. “I take that to mean you are glad you trusted me?”

Smiling, he looked down at her and nodded. “Damn glad. Trusting you, it gave me a life a never thought I could have.”

“Well, know you know we can have anything together.”

“That I do know.” He felt alive, lodged inside her, as she flexed her hips and he gasped in sensual delight.

“What do you say me begin our new life together by making love.” She ran her hands down his back to grip his bottom, pulling in deeper inside her.

“I believe I like that idea.” His voice was warm and soft and his eyes promised her all she could long for…his life promised her a life filled with passion and love and trust that would last well into eternity.