A Mickey Mouse Club of One

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Disneyland-hater finds a new amusement.
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Editor's Disclaimer: The following story is purely fictional and should be considered parody. All characters and trademarks belong to their respective owners, and nothing within should be taken seriously.

* * * * *

A story of a man finally meeting the lady of his dreams to make a fantasy very likely become the love of his life Disneyland is a wonderful place…the happiest place I have been told. And, it has always driven me nuts. Living just a few miles away for over two decades, one begins to realize that it's not really a happy place, just another way for someone to take as much money from you as possible. And the workers aren't really happy and aren't really cast members. They're just underpaid workers trying to feed their families, make money for college or otherwise perform a function for inadequate compensation.

Of course, my take on Disneyland and all things mouse is definitely in the minority. Whether through childhood programming or something in the water, I have had to listen for years about how it really is a great place and it really is different. In fact, my lone stand against what I consider to be the true evil empire—communism having proven a poor adversary—has made somewhat antagonistic on the subject and I try to defame or embarrass the organization at every turn.

My greatest feat was achieved last weekend however and I think I may eve retire from my posturing. At thirty years old and detesting the amusement park as I do, one might imagine I would turn down and offer to visit the park with a couple who was entertaining friends from out of town. Ashley and Greg have known me for years and have endured my "great Evil" speeches many times. In fact, I am sure Ashley told Greg to ask me as a way of needling me.

Of course, it backfired. I jump at the chance to educate virgins in the ways of Disney's evil. In this case, the virgins were three friends of Ashley's from college who were visiting for a wedding. None had ever been to Disneyland. In a less paranoid moment, it occurred to me that maybe Greg had invited me because all the girls were single like myself. However, it is hard for me to think that anything can be so nice and positive when Disney is involved so the possibility of love was the furthest thing from my mind.

I had pause to reconsider this assessment upon meeting Ashley's friends. In a drunken conversation, I had once admitted to Ashley that I would dearly love to have sex with her and frequently included her in my fantasies. She admitted the feeling were mutual. We had never discussed it again but both smiled in that conspiratorially way, as if, in some way, we had both already cheated on Greg just by saying it.

Two of Ashley's friends, Kendra and Beth, could have passed for Ashley's sisters. Pert breasts that defy both reality and gravity while daring you to challenge their authenticity. Skin that is flawless to the eye, warm to the touch and causes one to lose all high brain functions upon contact. Pure beauty, in other words. The kind that makes one understand how a couple thousand guys really jump into boats and head off to Troy for a decade or so of misery over one woman. I secretly hate Greg, in case you haven't figured it out. He doesn't rank with Disney and I certainly don't have grounds for this dislike. I just really want to fuck his wife and will probably never come to terms with the fact that he gets to.

Strolling through the park with four beautiful girls, I almost forgot my burning hatred for all things mouse. However, a leopard cannot change his spots and I found my ire rearing its head often. The groups seemed to humor me until I snuck up behind Donald Duck and removed his headpiece. With dozens of screaming kids instantly coming to the realization that Donald was, in actuality, a twenty-year-old kid with bad acne, I best a hasty retreat, dumping the head into the nearest bathroom stall.

I returned not to the adulation I so richly deserved but mean comments from most of the group telling me what a horrible thing I had done. Ashley then proceeded to tell me that not everyone was jaded and that I should respect people more. She then said that these people took their jobs seriously and weren't the rejects I made them out to be.

I told her the way she talked, one would think the people who wore these costumes were like saints or those guys who guard the Tower of London; never moving and highly disciplined. She asked me why I found it so hard to believe. I said because it wasn't true. And then she said the magic words; "Prove it."

One of the nice things about being single is the fact that you are earning for one rather than two or three or more. Thus, I have always had the capital to do what I want. And, right now, I had in mind to use that capital quite creatively.

For years, Greg has bothered me to help him with his business. I, of course, never have because I'm pissed he gets to sleep with his wife. In truth, the only thing stopping his graphics design business from growing is access to capital. Instead, he and Ashley barely squeak by and she has had to put off having children for a long time.

"Ashley, I am going to prove that the hero of everyone who loves Disney is a sick depraved individual just like anyone else," I said. She laughed and said it would be pretty hard to embarrass a fictional character. Why, I said. The park is built on fiction and everyone seems willing to believe it.

She then told me to explain. I then whispered in her ear my proposal. I wanted her to give Mickey Mouse a blowjob for which I would compensate her $100,000 upon successful completion. The initial reaction was, of course, anger. She was so pissed I figured that that would be the end. Instead, she told me that I wouldn't pay up. In response, I said that I would not only pay up but that I would gladly write out a promissory note on my house right on the spot.

"For a stupid bet, you'd give me a hundred grand just to win a stupid bet," she said. Everyone else was shocked. Having now heard one side of the bet, they were dying to know what the dare was. Greg asked her but she just shook her head and told him to wait. Finally, she asked Greg if he trusted he. He said of course. Then, she said that he had to trust her and she was going to do something for their family.

I smiled, especially when Greg looked at me trying to figure out what I possibly could be asking his wife to do. She told Greg to head for the Pirates of the Caribbean and that we would meet them there in a little while. After some prompting, she left.

"Okay, I'll call," she said. "Now how are we going to find Mickey in all this mess."

Luckily, the eagerness to please that is Disney would be their undoing. I simply walked up to the nearest security person (hoping they didn't have a good description of the duck assailant) and told them I needed a picture of Mickey for my nephews back home. A short call on the radio was all it took to discover Mickey was in Tomorrow Land near the old submarine ride that the bastards had closed down years ago.

I grabbed Ashley's hand and we jogged to Mickey's last known location.

"What am I supposed to do," Ashley said.

"Well, I'm not an expert cocksucker but I am pretty sure that what you do is make your mouth into an O…" I started sarcastically.

"You know what I mean," she snarled. "How are we going to do it."

"When we find Mickey, you will walk straight up to him and tell him that you want to suck his cock. Tell him that we're married and I have to watch because it's a huge fantasy for both us. I am sure he'll take care of the rest." "What if he says no," she asked.

"Then you don't get $100,000," I said. The greed in her eyes sparkled and I knew I was moments away from seeing her face covered with come. "By the way, I expect him to come and I want you to let him do so all over your face."

"Whatever," she said. "As long as you won't welch on the money.

"I promise."

A few minutes later, we found a very cheery Mickey posing with a Japanese family. I suppressed my anger, held Ashley's hand and we approached Mickey. Unfortunately, Ashley froze.

"Hello," said the mouse and damn if he didn't sound just like him. "Can I help you?"

Ashley stood motionless and silent.

"Would you like me to ask for you," I said, looking at her.

After a moment, she nodded. I smiled, and I am pretty sure the smile gave her absolutely no comfort.

Then, I leaned over and whispered into Mickey's neck (his ears being fake of course), "My wife and I have a fantasy of her giving a blowjob to Mickey. If you are game, she would love to give you a blowjob while you are in costume. Do you think there's a quiet place where we could do this?"

I didn't ask him whether he wanted to, only if there was a place where we could. It's always important in negotiations to get someone to say yes to something. It doesn't have to be what you want but that yes usually leads to success since it puts them in the mode of saying yes.

I don't think my training at Wharton Business School was necessary in this case because what came back was a "Fucking A can I find a place. Are you serious?"

"Only if you stay in character," I said.

"Righteo," said the mouse. "Follow me little girl. Mickey has a big surprise for you."

And, with that, he headed off for a door leading into the old submarine ride opened it and waited for us to enter with him. While one always knows that everything is just a façade, it is still a shock to see what Disneyland looks behind the scenes.

"Is this okay," Mickey said.

"How about on one of the submarines," I said. "Can we get on one of them?"

"Whatever floats your boat," Mickey said, laughing at his joke and he headed to where the submarines were kept. Minutes later, an obviously excited mouse, a frightened Ashley and I were all standing in a submarine lit only by the sunlit water spilling through the hundred of windows. It was absolutely quiet.

"Is this okay," said Mickey in a cheerful voice. I'd be cheerful too if I was him, I thought.

"Perfect," I said.

"What now," Mickey asked.

Unfortunately, Ashley was taking a while to recover from all this and she didn't seem to be able to function without prompting. So, I looked her in the eyes and gave her explicit instructions, "I want you to go over there, get on your knees, tell Mickey you want his cock and suck it till he comes on your face. Do you understand?"

She nodded and walked in a dreamlike state to where Mickey was. Then, one knee at a time, she knelt in front of him. "I want your cock, please," she said.

"Oh boy! Oh boy," Mickey said as he wrestled with the snaps holding the top and bottom half of the outfit together. In moments, some very ordinary short-covered legs emerged. Just as quickly, the shorts dropped from the legs, revealing a very aroused and quite substantial cock. I don't know what was more exciting to me; watching Mickey doing it or watching Ashley in action. Both were exciting in their own way.

Mickey, as it turned out was not a gentle lover but he did have stamina. Once Ashley had taken the first few tentative sucks, Mickey obviously became impatient. He grabbed her hair and said "Mickey wants you to suck it little girl so be a good little girl and do what Mickey says."

Then he grabbed her hair and started face fucking her. It was hard to tell how hard she was fighting this treatment. She seemed to be in too much shock to protest too much. Of course, another part of me wants to believe that she actually liked it. However, either way, Mickey succeeded in having his way with her.

"Mickey loves it when you're a good little slut," Mickey said. I almost died in hysterics. The scene was almost too much to take. The humiliation of the girl I couldn't have, the revealing of how hollow Disney's goodness really was, and, best of all the fact that I was going to…No, best not to think about that I said, moving to get a better angle.

There was a point when I almost interceded because Mickey was becoming quite violent. His gloved hands were awkwardly holding her head and pulling it into him as he thrust his cock into her. Finally, he withdrew as he prepared to finish. Sensing this, Ashley moved her hand off to jack him off and finish the humiliating experience.

I am pretty sure Mickey hadn't been getting any from Minnie in a while because he deposited a sizable amount of semen all over Ashley's face. I hadn't accounted for just how much and was surprised when it began dripping down her shirt. I remember wondering at the time how she was going to explain the huge white stain on her blue shirt when we met back up with Greg and the girls. However, it was time to end this deal and get out of here while the getting was still good.

A few moments later, Ashley and I were back in the park proper. Unfortunately, Ashley had done little to clean herself up. If the headless Donald had upset the kids, you should have seen the expression of the adults viewing a come-covered women in this place. Out of pity, I helped find her a bathroom. When Ashley exited, she seemed to have overcome her shock.

"When do I get the money," she asked.

"Right now, if you want, I guess," I said. With that, I called my broker Alex and asked him to make a cashier's check out to Ashley in the amount of $100,000.00. I then put Ashley on the phone with Alex. Since he was a mutual friend, I knew this would allay any concerns. Besides, I loved the idea that I had involved yet another person in this humiliating adventure. Ashley sighed loudly and we began walking to the Pirates of the Caribbean.

"You won't tell Greg, will you," Ashley said, almost pleading.

"Of course I will," I said.

"You bastard," she said. "That wasn't part of the deal."

"I never promised that I wouldn't," I pointed out. "So I am under no obligation not to tell him."

We walked along in silence for a few minutes.

"Okay," she said. "Name your price."

"Oh I think you know my price," I said.

"A blowjob," she asked.

"Oh, I think you know I want a heck of a lot more than a blowjob," I said.

"Fine but you don't tell him a word," she said.

I grabbed her and held her for a second. Then I put my hand down her shorts, so quickly that she failed to stop me before I reached a surprising moist pussy. "That's fine," I said, as long as you leave Greg for a weekend and let me use you like a slut."

"Fine," she said through gritted teeth.

As we walked back, I am sure she still felt like she got the better deal. Good to his word, Greg never questioned what the bet was. As agreed, neither of us ever told him. We both intimated it had something to do with stealing something and Greg seemed to let his mind wander in that direction.

I almost felt sorry for him, especially a month later when I used his wife like I have always dreamed I would. Still, even then, I am sure she figured she got off cheap, taking a hundred grand from me for a few hours work. In fact, as she left the hotel room, she told me that I was a shitty lover and she had enjoyed using me to get what she wanted. I didn't believe her, of course.

Still, I then almost felt sorry for Ashley enough to tell her the truth. While it was true I gave her a $100,000, it didn't cost me a thing. Years ago, a friend had talked about a video tape showing Minnie Mouse on the toilet. The tape had been secretly taken by an employee. Before being widely distributed, Disney officials offered substantial amount of money to recover the tape and safeguard the image of Disney.

In the end, Disney paid just over $400,000 to recover Mickey's Underwater Adventure, as I came to think of it. I almost felt guilty. Of course, it's important to be honest with one's self. I probably won't feel guilty when I show Ashley the tapes from our sex romp weekend and make her my regular slut, either. I guess my grade school teachers were right when they said I was incorrigible.

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