A Middle Pt. 01

To all the sweet boys past and present, whose thoughts and feelings are combined in the narrator, and whose stories and secrets will always stay safe with me.

*****

...and I looked around the hotel room to make sure everything was perfect. My Mistress-whom i call Mommy for reasons all my own-had given me an assignment, and i was determined to follow the guidelines to the letter. I perched on the edge of the bed to wait, but it wasn't long until i heard a knock at the door.

I had to control my urge to rush to the door, but i did as instructed and slid the key card under the door, then assumed the "waiting" position facing the door, on my knees, legs in a v-shape, one hand lightly cupping my balls, the other lifting my cock up as an offering-slight though it was-to my Mistress.

My head bowed, i waited, and it was only a minute or so before the door opened, and there She was, bright and awake and alive, and it was as if i'd come out of deep shade into the sunlight. I could actually feel my body suffuse with warmth, and my cock begin to harden in my hand. I peeked up quickly to see Her; She was accompanied by a man, tall and broad in jeans and a leather jacket, laughing and talking easily with Her the way i knew i never could. The fact that they were fully clothed made me feel even more naked, if that were possible, kneeling there on the floor, my collar around my neck.

I quickly looked back down and found myself staring at Her shoes-high-heeled sexy shoes, with little peep toes showing Her stocking-encased toes. My mouth began to water, and I swallowed hard against an instant craving.

They didn't speak to me as they came in, but i stayed where i was, obedient and true, until i saw Her feet stop in front of me, and felt Her hand on my head. She rubbed my head for a moment, and allowed me to rest it against Her leg, then She moved away. I saw Her sit on the edge of the bed, and then i heard Her pat her leg and say "Come here, boy" and i went willingly to Her side. The man went into the bathroom and i heard the shower start, and then i forgot him as the power of Her presence swamped me with sensation.

As my head rested on Her lap, i began to enter what She calls "sub space," that euphoric, shadowed place where submission is so logical, so inimical to my being that i can't imagine being happy anywhere else. I slid in effortlessly, like sliding into a bathtub full of warm water, feeling comforted and safe, secure and very very submissive, desiring only to be in Her presence, in Her service, truly at Her feet.

Her hand continued to stroke my head, and i became bold enough to open my eyes and look up at Her and ask, "Mommy, may i please..." then my courage faltered, and my whisper trailed off.

She scraped Her nails lightly over the back of my head, and i shivered as She reminded me, "Ask for what you desire, sub" and the reprimand, earned though it was, stung me into finishing.

"Mommy, may i worship Your feet?" i managed, and Her approving stroke and push toward Her feet was enough. I scrambled down to Her beautiful feet, and sighed as i looked at them encased in black stockings and tucked into the 5-inch satin peep-toe heels.

I knelt there, then bent my head to stroke Her leg with my cheek, loving the feeling of the sheer stocking against my skin. I'd shaved closely, of course, in preparation for being with Her, but even so, my beard rasped against the stocking, and i stopped, worried i would snag the delicate fabric.

There were other delights for me, of course, so i slid down to crouch at Her feet, taking in a breath as i looked closely at Her lovely feet. The shoes were new, the satin black and glossy, the bows at the toes pert and crisp. Her toenails were painted a dark rich red, and the view of those i could see through the hole at the toe of the shoes tantalized while it tempted. i bent forward to kiss and lick delicately at the toes I could see, my tongue tracing the edge of the peep and dipping in between Her beautiful toes.

With a shaking hand, i slid the left shoe off Her foot, placing it carefully on the floor while cupping Her foot in my left hand, then turning back to Her beautiful and delicate foot. With my trembling fingertip, i traced the high arch, then running it down the top of her foot, finishing the impromptu massage by caressing the ball of her foot with my palm. I placed delicate kisses on the top, then kissed each toe on the beautiful red nail, delighting in the tiny silver ring on Her second toe, knowing She had thought of me when She placed it there. My cock throbbed, hard and heavy, at the thought.

My mouth would not be denied, however, and i just had to suckle at least one toe before i had to stop. I lifted Her foot to my mouth and delicately sucked Her toe into my mouth, loving the slightly musky whiff of the leather insole of the shoe, and the indescribable scent of Her. The suckling calmed me, as always, and i was simply enjoying the sensation when i felt Her other foot come to rest on my thigh, inches from my little cock. I gasped as Her foot nudged my ball sac, then bumped deliberately against my little cock. For a moment, i was lightheaded, but then pleasure swamped me and i rested my head against the foot in my hand, closing my eyes at the sensation of my Mistress fondling my cock with Her foot.

I had come so far in my journey, my exploration of my submission, from a tightly repressed and unhappy man, unable to be satisfied sexually with anyone, going through the motions with my wife-whom I love dearly-and everyone else, unable to think of anything else but the submissive cravings that consumed and tormented me, disappointing myself and everyone in my life. My head was so full of dark needs and fantasies that i shared with no one, sure that i, alone, was this conflicted, the light and shadows of my world so polarized. I was so strong and confident in my world of work, home, and church; how could i rationalize the desires i had with that reality?

And then i stumbled upon Her.

And now here i was, still a loving husband and father, but more able to open up and give my wife what she needed, able to concentrate on my work and excel, understanding that my need for sexual submission and my desire to worship my Mistress might not be typical, but they were hardly unique. And my secrets... It was so easy to tell Her my dreams and fantasies, and know She would hold them for me, without fear of judgment or reprisal or disclosure. And here with Her, both halves of my world were accepted and understood. Here, i felt whole.

I shuddered as She pressed hard with Her foot, the hard edge of the sole of Her shoe pushing my little cock into my groin, then releasing it. I looked down to see the head of my cock resting on Her toes, the black of her stocking stark against the pale skin of my penis. Had i not been trained to ejaculate only upon Her command, i would have spurted my cum all over her foot; as it was, i throbbed harder at the edge of orgasm for a few seconds.

Then She moved Her foot and patted Her thigh, and i moved up to rest my head in Her lap again. She let me recover there for a minute, breathing in Her scent, while She stroked my head and spoke to me. Her hand fondled the tag on my collar, the one that read "________" (her pet name for me), and the little musical jingle it made sent little tingles up my spine, like always.

After a few minutes, She bent Her head low near mine, and asked me, "Do you have any secrets for Me today, sweet boy?" and the dark shivers started low in my stomach. I nodded against Her leg, and She bent her head lower. "Yes?" she prodded, and i thought for a moment, shuffling through all my deep, dark, perverted cravings and desires, and pulled out my darkest to proffer to Her. I raised my head and put my lips so close to that perfect ear, then gave Her my secret. As i spoke to Her, i could feel Her soft hand caressing my head, could smell Her fresh perfume, could almost taste Her power as i gave up my perversion to Her. As always, the release of that rich darkness lightened my soul and hardened my cock, and i knew She heard me without judgment. I felt no shame or guilt, only pleasure.

She continued to pet me as i finished, while She placed Her lips beside my ear, crooning, "Good boy" over and over to me. Then She asked me, as always, "Who are you?" and i answered Her, as always, "Your dirty boy, Mommy...your dirty little perverted boy," and felt a thrill run through me as She patted my head and murmured, "Yes."

We stayed there for what felt like hours, my little cock heavy and hard and throbbing, then i heard the man come out of the bathroom and saw his bare feet stop beside us. She spoke to him, Her words soft and low, and then She raised my head up with Her fingertips under my chin and looked at me, Her beautiful eyes locked onto mine. We stayed like that for a moment, then She said, "Open, sweet boy," and i opened my mouth wide and turned to the man, ready to take his cock in my willing mouth.