A Misdirection of Affection Ch. 03

"You don't think we can get away with pretending you're a boy in that dress, do you? We'd never make it past the front desk!"

"Well, maybe you could say your cousin is a cross-dresser!"

Ian smirked and looked into Dessi's eyes. "Short hair or no, in that dress, you look all woman. Now go take it off."

Making some remark about not knowing he was in such a hurry to get her clothes off, Dessi shuffled out of the car and into the coffee shop. She returned a few minutes later, dress in her arms, dressed like a boy.

"Happy now?" she teased.

"Happy to see you, yes."

They drove back to the dorm, Dessi shifting in her seat in anticipation.

*******

Back at the dorm, as Ian unbuttoned his shirt, he looked at Dessi sitting at his desk and said, "I'd suggest you sleep on my roommate's bed, since he's gone for the summer, but I'm guessing that's not the sleeping arrangements you have in mind."

Dessi smiled and moved over to the bed. "You'd be right. Though we might have to do some rearranging- one bed isn't going to fit us very well, especially when you start rolling in your sleep."

"Well, I may roll, but you're the kung-fu queen. You actually bruised my shins during our naps last summer."

Dessi stuck her tongue out at Ian, then threw a pillow at him. Ian deflected the pillow and sighed as he started moving the beds next to each other.

"You don't have anything you need to do tomorrow?" Dessi asked.

"No. I was just going to hang out with the guys in the evening. We all have papers to write for classes this month, so that's what we do during the weekend daytime."

"Well, maybe I should have you go spend time with Patrick in the morning, then when you come back all horny I can give you some relief."

Ian laughed, but then got a little more serious. "Dessi, let's leave everyone else out of this. I just...I want to do this for you."

Feigning innocence, Dessi said, "Do what, Ian?"

Now it was Ian's turn to throw a pillow. Dessi said more seriously, "Isn't it even a little bit for you, too?"

Ian shrugged, "I won't deny that it's nice to get some release, and I like being close to you. But I think the most enjoyable part is knowing I can make you a little bit happy. I know how important this is to you. I'm worried that won't be enough in the long run- for either of us- but I'm OK not thinking about that tonight."

"Good. Good enough. Now finishing taking off those clothes and let me enjoy that sexy body of yours. I like what college is doing to you!"

Not waiting for Ian to comply, Dessi climbed towards Ian and began pulling down his pants as he stood next to the bed. He helped finish that task, and Dessi began rubbing her hands all around his chest and abs. He was definitely getting toned.

Pulling his cock out through the front of his boxers, she took him in her mouth and began bobbing. Ian was soft, but he moaned at the contact. As he hardened in her mouth, he put one hand on the back of her head, gently guiding her ministrations. She pulled away for a second, looked up at Ian's face, and asked, "Does the short hair help? Can you pretend I'm a guy?"

"I...I don't know. It's hard to forget that it's you, Dessi..."

"Well I'll stop talking and you can try to picture whatever...whomever...you want when you close your eyes."

Dessi got back to work, bringing Ian to full stiffness. She then wiggled him around to get his boxers off and guided him onto the bed.

*******

Remembering that night, more than 18 years later, lying on her bed, Dessi slipped a hand into her shorts and began to rub herself. She glanced at the bedroom door to make sure it was locked. No one was home, but no sense in taking chances, right? She began to slowly move her hips around, remembering the feeling of Ian rolling on top of her that night.

*******

Dessi pulled off the uncomfortable boy clothes she had been forced to wear. She hadn't bothered to put on panties when she had changed out of her dress earlier, so she was soon naked on the bed next to Ian. He looked up and down her body and slowly moved one hand up and down his cock to keep it firm. "Do I need to...do you need to do anything to...get ready?"

"Ian, usually a girl needs some help getting wet enough to take a guy, but I've been ready for this for a long time. Lie on your back, I'll get on top to start so we can be sure you actually get inside this time." It was a joke, but neither of them laughed.

Ian stretched out and held his penis up. "Do you need me to...hold it or anything?" he asked. Dessi straddled him and reached between her legs to take hold of his warm shaft. "No, I got it," she whispered. Then settling his tip into her entrance, Dessi sank down until she had taken him all the way in. They both moaned- Ian from the completely novel and pleasant sensation of having his cock wrapped in a tight, warm hole.

Dessi moaned from the satisfaction of finally feeling Ian inside her. That it had been about 2 years since she had had sex made the sensation all the more fulfilling. She had almost forgotten the joy of having her tunnel stuffed with a warm, pulsing fullness. The feel of a hard body rubbing against hers. She knew she would cum, hopefully before Ian did.

Ian's eyes were closed and his mouth was wide open, silently gasping at the feeling of Dessi moving up and down on him. He didn't know where to put his hands. At first he rested them on her thighs, then he moved up to her hips and shared in the rhythm of her motion. Then he moved his hands up to her breasts. Though he didn't feel any particular fascination with that part of a woman's body, he knew she wanted to be touched there. When his fingers reached her nipples, which were hardened to little points, Dessi squeaked and pushed harder down on him.

Ian found that concentrating on touching Dessi distracted him from the almost overwhelming urge to thrust and cum as quickly as possible. So he rubbed all along her body- her arms, her thighs, her back, when she leaned over to lie on top of him. It wasn't but a few minutes before Dessi's breathing got erratic and mixed with groans. She was on top of him, rubbing their chests together. Her hips started grinding faster and her arms closed around him, squeezing him. Dessi kept her face on Ian's chest, her cheek resting on his pectorals. She wanted to kiss him, but she was worried she would ruin the experience for him. Plus, their height difference would have made it impossible for her to reach his lips without pulling off of him, and there was no way she was doing that now.

Ian moved one hand down to her butt cheeks, which were clenching and releasing as she sped up her thrusts. She was so small that one of Ian's hands could cup both cheeks. When he did so, she moaned and started gasping. Ian's other hand wrapped around her back and rested on her spine.

Dessi's motions became urgent, and her high-pitched grunts were unmistakable- if anyone had passed by Ian's door, there would have been no doubt that his visitor was not who she pretended to be. Pressing her body closer to Ian's, Dessi slowed down her thrusts but made them firmer and longer, rubbing her clit along Ian's shaft.

"MMM! NNN! MMMff!! Ohh God, Ohhh God. Ian! Ian!! I'm so close Ian! Nnnngh!"

Feeling her small body moving furiously on top of his, Ian simply held her close and felt a surge of love for his friend. Staring at the ceiling, he said softly, "I love you, Dessi. I love you in every way I know how."

That was all it took to push Dessi over the edge. She had cum before from sex. She usually had some sort of orgasm with her partners. But she had never experienced one such as this, where her emotions and her body collided and shook her to the core. Pushing Ian in as deep into herself as she could, Dessi cried out in joy and even a little terror at how strongly she felt everything. She put her mouth in Ian's chest to muffle the noise.

Ian wasn't expecting to feel her walls squeezing his shaft when she came. But everything was suddenly tighter. He felt her whole body shaking and jerking every few seconds. He moved his hand from her back to her head and gently stroked her short hair. Dessi's arms squeezed him tighter and her thighs clenched around his legs.

Dessi was feeling weakened from her orgasm, which was still making her tremble and shiver on top of Ian. She didn't realize how close he was, and Ian himself was surprised by the urgency he was feeling. Even as Dessi came, Ian was starting to thrust his hips up at her, gently but insistently. As soon as he could tell that she was finished, Ian rolled them over without warning. The act of rolling caused them to disconnect for a second, but as soon as Ian was in place on top of her, he used his hips to find her slit, and then pushed in, violently.

Though Ian wasn't the tallest guy Dessi had been with, the difference between them was substantial enough that, in this position, her head was at the level of his chest. So with Ian on top, beginning to thrust into her, Dessi turned her face to the side so she could breathe. Ian's head and shoulders were on his pillow, which was odd. He felt like he was fucking the bed, since he couldn't see Dessi.

He moved his hands so that they were under Dessi, holding her shoulders so that his thrusts went as deep as he could go. Ian felt his cum rising. His thoughts were a mixture of Dessi, Patrick, and faceless, nameless guys from his imagination. He could barely hear Dessi's squeaks below him, muffled as they were by his body on top of hers. He only hoped he wasn't hurting her, but at that point he was too far gone. She was saying his name. "Ian?...Ian?...Ian!!"

Pulling out to just his tip, Ian thrust back in hard. After a dozen or so thrusts, he just pushed deep and felt his release. Dessi's eyes went wide as Ian came inside her. She had planned to be on top or beside him, somewhere in a position to make him pull out. She had tried to get his attention to warn him, but he was like a man possessed.

She wasn't protected and wouldn't consider wearing a condom with Ian. Feeling his pulsing inside her, Dessi resolved not to worry about it. Worst case scenario, she would have a permanent bond with Ian, something to ensure he would always be in her life. For the moment, she would enjoy the feeling of his ultimate satisfaction- the release that she had given him.

Ian stayed on top her her for a few minutes, letting his breath return to normal. Only when Dessi tapped his chest with her hand and asked to be let up did he come to his senses and roll to his side. They stayed like that- side by side in bed- until Dessi broke the silence with a question, "Well, what did you think?"

Ian took her hand in his and said, "Well, there's something really awesome about it. But Dessi, I don't want to hurt your feelings when I say that it just doesn't feel right to me."

"I know Ian, but it's not, like, repulsive or anything, is it?"

Ian thought about that, staring at the ceiling, and finally said, "No, not repulsive, just...off. Like something's missing."

"Maybe I should strap something on my front to look like a penis, huh?"

Ian laughed, though she hadn't been entirely joking.

"I'm tired, Dessi. That took a lot out of me. If you go to the bathroom, remember to put boy clothes on first. It's halfway down the hall, you can't miss it." It wasn't the most romantic ending to their love-making- Dessi putting on shorts and a shirt to go out into the common bathroom- but since she knew it would end up with her in bed next to her lover, she didn't mind.

Slipping back under the covers, Dessi found Ian fast asleep. She cuddled her way under his arm and joined him in happy slumber.

Early the next morning, they made love again. Slower, less urgent. They spooned, which Ian said made it look like he was with a man, which helped that "something missing" that he had talked about. That time, Dessi didn't even think about it- Ian came inside her, gripping her whole body in his arms and pulling her against him. She couldn't have moved off of him if she had wanted to. She realized it would be cruel to deny him that pleasure, anyway, and she delighted in the feel of his cum filling her.

That Saturday, they walked around campus, watched a movie, and talked about their families and their futures. Ian never set up for his friends to meet Dessi, though they did bump into Patrick at lunch. Fortunately, he was on his way in while they were heading out. He gave Dessi and Ian a funny look, but didn't ask any questions. He and Ian arranged to meet at the pool later that day.

When they had some privacy to talk while walking, Dessi asked about the possibility of them being together as a nontraditional couple. "I don't know if you'll ever want me the way I want you, but sex isn't everything in a relationship, Ian. We have everything else, don't we?"

"You're right, Dessi. I care about you, and I do love you. I even want to want you in that way. It would be so much easier if I did. Sex is only a part of who we are, it's not what has to define us, but still..."

"So how about it? We could be together- I could even move up here and find a job. We'd be best friends, we could have sex to keep me happy and to give you some release. I...I might even be OK with you...you know...trying sex with a guy. I don't know. We could figure it out."

"You mean like I live some double life?"

"No, just...we love each other, and we're together, but you have these needs that I can't meet, so...we get creative."

"That's...different. But tempting. I'll...think about it, OK? We can talk more when I get home in July."

That was more than she had expected. An "I'll think about it" was a step in a good direction. Later that afternoon, Dessi packed up and headed home, never to see Ian again.

*******

Thinking back on that weekend while she rubbed her clit, Dessi brought herself to three small orgasms. She smiled to think what her husband was going to experience that night. She washed up and put some of the pictures in a zippered bag for Gina, pausing to look at the last photo of Ian she had. He was wearing shorts and a white t-shirt, his gym bag in hand, leaning against the trunk of his car and smiling at the camera. He was on his way to meet Patrick at the pool as Dessi was leaving to go home. He had promised to be back home in July and said that they would see each other a lot that month. But a few weeks after her visit, he and Patrick and another guy from their team died in a car accident. No one even knew to tell Dessi- his family didn't think to contact her. When he didn't answer her emails, she visited his house in July. His mother answered the door and talked almost like a robot.

Dessi remembered the shock and grief of that time. She was lost, adrift at sea. She was afraid she would go back to a different life, a different Dessi. She had ended up at a church, which was where she eventually met Rick. He had been patient, kind, affectionate...she hadn't been ready to talk about Ian, and Rick had never asked. But it might be time to tell that story.

*******

After dinner with her family, Dessi was picking up plates for Rick to wash when the doorbell rang. Grabbing the bag of pictures, she met Gina at the door. Dessi invited her in, but Gina said, "Maybe next time, I don't want to lose too much daylight on my drive."

The two women chatted on the doorstep for a minute. Alex pulled in the driveway, back from work. He walked in the house and Dessi stopped him. "Alex, this is my friend Gina." Alex said hello then went inside as Dessi told him where to find his dinner. As they watched the boy go in the house, Gina commented, "Well he certainly doesn't get his height from you. Is your husband tall?"

Dessi quickly turned her head and looked at Gina, who was smiling. Dessi's eyes softened, then she pulled the door closed. Indicating that they should walk to the car together, Dessi put her hand on Gina's elbow.

"Gina...I debated not telling you, but I feel like I have to. I'm hoping you'll come back to visit, and we'll have to talk more before then. You should know- Alex...my son...he's Ian's."

Having just gotten to the car, Gina put her hand on it and leaned against it. It was like the wind had been knocked out of her.

"Dessi, I didn't...are you sure?"

"Positive. It happened a week before Ian died. I wasn't with another man until I got married, almost three years later. He was an accident, of course, but I couldn't just...you understand."

Gina silently nodded, still shocked. "Does he know?"

"He knows Rick isn't his biological father. He was 2 when Rick and I married. I had started going to church after Alex was born, mostly because they had free child care and I needed the break. I met Rick there, and he didn't need to know about my past- has was...is...so kind and gracious. He's the only dad Alex has ever known. I've never told Rick about Ian and I've never told Alex either. At first it hurt too much, then I was embarrassed. And your parents didn't..."

"I know Dessi. They weren't the warmest people after they lost Ian."

"And then, it just became...the past. But meeting you yesterday...it seems like it's time to tell that story. Eventually, I'd like to see your parents and introduce Alex."

"We'll talk Dessi, we'll talk. Maybe next time I can bring my little brood with me- when you're ready, of course. I...I want us to be a part of Alex's life...and your life! But you're going to have to talk to Rick and Alex first."

"Yeah, I know. He's a good man, but it will be hard. I just don't know where to begin."

"Well, Dessi, the best advice I got about that was to go home, give him the ride of his life, and then talk about what's on your mind."

Dessi giggled, and Gina joined in until both women were laughing next to the car. As laughter resolved into smiles, Gina got in her car and looked longingly at the house. "This has been a good weekend, Dessi. Thank you so much for sharing with me."

Through the open window of the car, Dessi leaned in, touched Gina's cheek with the backs of her fingers, and said, "I'm so glad we could talk, Gina. We always need more stars to fight the darkness, right?"

That concludes A Misdirection of Affection. I appreciate your votes and your feedback. After a short break from writing, I'm planning to tell the story of Gareth and Gina's relationship from her college days, told from Gareth's perspective.