A Modern Day Fairy Tale

Once upon a time in a land not that far away, lived a Man named Puck McDougall. Puck had long hair coming out of his ears. It was so long he could braid it. His teeth were not teeth, but full blown fangs.

He lived under the Raven Bridge; it was an old covered wooden bridge... The dirt under the bridge was as black as the darkest night. He lived in a small one room shack with his wife Paddyscarey. Paddyscarey was uglier than Puck. She had purple spiked hair, her eyes were crossed and she had a very large bump on the end of her pig nose.

It was a marriage of convenience, Puck was mean to anyone who lived on the east side of the bridge in the hamlet of Fern. He tolerated the west side town's people in the hamlet of Gen.

The town folks of both hamlets got along well. Oh there was some dislike from some, but not like what Puck felt for the Fern's.

In the Hamlet of Fern lived bankers, lawyers, doctors and such. In the Hamlet of Gens, lived people who were more into working the lands, farmers, millwrights and such. So Fern and Gen had a wonderful relationship. They relied on each. Sometimes they would have a yearly gathering on the banks of the Raven River to celebrate their joint hamlets.

Puck hated that time of year. There was too much noise, fireworks, people running back and forth constantly. He would sit under the bridge in his shack and grumble to Paddyscarey. She would just giggle and say "Well we could move dear!" But she knew he wouldn't do such a thing.

"I was born under this bridge, and here is where I am going to die Paddy!"

He would grumble and then grab a couple of his sling shots, his pouch of good sizes stones he had collected for the past year. He would sneak up into the clump of trees and climb a tree. He would than go about shooting rocks at the people coming from Fern.

"I hate Ferners!" He would mutter as he pulled back the elastic and plucked another Ferner!

Constable Wayne knew it was Puck but he could never find him. And he would never find the slings shots either since he couldn't prove it was Puke. Puke knew the woods as well as anyone; He had hunted them since he was a wee little troll.

Pukes father had been the bridge maintenance guy for years. Everyone loved Martin McDougall. If anyone ever needed a hand "Old Mac "as he was called was there to help out. Puck was his only child and he named him after Shakespeare's character "Puck.

One day "Old Mac had gone off to Fern and never came back. Some say he was killed, some say he started another family.

Puke felt abandoned and bitter. He was never all that well liked in Fern, as he didn't like the bigger city. All that glass and concrete, not many trees to swing from. And those he did swing on, he was chased from by the law... He even got sent to jail once for this. Ever since then had a deep hatred for the Ferners.

So here he sat with Paddyscarey under that old wooden covered bridge. They could hear the traffic doing over the bridge. Paddyscarey had an old style point and shoot camera. It would take the photo and have the picture in a few moments. She figured that this why they would know all the Ferns and the Gens. Puke allowed her this one sin, as he hated modern technology

One midsummer night Puke was out collecting stones for his pouch. He saw one the Gens boys rushing across the bridge to the Fern side. He couldn't be more than ten or twelve.

"Now what in tarnation is a young Gen boy doing out this time of night?" He wondered.

It wasn't more than a half an hour when Puck heard car engines coming his way.

"That's it I have just about had enough of the Ferners and their corruptive ways. First polluted the Gens with Electricity, than it was TV's and other sins. Now they are invading us with their pollution makers. I am stopping this right now" He told Paddyscarey.

He took two boards and nailed them to the Fern side bridge opening. And he stood there just inside, enough so that they could see him. Two or three fire engines came around the corner and stopped when they saw the Raven Bridge was blocked. A couple of the fire fighters got out of the truck along with the Gen boy.

"Mr. McDougall, we have to get through; there is a barn fire at the Clark farm!" The Fire Captain said.

"I ain't believin' anything you Ferners are saying, you just want to get in here and turn Gen into your den of sins!" Puke yelled out to them.

"Please Mr. Puck my family barn was on fire and when I left it was spreading to the house and our crops!" Tommy Clark boy said.

"Boy, I am thinking they have corrupted your soul with promises of some new fangled device, didn't they? " Puck said.

"No Sir, my family's land is in danger of burning along with the rest of Gen, if the fire isn't put out.

"LIAR!" Puck Yelled.

He took out his sling shot and took to shooting stones at the firefighters and Tommy Clark,

The Fire Captain decided it wasn't worth anyone getting injured, and told everyone to get back into the trucks.

"Mr. McDougall, I will only give you one more warning to remove those boards and let us pass!"

Puck just shook his fist in the direction of the fire trucks.

The captain gave the orders and the Fire trucks started up and backed up a little.

Puck did a little dance on in front of the bridge. But it was short lived as the Fire Engines gathered up speed and headed toward the bridge.

Puck jumped into the River and scraped his knee and forehead as he did.

The Fire Engines crashed through the boards and rushed over the bridge.

Paddyscarey was half asleep in her chair. The thudding of the two Fire Engines scared her and she hid under the table.

It wasn't long and the Fire Engines were at the Clark Farm and hosed down the house, but it was too late for the barn and some of the surrounding gardens. But with the help of the Gens using a bucket brigade and the Fern fire fighters the fire was soon out.

The Clark's shivered in their PJ's, some of the neighbor's brought blankets and hot coffee.

Mr. Clark was furious when Tommy and the fire fighters told him of Puck's actions.

"I will talk to Mayor Mitchell tomorrow.

The next morning over coffee and donuts at Bricker's, Mr. Clark told Mayor Mitchell what had gone on.

"Well John!" Mayor Mitchell said. 'This isn't the first complaint about Puck McDougall I have heard. He harasses almost everyone he comes in contact with. Some store keepers don't want to wait on him because he complains about prices and what not...

"What can we do Mayor?" John Clark asked.

"Well, let me and the town council discuss this and maybe we can find a solution." Mayor Mitchell said.

"It's a start I guess!" Mr. Clark said with a sigh.

So Mayor Mitchell sat with the town council and they came up with a couple of solutions.

Solution one was offering to relocate Puke and Paddyscarey anywhere in the woods they wanted, and build them a brand cabin. The second was to relocate the bridge further up the river. But this would take approval of the Fern town council as well.

So the Mayor and a couple of town councilmen went to talk to Puck with their offer, to which he spat on the floor next to the Mayors freshly polished and shiny shoes.

"We ain't moving, are we Paddy?" He said.

Paddyscarey nodded in agreement. She agreed with everything Puck said, even if she knew it was wrong. Which was most of the time?

"Nope not budging, your Honor!"

"Okay but think it over for awhile and if you change your mind Puke, come see us!"

"I ain't budging and that is final!" Puke growled.

So Mayor Mitchell met with Mayor Daniels of Fern and brought up the subject. Daniels nodded as listened.

"We here of Fern, have been talking about this for some time as well. Daniels said as he rested his hands on his belly in a clasped manner.

"What do you propose?" He asked Mayor Mitchell with a smile on his face.

"We have been thinking wouldn't it be more convenient, if we built more modern bridge, that would be closer to each town? Mitchell said.

Daniels liked that idea and added "How about a dam; so we can have our own electric power plant , this will solve the problem of puck, power our towns, and keep rates low for our fellow town's people.

"Marvelous idea Daniels, just Marvelous!" Mayor Mitchell exclaimed.

So they shook hands and held a special election in each of their hamlets.

It passed unanimously, Funds were appropriated and work on the new bridge began immediately. Five miles upriver a damn and bridge were built. A mix of steel and concrete.

Six months after the Puck incident the bridge was opened and both Mayors cut the ribbon in the middle of the bridge. The dam supplied water and enough power to satisfy both towns' needs.

One day Puck and Paddyscarey heard a hammering on the bridge above. They both went out to explore what was going on. They saw workman working the covered bridge.

"Huh? Puck exclaimed when he read. "Bridge closed unsafe."What in the tarnation is going on" He said out loud.

"This bridge is now unsafe for passage " The workman said.

"When did this all happen?" Paddyscarey asked. "Oh about eight months ago." The worker said. Puck started jumping for joy. "So this means no Ferners can cross this bridge now?"

"No Sir, they have to use the new bridge five miles up the road." The worker said and got in his truck and drove away.

Paddyscarey and Puck just looked at each other in shock!

"New Bridge?"

So they took a walk up river and sure enough there stood the new bridge and damn. The water flowed from her in a steady rush. It stood a good one hundred feet off the ground.

They could see traffic passing on the bridge above.

"NO, NO!" Puck screamed and shook his fist at the giant bridge.

His shoulders sagged and he slowly walked back home with Paddyscarey.

"Why did they do that Paddy? I was right in not allowing them Ferners's from passing into Gen They polluted our skies , our minds and now, now they blocked out water from flowing freely. It's not fair, not fair at all!" Puck said as he kicked some loose stones in front of him.

Paddyscarey just wrapped her arms around him and held him. He cried for a good long while. His whole world seemed like it came crashing down on him.

One day Tommy Clark went fishing not far from the old covered bridge, he peeked under it and saw the old shack that the McDougall's had lived in was all caved in. He moved rather slowly under the bridge and called out their names. He found them under the rubble. The shack stove pipe had been plugged from years of soot.

Paddyscarey and Puke died from the Carbon Monoxide that had seeped into their home. No one knew until Tommy told them.

The Moral of this story is when Majority rules someone is going to get pucked!