A Month in the Heart...

'I don't want to look like a total alien,' I breathed.

'Pity,' he said. 'Okay.'

It took Ray about twenty minutes to shave off all my body hair except for my scalp and my eyebrows. I got on all fours, to give him better access to my ass, and he carefully and delicately shaved off the hairs in the crack of my bum. He lifted my penis and shaved my scrotum, and I sighed gently as he made my entire body smooth and clean. Then, when he was satisfied, he stood me up and put me under the showers yet again.

I showered, and felt my body hair washing off me until I looked and felt like a slightly overgrown adolescent. My body looked alluringly pink and clean and naked without any hair. I also looked younger. I was slighter and slimmer than the others, and without any body hair I looked more like 15 than 18. I covered myself with a bathrobe.

Ray took me by the hand and pulled me downstairs to the living room. He tugged the bathrobe off me so that I was naked, then he made me kneel on the floor, and he grabbed his camera. He took some photos of me, and then he stood in front of me and jerked himself off until he came over my face. After he'd come, he stood for a moment, panting for breath, then he smeared his own cum into my face with his semi-erect penis before thrusting it into his shorts and walking away.

I knelt on the living room floor, naked, shaven, my face dripping with cum, and I felt ashamed. I groped for a tissue, found one and wiped my face. Then, when I could see, my eyes focused on Pete, the last one left, who was sitting watching me, a bottle of beer in one hand.

'How do you feel now?' he asked sardonically.

'Used,' I muttered. I sat in the nearest chair and folded my naked limbs around myself, to conceal my modesty. I didn't know why, it wasn't like Pete hadn't seen me naked. But I wanted to preserve some shred of my own innocence and dignity.

'I can see why,' he said at last.

'Did you all plan this?' I asked. I felt chilly. I got off the chair, reached for my robe and put it back on again.

'Fuck no,' he said, looking disturbed. 'We were hoping that we'd all cop off with the local girls. We didn't realise that there aren't any. It was Chris and Ray's idea that we use you instead. I'm sorry we sprung it on you.'

'Hey,' I said, glancing at him, 'you gave me a choice. Nobody forced me. You just gambled that I'd be horny enough.'

'It seems that you are,' he said.

'Yes,' I admitted. 'It looks like it. You must think I'm a total fucking slut for letting you do this to me.'

'Not at all,' Pete said. 'I think it's about the boldest thing I've ever seen. I think you're seriously cool for doing this.'

'Thanks,' I said with a slightly reluctant smile.

'You know what I said earlier?' Pete said. 'About how I'd fancy you like I fancy a girl?'

'Yeah...' I said, curious.

'I mean,' he said carefully, 'that...ok, I fancy you. But I also like you, Alex. I want to...'

I watched him, sitting in my deep chair, my arms and legs folded around myself.

'I don't want to fuck you,' Pete said, his face drawn and anxious. 'I don't want to just use you for that. I want to see what it's like to make love to you.' Pete came towards me and stared at me, holding my hands.

'Then,' I said, 'you can do me a favour.'

'Anything,' he whispered.

'Take me to bed,' I breathed.

He grinned, scooped me up and carried me at least as far as the exit of the living room, when he had to let me go. We ran up to his room and when I was there, I shed my bathrobe and got into his bed.

Pete quickly undressed, looking down at me. I lay on my back, naked, smiling up at him.

'You're the first one to have the decency to take his clothes off,' I said.

'Men are such bastards,' said Pete, and he grinned as he got onto the bed and then lay on top of me, and for the first time I was naked with another person. Our cocks fitted together strangely and our bodies were lean -- mine skinny, his fairly well-built. He took my face in his hands and he kissed me.

I fell into the kiss, luxuriating in it, the first gesture of real affection I'd had all night, and I squirmed and moaned softly as he kissed me and ran his hands all over my body, reaching down and stroking me, touching my cock with his fingers and stroking my bare hips and ass and torso, caressing me. I was getting harder by the second. Pete put his tongue in my mouth and I moaned louder, receiving him, and then I just lay back and caressed his body and moaned as he made love to me, his kisses keeping my mouth moist and warm and his cock pushing between the tops of my thighs, my own stiff cock bouncing off my own belly, and he told me how cute I was and how they had all agreed that they wanted me and I secretly revelled in hearing it. He told me how he hadn't been sure about it until I was naked, and then he'd been turned on by my tight round ass and my cock and my slim body and my cute face, and he'd started to think that maybe I was just a girl in a boy's body, and I moaned with desire as he told me that he didn't think that my asshole was my asshole, he thought of it as my cunt, and how it was the place where he was going to feel the most pleasure and he wanted me to feel it there too; and then his slippery cock was pressing on my perineum until I disengaged from his kisses and rolled onto my belly, and I felt him slipping lube in between my by now oh-so-receptive but still tight buttocks, and then the hot, stiff pole of muscle was pushing up against my tight but willing anal muscle, and I buried my face in the pillow and let him inside me with barely a whimper.

Pete mounted my hips and fucked me, slow, long and deeply, as I squirmed, pinioned and breathless and ecstatic beneath him. Spent as I was, piercingly and deliciously humiliated as I was, I submitted to him utterly, making high-pitched whimpers of pleasure as he forced his cock into my rectum -- 'Aauuhh...aauuhh...auuhh..aaah...aaahhh...oooh...oooh...oh, God, Pete, please...ooooh...'

'Cum for me, sweetie,' he muttered in my ear, 'cum for me, go on, be my girl, show me how much you like it, show me how you like feeling my cock in your cunt...'

If I weren't already turned on by Pete's comprehensive and powerful techniques of seduction, the fact that I suddenly felt Pete's long narrow cock pushing at my prostate was what made me moan incoherently, raise my hips and convulse as I came, copiously, over the bedsheet. Then I collapsed into the wet patch and just made a long, formless moan of pleasure as I felt Pete coming inside me.

The next thing I knew, it can only have been a couple of minutes later as a smiling, tired-looking Pete was shaking my shoulder.

'Come on, cutie,' he said, 'we need to get cleaned up and I'm changing this sheet. You can sleep with me.'

I smiled at him, weary and grateful, and we got off the bed and stripped the sheet off and replaced it before running naked into the bathroom and taking a quick shower together, washing off the lube and bodily fluids. Then he led me back into his room, grey light filtering through the curtains -- the clock said 04:47 -- before we collapsed into bed and I fell asleep with him spooning me from behind.

***

I don't remember my dreams. I woke up thirsty and aching, and for a wonderful moment I felt like it had all been a weird and embarrassing dream.

And then I realised I was naked and a little chilly, and I was in Pete's bed, and it wasn't a dream. It had happened. We had got a bit drunk and I had let my so-called friends strip me nude and then fuck me.

I flushed crimson, hid my head under the pillow and moaned quietly. I would just have to go home today and trust that they would never mention this again. Ever. It was the only way. They had as much to lose by telling anyone about it as I did.

I looked out from under the pillow, cautiously. I saw a big glass of water and a couple of Nurofen, and a small piece of notepaper with my name on it. I sat up and drank deeply, then took the pills and chased them with water, and I unfolded the note.

It was in Pete's handwriting.

'Alex -

Hope you don't feel too bad about last night. The others wanted me to write something.

Yes, we are all pretty embarrassed about it. But we all had a good time. We hope you did too. You seemed to, mostly. I know I did.

It seems to us that there are three things we can do:

1. Be totally open about it, now and after we get back. We don't suppose you want to do that anymore than we do.

2. Pretend it never happened. Tricky but possible. It's up to you.

3. Keep it among ourselves and more or less continue on for the rest of the holiday like we are now -- i.e. you are still subject to the conditions of the bet. Then it all ends when the holiday ends, or else we can set up a safe word if you want to end it before then. But we found last night really exciting and if you're still up for it we want to continue with it -- and we see no reason why anybody else ever need know about it, unless you want them to. It's just between us guys. We are having fun as long as you are.

Let's talk about it. In the light of day we are agreed that it's your call. We loved having you and we'd like to do it again, but only if you say yes.

Come downstairs, we're having brunch.

X Pete'

I stared at it and re-read it and thought, finishing the water while I did so.

On the one hand, I had let myself be talked into a situation where I was the more-or-less willing butt-boy for a group of rich kids who were bigger and stronger than me.

On the other hand, I had mostly enjoyed it. I had liked the attention, I had liked the compliments but most importantly I had liked, or at any rate hadn't disliked, the completely unfamiliar but overwhelming sensation of allowing four guys to put their penises up my bum. I had never, ever considered it before as something that I'd enjoy, but it had turned out to be powerfully erotic and in at least one case, a source of genuine pleasure. Okay, and a fifth one had merely come in my face, which I'd experienced as mainly icky and demeaning.

I didn't fancy any of them, with the possible exceptions of Pete, and that was mainly because he'd been nice to me, and Chris, because he'd been the one so obviously in lust with me.

I didn't feel like I was gay. I had never fancied men. But I did like being lusted after, and I had liked the sexual contact.

I was on holiday. I might never get to do this again. At the very least, I might learn something. And I had the power: I was the one that they fancied. As long as they fancied me, I might be able to get them to do what I liked.

I got out of bed and slipped down the landing, naked, into my own room, where I got dressed in briefs and jeans and a t-shirt. I glanced out the window. It was nearly midday, the sky was grey and rainy. I didn't bother to put on socks but padded down the stairs and into the kitchen.

They were all sitting around the table. The smell of bacon was in the air and the table was littered with greasy plates. They looked at me. Pete and Chris grinned. The others played it cool. I looked back at them.

'Hi,' I said.

'Hi,' said Pete. 'Did you get a chance to read the note?'

'Yeah,' I said, and went to the kettle and refilled it and turned it on. I waited till I heard it start to roar quietly, then I fetched a mug and put a teabag in it.

'Well?' said Chris.

'Let's get one thing clear,' I said, turning and looking at them. 'I didn't do anything last night that I didn't want to do.'

They were silent.

'And all I'm saying,' I added, 'is that I didn't do anything last night that I wouldn't be willing to do again.' I blushed and smiled, and the guys smiled back.

'Glad to hear it,' said Chris.

'Why?' I said.

'We were just talking about things we'd like to do,' said Chris casually.

'You mean things you'd like to do to me?' I said.

'Well, yeah,' he grinned.

'Go on,' I said.

'Maybe we could go on the internet later and find some things that we'd like to try,' said Danny.

'As long as it doesn't involve pain or bodily waste,' I said.

'Hey, look,' said Chris, 'we may be perverts for this fortnight, but we're not sick perverts.'

'I can't do too many nights like last night,' I said. 'I'm knackered today. Just I don't think I can do everyone every night.'

'That's okay,' said Chris hurriedly. 'We'll work it out. Maybe the best thing would be if you're either with one of us for the whole night, or...'

He fell silent. I looked at them.

'Or what,' I said, nervous.

'Or you're with all of us, or a few of us, just for a while,' he said. 'We thought of a few things that might be kinda fun.'

I put bread in the toaster and pressed the lever down.

'Well, first off,' I said, concealing my own nervousness at what might be Chris' idea of 'fun', 'I'm not up for anything before I've had my breakfast.'

It was like they sprang into action. I had never been so pampered. They sat me down, made me toast and a poached egg, and my tea was brewed to perfection.

For the first time in my life, I realised what it was like to be a girl.