A Mother Always Knows

Ben and Dianna had gone back to their place to change clothes, and Andie, Leah, Liv, and Marie were in the house working on preparing side dishes. I was sitting out on the back deck relaxing when all I heard a sweet little voice say, "Mike, will you get in the pool with me? Mommy won't let me go in by myself."

"What do I get if I do, Miss Caitlyn?" I teased, turning around to find her standing there, grinning like a kid at Christmas.

"This," she giggled, then leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, and said, "Please?"

"Did you bring your swimsuit?" I asked, and being quickly answered by her eagerly nodding her head, "Okay then, I'll get mine on while you do the same. Oh, and be sure to tell your Mommy."

Caitlyn squealed like only a little girl can do, and then made a mad dash for the house, yelling her for her mother at the top of her lungs. I shook my head laughing and followed her in to get changed. It was then I discovered that any time I talked to Caitlyn, it was like I was pleasantly pulled back to the past, and days long gone. She looked so much like Olivia had when she and I were Caitlyn's age. And when I thought of those days, I also felt the inner peace that was also accompanied by the innocence of that time in our lives.

~~~~~~

"Wheee," Caitlyn squealed, as I threw her up into the air and into the water.

"She'll do that all day if you let her," Liv's voice said behind me, making me turn around to find her kneeling at the side of the pool. She was wearing a pair of white shorts, further enhancing the tan color of her beautiful legs that seemed to go on forever. She had her long raven hair pulled back and up in a pony-tail, exposing her bare shoulders because of the black tank top she wore. Her stunningly beautiful face was radiant as she looked at me, and for a moment, I thought I was looking at an angel. Her gentle cobalt blue eyes had always been a source of comfort for me when I was young, but I was beginning to experience a yearning for something, that I wasn't yet aware of, every time I looked into them now.

And for reasons that I couldn't figure out, or I simply wasn't yet willing to admit to at that time, she looked more beautiful than I ever remembered her, or any other woman for that matter, ever being. I continued to stare at her making her smile and ask, "What is it, Michael, and why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're beautiful, Liv," I barely spoke, "You're so beautiful."

All at once her eyes filled with tears, then standing up and away from me, Liv turned and then, without a word, quickly fled, going back through the house and out the front door, closing it behind her.

I immediately got out of the pool, and asking Leah to keep an eye on Caitlyn, grabbed a towel on my way through the house. But, the last thing I saw when I opened the front door, was the tail gate of Liv's truck as she sped away. I couldn't for the life of me, figure out what I'd said that upset her like I apparently had. However, God always take care of fools and children, because as soon as I closed the front door, Marie was standing right behind me, smiling while scaring the shit out of me at the same time.

"What's wrong with Olivia?" she asked, giggling because she'd startled me. And then omitting nothing, I told her everything that had transpired from the time Liv had come out to pool until now. When I was done; she simply smiled, and then while gently placing the palm of hand against my face, Marie knowingly said, "She'll be alright, baby. It sounds to me like the two of you need to sit down and have a serious talk."

"A serious talk," I stupidly asked, "About what?"

"You're a smart boy, Michael; you always have been," Marie giggled, "You'll figure it out."

~~~~~~

An hour had passed and still, no word from Liv. I was beginning to get worried so, I went upstairs to my room to change clothes because I was going to go look for her. I didn't realize it then, but I was beginning to develop feelings for Liv that I'd never had before. Hell, I'd never had those kinds of feelings for any woman before.

I had just finished putting on my pants, and was still shirtless when I heard a knock on my bedroom door, followed by a familiar female voice say, "Michael, can I come in?"

"Come on in," I said.

The door flew open followed by Liv, as she came right up to me and threw her arms tightly around my neck, saying nothing but simply holding me. I put my arms around her torso and held her in return, enjoying the sensation of her body against mine. We stood there silently as she tenderly kissed the side of my neck just below my ear, producing a pleasant tingle that ran down my back, making me shiver and her giggle.

"I'm sorry I just left like I did earlier," she said, leaning back so that we faced one another, "I guess you're probably wondering why I did that, huh?"

"Well, the thought did cross my mind," I chuckled, "I thought that I upset you by what I said."

"There's something I need to tell you, Michael," she anxiously said, "But I want us to be somewhere else when I do."

"Jeez, Liv," I smiled, "You make it sound like you're going to divulge to secret information, or something."

"It's nothing like that," she sadly smiled, "But it's gonna make things different between us, I'm afraid."

"I'll tell you what," I grinned, "I know that the meat is not going to be ready for at least another hour so; as soon as I finish getting dressed, you and I will go for a drive. How does that sound?"

"Hmmm, I like the part about going for a drive" she sweetly giggled, while rubbing her palm across my bare chest, "But can you leave your shirt off?"

"Silly girl," I laughed, kissing her on the cheek.

~~~~~~

Because we weren't that far away, Olivia drove us to the fairgrounds, and parked by the main parade field. That way, we could get out of the truck and walk around while we talked.

"Now before I tell you this," she nervously said, "You have to promise me that we'll always be friends like we are now, okay?"

"Come on, Liv," I smiled, "You know that's never going to change."

"Okay then," she began, "From the time we were both real little, I always knew that there was something very special about you, Michael. You were this beautiful little boy that was my best friend, and I adored you, hell, I still do."

"Really," I asked, "You do?"

"Yes," she laughed, "Now let me finish. You and your Mom were always over at my house, or Mom and I were always over at yours. You were always so sweet to me, and you were the same way at school, too. About the time I turned eleven or twelve, I began to look at you differently. Then as I grew older, I began to have dreams about you at night and my panties would be wet when I woke up the next morning. What I'm trying to say is that, I fell in love with you a long time ago, Michael..." tears began to fill her eyes... "And I've never stopped." And as I wiped the tears from her cheek with the back of my hand, Olivia took it into hers and continued, "When you told me I was beautiful, it overwhelmed me because it was something I never thought I would ever hear you say to me, Michael." Then straightening herself up, she let go of my hand and asked, "So, tell me, do you still feel the same way that you did before?"

"Would you really like to know how I feel? I asked her, intently looking into her eyes.

"Damnit, Michael," she frowned, "I wouldn't have asked otherwise, now, would I?"

"Alright then," I slyly grinned, "You asked for it." And with that said, I leaned in and very tenderly kissed her lips, lingering only milliseconds before I kissed her again. It took Olivia no time to lean further into me and firmly press her lips upon mine, our arms now tightly wrapped around one another. A few moments later our tongues joined and made complete, a kiss that began many years ago before coming to fruition that afternoon.

"Does that answer your question?" I grinned, both of us breathing heavily.

"It does for now," she smiled, her eyes shining brightly, "There's still a lot more to talk about later. In the mean time, I need to get back and make sure that my daughter hasn't torn the place down yet."

The one thing that I love most about Liv is that she taught me to not be in such a big hurry all the time, and that everything would happen exactly the way it was supposed to.

~~~~~~

We were just in time when we got back to the house, because Dad was smiling ear-to-ear and said, "It's a good thing you two got back when you did, or there wouldn't be anything left."

"Gimme a break," I laughed, "There a ton of food out there."

"That's right," chuckled Dad, "Now get your asses out there and dig in. Besides, me and Floyd worked our asses off cookin it."

"You mean, you and Floyd stood out there drinking beer while it cooked," Olivia giggled.

"Who asked you, girlie?" Dad teased, kissing Olivia on the forehead, "Smart ass kids."

~~~~~~

Chapter Four

We had all finished eating and were sitting around talking, Leah on my left, Olivia on my right, with Caitlyn in my lap, when Dad, who had disappeared a few moments earlier, came out onto the patio carrying a medium sized box.

"What's up, Dad?" Andie grinned.

"A nice surprise, baby-girl," he mischievously grinned. Then he stood and announced, "Amanda and I had a long talk before she passed away, and she wanted to make sure that the six girls she loved the most all had something of hers." And then reaching into the cardboard box, Dad retrieved six smaller, different sized boxes and set them on the table, placing the cardboard box in the floor.

Beginning with Andie, who like everyone else there, had tears threatening to pour down her smiling face; Dad smiled said, "This was your mother's diamond earring, necklace and bracelet set that she wanted you to have. She said that it wasn't nearly as beautiful as you, but that it would look beautiful on you."

"Thank you, Daddy," Andie quietly cried into his chest, "I love you."

"I love you, too, baby," he smiled, patting her on the back.

Then he picked up another box, and handing it to Dianna, Dad smiled, "This is a ruby necklace that Amanda wanted you to have. She said that rubies make a woman look sassy, and that it took a sassy woman to tame Ben. She also said that she loved you very much, and that she was so proud the day that you and Ben were married."

"Thank you, Mark," Dianna softly cried, hugging Dad.

"And now for you, young lady," Dad chuckled at Leah, as he picked up the biggest of the boxes on the table. "This was your grandmother's gold and diamond earrings, necklace, and bracelet set. She wore these on her wedding day, and she hopes that you will wear them on yours. She said that...that way she could be there with you."

Leah was too moved to speak by this point in time, and all she could do was to bury her face into Dad's chest softly cry, clutching her grandmother's gift to her chest.

After Leah had settled back down, Dad smiled as he turned to Marie. Handing her one of three boxes left on the table, he grinned and told her, "You and Amanda were friends for a very long time and she loved you very much. Inside this box is her jade bracelet that she got when she and I went to Hong Kong a few years back, as well as the jade earrings that match it, and she wanted you to have them, Marie."

""Mark, thank you, sweetie," she sniffed, as she kissed Dad on the cheek.

"You're welcome," Dad smiled. Then he grinned at Caitlyn, and said, "And I've got something for you, too, little cutie."

"What," she excitedly asked, "What is it?"

Dad handed her the smaller of the two boxes left and said, "Ms. Amanda had this when she was your age. It's a little gold cross on a little gold chain that will fit you perfectly, and she said that as long as you wear it; God will always protect you."

Opening the box, Caitlyn's beautiful little face lit up as she asked, "Can I wear it right now?"

"You sure can," Dad smiled, "Would you like me to help you put it on?"

"Yes, please," Caitlyn sweetly replied, as she lifted the back of her hair.

Once Dad had the clasp in place and the dainty chain was secure around her little neck, he gently turned Caitlyn back around and smiling brightly, said, "On my goodness, Caitlyn. That looks very pretty on you, sweetie."

"Thank you, Poppy," she giggled, giving Dad a hug.

Caitlyn climbed into Leah's lap when Dad smiled at Olivia, and handing her the remaining box, said, "This is a diamond necklace that I had made for Amanda many years ago, and she wanted you to have it. There's also something else in there that no one is to know about but you. There's a letter from Amanda in there that, while I wrote it for her, will tell you exactly what to do with the other item."

"Why all the secrecy, Dad," I laughed, "This isn't the CIA you know?"

My father has, as I'm sure all fathers have, a look that lets me know when to close my mouth and not speak another word, and he used that face when he replied, "It's between your mother and Libby. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir," I replied, not wanting to push the issue any further.

~~~~~~

That night I slept well at first, but I woke up around four o'clock that next morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I decided to go downstairs and have a snack. Maybe I would be able to go back to sleep after I ate something.

I went into the kitchen made my self a sandwich out of some the venison that I hadn't yet had the opportunity to taste, and grabbing a soft drink, went out the back door to the deck. Taking a seat at the table there, I reached over to the radio Dad kept out back. After I turned the volume down, I switched on the receiver and soft music soon floated out of the speakers. As I was eating, my mind drifted back to earlier that previous day, when I had been walking with Olivia at the fairgrounds.

All of a sudden I heard Andie's voice say, "What's wrong, baby brother, can't you sleep either?"

"Hi, sis," I smiled, as Andie appeared from behind with plate in one hand and a glass of milk in the other.

As she sat down next me, I saw the rather large slice of coconut crème pie on her plate as she giggled, "This pie was calling to me, Mikey, and so, I just had to come see what it wanted." My sister has always been able to tell when something was bothering me and this night was no different. After taking a bite of her pie, she looked at me strangely and asked, "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Hell, Andie," I replied, shaking my head, "I don't know, it's just...."

"You like her;" Andie interrupted me giggling, "Don't you?"

Knowing that I had never been able to hide anything from Andie, I looked at her in confusion and said, "I don't know what I'm feeling right now."

My kind and gentle sister had always known when I was about to spill over, and in doing so, she set her fork down and then took me into her arms and softly cooed, "Its okay, baby boy. Big sister's right here." All of a sudden my emotions got the best of me, and I layed my head on my Andie's shoulder and openly wept. I cried because Mom was gone, I cried at the thought of Dad being alone, I cried because of my failed marriage, but most of all I cried because, for the first time in my life, I felt lost and didn't know where to turn. And as always, Andie knew just what to say and do to calm me back down again, and bring a smile back to my face. As anyone can plainly see, my sister is the best.

"You gonna be okay now?" she asked, once I'd regained my composure.

"Yeah," I sighed, "I'm alright now."

"Good," she said, leaning back to look at me. Then her face changed, and she pointedly said, "So, like I said before, Michael, you like her, don't you?" Andie only ever called me Michael, as opposed to Mike or Mikey, when she was either pissed off at me, or letting me know that she was not making a suggestion, as was the case here.

"You're probably right," I relented, "But I'm still not real sure."

Andie smiled and sat up in her chair, then turning to face me, took my hand and told me, "Look Mike, sweetie. I'm going to tell you something that you have to promise to me you will never repeat."

"Okay, sis," I said, "I promise."

Andie took a deep breath and began, "The reason that Olivia doesn't speak of Caitlyn's father is because, when......"

"She already told me," I interrupted, "She was raped while she was still in college. I know all about it, the concert, the two guys, everything."

"Well then, did you know that she was virgin when that happened," Andie informed me, "And that she hasn't been with another man since?"

"No," I quietly replied, "I didn't know that."

"Look, Mikey," Andie smiled, "Libby is a great no, make that a dynamite woman. She's beautiful, you told her that yourself earlier this afternoon, if I'm not mistaken."

"No," I laughed, "You're not mistaken there."

"There's something else," Andie said, "Mom use to talk about the two of you being together. She said that if you ever came back home and stayed here long enough for the two of you to get reacquainted; then you'd never leave here again."

"Is that a fact," I teasingly asked, "Did Mom cook that one up all by herself, or did you help her?"

"Oh, shut up," Andie giggled, "Seriously Mikey, give Libby a chance. You never know what could happen."

"I'll tell you what I'll do, Sis," I smiled, "I promise that I'll think about it, okay?"

"Come on now," she admonished, "You'll have to do better than that, Mike."

"You listen to me, Andie," I animatedly replied, "I'm still a little gun shy when it comes to women these days anyway so, that's all I can give right now. Do you understand? That's all I can give."

"Oh, chill out," she giggled, hugging me again, "You're gonna be okay, Mikey, I promise."

~~~~~~

Later on that morning around nine o'clock, I arrived at the pavilion to do a little work on the upcoming Cantata. Being the conductor, I was given a key. And as I opened the door and reached in to turn on the backstage lights, a memory of days gone by flashed into my head, taking me back to when I first moved out to Los Angeles. I lived in a warehouse apartment where the sounds and smells weren't too dissimilar from what I was experiencing now.

I walked across the stage with the conductor's score in my hand, and laid it across the top of the piano, spreading it out so as to get a better look. While I would never try to second guess Rachmaninov, I noticed that there were spaces within the musical phrases that could be a little fuller sounding. Every instrument in the orchestra, as well as the choir, were all being utilized in those places, but still, I found that there was room for something more. That's when it finally hit me, the other half of what I'd been missing. I went straight to the office and immediately picked up the phone.

~~~~~~

"Are you sure you're going to be alright with everything, man?" I said into the phone.

"We'll take care of everything on this end," the voice replied through the receiver, "Just make sure that someone is there to take delivery when everything arrives tomorrow."

"No problem," I said, right before hanging up, "Thanks again, Dave."

Everything was set, and the Cantata this year would be a performance that many people in my hometown would remember for years to come.

~~~~~~

When everyone showed up for rehearsal the following Monday night, they, Olivia included, were all amazed at what they saw set up next to conductor's podium.

I'd brought in my Moog 55 Modular synthesizer, both of my Mini Moogs, an ARP 2500 sitting atop a Hammond B-3, completed by a Roland Jupiter 8, totaling five synthesizers in all.

"What in the world are those things," asked Harmon Jens, one of the trombone players.

Before I could answer, Olivia explained, in-depth, what every instrument was, not to mention what recording artists used them. I was astonished, to say the least, at Olivia's knowledge of analog synthesizers, but then again, she was a pianist so, why shouldn't she at have least heard of these instruments?"