A Mother's Fears

As the moonlight filters in through the window, illuminating my grandson’s face, I sit and watch him in peaceful slumber, wondering what the future holds for him. Such innocence portrayed in his relaxed, serene face. A child born to a country which was free of international threats, his biggest fear being the monsters in his closet.

Now as he lies sleeping, I wonder if his youthful innocence will be lost to a nation thrown into war by malicious people who have no respect for the basic ideals of life. Will he have to endure the hardships so many war- ravaged civilizations have lived through and which concede as normal every day life? Will he have to be in fear of going to sleep at night wondering if he will see the morning sun shining?

As a human being, my heart cries at the loss of life. As a mother my heart cries in fear of the unknown and what the future holds for my children, my grandchildren, my family, my friends. Will I be one of the many people who will lose a child to war?

As my children grew up, my biggest fear for them was if they would pass the grade, learn to respect other people and to respect their own person, make the right decisions. Hoping fervently that they would be honest and trustworthy. Live their lives to the fullest and to the best of their ability.
As talks of war begin a song comes to mind, my eyes fill with tears…

Little child, dry your crying eyes
How can I explain the fear you feel inside?
Cause you were born into this evil world
Where man is killing man
And no one knows just why.
What we have become
Just look what we have done,
All that we have destroyed
You must build again

When the children cry
Let them know we tried.
Cause when the children sing
Then the new world begins.

Little child
You must show the way
To a better day for all the young.
Cause you were born
for all the world to see
That we all can live
with love and peace.
No more presidents and all the wars will end
One united world under God…
(White Lion)

My children, I wish I could hold you, cuddle you, promise you everything will be okay. I wish you were two again, holding you close to my breast, holding your tiny hand in mine, promising you the world. I fear for you and for what the future holds for you. I pray to God that you will have the chance to live your life to a ripe old age, creating memories to pass on to your future generations.

My children, I want you to know, you are beautiful young people. A mother couldn’t ask for more. I love you more than words can say. No matter what happens in this big, old world, be assured that my love for you will never diminish. Your fears, your anxieties, your insecurities are carried within my heart. My heart aches for what you will endure in your futures. I want you to know, you will never walk alone. Keep your faith and the knowledge that I love you in your hearts.

My grandson, you have given me new meaning to the word life. I want to hold you close and never let you go. I want to protect you against all the evil in this world. I want to reassure you, you will have a long life, filled with many happy memories. Tears fill my eyes and my heart breaks knowing I can not make these promises to you.

I pray daily you get the chance to prove yourself to the world. To grow into a fine, upstanding man your mother can be proud of. The chance to spread your wings and experience life to the fullest, reveling in all the pleasures this world has to offer. To find love, bask in that love and grow stronger from that love.

My children, my grandchild…remember how much I love you. May your guardian angel watch over you and protect you.

My love goes with each of you forever and ever…
~Your mother~